anxious-twentysomething

[anxious-twentysomething]

Frozen 2

I watched Frozen 2 last night. I absolutely loved it. It made me feel so many things. It made me laugh, it made me cry, it made me think about my sister, and most importantly, it made me think about my life.

It made me laugh because it had genuinely funny one-liners mostly coming from the absolute legend that is Josh Gad and his Olaf. So thank you for that, big fan.

It made me cry. Several times. Mostly thanks to the music, something that I am truly grateful for and is a real signal for me of whether something is good or not. If the music is intense enough to make me feel deep emotions then it is a masterpiece. This happened several times during the movie, the most significant being 'Show Yourself', which is not even a sad song but just somehow hit the right spots in me. And I have to admit, I have listened to the song at least 10 times when I got home after, and cried every fuckig time. Magnificent.

It made me think about my sister and our relationship. I see parts of both Elsa and Anna in both of us but to be honest, I see myself more as Elsa. I am the older one and while I'd give everything to help my sister and do the best for her, I'm usually shutting her (and everyone else) out and try to face and solve my problems alone, not wanting to hurt or inconvenience anyone. This behavior probably developed over the year as even though my parents were always very supportive of me, we rarely discussed really big issues we had. Neither did we with my sister. Therefore I feel that we have a sort of mixed relationship: while we have a special bond as sisters and this would allow for the sharing of the deepest dilemmas, we don't do it because we are not used to it. So I felt the frustration of both sisters in the movie. And this brings me to my last point.

It made me think about my life. Seriously. I am at a point in my life where I'm not quite sure what I want and what I need. I've had a lot of disappointment in terms of professional life and I know that I'm not where I'm meant to be (cue 'Into the Unknown', more specifically the line 'Who knows deep down I'm not where I'm meant to be?'). And I just don't know what to do. What is the purpose of my life? What was the purpose of all that hard work at school for so many years? Just that I could sit at a desk in an office? I certainly hope not. But then what? When will I know it? Why can't I also get a mysterious voice that I can follow into the unknown to find my true self?

I decided to walk home after the movie instead of biking. I felt that I needed to move slowly to process all these emotions and the peaceful nighttime made a perfect environment for it. I just walked, avoiding busier streets. I looked at the houses with the lights on inside. And just marveled at the fact that a short animated movie like Frozen 2 can completely take me out of my everyday life and have me immersed in its own magical and seemingly simple but in reality very complex world and ideas and make me leave the cinema changed inside. That's just pure magic. And I rarely feel that way but somehow this movie was special. And I am extremely grateful for this experience.

[anxious-twentysomething]

Why the fuck do I keep sneezing in the middle of winter? What can I possibly be allergic to at this time of the year? Lack of sunlight?!

[anxious-twentysomething]

The only problem with books and movies is that you can read/watch them for the first time only once. It will never be the same experience again. And that makes me very sad.

[anxious-twentysomething]

every moment i am not living in an old, most likely haunted gothic mansion with a secret passage hidden behind one of the bookcases is a moment poorly spent

[anxious-twentysomething]

[anxious-twentysomething]

I can't stress enough how much I can't wait for Christmas morning to come so I can sit beside the Christmas tree with a cup of tea and watch Harry Potter in my pjs like I've never seen it before. Fucking idyllic.

[anxious-twentysomething]

[anxious-twentysomething]

I used to cringe so hard at my “I’m not like other girls” phase until I realized that most girls have this phase and what we actually mean is, “I’m not a thoughtless one-dimensional caricature of makeup and boobs, which is all I’ve been taught to believe girls are.” How can women be viewed so poorly that little girls everywhere all think they’re unique just for having independent thoughts and interests?

[anxious-twentysomething]

I'm at a point in my life where I'd give anything to become a cat