anxious-and-asexual

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Odysseus: I am different, I am no longer the man you married, it's been 20 long years but if you could just fall in love with me again?

Penelope: if you can do something for me

Odysseus: anything

Penelope: move my wedding bed.

Odysseus: I can't, it's made out of a living tree, to move it I would have to destroy it. How can yo-

Penelope: oh, I thought we were asking each other stupid questions?

Odysseus:

Penelope: 'FaLl iN lOvE wItH mE aGaiN' to do that I would have had to stop loving you.

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i rlly like how odysseus has been willing to show mercy up until this point. like EVEN ON POSEIDON AT FIRST he offered “hey we can both just like leave” and only began fighting when poseidon tried to drown him

then fucking ANTINOUS shows up and is like “i’m going to sexually assault your wife and kill your son” and ANY THOUGHTS of showing mercy on him or anyone in that room immediately went OUT OF THE WINDOW

even when the suitors tried to beg for mercy, odysseus didn’t even dignify them with a proper response. he just said “no.”

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Penelope meeting Odysseus’ rage with her own is so >>>

The reminder that she’s suffering too. She’s grieving too. She’s angry too.

Odypen you will always be famous

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Penelope “you’re always my husband” and Odysseus “next to my wife” of Ithaca everyone

I’m afraid they invented romance actually

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Jokes aside the cast struggling to get to Ithaca irl and then also struggling to stream the Ithaca saga is so funny and appropriate

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”don’t be mad at Jorge about the stream cancelling” BRO THIS IS SO FUNNY I COULD NEVER BE ANGRY, THE ODYSSEY MUSICAL BEING AFFECTED BY A STORM? Beautiful

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kudos to jorge for continually making the release of the ithaca saga an immersive experience by going to ithaca itself, missing the ferry, getting caught in a storm, and having the livestream delayed. can’t wait to see everyone in ten years for the final album!

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How the nine covers fit together!

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Apothecary Diaries is pog as fuck bc serious political issues and dynamics from a woman's POV are rarely depicted in ANY form of media

It's always a man's world where women's issues surround him. Even if we get a female perspective once in awhile- it all comes back to how it facilitates his game in the end. She's a footnote in the overarching scheme of things. Misogyny exists. Back to the real plot.

Apothecary Diaries is strictly from a female perspective and how each class of woman has to act, what limits they have, what rights they have and don't have between each class, etc. These women have to behave a certain way under a patriarchy, which you would think makes it a man's story, but it never is. The women are THE focus of this show, their struggles are THE plot. The focus is about how the patriarch effects them.

Take the concubines for example. The show dives into how bearing a child affects their rank, how traumatizing it is to lose that child, the consequences of that, etc. We have barely seen the emperor who sired all these kids because this is not about him.

Jinshi's personal plot is secondary to Mao Mao's journey- he is mostly there to provide new cases for Mao Mao to solve and to learn more about the shortcomings of his class when taking care of citizens like Mao Mao.

Jinshi is not a bad person, but by virtue of his position in the higher classes, he cannot understand how harsh life as a poor WOMAN is specifically- he can only catch glimpses of it from what Mao Mao tells him and feel outrage but powerless in his wealth and luxury

Mao Mao is a fortunate commoner woman for what privileges someone in her class should and shouldn't have. She happened to be adopted by a knowledgeable man. She is allowed to read, write, learn, and has enough skill to be a poison tester and have a job EXTREMELY out of her class limit as an apothecary, also a job not traditionally meant for women

Mao Mao is not a "noT lIkE oThER gIrLs" protagonist, she is FOR THE GIRLIES. She only wants to help the women around her, and women are whom she has the closest relationships to. She sees a woman being harassed and can't let it stand. She sees a frail, traumatized woman dying from the recklessness of those who should be caring for her and spends day and night nursing her back to health, while also punishing the people who were so careless with her needs.

My girl has STUDIED UP on THE BODY to TEACH these upper class ladies on how to really HEAT things up in the BEDROOM

Sex depicted in Apothecary Diaries is both something women are not shamed to be enjoying, while at the same time being acknowledged as an unfortunately huge economic necessity to market themselves.

Like shit is just so real in this series???

Listen, I can go on and on about how GOATED the series and especially Mao Mao is but you get the picture

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It’s incredibly important to me that the anime decided to include this scene that wasn’t in the manga. In the manga, Maomao does pass out in Jinshi’s lap after saving him from what was obviously an assassination attempt.

HOWEVER, the manga cuts off at this point, keeping strictly in Maomao’s perspective, and cuts straight to when she regains consciousness in bed after being treated for her injuries. The manga doesn’t show how she got back. They SAY how, and she briefly mentions, “wow that must have been embarrassing; he carried me back,” but we don’t SEE it. We don’t get to feel the true impact of what that means. But the anime DID show us, and holy shit.

They SHOW us how taboo this is. They show Jinshi carrying her out of the temple, after a public attempt on his life.

They show us the shock and horror on Lakan’s face as Jinshi silently walks past him. Horror at the state his daughter is in, horror at another man—a man with a status he could never dare to question—staking such a public claim over his child, horror at the fact that he could never have this level of closeness with her (as Maomao would never allow it).

Everyone hides their gazes, as is their custom when someone of his rank passes by, but the air is different this time. Jinshi is furious, he’s terrified, and he could not give a single shit about how inappropriate it looks to these palace officials.

The shot that slowly follows her trail of blood—even though it’s a small detail—that in particular leaves such a intense impression of how poignant this is for him.

Maomao talked about this scene in the manga like it was nothing to her. She did what she set out to do: she saved the person who was targeted by the attack. She didn’t even know the target would be someone she knew. But she has no idea that this happened afterwards as a result of her bravery. To her, it likely wasn’t even an act of bravery at all. She acted on impulse; she did what she knew was the right thing to do.

The anime didn’t need to include this, because the manga didn’t show it. But damn, I’m so glad they did.

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Hello, I apologize if I'm bothering you, and I hope you’re well.💔 Unfortunately, I’m not. Please, imagine yourself in my position: two months ago, I emerged from the rubble after losing my grandfather and aunt, while my father was seriously injured; shrapnel is lodged in his body, and he needs urgent treatment and travel. We’ve lost everything—our source of income and our home—and now we live in a tent, shivering from the cold, without food, winter clothes, or blankets to protect us from the freezing temperatures, and we have no medicine or basic necessities.

Your donation is our only hope. $100 can help provide my father's daily treatment, $50 can assist us in buying winter clothes and blankets, as a single pajama costs $100, and we are eight family members. Even $20 can make a significant difference in securing our basic needs.

No matter the size of your contribution, it means life to us. Please, help us to survive, and don’t let us face this cold and pain alone.🙏

my link in bio

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

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URGENT HELP SAVE THE LIFE OF MY CHILD

Dear humanity,

Please Help Me – My Son May Die at Any Moment.

I'm Amal, a mother of three children, living under the weight of the genocide taking place in Gaza. 🍉

Here’s my story, and I’m reaching out with a hopeful heart 💔✨, hoping someone will feel what my family and I are going through.

My son is suffering from a severe and life-threatening injury after being shot by Israeli drones. He urgently needs medical treatment outside Gaza.

Time is running out, and we are facing a critical situation. I am asking for your generosity to help us save him either through a donation or by sharing this urgent plea with others

I beg you, i kiss your feet, to help my son. My son may die at any moment

I lost most of my family. I'm afraid to lose my son too 🥺 .

So I humbly ask you to donate even a little or at least reblog my post.

Please Donate now:👇👇 👇

Gofundme.com

paypal.com

Thank you for your compassion and kindness

7

^^^^^^^^^^

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When it comes to asexual allyship a lot of people wanna have their cake and eat it too (pun unintended). People like a lil 'aces are valid' moment but don't actually unpack compulsory sexuality. People see sexless queer representation and always clock puritanism before they ever clock asexuality. No one's actually reading the ace theory and texts coming out. Everyone keeps doing surprised Pikachu faces whenever a conservative or TERF says they're against asexuality despite the fact ace activists have been saying since day conservatives are not anti sex but anti sexual autonomy. 'Aces are queer' until we actually are. Even ace support posts keep ending with some expectation or condition that asexuality is #valid as long as asexuals still perform a small quota of sex/sexual activity. I'm so over 'Aces still have sex!' 'Aces are hot' Aces are sexy' 'Aces aren't virgin vanilla prude sexless puritans!' disguised as support.

Like no. Sorry. Until you accept that some asexual people's no is permanent, that some asexual's singleness is permanent, that some asexual's childless-ness is permanent, that some asexuals are the 'no' in little to no sexual attraction and i'd say most importantly, that queer sexlessness isn't a biological, social or moral failing, I don't believe you'll ever genuinely support asexuality. (In reverse, I also feel similar about aromanticism and romance).

Like a lot of u haven't gone beyond 'the a isn't for ally' and it shows. I don't want people to support asexuals just because we're soooo hot or because we write the best smut apparently or because we could have hypothetical sex or because we could do hypothetical kink or because our minds are soooo dirty actually or because we'd do romance reallllyyyy well or because we can still have kids or because asexuals hand out water bottles at the orgy or some shit. I want people to support asexuality because no sexuality is deviant and it's basic human decency.

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too many skk aus with beast chuuya meeting canon skk and the angst from beast chuuya’s pov cause he craves what canon skk have BUT LISTEN

i offer an alternative au idea with canon skk suffering! that is canon skk meeting ada chuuya. we all know in Beast Afterword asgr mentioned that there is likely a universe where chuuya left pm with dazai and joined ada. now imagine that chuuya ends up in canon skk world due to some ability. imagine canon skk seeing this chuuya who is in the Light bc of Dazai. the realization that chuuya is loyal to pm but his loyalty to dazai outweighs that. the pain that had dazai asked chuuya would have left with him. canon skk having to see ada chuuya casually mention sth about their life and burning with want and jealousy because this version of them didnt suffer like they did. they dont have a 4 year distance. they dont have things that the other doesnt know bc that’s what 4 years do to someone. especially when the transition is from a teenager to an adult. this chuuya would have dazai witness all his change and he’d see dazai’s changes too. they’re on the same side. partners still. can easily reach out for the other, can easily speak about the other without feeling like their heart is twisting. this version of them have everything that canon skk so desperately want but cant have.

this is what we need. we should leave Beast Chuuya alone cause he fr has suffered enough and do this!

edit: one more thing!

the feeling of “why him and not me?” that canon skk will have seeing ada chuuya. canon dazai thinking what did the other dazai have that made chuuya trust him so much as to turn his back on the people he considered family. what did that dazai have that he doesnt?

and canon chuuya thinking what did this chuuya have that made dazai love him so much that he asked him to leave with him. why this chuuya and why not him? what did he lack?

THE ANGST GUYS THE ANGST!!!

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A heartless man, a propaganda machine, an animal rights activist, a brainless prince and a dictator.

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Haven’t seen the new Wicked movie yet, but I am forever impressed by the fact that someone saw the “Wizard of Oz” and was like:

“Hm. Yes. I see. Okay. The wicked witch and that scarecrow? They’re in love for sure.”

“The witch who sets him on fire?”

“It’s a complicated situation.”

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dazai making up a whole language with fyodor that no one else can understand is amazing but imagine him using codes that, very objectively speaking, you could crack, it's just that no normal person would ever make the insane leaps in logic that it requires. except for someone familiar with dazai's weird thinking patterns, that is.

i just love the idea of dazai's unhinged antics being dialed up to an eleven when he was in the port mafia, and oda being the only one who simply wouldn't bat an eye at it but chuuya was the only one who would actually get it.

like imagine ango at the end of the jailbreak, his boss saying he should allow himself to sigh and lean back and maybe indulge himself, pat him on the shoulder, tell him what he pulled off reading heart rates wasn't easy and he should be proud for being able to keep up with such a plan

but ango i-drank-with-teenage-dazai-and-also-had-the-records-for-every-soukoku-mission sakaguchi can only remember the time dazai was like using greek sign language through his breathing patterns to communicate from a submarine from beneath the pacific ocean or something, and chuuya could not fathom how no one else could understand him.

and that was the day mori signed off on skk being exclusive partners because every subordinate in the room was crying tears of blood by the time chuuya finished explaining which blood pressure level was warning them about a bomb, which blinking sequence was him conveying the vault password and which series of inhales was just him calling mori a bitch.

(ango also pointedly did not want to think about how smug dazai had looked after the mission when mori confirmed skk would only be each others' partners for efficiency and to maintain everyone else's sanity

or about how when he called chuuya to tell him about dazai's prison break scheme he could only get like 3 out of 276 steps into the plan before chuuya rolled his eyes, said "got it" then hung up and pulled the whole thing off without a hitch.)