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Queen shit

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Today, one of my second graders was working on shape name recognition, and we got to this picture of a pyramid shape with a wide-ish base. When he saw it, his eyes lit up and he turned to me with a huge grin on his face, pointed at it, and said "When the teacher forgets to assign homework" before bursting out into hysterics, covering his mouth and giggling. I don't understand what happened except this kid CLEARLY knows about the strong comedic and memeable value of mathematical shapes and emotions that I, an old millennial, cannot comprehend I did, however, try to recreate this moment as the meme this child must have seen in his head

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like the most politically neutered movie of all time unironically

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Love seeing something from TikTok and going “girlie that is literally what led to the downfall of the Papal States”

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Shopping after COVID makes me irrationally angry and anxious

Get the fuck away, stop standing in the middle of the isles and stop bumping your bodies, family members and carts up on me when I'm allowed to fucking shop too

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I never did get to show her…

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you ever wake up from a dream amd immediately think "well that was a bit heavyhanded"

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when the function got a high achieving deranged little magic freak who will commit acts of sorcery that undermine every ethical framework and interest of self-preservation in order to sort-of-resurrect their lesbian situationship

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guy that can shoot bullets out of his pussy call that a revulva

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I find it kind of stupid how 'half full' vs 'half empty' is framed as an optimist/pessimist thing. If it starts full and gets halfway drained, it's half empty. If it starts empty and gets halfway filled, it's half full. If you don't know the starting state it's both simultaneously.

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“ooh garlic salt isn’t real” yeah well neither is your MARRIAGE after i’m done FUCKING YOUR HUSBAND and afterwards he eats my delicious cooking that i seasoned with GARLIC SALT. FUCK YOU

i think. you sent this to the wrong person. but im enamoured with your energy. you can have my metaphorical husband you deserve her