antarcticadown - Tumblr blog

[antarcticadown]

all you need to know about me: I have now spent a full 20 minutes losing my mind about gibbs saying ‘chapsnats’ on ncis.

[antarcticadown]

my cats are the bane of my productivity... I decided I was going to watch a single episode of ncis to decompress after work, but now my cat has taken over my lap and I can't do anything...

[antarcticadown]

IN THE ASHES ,

a sentence starter prompts list comprised of quotes from the novel an ember in the ashes by sabaa tahir. please be advised that this list may involve topics including, but not limited to, murder, death, and violence. change verbiage as needed.

why do keep disappearing when i need you?

i wasn't spying.

what you saw is dangerous. you can't tell anyone about it. not ever.

keep your secrets close, love.

i'm not working for them.

don't be afraid [name], i won't let anything happen to you.

what are you doing down here?

much as i hate to admit it, you're not usually wrong.

the field of battle is my temple.

the dance of death is my prayer.

the killing blow is my release.

aren't you a pretty one.

who trained you?

keep it safe for me just until i come back.

unless you're stupider than you look, even you can see how this appears.

you worked hard. you did everything right.

go, [name]. go get some air. i'll handle this.

the ghosts of our misdeeds seek vengeance, but the cost will be high.

you are an ember in the ashes, [name]. you will spark and burn, ravage and destroy. you cannot change it. you cannot stop it.

we don't abandon our own!

who do you want me to spy on?

shadows will bloom in your heart and you will become everything you hate.

so my choices are either to stay and be evil or run and be evil. wonderful.

they always underestimate me.

this isn't a mission for the fainthearted.

go away. you're not real.

you're distracted when you can ill afford to be.

if you want to win this, you need to wake up.

i've already wasted too much time cleaning up your messes.

lay low. don't risk spying until you're certain you won't get caught.

fail me again, and we're done.

these are my friends, my family. people i know. i wouldn't hurt them.

how do i make it stop? i have to make it stop.

until you conquer your fear, the dead will remain with you.

i won't kill you. i swear it. by blood and bone, i swear it.

you're going to be fine. i'm going to fix you right up.

fight, [name]. you have to fight. you have to win.

death before tyranny.

if what you say is true, then the balance is upset, and we must restore it.

you look terrible. come into the shade.

you really should run. you’re just going to die.

wait, you idiot! it might be a trap!

i won’t let you fall, i promise.

i want you to know that i think what you’re doing is brave. really brave.

it’s not a stupid idea, just dangerous. i don’t want you getting hurt.

you’re trying to sneak out.

i wouldn’t have traded this for anything.

i live with my sins everyday. i live with the guilt.

i’ve never asked you for anything. i’m asking you now.

you think i can’t defend myself? you think i need bodyguards?

i’ve been distracted worrying about you.

i’ll kill him for this.

don’t talk. just keep quiet and… let me think.

you’re in love with me! but i'm not in love with you, and you hate me for it. you’ve let that ruin our friendship.

i could never be in love with you.

you have no idea what I’ve given up for you, the deal i made. 

who did this?

look at you–look what they’ve done to you.

you don’t have to be brave.

do you have what i want?

i have something, but i need more time.

if you have nothing, then this mission is a failure.

don’t have time for that. I’ve got other things on my mind.

if i wanted to hurt you, i’d already have done it.

as long as there is life, there is hope.

either way, you’d have blamed yourself.

either way, people you cared about would have suffered.

i should have stayed, even if it meant dying.

they won’t let you have compassion or kindness. they won’t let you have a soul.

my soul’s gone. I killed it dead on that battlefield.

there are two kinds of guilt. the kind that’s a burden and the kind that gives you purpose. 

you have a soul. it’s damaged, but it’s there. don’t let them take it from you.

you don’t need to be so cat-footed. i’m not armed.

you’re surprised? you’re naïve, is what you are. you’re a fool.

you’re sick. don’t you have any regret? any remorse?

i’ll celebrate them. i’ll mourn them. but i won’t regret what i did. i did it for the empire. i did it for my people.

don’t make vows when you can’t know their cost.

i crossed a line, and i won’t cross it again.

do you know what i do to spies?

be strong. if you don’t win this, everything is lost.

i will be your blood shrike, your second-in-command, the sword that executes at your will, until death. i swear it.

in the night, your loneliness crushes you, as if the sky itself has swooped down to smother you in its cold arms.

there is nothing of me that is worth anything.

tell me, or i slit your throat here and now.

you’ll pay for this. i swear it to the skies, to the stars. you’ll pay.

just because he’s a good leader doesn’t mean he’s a good person. he lied to you.

for the first time since i can remember, i don’t feel alone. because of you.

i can’t–i can’t stop thinking about you. i’ve tried not to. i tried to push you out.

i’ll take care of everything. i promise.

the moment i knew you existed, i hated you.

if i feel regret, it’s that i wasn’t willing to die sooner.

i’d rather die than live with no mercy, no honor, no soul.

fear is only your enemy if you allow it to be.

too much fear an you’re paralyzed. too little fear and you’re arrogant.

i’ll watch your back if you watch mine. we can make it if we stick together.

[antarcticadown]

⤷ ✧ @yes7erdays said, ❝ we are on the verge of completing a quest that began almost two thousand years ago. ❞

the grandiose interpretation of their situation — one he finds far more satisfying than he'd willingly admit — earns a laugh. ❛ y'know, this is where I should probably say don't count your chickens until they're hatched. ❜ or some other such cautionary proverb ( his childhood had left him with a wealth of options to pick from ). after all, someone ought to be the voice of reason, but it is a role that cam is distinctly unsuited to play.

❛ if you're suggestin' that rest is for the weak and we oughtta push on through, I don't need to be persuaded. ❜ his back might. cam thinks that if he sits down, even for a moment, that'll be the end of everything. even now, he leans against a wall rather than taking a seat. he refuses to let a little pain hold him back.

[antarcticadown]

redid my header and blog's color scheme whoops...

[antarcticadown]

⤷ ✧ @whatspoilers said, ❝ you’re going the wrong way. ❞

though cam stops, head tipping upward in a moment of exasperation, and though he turns, he does not immediately trace back his own steps. ❛ what makes you think I'm not goin' exactly the way I mean to? ❜ it is, perhaps, one of the few things he'd lay claim to being good at. call it a pilot's instinct or the product of days off spent picking a direction and just going, but cam's sense of direction, while not infallible, usually proved reliable.

still, for all his irritation, all his suspicion, he waits for an answer, does not plow on in blind trust in his own abilities. he would never have gotten where he is without heeding the wisdom of those far more intelligent and far more capable than he.

[antarcticadown]

cam's playlist: the push is always a part of us and gravity's never a friend

meanwhile, his daughter's playlist: gravity's a beautiful thing

[antarcticadown]

⤷ ✧ @fyrewalks said, ❝ those people are trying to kill us. ❞

cam's laughter is short, both breathless and wry. ❛ yeah, I got that. ❜ scarcely a second passes before he adds, ❛ now. ❜ because admittedly, up until a few minutes before, he would have dismissed the observation as preposterous in the extreme. getting shot at does rather take the ambiguity out of a situation, and cam's never one to hesitate when it comes to fessing up to his own, inevitable errors.

❛ I've got a better question: why? I swear I've done absolutely nothing that'd make anyone wanna kill me. ❜ cam regrets the words as soon as they're uttered, for he's not nearly as certain as he'd like to be. there's always the vague possibility he's done something without realizing it. this time, his addition comes grudgingly: ❛ not that I'm aware of, at any rate. ❜

[antarcticadown]

writing una, along with several of my other muses: casually removing contractions before posting a reply

writing cam: casually adding every single contraction I can, and then some, before posting.

[antarcticadown]

hey what if i kept trying anyway because it’s my life and only i get to decide what to do with it

[antarcticadown]

did no writing, but blog is equipped with a new url and a new everything to match! I have some extensive work to do to salvage my icon situation, but that will be a project for this week.

[antarcticadown]

#antarcticadown.  independent & selective.  adapted for various universes & adored by katya ( she/her,  30+ ).  formerly #duefaith. —  carrd  |  memes  |  thread tracker  — a study in  ::  faith as due north, in holding up the world on one's shoulders, in reverence, and in moving mountains through willpower alone.

[antarcticadown]

90% chance I'm swapping out my url when I get home from work today...

[antarcticadown]

gremlin brain says use antarcticadown as cam's main url instead.

do I keep cam's super old url or swap it out for his top secret aesthetic sideblog url, revercnt?

[antarcticadown]

⤷ ✧ @nursc said, ❝ i can borrow a dog whenever i want. ❞

so could he, technically, though it would require travel to earth and back, and thus posed a distinctly inefficient solution... in this moment, however, what mattered was less the availability of a dog and more the fact that a dog had been part of her proposed plan to begin with. ❛ yeah, believe it or not? that wasn't my problem. just how's a dog supposed to help fix this? ❜ cameron has a hunch that were his own source of potential borrowed dogs present, casey would insist that a dog could fix anything, but never mind that.

though, now that she mentions it, he does want to know just where she's planning on getting a dog at this particular moment. it's all he can do to refrain and stay focused.

[antarcticadown]

do I keep cam's super old url or swap it out for his top secret aesthetic sideblog url, revercnt?

[antarcticadown]

I think daniel is canonically older and of course has been part of the stargate program for eight years longer ( minus, y'know, dying and all that ) and yet somehow cam has the big brother vibes in their friendship and I refuse to be told I'm wrong.