anothertraumablog

[anothertraumablog]

I've proven myself, haven't I?

[anothertraumablog]

Cluster B culture is never quite shaking that burst of surprise whenever someone is genuinely nice to you.

.

[anothertraumablog]

[anothertraumablog]

but i did // 2.13.2017

[anothertraumablog]

[anothertraumablog]

[anothertraumablog]

they should invent a way to save your mother

[anothertraumablog]

11/3/21

[anothertraumablog]

i am both the predator and the prey

[anothertraumablog]

“would you rather be in a forest with a bear or a man?” a bear won’t rape my dead body. a bear won’t seek me out knowing he wants to over power me. a bear won’t brutally murder me and then post my dead body on social media. a bear won’t go out of his way to harm me without probable cause. a bear would rather be alone than in a forest with a man

[anothertraumablog]

[anothertraumablog]

thinking about how when you experience a lot of shame in your formative years (indirectly, directly, as abuse or just as an extant part of your environment) it becomes really difficult to be perceived by other people in general. the mere concept of someone watching me do anything, whether it's a totally normal activity or something unfamiliar of embarrassing, whether I'm working in an excel spreadsheet or being horny on main, it just makes my skin crawl and my brain turn to static because I cannot convince myself that it's okay to be seen and experienced. because to exist is to be ashamed and embarrassed of myself, whether I'm failing at something or not, because my instinctive reaction to anyone commenting on ANYTHING I'm doing is to crawl into a hole and die. it's such a bizarre and dehumanizing feeling to just not be able to exist without constantly thinking about how you are being Perceived. ceaseless watcher give me a god damn break.

[anothertraumablog]

will i always be this angry?

[anothertraumablog]

“delululu” “what a narcissist” “i’m so ocd” “i let my intrusive thoughts win” “im an empath” “are you acoustic” “bpd girls 😍” “im so manic” “my trauma made me spicy and funny”

[anothertraumablog]

[anothertraumablog]

time to play my favorite game: am i In A Mood or am i Not Me?

[anothertraumablog]

Me: damn this situation I'm in sure isn't ideal, what am I gonna do about this

Suicidal Ideation Man who lives in my brain: perhaps I have a suggestion ☝️🤓