anonandlost-blog

[anonandlost-blog]

To whoever loves her next

To whoever loves her next,

I hope you see the beauty that I saw. I hope you treat her like she deserves to be treated, because in the end I couldn’t.. Just some things you need to know about her. She’s stubborn, in every single way. She will shut you out at first, but be patient with her because she will open up. She’s been through a lot, and there is a lot of pain built up. But she will never show you that. She will put on a strong face. But she’s fragile. Just be patient, she will come around in time. She will do everything in the world for you. From making a bed in the middle of the living room to watch movies, to sleeping uncomfortably just because you’re comfortable. Her favorite place to go eat will always be chick-fil-a (a number one with extra pickles, fries, and a sweet tea), her favorite ice cream is just a plain vanilla. She will argue all day about Tennessee being the promise land and the Vols being the best. If you have a date night in, odds are she will make chocolate chip cookies. Her smile can brighten up an entire room, and it always made my heart melt. Those brown eyes will look at you with so much love in them and it will change the way you see brown eyes forever. She will talk about softball all day if you let her, and if games are on odds are she will be watching them on her phone. Don’t try to change that because it probably won’t work. Her most prized possession is her Jeep, Jolene. She will probably argue if you try to pay for anything, but she will come around. If she goes out for drinks odds are its either an Angry Orchard or she will make a Washington Apple at home. Her laugh is like music, that I could listen to forever and never get tired of. I always made fun of her accent being thicker than mine, but it was the best thing I got to listen to every night. Let her be herself though, she’s goofy and a hot mess but you’ll never regret it.  She will love you harder than you’ve ever been loved before. You’ll fall in love with her and you’ll never fall out. I hate that things had to end this way between us. I am still in love with that girl and I always will be. But, I guess either things weren’t meant to be or things just weren’t meant to be right now. But if someone comes along after me, and she lets you in.. then please just treat her right and make her happy. That’s all I ever want for her. To whoever loves her next, don’t give up. She’s worth it. I promise.

[anonandlost-blog]

Dear Simon,

Dear Simon,

I’m a lot like you in many ways. I have bachelor’s degree in criminal justice and psychology, and I am enrolled in law school. I’m a normal 22 year old girl who is just trying to be successful in life like everyone else while having friends and traveling as much as possible. Just one thing bothers me though....those closest to me don’t know/accept that I'm gay. For the longest time I tried to hide it from myself too. I would tell myself that it was just a phase or that I would end up with a man who I would finally be fully attracted to and never have to worry about coming out. I told myself the latter up until this year when someone asked me why I enjoyed being intimate with a mane and well.... I didn’t. The mere though of it grossed me out but I thought that was normal and I just needed to do it anyway. I thought eventually I would find someone I enjoyed it with but it was never the same way I felt or thought about women. I finally started to come out to my best friend around sophomore year but family was another story. I come from a very religious family, southern baptist to be exact. My grandparents go to church three times a week and both are heavily involved within the church. I was forced to go to church most of my life but as I grew older I realized how hypocritical they could be. My family always made snide comment referencing the LGBTQ community which made me terrified to tell them. I actually just told my mom a few months ago who told me that it was “just a phase”. 

I know “Love, Simon” is just a movie but I also know how many “Simons” there are in the communities around me. I really don’t expect anyone to ever read this blog but I left it anonymous because this is going to be my spot to throw all of my thoughts out there. But, if for some reason someone does ever read this and relates... just know you are not alone. I am still going through it too. 

I realize I can’t live my life like this forever and eventually all of this will have to surface but it’s going to take time and the right kind of support.

If someone just happens to read this that is going through this too know I’ll be here for support.