anniepilchard

[anniepilchard]

面台会食

We arrived at Kyoto by the super fast bullet train passing wonderful views of mount Fuji on the way albeit blink and you’d miss it.

We’d booked a hotel a few minutes from the train station so as not to have to walk with our luggage too far. After 10 minutes of walking and several comments as to the the accuracy of Expedia’s description of “a couple of minutes walk” we found the hotel. Unfortunately it wasn’t our hotel, google maps had let me down again, as it seems to so often. We are still not really getting the hang of Japan. Once we had arrived at the correct hotel Dawn stood for 5 minutes waiting at a disabled toilet door thinking it was a lift. I have put bleach in my eyes after buying some kind of contact lens solution that I really needed to read the instructions and dawn nearly bought Imodium for paracetamol. Japan really needs to learn English, get in the 21st century and stop using little pictures of houses to communicate. It’s dangerous!

Exploring Kyoto was something I had looked forward to, it was the imperial capital of japan for a thousand years and so has Shinto shrines and Buddhist temples galore, is also the home of lots of geishas and to 1.5 million Japanese who seemed to all be out on the day we visited. Having done enough walking in Tokyo we decided to hire bikes in Kyoto, I had a clear plan of where we would visit including Nijo castle, Geisha town, the infamous philosophers path with the cherry blossoms in bloom and various shrines in between. What actually happened was we got lost, tried to bike up the busiest street in Japan, had a row and were about 2 weeks too early for cherry blossoms. In between shouting at each other we did seem to cover the major sites or at least we think we’d did as there’s no English anywhere.

Having visited the temple (purely by accident) where the Last Samurai was filmed we decided to watch the film which includes 0 historical facts but we could say “been there” at various points. Surprisingly and somewhat disappointingly 2018 Japan doesn’t feature a great deal of Samurai or Karate kids or Geisha although you can pay to dress up for a day but Dawn was reluctant. The following day the weather had turned cold and wet, after visiting the castle (not so much of a castle and more of an empty house) rescheduled from the previous day we decided to go to the cinema in the warm. They were showing the Greatest Showman in English with Japanese subtitles so we went for it. The Japanese think everything is rude, this apparently extends to leaving a film before the last credit is shown. We sat for a good ten minutes in silence until the lights went up and the film stopped rolling. We then left the auditorium in silence only broken by me giggling like you do when you are supposed to be quiet. Osaka is just down the road from Kyoto, famous for featuring on superdry t shirts, street food and as Dawn had read, retro video games from the 80’s, so we went there. Our first food tasting from a street vendor was Takoyaki, which looked like batter balls with a choice of toppings. Dawn chose salt and pepper and mayonnaise (??). Had we paid more attention we may have noticed the content of said balls prior to dawn spitting one out. Octopus. Bin.

Dawn played pac man for a while we ate more dirty street food, I had a beer and returned to Kyoto. Our next destination was Hiroshima, obviously famous for being flattened in seconds by an atomic bomb in 1945 along with 150,000 people. The a-bomb museum was sobering and shocking, Dawn was clearly affected by the experience and joined a peace protest involving her being photographed holding a picture of a dove. She is now probably on a political activist black list after signing something indecipherable in the process.

Next on our food list was okonomiyaki a Hiroshima speciality, I won’t lie japan has become a food tour for us now with the odd temple thrown to appease our conscience and the lonely planet guide book. Today’s delight was made by two Japanese ladies on a huge hot plate and featured batter, noodles, seaweed, pork and egg, topped with a sticky sauce and washed down with a now obligatory beer by me.

After a crappy rain day and a quick trip to Miyajima island, this time to see a “floating” shrine, we headed into the Kiso valley to walk in the path of the Samurai on the Nakesendo trail, the old road from Tokyo to Kyoto. We started at an old postal town of Magome and would walk 8k to Tsumago. On the walk we were invited in to share some green tea with Mr Miyagi and enjoyed a pork bun thing and more tea with Mr Miyagi mk 2. Despite being warned to be “bear aware” on the trail I was disappointed not to see one but not really surprised as Dawn rung every bear bell so loudly the bears in Canada probably heard it. 

We tried to check in at yet another wrong hotel and after getting lost trying to find another one, 3 months into our trip Dawn has now demanded she take over navigation responsibilities - 5 days before we go home. Nob. She did however navigate us to a beautiful park featuring some much awaited cherry blossom which finished our amazing Japanese experience perfectly.

And so two white, non-religious, females in a same sex relationship leave Japan. Where could we possibly go - Dubai of course, where else? We had ummed and ahhed about stopping in Dubai as it probably represents everything we consider wrong in the world, that added to the fact we could get arrested and deported made us quite apprehensive. However, the allure of 4 days in the sunshine got the better of our principles. We haven’t ventured far from our very western Sheraton hotel though, only as far as the Burj Khalifa and Nando’s. For the rest of the time before our flight home we have sat by the pool reminiscing on favourite parts of our trip and debating where our next one will be...........

[anniepilchard]

Konnichiwa!

Blimey where do I start! We landed late evening at Tokyo airport slightly concerned about our ability to navigate this non English speaking country. Thankfully the Japanese are very efficient in their transport system and we managed to find a bus with our hotel name on it in English that whisked us to our hotel in a matter of minutes. It seems every piece of electrical equipment talks to you sometimes in English. I will have a good relationship with lifts before I leave. After an early night we were ready to catch a domestic flight up to Hokkaido, the north island of japan and then a bus onto Niseko ski area. Unfortunately the Beast from the East was also blowing west and our destination airport was suffering with heavy snow, blizzard conditions and 120 mph winds - our flight was delayed. Not cancelled, delayed. For some reason Vanilla Air confidence was high enough to believe that a 3 hour delay would be enough, or at least they would “give it a go” but “we may have to turn back if we couldn’t land” (!!!) This delay impacted our travel plans as we would miss the bus that would take us to Niseko, we would have to take the train. Dawn clearly didn’t have as much confidence as Vanilla Air had as she said let’s get the flight done first before we figure out the trains - I’m not entirely sure if she thought we were going to die. We didn’t and the plane landed on a very very snowy runway. Being in Japan there was no clapping for the pilot or public celebration even though he deserved it.

We got on a train after a serious amount of pointing at my iPad to the man at the train station ticket office. We had 2 tickets to a destination that looked like this 倶知安町 So that was where we were going. Japanese people don’t talk on trains. It’s a cultural taboo. In fact I don’t think they talk at all unless they have to. This is one of the reasons why they all wear surgical masks not for hygiene reasons but so they don’t have to talk to you. So it was my iPhone that told me we were travelling in the right direction, we managed to change trains, run to catch the next one and get to 倶知安町. As it turns out 倶知安町 isn’t where we needed to be. We were still 10km away. A man was stood at the train entrance with a sign on it saying Chalet ivy (our hotel) and chang-Mei (presumably his customer) Dawn waved at him and suggested we were the Chang-Mei family. The driver looked confused at our white English look but thankfully gave us a lift anyway. Food is random here I could write a whole blog on it - curry bread (donut filled with curry) breaded pork fillet on beef curry, egg on everything raw or nearly raw, fish reproductive parts or innards for breakfast (I mean how do you even catch salmon sperm), chicken and pork offal (tail, cartilage, gizzards as well as traditional heart, feet, liver) it’s really mad. Before I came here someone (James) told me “it’s ok they have pictures of everything” which is fine if you recognise what’s in the pictures. I truly believe we ate cows intestines the other day.

The Snowboarding here was amazing, we had a great time in the powder fields and on slopes that seem to have no boundaries, the only downside to all that powder is horrendous weather conditions. We were perplexed by our room with a view description until after 3 days, when the clouds cleared for a moment, we realised we looked out on mt Yōtei. Our hotel was very posh for us it even had a private Onsen which are Japanese hot springs. We decided to give it a go even though it requires you to go in naked. Bit embarrassing especially when they are that hot it’s impossible to sit in for more than two seconds. The experience made me feel sick and dizzy and made my skin wrinkly. Dawn completed a week in Japan without too many faux pas, exporting only her tradition of falling off a chair lift and stopping the whole system into Japan. Being in Japan no one said anything just bowed.

We managed to navigate back to Tokyo without any issues and found our Airbnb in the Shinjuku area of Japan which is quite amazing considering...

We had a good walk around Shinjuku and apparently it’s red light district. It’s very hard to make sense of any words or pictures on the shop frontage or menus, at times we were unsure whether we would get a latte or a prostitute. Shinjuku is also home to Memory lane or piss alley as it’s known, where I took Dawn for tea one night. It specialises in yakatouri which are bbq’d skewers of meat (only some offal) and very nice. we mingled with the locals one of whom tried to talk to us. I engaged in a quick chat, confident after our jug of sake, using the 2 Japanese words I know, hello and thank you. (I actually know 3 words but “doors closing” is not very conversational)

Pic: Piss Alley with random posing lady

Next we visited the Shibuya and the famous crossing where by the whole of Japan cross a road at the same time when the man turns green. It’s insane as are many things here. We’ve seen cars that drive themselves, robot pet dogs, restaurants where robots serve you; An addiction to anime and manga, devoting a whole district to thousands of shops selling animated everything; An addiction to Pachinko, a pinball type game where because gambling for money is illegal adults win thousands of tiny balls that they can exchange for a giant snoopy. And yet with all this, to use my train pass I have to wear a huge paper pass around my neck and ask a guard to let me through the gate ! 😂😂

Pic: Akihabara, Tokyo- devoted to anime and manga

In all the madness of Tokyo it’s easy to forget that this is a country rich in culture and history. We decided to take a day trip out of city to the ancient city of Nikko a world heritage site. We caught our first bullet train there, which Dawn was very excited about much more so than the promise of seeing some ancient Buddhist temples and shrines despite my best sales pitch. I think the only thing that spoilt her trip was the amount of Japanese men sniffing up on the train. In japan it’s deemed rude to sneeze or blow your nose in public but perfectly acceptable to have a good snot up extremely loudly. I think the bigger the piece of snot you can get the more wealth you have. It’s disgusting and prompted Dawn to learn her first Japanese word - fuketsu (yuk)

Anyway late as usual we arrived at Nikko at 2pm. The lack of English commentary anywhere caused us to accidentally pay to enter a shrine under re-construction so all we saw was a few buddhas and some roped off scaffolding. Refusing to pay for any more we went for a walk up to some waterfalls a mile away and found our very own temple site (obviously we didn’t actually discover it but It was off the grid and we were the only ones there) We put into practice our researched bowing ritual at each shrine and prayed for health and prosperity for all our loved ones (to, it seems in hindsight the goddess of wind and rain but the thought was there) I told dawn not to touch the child birth sacred stone for gods sake.

And so we leave Tokyo by bullet train for the city of Kyoto and hopefully a few less people, a few more shrines but probably more offal.

[anniepilchard]

NZ Part 2

The lord giveth and the lord taketh away.... The creation of NZ was probably not much to do with the lord and more to do with tectonic plates pushing together millions of years ago forming a “new” country. It really is beautiful, each coastline holding a different wow factor. “And the lord taketh away” by creating Namu or Sandflies as we mortals know them. Maori legend has it that the god hoobey -doobey made Namu to stop mankind lingering at the wonders he created. Whoever was to blame the reality of the sandfly is this. They are little black flies that with pincers on their heads that burrow into your flesh, rip it apart and drink the pool of blood created. They do all this in a millisecond, by the time you feel pain it’s done. They are everywhere. Especially on my feet, ankles, wrists, elbows and where ever a vein maybe exposed. The deserted beaches of NZ are so because no-one can actually go to the beach without being eaten alive, so god hoogey Dooby did a good job. This is my new NZ beach attire.

Not to be put off we travelled to the Abel Tasman National Park (sandfly pop. 40 billion) south entrance to do our planned kayak guided trip through the calm waters, visiting seal inhabited islands and white sand inlet beaches on the way. We’ve kayaked in quite a few places now, we go in a double kayak, me in the front Dawn in the back, I seem to have excelled at it. We appear to travel really fast gliding through the water. For me it’s effortless, I can even take a few photos on the way. Dawn however, bless her seems to find kayaking tough. She has blisters on her hands and sore aching muscles. I try to give her guidance but I really just don’t understand it. 😂😂

The Abel Tasman walking track goes 70km all the way up the coast to the northern entrance of Toturanui (sandfly pop 100 billion) The walking tracks are more accessible there so I convinced Dawn we would do the 2 hour drive to the “scenic” camp site and stay for a few days. What I didn’t tell her was that the last 10km was on a gravel road exposed to landslides and clearly contrary to our campervan hire agreement. Dawn is a good driver, I kept telling her this to flatter her ego so she would talk to me again. Needless to say it was a long 10k The prize at the end of it was a campsite situated on a deserted golden beach with a clear blue sea lapping gently at the waters edge. The description of “scenic” also translates to minimal facilities and cold showers from rain water. This was us freedom camping at one with nature; Sandflies, weird chicken-birds and god knows what else. We completed another 15k tramp through untouched rainforest and across postcard picture beaches before getting the hell out. We were bitten, scuzzy from not showering and tired from a sleepless night after the call of the wild called all bloody night. Dawn says I am at one with nature as long as it’s on my 50 inch TV watching from the comfort of the sofa, I think I agree, so we decide to leave it all behind and head for the higher colder climates of glacier country. The road however is long, and indeed winding,  6hrs later we had only reached Hokitika on the west coast. Taking advice from Lonely Planet and Jackie we decided we would treat ourselves to fresh fish and chips, eat them out on the spit and watch the sunset over the sea. The sun was hard to find through the driving rain, the fish was from the “wrong chippy” but we persevered and toasted our halfway holiday point with a bottle of beer (me) and dawn had some weird pip and seed, grape and apple combo that she seemed to like. In the morning the storm had passed, we headed to Hokitika Gorge for a stroll before the drive up to Franz Joseph Glacier. On the way Dawn sampled a West Coast traditional delight - whitebait fritters.

We arrived at Rainforest camp early afternoon and decided to hike up to the glacier before the bad weather set in. Entirely the fault of the scaleless map and obviously not mine, we walked 5k before we reached the car park at the start of the glacier walk which was another 1.5hr round trip. But not to worry the glacier was well worth it (note sarcasm - see photo)

Dawn refused to walk any further and forced me to ask numerous tourists whether there was a shuttle bus back to town, we eventually caught one with 2 over zealous glacier intrigued Americans that asked the driver every possible question thinkable about the glacier in the 15min journey, ”who was Franz Josef”, “when did he discover the glacier” “how much does it move every year” blah blah blah. On getting off the bus Dawn asked the driver the most poignant question of the day “where is the best pizza in town?” Answer; Blue Ice Cafe - Friday night half price special - bonus! We’d heard cyclone Gita was coming and it rained all night and all morning forcing us back down to sea level and onwards to Wanaka. The drive there added to our wow moments clear blue lake after lake at the foot of imposing mountains. On reaching Wanaka the only campsite left was one situated right on the lake, it was beautiful and not a sandfly in sight. Dawn was inspired by the drive in and proclaimed she wanted to climb a mountain so I found one. Roy’s Peak was a mere 1587m high 5-6 hour round trip - we were on it!

The day of the hike the sun was shining and the van was broken.  A strange metal on metal scraping noise was coming from the wheels. Dawn didn’t seem phased that we were in the middle of nowhere and said it could wait til we came back. Unsurprising when we eventually returned exhausted from our hike, unable to walk another step the van was still broken, our call to the AA lasted only as long as my mobile “capped minutes” let it, we were stuck. Dawns motto “it’ll be right” and our inability to walk any further resulted in her driving on through a burning smell until the noise stopped. Dawn then tested the brakes on a piece of road called “the Devil’s staircase” which we somehow survived despite Dawn thinking the brakes still weren’t “quite right” We briefly stopped at Queenstown where it appeared everyone in NZ had been hiding including half of the population of Japan who are obsessed with taking photos of themselves and seagulls. Dawn says she had better not see a frigging seagull in Japan with all the fuss they making. I think she was tipped over the edge when, whilst admiring a mountain view she was asked to move as she was in the way of a selfie. We headed onto Milford Sound, the last of our sight seeing biggies, it didn’t disappoint. We drove through valleys carved out of massive granite mountains by glaciers before arriving at the sound its self. We have never seen anything like it, no wonder so many films use the area as their sets. It was however very busy, so we decided after camping the night to set off early in the morning to get a car park space ready for our boat trip across the sound. Late as usual, Dawn said it’ll be fine, we couldn’t find a space, ended up parking miles away and had to run to catch the boat. Dawn said it was good planning, I told her she was an arse. Once on the boat it was a fantastic trip, dolphins joined us much of the way playing in the wake at the back of the boat, seals bathed in the sun on the rocks, waterfalls cascaded down from the glaciers above into the bay and we even saw gold crested penguins fishing off the shore.  All my much awaited wildlife spotting done in one hit. Perfect.

And so we leave New Zealand slightly itchier than when we arrived but having had an amazing time. We are looking forward to a bed, showering without wearing flip flops and being able to have a drink after 8pm cos we can wee when we want. Dawn will need to get over being offended by the Japanese as we are about to join 130 million of them.

[anniepilchard]

New Zealand

We arrived in Christchurch from Melbourne after a straightforward 3 hour flight. We spent the first night in a pod hotel room with a bed and shower in the corner of the room. I commented I couldn’t stay in such a small space for very long and dawn reminded me we were about to spend 3 weeks in a campervan. The first thing I noted about the City of Christchurch is there’s not much left of it after the 2011 earthquake. The second thing to note, which applies to the whole of New Zealand South Island is there are no people -  anywhere. A city seems to be defined by having more than one street and a botanical gardens, So getting around by foot was easy, we went on the iconic city tram paying $25 each and got off too early missing about $10 worth.

We sunbathed in the botanical gardens by the river where Dawn developed a new found interest in trees. Admittedly NZ has some of the biggest trees I’ve ever seen, but Dawn climbing on one to give the branch a hug was a bit extreme. She quickly abandoned her tree hugging inner being when she fell off and grazed her arm much to the amusement of some passers by and me.

We ate in some interesting places, as the locals have set up containers where the buildings used to be and filled them with shops and eateries. It’s quite a cool place. Christchurch actually gets thousands of earthquakes every year, we had over 20 in the short time we were there, but I was safe in the knowledge that Dawn had memorised her “if it rumbles long, head for high ground” motto. After our stay in Christchurch we picked up our campervan, home for the next 3 weeks. We had upgraded from the one we had in Australia last time we travelled. This one was a high top with a kitchen area that had a microwave, fridge and hob. Furthermore Dawn could stand up in it, being vertically challenged I could stand up in the last one. This time with more room we would be more organised, or as it happens Dawn would buy more shit to fill the empty spaces. Life is still a challenge. In Dawns mind everything has its place. Food goes on “top”, condiments and utility items in “the box”, clothes “underneath” and bedding in “the back”. I get confused, the worktop isn’t the “top” the “back” to me is the front, and the underneath is the upside down. Then Dawn shouts at me.

After adjusting to our new home we begin to explore; Dawn drives, I navigate. NZ is either mountains or coast, there is no in between. We first travel to Hanmer Springs in the mountains. It may not be surprising to know Hanmer Springs has natural hot water springs which are believed to have natural healing properties. For the last year Dawn has been complaining of pain in her feet hips and back so we thought a visit may help. We were instructed to submerge the whole body but not the head in the 40 degree pools. Sulphur pools, mineral rock pools, hydro pools, we tried them all but none were so successful than the fresh water pool that did allow Dawn to submerge her head so I couldn't hear her moaning about her ailments. 😂😂😂 Freshly mineralised and full of mountain air we headed back down to sea level to Kaikoura. Marine capital of New Zealand. Here we could view sperm whales, humpback whales, swim with dolphins and play with seals, so we went for a walk. We did find a seal colony that allowed us to get close up and personal with basking seals. I remembered my seal research advised not to get between them and the sea as they may attack. Dawn pointed out this was unnecessary as the seal I was circling was actually dead. Kaikoura is beautiful, from our walk along the peninsula coastal path we had great views of the whole bay, every corner turned is a wow moment. We love it here.

That night we treated ourselves to a marine feast - a huge seafood platter and a locally caught crayfish and felt happy we had appreciated the area.

The next day we set off again north to the Queen Charlotte Sound. On the way we stopped at a deserted beach to take in some of the amazing scenery and ponder the sense of inferiority you really do get from the vastness of this place. We sat and watched the waves crash over the beach contemplating life. And almost fatefully, there written in white pebbles contrast against the black rock sand someone had formulated the word “c*nt”.  Unbelievable. I rearranged the pebbles to spell Dawn, we took some obligatory selfies and hit the road again.

We arrived at the port of Picton in time for lunch. We parked up on the dock of the bay for dawn to cook us a frittata (that was meant to be omelette) and beans. Tomorrow we would walk 15km of the Queen Charlotte track one of the great NZ walks. Dawn was so excited. We got up far too early to catch a boat from Picton across the Queen Charlotte sound to Ships Cove where captain Cook landed in 18 something -or- other and we would begin our tramp. The weather was perfect, the water looked like a sheet of ice and the sky was a perfect blue. At ships cove we thought we would grab a coffee and a bacon butty but were somewhat disappointed to find a Cook monument and a hole in the ground for the loo. We have definitely spent too much time in America to expect such things. The QC track was basically untouched, we climbed up through ancient forests for incredible views of the bay and descended down to to inlet coves and crystal clear waters. We completed the 15km in 4 hrs and ended at Furneaux lodge to catch our boat back. Thankfully the lodge had lager, ice cream and a toilet with a flush.

I sit and write this blog from the city of Nelson sat in the campervan where we have been confined all day due to the longest thunderstorm ever. The rain has not stopped and the streets have cracked from the water beneath them. We are an hour away from the Abel Tasman national park where the sunshine awaits us when the storm has passed.

[anniepilchard]

Melbourne and the Australian Open

The flight from Singapore to Melbourne was another long one, I stupidly thought if I booked a night flight we could sleep all the way there and wouldn’t need in flight entertainment both of which amounted to a cheap flight. We actually managed to grab 1 hour of sleep and I had to listen to Dawn rambling from the effects of both jet lag and now sleep deprivation. She first told me she felt like she was travelling forward really fast (strange that) and secondly that she wasn’t sure which was her left ear. I nodded and let both go without comment.

We landed at 11am Melbourne time - perfect to catch a bus to St Kilda and check in to our Airbnb apartment by the beach.

4 hrs later in the pouring rain we arrived, tempers were frayed everything looked shit and St Kilda could have been Blackpool.

After a good nights sleep and in a bit of sunshine St Kilda is actually quite nice. We did our initial scouting to find points of interest; these consisted of the supermarket, the bus stop and the beach. 

We reminded ourselves that Australia is quite expensive for us visitors, beer is $10 a pint, ice-cream is $5 and a bag of lettuce is $3, needless to say we won’t be eating much salad.

THe reason we came to Melbourne was solely for the tennis at the Australian Open (AO). It didn’t disappoint. 

The first day was all about who was wearing what, Nadal had his biceps on show in his sleeveless top, all other Nike wearers looked like liquorice all sorts, and why on earth Dawn wore a thick long sleeved shirt in 95 degrees nobody knew.

Dawn was also wearing a 2014 US Open cap despite me offering to buy her a new AO 2018 one. Her refusal wasn’t based on the $35 price tag but the fact she thought she may of been mistaken for working in Appliance Online.

We saw most of the top seeds with our 3 day grounds pass, Nick Kyrgios, Marin Cilic, Caroline Wozniacki, Angie Kerber, Jo Konta (lost) Rafa Nadal and of course we had to see a Murray (Jamie) in the doubles. 

It was ace although much of it felt like an endurance test as it was so hot.

Melbourne weather is insane, it changes with the wind, quite literally. It’s the only place I’ve been where it can change from 40 to 18 degrees in a matter of hours.

We avoided the tennis on the two hottest 40 degree days as I can’t half moan when I want to. Instead I took Dawn for a 4K run - I could tell she enjoyed it even if she couldn’t catch her breath to tell me.

That evening we thought we would have a walk down st Kildas “front” to visit the colony of blue penguins that return at sunset every night and maybe even have a drink.

It was quite windy and waiting for the sunset and penguins return had restyled our hair like the Wolverine. After 20 mins and no sign of of the bloody penguins I reminded dawn we had actually seen them last time we came to Australia. A baby penguin had surfaced also growing impatient waiting so we took a blurred photo of that and left.

I was cold, Dawn needed the loo so we went straight home missing the opportunity, we found out later, to see Rafa Nadal out at St Kilda “front”

Back at the AO we had bought hospitality tickets for the quarter finals night. The match was to be Federer v Berdych, the result was very predictable as Feds is just too good.

The hospitality involved a pre-match 3 course meal at a posh restaurant, the invite said smart casual, which by the look of the other guests meant summer dresses and sandals for the women. We have limited wardrobes at the best of times but being on our travels the best we could muster was a lot of  casual and not so much smart.  Dawn wore her flip flops. They still let us in but not without disapproving looks.

All drinks it seemed were included, Dawn gave me look that I interpreted as don’t get drunk please we are here for the tennis but I had already set myself a challenge to drink faster than the waiter could pour. I can’t remember how I got on I was too drunk.

Dawn spent the next few hours trying to get rid of me, she succeeded by asking me to get her a coffee during the match. By the time I got back Feds had won. Dawn said she thoroughly enjoyed it.

The next day we decided to get up early and and cycle from St Kilda to Half Moon Bay. Dawn set the alarm for 8am, several snoozes and 4hrs later we got to the bike shop. On the plus side they only charged us $30 not $40 for hire.

Half an hour into our ride I declared it too hot and had to have a lie down followed by lunch and a lolly. We didn’t get to Half Moon Bay,only as far as Brighton but were happy we had at least seen a little more of Melbourne.

With no more live tennis to see we entertained ourselves on walks, runs and brief visits to the beach. Dawn had an arguement with a local today after he nearly decapitated me with a parasol whilst we were running. She insulted him with words I’ve never heard come out of her mouth before - “Crikey Mikey” she shouted 😂 😂 😂 

Even more hilarious was him shouting after her “mind your language please”

Anyone who knows Dawn and her favourite swear word will know how funny this is!

Our time in Melbourne is over, and so the holiday is over. The travelling begins. Next stop Christchurch, New Zealand where the campervan awaits.

[anniepilchard]

Singapore

The trip all started well, Dan picked us up @11.45am despite Dawn moaning we would be too early for the train at 12.25pm. Miss last minute.com started packing at 10.30am so we stuck to the time dan suggested.

The train ride down to London went to plan, except for Dawns arguement with an elderly couple who were sat in “our” seats on the Crewe to London train. Dawn made them move but told them “not to worry, no harm done”. 10 minutes later I told her we were on the the wrong train. Lol - we kept quiet, no harm done.

Arriving at Julie’s who hosted us for the night before our Gatwick flight, we had a few beers and a lovely Mexican chilli with jalapeño scones.

Excitement had us awake most of the night but at least we were up at 7am, on time to Gatwick and on the plane without needing a last passenger call.

And there we sat, on the runway for 3 hours! The fire truck was called as another pilot had seen vapour coming out of our plane. For a while I did wonder whether it had anthing to do with Dawn, excess gas and the jalapeño scones.

One film already watched we finally took off and landed 12hrs later in Singapore! Hooray!

Singapore is hot, humid and very wet, particularly in monsoon season it seems. 

Our hotel (Yotel) is brill, it’s got a funky room, and room service is a robot. Yes an actual robot! Not one but two of them. They can even use the lifts.

After a few hours shut eye we embarked on acclimatising ourselves to our new surroundings. Singapore is mainly underground shopping centres, and where we were going to surface next was anyone’s guess. If we saw something once, the chances were we wouldn’t see it again.

We did find a huge “food opera” and as it was tea time time somewhere in the world we thought we’d eat.

Dawn had salt and pepper chicken and I had beef noodle soup. Most of all of it ended up down Dawns shirt, even mine, as eating soup with chop sticks isn’t  an easy task.

The next day was a sight seeing day, it had stopped raining, the sun was out and it was HOT.

Dawn wanted to go down the “front” which I interpreted as Marina Bay in English speak. So we negotiated the tube (which is ridiculously clean) to a station somewhere near. We decided we would try all the local cuisine whilst here, first on the list was Kaya Toast, which is toast with coconut butter, coconut jam served with (very) soft boiled eggs 🤢🤢🤮🤮

We ate it because we were hungry.

We then made our way to Bay Gardens but could walk no more so got the audio tour for old and disabled people. Our guide couldn’t work the audio tape but we got the gist that the gardens had plants and super trees (see pic) , so we left.

After a quick 3 hour nap back at the hotel, we set out for tea and more Singapore delights. The edible food here consists of chicken and rice or noodle soup otherwise it’s fish heads or pigs intestines. We opted again for the former.

Dawn has now claimed, after observing the locals, she can eat properly with chopsticks and soup spoon combo. She will test it out at the hawkers market tomorrow night - I can’t wait.

Wednesday rained all day, so as true Brits we headed off to the beach at Sentosa Island - “the State of fun”. And fun it was - the rain did not cease, we sat and had a coffee and came back, but not before dawn a tried another Singapore food delight - carrot cake. Now don’t think moist cake topped with butter icing and a walnut, think more mushed radish soaked in lard and fried. 🤢🤢🤮🤮

Dawn nearly puked until I fed her chocolate to rid her from the taste, I spat it out.

Sleep. Tea.

Hawkers market lau pat sat beckoned. All the stalls looked appealing other than the one labelled “Pig Organ Soup”

Moving swiftly on we settled on bbq chicken, mutton and beef skewers (10 each) followed by something Dawn ordered which was accompanied by a bowl of something I didn’t know whether to wash my fingers in or drink. So I did both - in that order. 

Dawn showcased her new chopstick skills by picking up noodles and throwing them back in the bowl repeatedly until a bit stuck to her spoon which she would eat. I’m not sure which locals she had observed but they must have been thin ones. I told her she needed to watch more carefully.

We had previously agreed to try Singapore chilli crab however just before I ordered Dawn bottled it because the crab apparently looked at her (it was dead) she then likened it to seeing a lamb before eating it so we had chicken wings instead.

It’s gonna rain tomorrow so more sleeping and eating will be on the agenda and I may teach myself Mandarin in between.

Our last full day here and more rain. Dawn has slept a lot, we had pizza for lunch and went to the cinema in the afternoon which was considerably cheaper than home. 

We went down the Front again to watch the fountain and light show, although we got there just as it had finished, so we went and got more food which we ate as chopstick professionals although still unsure about the bowl of watery stuff that came with it.

Back at the hotel dawn let me order 2 sachets of coffee and 2 tea bags so I could have the robot room service visit - it’s got to be the highlight of our stay! Small things 😂😂😂

Tomorrow we fly to Melbourne for the tennis 🎾 and hopefully a little less rain.....