annetictac

[annetictac]

Like I used to watch you sleep - Chapter 10

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Max cancels three days before the show. He doesn’t tell her much except a quaint apology and they don’t speak much until a couple of days after the show is done.

She focuses on drowning intrusive, panic driven thoughts that feed off of her insecurities. Roberto’s interview is everywhere but she refuses to watch it. She takes the advice from Lorena and Rachel to let them handle it. The blackout from media has been a comforting accidental tool for it.

She focuses on rehearsal, on writing, on developing the idea of the album she’s been envisioning.

Daniel, Heidi and Lando do come to the show. It is a wonderful performance. Everything goes according to plan. She does a medley of ten of her songs, the crowd is animated and she has to stop herself from throwing herself over them. She takes her guests with her to the after party in a well known rooftop club. It’s then when, after some hours after the initial euphoria has settled that sadness creeps little by little. She had picked up a dress to wear for Max, she had picked the club, Rachel had vetted everything so there would be no leeks.  

“Fuck Max!” Lando cries as he swings an arm around her drunkenly, unknowingly addressing the subject of her souring mood. “He should have been here! You were awesome!” He squeezes her shoulder and drops a drunken kiss on the side of her face. She finds drunk Lando is too easy to love. He’s the little brother she wished she never had, because she would be cleaning up for him all the time. But he had been nothing but sweet. She had already introduced him to most of her squad, most of them older than him. She had been able to pick, he hadn’t really acted on what he said before arriving, he had been staying attached to her side, saying nonsense and dropping a bit of shit on Max to make her laugh.

Daniel laughs loudly besides him shaking his head. His eyes meet hers and she knows she’s not the only one who is not as drunk as the rest. Lando is gone as soon as one of her friends takes him to the dance floor. Danny drops near her, offering his beer.

“You ok?” he asks near her.

“Yeah”.

“I’m sure it was something important, he was excited to come,” he offers and there’s no need to say to whom Daniel is referring to. She shrugs. “He even asked me where he could buy a suit, and that’s big for him, you know?” She tries summoning a smile to match Danny’s grin but all he gets is another grimace.

“I think we are being stupid again,” she confesses softly.

“Why?” he asks, signalling the waiter to bring them something.

“There’s no way this thing can work,” she adds.

“Why?”

“Stop being a four-year-old,” she whines, but slowly and small smile shows.

“Why?” He asks grinning. “I’ve learned this advanced psychology technique from my nephews!” he announces proudly.

She sighs in defeat.

“I just…” She feels the bubble of containment she has been in the last weeks beginning to burst. Danny always had that effect in him, to feel you could tell him everything. He was always surprisingly discreet. Champagne arrives, she thanks the server who gives her a flute and Danny for asking it. “I don’t know how to do casual, meaningless, flirty whatever…” she mumbles hiding behind the thin flute. Danny nods saying nothing. “And with Max…”

“You know he doesn’t do casual either…” he continues encouragingly, bumping his shoulder with hers. “You practically moved with each other a month after you first met!” he adds jokingly but notices too late the joke doesn’t land well.

“And you see how it ended…” she drinks the remains of the flute, taking a deep breath.

“Anna!” Rachel appears with another bottle of champagne. Anna raises to meet her friend, squeezes Danny’s shoulder in thanks, drinks quickly another flute before going dancing with her friends.

Max calls her directly two days after. She lets the phone go to voicemail.

Max: can we talk?

She hates how much it costs her to ignore him. Rachel has her prepping for the next few weeks, since they will have their first F1 commitment two weeks before season start.. She knows it’s something that should only involve de F1 academy with their female drivers. Then there’s also the inaugural show that will also be the launch of the first two singles of the new album.

When she goes to bed she finally caves into answering him, however shortly she can. 

Annie P: sure.

Twenty minutes after he calls her. Videocalls her. She accepts reluctantly.

“Hey,” he says with a timid smile as his face appears on her screen, she can’t help to return with a hesitant smile of her own.

“What have you been up to?”

Max felt like shit for cancelling on Anna. He doesn’t know how to tell her he cancelled going to see her because Kelly appeared and ask to meet. It has been almost four months with zero contact when his ex-girlfriend had called, asked him to meet her the same day he was supposed to be going with Anna.

He didn’t tell anyone the real reason, waiting to see what the meeting was about. He’d been hopeful to see Penelope. Kelly had rejected to come to his house, telling him it would be hard on her to be back to his apartment. He’d offered to go to where she’d be.

They meet awkwardly, the greeting uncomfortable, not knowing if they should cheek – kiss, hug, shake hands. It’s Kelly who breaks the ice by chuckling at their mutual awkwardness. She smiles at him and he sees the girl he fell in love with two years ago. Penelope comes running to meet him, hair half done in a braid. He feels too happy holding her and for a second everything is how it used to be, the little family they had made. It’s Kelly’s saddened eyes that bring him to present.

They sit, coffee is served, Penelope drops to the floor distracted by her playthings.

“She’s missed you,” Kelly says softly when Penelope shows him new dolls she has.

“I’ve missed her too,” he returns. A part of him, the small part wired to please her wants to tell her he’s missed her too but he knows it’s not completely true. He misses the family dynamic they had. He can’t tell Kelly he misses her when his thoughts have been focused on someone else. It wouldn’t be fair on either of them.

It’s then and there she dropped the bomb on him.

“I’m pregnant.”

His fast reflexes all go to panic mode. Then Kelly laughs and panic mixes with confusion.

“Oh your face!” She manages to say as she leans away laughing loudly.

“You are not pregnant?” He stutters.

“Sorry I couldn’t help myself,” she adds smiling, squeezing his hand. “I am pregnant but it’s not yours”. He blinks, awkwardly.

“Are you sure?” he blurts, she has the nerve to giggle again.

“It’s impossible not to be, Max,” she squeezes his hand again. “It’s in vitro, so I’m 100% it’s not yours”.

She admits it was a somewhat hasty reaction to their breakup. She tells him part of her avoiding him was her trying to figure out how she felt about the pregnancy that was still in very early stages. It was a strangely cathartic conversation.

It was only after he left them, he recognized the relief he felt. It was closure.

He watches Anna’s presentation alone at home, with his cats curling around him. He had forgotten how magnetic she was on stage.

Now that we are done and it’s over,

I bet you couldn’t believe,

When you realise,

I’m harder to forget than I was to leave,

And I bet you think about me.

He remembers her older songs, not enough to sing every lyric but he knows the melodies well enough. She’s comfortable with her guitar, her hips swaying to the rhythm. They are three songs in when she dances to Shake it off, her beaded dress flying around her.

Then come those he hasn’t allowed himself to hear or read too much into them. His phone hasn’t stopped buzzing from Danny and Lando who are sending photos and videos. They are in great seats; he has seen them a couple of times when the cameras has showed them. There was an empty spot next to Danny, which should have been his.

I’ve known it from the very start,

We’re a shot in the darkest dark,

Oh no, oh no, I’m unarmed.

Lando: dude, you better not be at the sim.

Lando: she’s killing it!

I’m standin’ on a tightrope alone,

I hold my breath a little bit longer,

Halfway out the door, but it won’t close

I’m holding out hope for you to say,

“Don’t go”

I would stay forever if you say, don’t go.

Danny: I don’t know if you are watching this but… you should.

Danny: Say Don’t Go – published in 2020. First record she dropped after you two yk.

Why’d you whisper in the dark,

Just to leave me in the night,

Now your silence has me screamin’, screamin

Say, don’t go.

He doesn’t need Danny to tell him what’s so evident for him. He hadn’t heard this song. He purposely avoided the album she published after they were gone. He assumed he would get a reference in a song. But mostly because he was afraid there wouldn’t be. That he’d be another almost something in her life that she forgot about. Not worth the ink in her notebook.

There’s a part of him that wants to dive in the blackhole of her songs, to hear them all and look for clues of what she means and what they are about. But he doesn’t. He takes the que from Lando to do sim work to distract himself once Anna has finished her performance and the prize ceremony resumes.

He goes to sleep relatively early. Next day there are even more videos and photos from Danny and Lando. Many in which Anna can be seen dancing and in all having a great time. He’s not enough of an ass to have wished she didn’t, since it was him that bailed.

He waits to call her ‘til the next day because he remembers the day after was going to be hectic for her.

Like most things in his life, he does it directly and without much preamble. He apologizes. Max doesn’t give any excuse or really explains why he couldn’t go, but he kills any doubt she has with his bluntness. He’s earnest when he says he really wanted to be there with her. And she believes him. Because that’s who she is.

There’s also a part of her that doesn’t feel entitled enough to be really mad at him. It’s not like they are together, she tells herself again. Not really. She doesn’t doubt his interest and she knows he has a soft spot for her, but there’s a long way from there to a fully fleshed relationship. There’s been no exclusive tag discussed.

They manage to set a new date a week from there. It’s a much less firm plan. Now that he’s beginning to pick up his normal schedule, she knows there’s effort on his side to not let too much time pass. But it is a long shot. He has to be in Austria but he could squeeze in half a day to meet her in Paris, where she has to be for a photoshoot. It’s unstable because they both depend on everything going on time.

And it doesn’t. Because even if every meeting has started and ended with Swiss precision, weather cannot be planned. He’s the first to leave the airport early in the morning once they get clearance to flight and he barely has time to tell Rachel who agrees to surprise Anna.

He knocks a couple of times. The door opens and there she is. Her hair is down, she’s still wearing the colourful extensions she wore on the photoshoot. She opens the door wider, showing her silky robe tightly wrapped around her. She’s surprised to see him.

“Hi,” she greets, her eyes crinkling merrily as she grins.

“Hi,” he returns, takes a confident step and before they can distract themselves, Max takes her by the waist and kisses her. Like he has been longing to do since they parted in new year’s.

Her arms wrap around his neck as his foot pushes the door closed, dropping his bag on the floor without care. Tongues exploring, her fingers scratch his neck to pull him impossibly closer. Her urgency is contagious. He feels his senses being drown by her, as he nips, licks and kisses his way down her neck.

“Max,” she moans when he kisses the right spot after pushing her robe to fall over her right shoulder. She pushes harder her body to his, brushing with purpose to the tightness in his pants.   

“Keep that up and I won’t be able to do all the things I’ve planned,” he mumbles near her ear gaining a giggle.

“We have time,” she replies pushing him to the sofa. “Thirsty?” She asks between kisses.

“Did you hear me?” He asks clicking his tongue in disapproval as he drops on the couch, his hands feeling extremely empty as they wait for her to join him.

“I did,” she confirms humming stepping back from him, as she counts with her fingers with a smirk at his frustration. “I’ve got beer, german, Limoncello, Italian – “

“Duh,” he interrupts before she closes his mouth with her hand to avoid a new interruption. He bites her softly, eyes dark. He may be more patient now than when he was younger but he still doesn’t consider himself a patient person.

“Wine, French-“He licks her palm slowly, making her hand jump away, her cheeks rouging quickly, trapping her lip with her teeth. “Max-”

“I want you to stop-“ he interrupts her but quickly after she kisses him, shutting him up again. He takes advantage of her nearness to grab her ass and pull her towards him spreading her knees to his sides. There’s no resistance from her part. Another pull and he has her firmly over his lap, just where he wants her. Her centre so close to his. “This is better,” he hums, kissing the opening of her silky robe, confirming his suspicions that there was nothing else to hide her from him beneath the silky fabric. He kisses his way down to her sternum, her hips pushing looking for friction.

“Max-” At her tone he stops completely, his eyes clearer, straightening his back to the couch.

“Do you not want to-“ he asks. Maybe he’s read the situation wrong. Maybe she doesn’t-

“Oh no, I do,” she reassures giving him a kiss, that’s barely a peck, breaking his pessimistic thoughts. “I just- “ she doesn’t finish but he notices she’s blushing. There’s something terribly innocent about her, in spite of how very not innocent he knows her to be.

“Is something wrong?” his hands drop from her back, itching to go back touching her, but trying to give her some space. She touches his hands with the tip of her fingers hesitantly, looking down, not meeting his eye. Which is never a good sign. He doesn’t want to push but he has no clue of what has them stopping. She bites her lower lip as she looks at him uncertainly.

“How long are you staying?” Her posture releases whatever tension it had and he has to bite his tongue to avoid laughing at her nervousness for something so silly.  

“Well, that depends on how well you behave…” he answers seriously.

“Are you sleeping over?”

“That’s’ the plan, no?” He asks and he notices her narrowing eyes.

“You only said you’d be here, not for how long or if… ” she continues annoyed, which is another posture he doesn’t want her in.  

“Well, I make my firm confirmation on staying here the whole day and the whole night,” he uses her hold on his hands on his advantage again to pull her chest to his, kissing her. His arms now holding her comfortably “With you,” He adds another kiss, taking a little longer, biting her lower lip, feeling her back untense beneath his hands.  “Not leaving the bed,” another kiss than gains him a giggle that feels like a fourth championship. “Sleeping and eating optional,” he finishes with longer kiss than brings her back to where they were. They break staring at each other.

“I was trying to be polite,” she mutters, lips an inch from him. “I didn’t want you to think I was only bringing you here for sexual favours – which I am – but I don’t want you to know that right?” He laughs and kisses her again, his hands comfortably holding her back side. “A little drink here, a little conversation then, my plan’s flawless”.

“We’ve been talking for three weeks,” he counters, his nose pushing away the robe revealing there’s no bra hiding her beautiful teats from him. He sighs in reverence with a dreamy smile.

“That’s right,” she answers distractedly, his eyes have gotten dark and she knows hers must be the same. She already feels her lower regions tight, wet and warm.

“And I’m sure you are hydrated,” he mutters as he brushes with his lips her clavicle. Her breathing stops, she tries but fails to avoid pushing herself closer to where she wants his pouty lips. She hums not sure of what they were talking before. “I for sure am hydrated”. He continues glancing up, smirking at the sight of her hypnotized eyes before him.

She’s the impatient one this time, with a firm grip she pulls his head back before pressing her chest fully to his, her lips locking with his, her hips rolling into him. Her tongue battles his.

It’s his turn to moan when she arches her back, rubbing her centre to his again. There are still too many layers between them but he feels it as if they were both bare. His hands drop to her ass to help her and guide her rhythm. She breaks the kiss with a hiss and he takes his shot to lick one of her nipples. He knows he shouldn’t press too much right now, she’s too sensitive. She whines when he leaves one for the other and she tries muttering something but she quiets when he sucks it a bit harder.

“Take off your pants please,” she whispers, eyes closed, always polite.

“Open your eyes,” he commands in retribution, it takes her little more than a couple of seconds to open them. He helps her up on unstable legs, takes off his pants as quickly as he can, without harming himself.  

“Boxers off please,” she adds when he takes longer than she would like, she pulls the last of it off his feet, spreading her legs to his sides. His hands push away the robe that she has forgotten she still had on.

“Fuck Annie,” he whispers, worship evident in his eyes as he takes her in. His hands nervously touch her, a part of him not believing they can touch her like this again. It’s her turn to be shy, cheeks blushing.

“Max, it’s not like it’s the first time… not even the first time this year,” she mumbles sheepishly, cheeks red, feeling herself slipping closer to his centre, her hips absently returning to their dance of pressing and releasing.

“It sure as hell feels like it,” he confesses, eyes on hers saying much more than he could put to words.

She has to squash the tenderness of his voice from her heart. She kisses him, to avoid any other confession escaping her. She can’t tell him she has been thinking about him every day since they last saw each other. That the secret album she’s writing has taken a turn and instead of revenge it talks of promises of eternal love. Of new beginnings, of being better. She can’t tell him how she feels too much like last time before he broke them down, when she was so sure he had be the mythical perfect match. And it’s only been a few weeks. No matter how many times she has said to Rachel and the rest of her friends that they are just goofing around, there’s a part of her that’s hoping for more. For him to stay and not leave her like the last time. For this time to be it.

She kisses him because she feels if he tells her something more, words will slip from her, he’ll get scared and the fragile thing they have between them will break for good.

They kiss and her hips find rhythm with his as they rub together, and finally she lets him in. They go slow, his eyes not leaving hers, trying to lock out what she’s hiding. Because he knows her, and he knows she hides when she’s scared.

He tries to push softly, keeping himself from coming to soon, trying to enjoy the feel of her to make it last as long as he can. But there’s a limit to what he can hold back as she moves in synch with him, her breasts dancing along, her eyes half open – half closed.

“Fuck Annie,” he mutters again when her hips sway a bit differently, bringing him to the edge. She takes one of her hands to touch her clit, he takes her place after copying what she wants and where she wants him. She moans, hums and whines in agreement.

“Wait please,” she pleads. “I’m almost…”

“Can I…?”

“Yes, but please hold…” she moans her lips resting near his. That gains him a laugh, which makes everything vibrate deliciously, he doesn’t forget to press and rub her nub as he helps her move a bit faster until he feels her clench and relax. She smiles at him, her pace slowing down a bit further from climax. Her brow raises in confusion.

“Please hold the call, while I…” he mocks as he unexpectedly raises, taking her with him. Her arms jump surprised, to grab his shoulders. He lays her down on her back as he slips back in without much preamble, the new position giving him more leverage, gaining a long moan from her. He pushes a bit rougher, a bit harder, quickly taking her near to climax. The image in front enough to bring him back to the edge. “Open your eyes Annie,” he orders again. She opens them startled; she didn’t notice she had closed them again. He drops to his arms to her side, liking the feel of her chest closer to his. He feels her clench tighter, her head drops, he notices she fights keeping her eyes on his. He smirks pleased. “I want to hear you Annie,” he says feeling his release close. “I want you to see me fuck you”. She moans as he pushes slowly.

“Max, please don’t stop,” she pleads as she brings him impossibly closer with her arms on his back, her pussy is still tender from her climax. “Keep it up Max, fuck me harder,” she adds as she notices he tenses. Her legs tighten their hold on him, feeling his fluttering release. She doesn’t let go until she feels him relax in her arms. He kisses her lower jaw, as he rests his head on the side of her neck. His breathing tickling her.

Her hands brush his back for a couple of minutes before he slips out. She doesn’t notice she’s doses off until she feels his warm hands cleaning her softly. She helps him finish and he doesn’t ask her anything as he grabs her, takes her to the main room and slips into the covers holding her close.

[annetictac]

As you wish CL16

Summary: Charlie helps you out when batteries run out. One - shot.

Warnings: smut below.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything F1 or CL related, this fic is for fun!

It was silly really.

She’d been so frustrated, so sexually deprived that she had run to her room not locking the door. Then her trusted companion, the little bullet vibrator that could get her off under 5 minutes had decided enough was enough and it slowly died on her before giving her release.

She really had to begin reading all those mediating, calming books she had piled next to her bed. She’d been so annoyed by the timing of the bullet demise that she had thrown it to the wall, hitting a lamp, making it break and fall loudly on the floor. And also, the quick unplanned movement - from her unstable one leg up position, dress wrinkled up, panties still hanging from the upper leg - had finished to unbalance her making her also fall loudly.

It had taken less than a minute for Charles to barge in, without knocking of course.

“Are you ok?” he’d asked, his lovely innocent green eyes looking for any sign of harm quickly before they jumped to look to the ceiling once he realized her panties – black lace, he noticed – were not on. They both had the decency to blush wildly.

“I – I-“ she began stammering, quickly closing her legs and pulling her panties up. And before she could think further. “Sorry, my vibrator broke and I threw it against the wall, bad aim, bad-”

“It broke?” he interrupted, his eyes meeting hers again, still a little blush remaining over his cheeks. She blushed furiously.

“Not like that! Batteries run out,” she stood, smoothing the flowy fabric of her skirt to cover what it could of her upper legs. She noticed Charles’ pretty eyes followed her hands in movement.

“Did you at least get off?” he dropped without thinking, keeping the red on her cheeks.

“N-no,” she mumbled, brushing her hair behind her ears. “Hence, the violence…”

“Do you want me to help?”  

She blamed their sheer bluntness on the ridiculousness of their situation. They were friends. The’d been friends for a long time and not once had he given her any sign that he regarded her as anything but. In fact, every time someone would confuse her for his inexistent sister, he would always avoid to deny it.

She stood there for what felt like hours, but was probably a couple of seconds and it wasn’t until she saw him physically give a step back that something snapped her into action.

“Sure!”

It was unclear to know if they both felt the need to act so quickly before the bravado ran out. Both met in the middle before Charles grabbed the ends of her dress, his fingertips brushing her legs slightly. Giving her shivers and heating her centre surprisingly quickly.

“I-“ Before he could say anything, her hands went quickly to grab his neck and she helped her self on her tips to kiss him. Bless him for his quick reaction times. In less than a second his big hands grabbed her naked ass from under her dress to flush her against him. “Fuck…” he muttered against her neck as he dropped wet kisses and licks around her collarbone.

“Fuck…” she agreed nodding slightly as she leaned her neck back to grant him access. She thanked the makers of her dress for buttons that opened too easily as he pressed down and down into her chest. She sighed when he sat bringing her into his lap, putting pressure to the apex of her long legs. She rolled her hips brushing her pussy against the costures of his jeans. Frustration beginning to build.

And then nothing. He felt his strong arms pushing her away from where she wanted him.

“Patience, love,” he muttered as he finished taking her dress off, pushed completely away her soaking panties. She didn’t wait for him to open her bra’s lock, quickly discarding it on the floor. His hands had been grabbing her ass cheeks, probably leaving red marks in their wake. He paused, taking her in and slowly closing his eyes, he gave her a kiss over her belly button, his fingers moving forward ‘til they found her folds. She hissed, her hand jumping to his strong neck.

“Charlie,” she whispered in awe as her eyes slipped closed, she leaned her weight into his knees as she stood in front of him as he explored her softly. “I’m going to need way more than a finger to come, darling,” she muttered, her fingers threading into his brown locks, nails scratching him, as he entered further in his exploratory index and took it out completely. She opened her eyes confused to watch him suck his own finger.

“I’m going to need you to lay down,” he instructed, sucking again on his finger. That image would be on her top three she would need in the future to touch herself. He smirked and didn’t wait for her to move, he pushed her into bed, as he laid on his side, mouth near hers. “If I’d known you tasted this good, I would have barged into your room a lot sooner…” he whispered, making her flush again, as he returned his finger into position and placed a second one as his thumb lazily toyed with her clit. She sighed in content, as he picked up the pace. “Tell me how you want me love,” he kissed her lower jaw, his fingers not loosing pace. She looked at him, her eyes drawn into his pretty lips. Her thoughts must have showed because he grinned widely. “As you wish,” he said giving her a quick peck before changing positions, opening her legs, raising one over his shoulders. Fuck his shoulders. She felt the first wave of her orgasm arriving when his tongue began dancing over her clit. It took her little to crash but instead of stopping he slowed his space and rode her wave with her.

Once he felt her relaxing, he picked up the pace until she reached a second one too easily. When she was younger she would have been embarrassed, now she knew better. She sighed his name, moaned and pushed her feet ‘til his shoulders. She could swear she felt him grinning as he continued to leak her climax away.

“Charlie,” she called lazily as she felt herself relax for the second time. She pushed his face away softly, rubbing her wetness from his lips with her thumb. He climbed ‘til he was on top of her before kissing her sloppily. It was then she noticed he was unfairly fully dressed.

“You look so pretty like this, love,” he mumbled into her lips. “So pretty,” he repeated as his hand held her jaw before kissing her fully. She felt her belly filling with butterflies while she returned his kiss with enthusiasm. She felt the tension in his jeans but before she could release him, he said. “I would have offered to find you batteries sooner,” he mumbled to her lips. She frowned confused.

“What?” He blinked at her confusion.

“I was offering to help you find new batteries for your toy,” he explained. She flushed red in embarrassment and she was tempted to flee in shame but his strong arms held her in place. “I think I liked your idea of help much better than mine!”

[annetictac]

Like I used to watch you sleep - Chapter 9

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

CHAPTER 9

“Her social media has been blacked out, but it doesn’t mean her social life has been one bit boring,” the first commentator replies as the screen is parted with a continuous series of screen shots, simple photos, paparazzi photos, videos Anna dancing, singing (karaoke?).

“The squad has been summoned, for sure,” the second commentator adds up as different model-looking girls show in different clips. Max recognizes some of the faces from perfume adds and perhaps a movie. There are little notes indicating cities the clips are from. So far Max has read Paris, Barcelona, Copenhagen, Tokio. “It seems new year’s was only the beginning,” Again her photo exiting the new year’s party, long legs exposed. He has been trying to pay attention to his meal as everyone had already finished, moved up to the sofa and turned on the tv – gossip column first thing that came on, and so far there’s no taking it off without angering the group on his sofa. His food is cold, making him admit that he’s as absorbed in the morning gossip.

“ ‘Where are Anna Pearson’s stockings’ stopped being the most sought question in Google after news flashed of Roberto Maño’s possible interview deal with Oprah,” the commentator does a dramatic pause, looking straight to the camera. “And little after, Ms. Pearson can be seen in Tokio singing best friend’s new hit Vampire…” the voice of the commentator fades to a capture of a tiktok clip of Anna singing to the camera of probably one of her friends. They are giggling stumbling upon the Japanese streets, onlookers to their sides.

“The way you sold me for parts, you sunk your teeth into me,” she sings with another one out of frame eyes looking elsewhere, Max suspects a little bit drunk. She giggles to the camera staring directly her big hypnotizing honey eyes. “Bloodsucker, famefucker!” She sings louder, laughs, takes a gulp of something before finishing in a softer more sober tone. “Bleeding me dry like a goddamn vampire!” The camera leaves her to show the rest of her friends laughing continuing the song.

“The thing is… Anna can introduce me to her friends, right?” Lando asks, from his seat on the coach. “I mean, I did get you to that party, didn’t I?” The British driver has taken off his shoes laying his for sure sweaty feet over the coffee table. Unnoticed by the rest who are caught into the gossip talk show. Max rolls his eyes ignoring his friend, Danny chuckling besides him. The aussie driver is the only who has remained sitting, as he’s distracted typing rapidly on his phone.  

“The social medial black out we are still not sure if it’s a publicity stun after her contract with F1 has been made public, if there might be a surprise album coming or if it has to do with Roberto’s Oprah interview,” the first commentator continues, cutting to the image of the well looking actor in a red carpet. Tall, thick hair perfectly coiffed as the actor walks a red carpet with confidence, moving his perfectly tailored jacket to pose for the cameras, big perfected smile.

“He’s an asshole,” Victoria chips whispering from her place in the sofa as she balances Luka near her chest sleeping. “I mean, she’s always been notoriously quiet about well…” Victoria glances back at her brother who stares at her deadpanned.

“What it’s for sure is that vampire has flown to the top of the lists, and many are speculating the second mystery writer of the song might as well be Anna Pearson…” There’s a video of another girl, vaguely familiar to Max signing the same lyrics Anna was before.

It’s been a couple of weeks since they last saw each other and their texting has certainly quiet down from the first day’s frenzy. Max hasn’t dared to ask anything about her plans after she asked if he could stay in London for a few more days. Which he couldn’t. He had felt the tension of the unmentioned toppings in their conversation increasing as the days passed.

He had refused to let conversation dry completely sending her anything silly that passed through his social media, comforted that her humour remained untouched but the closing of her social media – which she told him beforehand, though gave little to no explanation -  had crippled his efforts. She was barely on her phone, as it was, usually answering in different hours. He did know they had a big show coming and she would be mostly practicing. And partying apparently.  

 “In two weeks, we will be seeing Anna Pearson performing in the European MTV Awards, in Italy, to receive her ten-year commemoration,” the commentators continue in the background. “We are expecting a 15 minute show, or at least that’s what we could get from-”

“It’s two days after the Oprah interview goes live, no?”

“Yeah, but in Pearson’s favour, she had confirmed her presence in the EMAs long before Roberto made the break up statement-”.

“What a ****,”

“I know I’m team Anna for sure,”

 “And are we going to talk about the hair?”

“I think she looks gorgeous with her hair short,” Heidi says to Victoria.

“Me too, right Maxie?” Victoria agrees, glancing cheekily and knowingly to her brother.

“I’ll tell when I see her,” Max mutters his back to the TV trying to block the gossip shows Heidi, Victoria and Lando insisted on playing on his TV. Daniel laughs near him.

“Ohhh so now it’s when you see her?” Victoria continues, turning slowly, careful not to wait her sleeping child. In spite of him not confirming to his sibling or Lando that anything had happened, Lando has been constantly repeating whatever he thought he saw at the New Year’s party, even Max’s mother is aware something happened. And what Lando knows wasn’t much but it didn’t take much for the british driver to dramatize it. Victoria has happily joined the teasing.

It’s Heidi he worries might know something and pass it along, but Daniel has insisted he hasn’t said anything to her. Max doubts it, because he knows how pillow talk sometimes works. Kelly and Heidi weren’t bests of friends but they did hang out. Enough for Heidi not to confirm anything from Kelly’s side. And this thing with Anna was still not something he knew what it was but he didn’t want to hurt Kelly in spite of not knowing anything about her since October.

“That’s something,” Lando agrees by Max’s side.

“Do you get tickets for the EMAs brother dear?” Victoria asks her voice a bit higher than before, making Luka whine.

“Dunno,” Max says shrugging.

“It’s in Milan,” she adds, he shrugs again non-committal.

“Danny got tickets,” Heidi intervenes and the bell of Max’s phone interrupts his little focus on the conversation.

AnnieP: hi!

Maxie: hi

He feels the nerves in his stomach. Daniel has taken over the conversation, a knowing glance from his teammate lets Max know something shows in his face when he sees Anna’s name. Fuck it all. He takes advantage of the aussie as distraction, slipping to the balcony for the little privacy he can manage.

Annie P: can I call you?

His throat runs dry because since New Year’s texting is all they’ve ever done. And just texting. Memes, links of silly news, a song – or the beginnings of one if he understood her correctly. He glances back to the living room where everyone seems distracted with conversation, perhaps Danny has been successful changing subjects. There’s a part of him that wants to tell her no, make her wait a bit, but at the end wanting to hear her wins with great margin.

Max: sure.

She must have been waiting for his answer because less than ten seconds later he has her face on his screen. He’d forgotten he had her saved with an old photo of them. Before trying to remember when they took that particular photo he accepts and it’s then he realizes it’s a videocall.

Her face shows and her lips draw a happy grin. He brushes clumsily his hair as quickly as he can before she starts chuckling perceptively.

“Hi!” She repeats cheerful, nothing but joy in her face.

 “You said call, not videocall,” he snaps embarrassed. He had never been a vain person but he still was conscious he was still in his sweated padel clothes, he hadn’t even seen himself in the mirror since they arrived.

“Sorry,” she laughs, clearly not sorry at all. “You look gorgeous, anyways,” she adds fondly, is she blushing? Is he blushing? She’s in a dark room as far as he can see, probably recording studio.  Her hair is indeed shorter but it still is dark chocolate.

She then shows him her free hand, her casted hand.

“What happened?” he frowns worried, his hair forgotten.

“That’s why I’m calling, texting takes too long,” she whines lowering her casted hand.

“And videocalling?”

“I might miss your face as well as your voice,” she answers a sly grin stretching on her face, flirtatiously.

“In which time zone are you?” he asks when her laughter begins to quiet down.

“Uff returned to London yesterday, it’s been a bit hectic,” she murmurs, brushing her hair away from her face. “We are recording ‘til 15h, then choreo, hopefully tonight I get to stay home… and you?”

“Mom left yesterday. Vic’s still here with the kids,” he says awkwardly.

“Uncle Maxie,” she coos, big smile not leaving her face. He shakes his head in fake disapproval.

“I hear you might be coming to Italy soon?” he drops, changing subject and she bites her lip.

“Yup, next week I’ll be there for practice, and two weeks after it’s the show,” she answers a hesitant half smile on her face.

He can’t say it’s been hard or easy getting back in contact with her. There’s something between them that hasn’t changed, conversation is usually. But at the same time, he’s not blind to how different things are. In spite of her cheery complexion, her flirtatious tone, he knows there’s a barrier there that wasn’t there before, something that wasn’t there before. She’s more guarded. Something he knows he’s to blame for.  

“Italy is not far from Monaco,” he continues nervously not looking away from the video. “I could... or you could…” he shrugs feeling absolutely pathetic in his attempt to be smooth. Fuck it. “Can we meet?”

She laughs and nods emphatically, her grin impossibly wide.

“Thought you’d never ask!”

It was as if awkwardness faded suddenly and all was left was them.

She explains how they were working on a much more physical presentation than she’s used to and she fell badly on her wrist. It hadn’t been too serious, she should be alright for the show, but depending on how she recovered she might not be able to play the guitar how they had planned for the first half of the show, the choreography had already been changed to avoid anything worse.

Then she had dramatically described her clumsy accident. A slip with a cord as her dancing partner was twirling her around. He laughed merrily, knowing at the end she was fine.

“I’d like to see you try Verstappen!” she mocked.

“After you give a spin with one of our cars,” he had retorted quickly remembering how she had almost crashed one of his first cars, when he let her drive it.

“I’m a much better driver now, thank you very much,” she snapped back but her tone held no real grudge behind.

“Wanna bet?” he challenged wiggling his eyebrows.

“Name the prize,” she agrees wiggling her own, cheeks heated a quick remembrance of an old bet of them that had ended with a broken table. He feels flushed as he remembers all too well.  

Someone calls for her, breaking the moment and allowing them to reign themselves. She asks for ten more minutes. Once the person outside of the image is out, she rolls her eyes as she grins to the camera and asks him again what’s new with him.

He told her about his new found love of paddle, and perhaps he exaggerated his prowess, which he suspected she had noticed as she snorts when he tries bragging of winning Lando – forgetting to mention Danny had done most of the job. He told her Lando had been bugging him for her to present her friends to him. That had gained a contagious laugh from her.

“Bring him with you,” Anna encourages, delicately taking a lock of rebel hair, behind her ear. She adds they could meet in group in case a paparazzi got word of where she was. Just in case. The unsaid words boost him to be bold. It’s then he notices how insecure he feels with their whole ordeal. Max offers he could go back with her to London because he had to drop in Milton Keys in the next few weeks. Her face parts into a big grin that warms him deeply. He’s debating himself to ask what she would like to do lodging wise when Lando opens loudly the sliding crystal door keeping him inside.

“Annaaaaa,” he greets sitting next to Max, taking the phone from his hands. Danny appears by the window frame apologetically.

“Hi Mr. Lando!” She returns warmly. “I hear today wasn’t a good the at the paddle court for you?”

“I couldn’t keep him any longer,” Daniel tells Max sighing dramatically. “And also, I wanted to say hi!” he squeezes himself at Max’s other side. Max could hear her laughing. He sighs in resignation, knowing it will be difficult to have his phone and his privacy back.

“Assholes,” he mutters.

“Mr. Ricciardo!” she greets, merrily, ignoring Max’s comment. “Long time no see!”

“Ditto!” the Australian mirrored her grin and excitement. “Are you-”

“Is Rachel there?” Lando interrupts. She laughs and shakes her head.

“I’m afraid if she were I wouldn’t be allowed to use my phone,” she confides but there are no bad feelings in her voice. “She’s been forced to take a two week break by her employer”.

“Meaning you,” Max adds deadpanned.

“Yup!” she answers grinning proudly.

In less than ten minutes Lando and Daniel have agreed to join him to see Anna in Milan, ffor the EMA’s and then they will all return together to London. She leaves him to continue recording. Lando tries to ask her if it’s a new album but she escapes answering laughing when she hangs up.

CHAPTER 10

[annetictac]

Like I used to watch you sleep- Chapter 8

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Danny Ric: Little bird-ndo, says Anna Pearson was in attendance to new year’s bash.

Was the first text Max read when he woke. It was midday, he’d gather from Lando they didn’t have to leave the room ‘til they wanted to and he’d consciously taken off all the alarms. He rolled his eyes at Daniel’s gossipy nature.

Maximus Prime: Yeah, so?

Max texted quickly throwing his phone back to bed. He’d had a nice night of sleep. It had been some months, since before the season ended that wasn’t the norm. He’d stayed with Martin and Anna after they had returned to the party sharing knowing smiles, lingering touches, not willing to part. He’d collected Lando from dance – jumping, jacket lost forever.

The soft ding made him break his memories and make a grab for the phone again, curious. He’d always been too curious for his own good.

Danny Ric: No one knew where you BOTH were at 12.

Danny continues, adding memes of intrigue and eyebrow wiggling. Max feels the heat returning to his whole face, remembering their unplanned encounter. Fuck. He’d felt a bit regretful when he’d reached the empty hotel room, they hadn’t had the time to talk about anything when Martin found them little after they had rejoined the party.

Maximus Prime: Yeah, so?

Max insists, knowing stubbornness is his strong suit for this. Fuck Lando. Max’d thought he’d be too drunk to notice they’d been gone. He hadn’t said anything when they went up for the party, Lando too trashed to find his room alone.

Danny Ric: You forget my friend who was the one who covered for you back in 2019.

Danny continues then sends a photo. It’s the front page of some newspaper he doesn’t recognize. Anna arriving to the party, arm up waving at the camaras.  Rachel and Mikah following her closely from behind. She looks beautiful as usual, naturally poised, people in the background staring at her in awe. It looks like a perfume add.

Then without any other written message in between comes the second photo, of her exiting the party a drink in hand, her other arm wrapped around Rachel, coat open flapping behind her. She’s grinning widely to her friend, clearly not aware there’s a camara at work.

Danny Ric: Find the differences.

Danny adds, knowing Max too well to expect any quick comment. At first Max thinks Danny is only talking about how much happier she looks in the second photo, perhaps her missing reds, and her hair is much curlier. All to be expected after a new year’s party. Perhaps something does settle on his stomach hoping a portion of that smile might be because of him. Then he reads the article’s title, that has been purposely included: “A party worth losing your stockings over”.

Fuck. He thinks once again. Knowing Danny like he does, the Australian had probably been fishing and didn’t know he’d caught a whale.  

Danny Ric: have you been naughty Verstappen?

Max has to be thankful there are no photos of Lando or himself that his PR team sees important to share with him. If there were, his first message in the morning most definitely would be from Patricia – the head PR liaison.

He’s tempted not to respond, but at the end he knows Danny knows him. There’s no sense in lying as he knows Dani won’t be blabbering to the press, nor to anyone else that is not already familiar with Max and Anna’s past.

Maximus Prime: fuck you.

It’s as good as a confirmation as the Australian will get. He adds a hand flipping a finger to which Danny responds with a selfie grinning widely. That will do for the rest of the day, he thinks.

Danny Ric: so proud of you.

He glances back at the second photo. Max knows the missing stockings were in the insides of his jacket. He’d planned to get them clean but now he doesn’t know if they were worth the trouble. An idea pops into the dutch driver’s head. He tries to dismiss it but once again he opens Danny’s conversation, knowing he can fight it but at the end it’ll be better to ask Danny.

Maximus Prime: can you get me her telephone?

Fuck. Max thinks again, knowing Dan will be having a field day.

Danny Ric: you erased it?

Maximus Prime: No.

Danny Ric: then you already have it, she hasn’t changed it.

He hadn’t erased it but he had changed her name. It had been at the top of his contact list and he’d changed it so it would stop popping every time he had to search something over it.

He opens the conversation bubble, a knot on his stomach when he reads the last texts she sent him, still there saved by some weird miracle.

Annie P: I think we’ll be there after the last practice.

Annie P: Long bath, room service, you and me?

Annie P: See you soon champ! Be careful!

For a moment, he’s discouraged from writing her, past history making its way to the present. He tried a couple of greetings before erasing them. He felt like a stupid teen again. Max decided to take a shower and maybe ask for breakfast or find Lando.

It was between these tasks he wrote the first thing he thought, waited a second for the message to pass through – what if she blocked him?-  and when the double check appeared, he quickly hid his phone inside his pocket before knocking on Lando’s door.

---

Anna woke early as usual. She tried meditation but her mind would not quiet down. When she went downstairs, she found Mikah sleeping loudly at the same couch she had left him with a glass of water. Rachel was nowhere to be found downstairs, which was expected. Anna tried making as little noise as she could as she made coffee and left with a thick cape for the cold deck outside. Her black lab Susie following her eagerly, throwing herself at the little snow that still covered part of the long yard.

There was no one outside, most of the staff had been given the day off. Only security remained.

Susie rolled around the snow patch getting wet quickly.

“Suz!” She called and the dog came excitedly, brushing her mane on her pj bottoms. “Aren’t you a happy little princess?” she cooed as the dog continued to brush her legs as she moved from one side to the other. She let her play while she drank the big cup of steaming coffee.

She sat at the only dry deck chair, taking her time before checking her phone. There were many texts congratulating the new year, most coming after she went to bed and the rest of the world welcomed it.

Lorena S: did you guys have fun at least?

Her lawyer wrote after sending her one of the many versions of her photo leaving the party stocking less.

APea: I think that’s evident XD

Lorena S: then don’t worry, we’ll take care of it. I will need to schedule a call for tomorrow morning if it’s ok.

APea: something wrong? We can talk now if you want.

Lorena S: No, don’t worry. Just technicalities.

Anna knows Lorena never calls her with technicalities, usually her team is in charge of any logistic that has to be summoned. She doesn’t insist, appreciating the one day break she gets from her duties. She trusts Lorena to know how much a problem can wait before it explodes.

That’s when another message reaches her phone.

Maxie: you know what’s also good at this hotel?

She would have spat her coffee if she’d been drinking it. Her brain had been half occupied by Max Verstappen from the moment he had kissed her. She’d debated whether she should wait to contact him, but he’d won again.

Annie P: sorry, who is this?

She erases before he sees it.  

Annie P: the beds? 

She leaves her phone in one of the long pockets of her cape, when Suz chooses to come back to her, asking her for her breakfast with her nose half nuzzling, half pushing her inside. Anna leaves her out to search for her towels to dry her as much as she can, before preparing the dog’s breakfast.

With her second cup of coffee she takes a pair of scones to the oven. She hears the rhythmic sound of Mikah’s snoring, confirming nothing had changed inside.

Maxie: it’s very rude to erase messages, you know?

Annie P: curiosity killed the cat, you know?

Maxie: it sounds like you are deflecting

Annie P: it’s you who’s not answering

He takes a few minutes to answer.

Maxie: the pillows

And somehow, she knows he chickened out from answering what he first thought.

Annie P: better than the wonderful breakfast buffet?

A picture of scrambled eggs with bacon comes back, with Lando sleeping over his plate.

Annie P: is he alive?

Maxie: I’ll check after I finish my eggs.

Annie P: priorities well stablished.

Suz comes to get her once she finishes eating, making her happy full belly dance. She takes a small video of Suz and sends it back to him.

Maxie: is that you after breakfast?

Annie P: my soul animal represents me.

Maxie: that she does.

Annie P: how do you know it’s a she?

Maxie: I know you and she probably has human name.

It doesn’t feel as weird as she thinks that after all this time, he still does.

Annie P: Susie, Suzette, Suz.

Maxie: Susane when she breaks something?

Annie P: Susana Carolina. She’s good though, almost never have to use it.

Maxie: right, Latin-American traditions and all.

Annie P: Yup. Are you staying the whole day there?

Maxie: have no idea, Lando was the thinking machine. He seems to be coming back to consciousness. Brb.

Scones are gone from her plate. She keeps her phone in silence, to avoid falling into staring at it for his next text. She puts away her plate and cup. Goes to her desk to find what she left ready the day before. Usually for the first of January she likes to begin a new notebook for her thoughts, lyrics and writing exercises.

She smells the new notebook, taking her black pen to write the date on the front.

It comes back to her. It’s not new, but something she thinks she wrote once before.

“Please don’t ever become a stranger, whose laugh I could recognize, anywhere,” she sings two, three, ten times changing tunes ‘til one comes better than the others. Temptation is strong. She returns to the living room, turns on the fire, tucks Mikah under the blanquet that fell to the ground. She sits nearby at the piano.

She plays softly the piano, not wanting to wake Mikah up. He’s always been a heavy sleeper and the song’s tune is not too loud. She repeats and repeats, stopping to catch in her note book what she likes.

She remembers to record herself, like Mikah tells her to do and that’s when she finds again unread messages that makes her heart flip over.

Maxie: alive and showered, my duty here is done.

Maxie: we’re on our way back to London.

Maxie: tomorrow I should go back to Monaco.

Maxie: are you alive?

Annie P: I am.

Annie P: should = will?

Her fingers play nervously the notes she had played before, but her mind is now focused on her screen returning to life. The notes escape her, she stops the recording.

Maxie: what?

Annie P: you should return to Monaco, is it negotiable?

Maxie: Victoria and mom are coming with the kids.

Annie P: kids?

Maxie: Luka and Lio, Victoria’s.

Annie P: uncle Maxie?

Maxie: … uncle Max.

Annie P: uncle Maxie! 

@labelledejourr @jeconnaismeslimitesus

[annetictac]

Like I used to watch you sleep - Chapter 7

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

CHAPTER 7

It’s little less than half an hour before midnight when they find each other again. She had been dancing with Rachel and for a little even with Lando to the metallic electronic music that reigned the dance floor. She had found anonymity between the crowded dancing bodies, the predominant darkness and eventual light flashes. Rachel was happy jumping and swaying her hips to the music. Anna was hot and thirsty, with little signs she told her friend and Lando she’d be out for a bit. Rachel’s arm around Lando’s neck told her she might not be missed. Mikah was nowhere to be found.

Anna found Max leaning in a corner alone, tending the last remains of a drink, stealing glances to the crowd where he imagined she was still dancing. Instead of the drink she had been craving she decided to indulge into catching him alone.

“Hey there stranger,” she greeted as she held her hair up while fanning herself with her free hand. He startled for a second, not expecting her.

“Gave it all on the dance floor?” he retorts quickly gaining back his composure, glancing the long lines of her neck. She laughs easily, something flutters within him.

“Didn’t see you there though,” she adds brushing her hair down to the side. “Did you forget the little moves I taught you?” she asks cheekily.

“Were you looking for me?” Max counters not answering hers, stepping a bit closer.

“Maybe,” she answers in a singsong voice, glancing up at him, her hands feeling fidgety. They stare directly shamelessly into each other’s eyes. And Anna folds, when she begins to feel the blush covering her face.  “Congratulations are in order I’ve been told,” she offered, not wanting the awkwardness of silence to settle between them. When they were together, she had found much comfort in his silence, because then she could read him like a magazine. Now she dreaded it, they weren’t that comfortable. Yet, something within her added.  He nodded without giving much, like he would often do when he was uncomfortable. Yet his eyes never left her, studying her. She had to force herself for the tenth time, to stop a hand from brushing a wild lock from his eyes. “I wanted to call you,” she heard herself say, “... to congratulate you”. His eyes had been scanning her fidgety hands, turned back to hers surprised at the admission. She smiled sheepishly, perhaps she had learned something from his boldness.

“Why didn’t you?” he asked encouraged by her brashness, eyes curious. He felt himself return to his 22-year-old self, looking for her opinion and approval of nothing and everything.

“I thought … you might not want to hear from me,” she continued, eyes on each other. She hadn’t drunk that much to blame the alcohol of her honesty.

“I didn’t for a while after we-” he confessed nodding, eyes dropping without ending the phrase, his eyes revealing that he had been as burned as her for the sudden break-up.  “I did though,” he added, noticing she had left for a moment a flash of something he didn’t like in her eyes passing through, wanting to bring her back to him. She frowned confused. “I wanted to hear from you when I won,” he continued, gaining a slow grin making its way over her face.  

“Then congratulations Max, I was -  am -  very happy for you,” she said fondly, her hand squeezing his arm, eyes locked together. Someone accidentally pushed her forward as the crowd began to assemble near the screen that kept the count down. Max let something slip in dutch, as he turned them, arms protectively around her waist. “That wasn’t very nice” she said as she helped herself with his arm to settle, not letting him go. He laughed openly, slight blush covering his cheeks.

“Have you been practicing?” he asked, leaning into her ear, leaving goosebumps. She laughed back, taking a little of distance, to be able to see his face, hoping her blush could be attributed to something other than him.

“I could never forget all the curse words you’ve taught me,” she says back nudging him fondly with her elbow. It’s strange.

“I heard also that you might make an appearance at the races this season?” he continued, leaning again closer to her, his arm sliding around her waist softly, more confidently as he notices she’s not rejecting to be this close. She nodded, eyes slipping to his lips.

“They’ll announce next week I think,” she replied absently, her mind taking her back to how well his lips had worked with hers. For some reason she can’t seem to gather why she had wanted to stay in the dance floor before.

“Lucky us,” he added leaning closer, his lips touching softly the shell of her ear, as his arm surrounding her waist slightly tightens his hold on her. One of her hands has made its way over his chest. His whole focus is on her, his eyes not letting her look away.   

“Anna! There you are!” Mikah pushed, with excuses, to the fancy people he bumped to get to them. Anna noticed then that during the interim they had been pushed slowly away from where they had first bumped into each other near the bar, and the crowd has thickened.  “Champagne darling!”, he gave her a glass carrying another for himself and a third one presumably for Rachel. “Where’s Rache?” he asked, quickly giving a quick glance at Max’s arm still casually holding her waist, as his thumb absently brushed her lower naked back.

“Dancing with Lando I think,” she answers, glancing at Max for confirmation, who nods.

“Do you want it mate?” Mikah asked offering the third champagne glass, Max thanks him. “Ten minutes ‘til 12!” he announces walking back into the crowd not before giving Anna a shameless wink.

Comfortable silence settles as they both take an automatic sip from the flutes.

“Do you want to be in the middle of it?” He asks when they notice the screens show a couple of minutes left for the arrival of the New Year without any of their friends nearby.

“Not really,” she confesses and he takes it as direction to take them farther back to the gardens. Close enough to see the celebrations but not to be tripped and pushed by the thickening crowd. He notices her shivering, his hand now fully brushing her cold back. He doesn’t think much before taking off his jacket. Offering silently his jacket to her, Anna hesitates. He doesn’t. Before she could say anything, she was engulfed in his cologne and warmth. It took a big part of her self-control to smell it shamelessly, she had always loved his cologne and he hadn’t changed it. She takes it gratefully, warmth welcome. She indulges after few seconds, into taking in his cologne, eyes closing mechanically. When she opens up, his pleased face is taking her in.

The countdown begins.

10, 9, 8…

She’s taken into his arms, lips finding themselves easily. Her hands scratch the back of his neck as he opens his lips, tongues teasing. It’s both new and familiar at the same time.

They break, eyes closed, arms not willing to let go. He nips her lips again shortly, teasing her into a second kiss. Her hands touch softly his cheeks, as his press her lower back into him. The second is more urgent than the first. His lips battling hers, a moan escapes her and his fingers tighten his grip on her.

“We-“ she begins but Max interrupts kissing her again, one of his hands guiding her neck into leaning so he can continue kissing the edge of her face, into her neck. His nose nuzzles under her ear before steamily kissing where her collarbone meets her neck. Her fingers return to the back of his neck, scratching him slightly, probably leaving red marks.

He only gets a second of clarity of where they are, enough to break from her. Her dozed molten honey eyes meet him confused. He arranges his jacket over her shoulders, glancing around for witnesses but most people are well into the celebrations. He’s drunk on her but not enough to forget that even though nor camaras are allowed in, gossip is just as harmful and she always gets the worse end of the stick.

It takes them a few minutes of walking as quickly as her heels will allow her before they find an empty coat room. They stumble inside, lips meeting once again.

His coat drops quickly on the floor as his hands take their time to explore freely.

“Max,” she mutters as she battles his tie. He humms in response as he resumes kissing her neck ‘til he gains a moan in return and she presses her hips to him. His hands have raised the end of tight dress over her hips, his fingers rushing to find the top of her stockings.

“We shouldn’t,” she mutters absently as he takes a knee to put the last working brain cells into lowering her stockings. He stops, hands falling away from their mission, eyes looking up at her confused. She bites her lip, shutting down her sabotaging brain as she helps him with the stockings. He stands kicking her shoes away, more hesitant than before. His eyes capture hers.

“You sure?” he asks his eyes looking for uncertainty in hers. She answers kissing him, bringing out the urgency once again from him. Her fingers open a few buttons of his shirt, his hands softly and carefully finding her centre. She loses focus for a second and his fingers getting reacquainted with her folds, she raises one of her legs, supporting herself with the furniture. She releases his belt easily, pressing her hand to the tightness of his pants. He pushes her hands away for leverage, pushing two fingers into her. “Fuck!” he breaths out when he notices how wet she already is. She moans in approval as he begins to touch her slowly, eyes closed, hand on his neck helping herself with balance. His fingers leave her, making her open her eyes in confusion just to see him lick his fingers. She kisses him then, tasting herself through him, while she finishes to push his pants down, his shaft bouncing free.

They giggle like little kids when he almost makes them fall through the coat rack trying to push into her. The kiss sloppily as they touch as if it was the first time they’d been in this situation. Finally, she turns her back to him, hands grabbing the rails, pushing her hips back. His hands stroke her naked cheeks pushing them apart, lining himself with her. He slowly slides into her as he flushes her naked back to him. For a moment they stay quiet and still, savouring the feeling of fulness, ‘til she moves her hips asking him without words to move, which he does.

It's not a conscious decision but as he pushes in and out, she notices a small mirror that allows her to see his face. His eyes are shut in pleasure, his mouth slightly open. And then she knows she had never seen something so hot.

“Open your eyes,” she orders, taking one of his hands over her hips, to her clitoris. He opens them, lost when he also notices the mirror. He smiles shamelessly as he kisses her neck and touches her.

“I’m close Annie,” he mutters, not losing rhythm. She hums and places her hand over his, to help him get her to the finish line. “Fuck Annie! You are so-”, he doesn’t finish as he slips out to come over the floor. “Fuck,” he mutters again. He doesn’t wait much before he kisses her neck softly, once again his fingers returning to their work, he makes her turn to have better reach, and it’s not long before she’s coming on his fingers, his name on her lips.

They arrange themselves in silence again, stockings forgotten as they use them to clean away the evidence. He stops her when she goes to open the door.

“I-“he begins, words failing him. Something clicks inside of her as she doesn’t need him to speak to know he wants to know she doesn’t regret it. She kisses him slowly, with purpose, his hands once again hold her close, pushing her into the closed door.

“I can’t think of a better way to begin a new year than this,” she says once they break, noses pressed together. He laughs sheepishly, feeling lighter than he has in ages.

“I’ve been told they have a mean buffet,” he says eyes on her.

“Now?” she wonders out loud not wanting to be the one to break them completely apart.

“B-Breakfast,” he stutters nervously, as if some minutes ago he hadn’t been buried deep within her. Her mouth draws a perfect O. “I have a room upstairs,” he continues when no response comes from her.

“I can’t,” she finally says, making him take a minuscule step back, to be able to see her face fully. “I don’t know if the hotel’s been completely vetted… “she adds sheepishly.

“Vetted?”

“NDA’s for the hotel staff, avoid leaks…” she continues brushing his hair back. She touches his face softly trying to memorize it again.

“Oh,” he mumbles understanding.

“I know the party had some sort of control, but I don’t-“”

“It’s ok,” he eases, glancing down, using his fidgeting hands to tuck his shirt back inside of his trousers. She bits her lip nervously.

“Max,” she calls taking his hands in hers. She pulls him in intending for a kiss but ends hugging him. She feels a knot form inside of her reminding her of the last time she held him like this. She feels her eyes begin to water when she stops herself from going down that road.  

There were many things they wanted to say. Many questions they had kept hidden at the back of their heads. Maybe they would get another opportunity to share them but for now this would have to do.

Chapter 8

@labelledejourr

@jeconnaismeslimitesus

[annetictac]

Like I used to watch you sleep - Chapter 6

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

CHAPTER 6

Lando had elbowed him as discreetly as he could, stopping Max from his thorough investigation of his ex-girlfriend. He had been caught by Lando looking at her from the moment he had seen her across the crowd. He had been nursing the last of his first drink, having a hard time following the conversation between Lando and Martin when people had parted like some biblical scene, to let her pass without much obstacle. There had been some who had greeted her and many more who turned far from discreet to corroborate her presence and whisper with their friends. It had been his staring that had warned Martin to also look in her direction, and her companions.

Anna who had been haunting his thoughts and his social medial for the last couple of weeks.

It had been innocent enough, a naïve click on an article about her that had warned his algorithm to include everything it could about her in his feed. Her face would appear and his finger would react to scroll quickly to avoid it – paranoia that someone might see growing at the back of his mind -, perhaps once or twice he had indulged into seeing a clip of her latest performances. He had wanted to ask any of his friends for help to keep her off his social media but he knew it would difficult to explain as most of his closest friends knew the association with Anna.

And here she was.

Algorithms were dangerous indeed.

Without much notice, Martin had called out Mikah who had beelined to meet them, bringing Anna with him and another girl who Max barely recognized from some clip. A hug here and there and she was dropped in front of him barely showing the toothy grin he had grown to love so many years ago. Confident red lips.

Do you think I can pull it off? She had asked him once so long ago, biting her lip, eyes wide with a naivety long lost. He had answered by pulling her over his shoulder and leaving rests of her rouge across the white linen as he showed her how much she could pull it off.

Max had been surprised of her presence but even more of the thing that had installed itself without any permission in his chest as he touched her. He had been taken to the first time they had met, when he had made a fool of himself with the damn luck she hadn’t cared.

It had been a party at Martin’s place. After Daniel had convinced him to go, he had regretted it from the moment he had stepped into the stylish loft. He hadn’t been in the mood for a party, he’d spent the afternoon with his father who had decided to point out everything he had done wrong the last races. Daniel had been aware of his mood, knowing when Jos stayed with Max the latter would be sour for days. So, the Australian had forced him to go out, to disconnect, tried joking to make him relax but it hadn’t really worked well.

“Maxie, get us some drinks at least,” Daniel had ordered pushing the younger driver away to the kitchen, after his last joke had gone above the dutch driver’s head. Max had left without giving much fight, hearing Martin ask Dani what was his problem.

He had trouble getting to the kitchen, worsening the feeling of regretting ever leaving his hotel room. He’d opened the fridge, knowing the others hadn’t told him what they wanted to drink and he couldn’t remember what they had been drinking. Beers for everyone it would be.

“Can I help you?” a voice broke him from standing without doing anything. He turned to see a waitress all dressed all in black. A pretty waitress, a voice inside admitted. Her hair was styled in a high ponytail, big round eyes with long lashes looking at him with curiosity.

“I wanted a drink,” he snapped, regretting his hard tone immediately. The girl laughed, honey-coloured eyes shining bright, paying no mind, hushing him away with her hands.

“That much I gathered,” she conceded nodding. “Want me to make a suggestion?” She grabbed a couple of bottles. She opened them without waiting for his answer. “A beer is always a good place to start,” she continued handing him one. “Try it”. He took a sip, her order not leaving him much choice, he winced when the bitter taste reached him. She opened a second one, took the first bottle and handed him the second one.

“Should you be opening bottles only to try them?” he asked taking a sip from the second one, she beamed in response.

“I don’t think they’ll miss them much,” she shrugged grabbing a glass and pouring generously what looked like an expensive hard liquor bottle.

“Won’t your boss mind you drinking from his stash?” Max continued his inquiry taking another sip from the second bottle that was growing on him.  There was a flash of confusion in her eyes before her smile turned positively naughty. She leaned into him, making him impossibly nervous for the first time in ages, replacing whatever anger had remained from his frustrating afternoon.

“I won’t tell if you don’t,” her eyebrows wiggled quickly, lips bitten, eyes glowing in excitement. She did have lovely lips, Max noted. Someone entered the kitchen bumping Max into the waitress, who chuckled and stepped back from him. They had to move to a side to allow the unwelcome newcomer from taking something quickly giving them a weird look.

“I’m distracting you,” Max muttered awkwardly remembering she was at work. “I’m Max by the way,” he added scratching the back of his head. How many times had Daniel told him he only had to drop his profession to help his game with the ladies?

“Anna,” she returned smiling widely. She clinked his bottle with her glass before taking another gulp from hers. She gained a snort from him before he left the kitchen, his mood much lighter.

The rest of the evening passed without much incident; he had tried catching Anna for the rest of the night but he hadn’t seen her, not when he had gone many times for refills.  Dani was distracted, linked with a leggy blonde saying whatever passed through his head.

“Max? You’ lookin’ for somethin’?” Martin asked quickly, as Max had been stretching to watch once again to the swinging doors of the kitchen to no avail. “Or someone?”

“The waitress,” Max answered, alcohol preventing him from lying.  Now it was Martin’s time to frown.

“The what?”

“Waitress, long brown hair, quick witted, likes expensive alcohol, very pretty…”

“Mate, there are no waitresses hired,” Martin continued confused. It was time for Max to frown in drunken confusion.

“Did she offer you something?” Dani inserted himself, unlocking herself from the blonde, who stumbled into the chair nearby.

“No, no!” Max was quick to deny as he got the lewd undertone. “I just, we talked for a few, she was … nice,” he finished lamely. “Anna! She said her name was Anna!”

“I don’t know any-“Martin’s eyes widened quickly as he began to laugh while he searched for his phone in his pockets, his fingers scrolling quickly. “Fuck mate!” he muttered still chuckling as he shook his head.

“You know who it is?” Max questioned leaning to see what Martin was looking for, the photo of Anna was quickly placed on the screen. “Yeah that’s her!” Martin then increased the volume and madness of his laughter, passing the phone to Daniel.

“Max seriously?”

“That’s Anna Pearson mate,” Martin offered.

“Who’s Anna Pearson?” The dutch driver returned.

“Dude, honestly you need to watch tv or something, she’s like HUGE in American, princess of pop literally,” Dani explained hands waving widely.

“Where are you?” Martin asked to his phone. “There’s someone here who’s been looking for you,” Max felt everything at once, eyes wide. Martin hung up with a grin.

It took maybe ten minutes for her to reach them.

“He thought you were a waitress!” Martin announced laughing loudly, when she reached to hug him. Anna was confused not getting the comment before her eyes fell on the dutch driver. Max felt his nerves vanish when she gave him once again a toothy drunk grin.

“To be fair, I didn’t know he was a driver!” she conceded, cheeks as flushed as Max’s. “Hi again,” she chirped as she settled by his side, his friends forgotten. Max’s throat felt dry making it impossible for him to summon words.

“He wants to say hi,” Daniel drawled, arm over Max’s shoulder pushing him even closer to Anna. She laughed loudly, her eyes not leaving Max’s.

“Cat got your tongue?” she tried again, her lips curling into a cheeky smirk.

@labelledejourr @jeconnaismeslimitesus

CHAPTER 7

[annetictac]

Like I used to watch you sleep - Chapter 5

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

CHAPTER 5

They closed the video call, smile dropping instantly. Anna massaged her cheeks profusely after spending twenty minutes forcedly smiling nonstop.  Lorena, one of her lawyers was tipping quickly on her phone barely glancing the screen, as she sighed. “I think it went well,” she adds when she notices Rachel and Anna are looking at her for a reaction. “We knew cancelling wasn’t on the table, so this is a good thing!” she finishes, glancing once quickly to the screen with a bright smile. “And after you finish signing the virtual contracts, it will be finally all wrapped up!”  

“I just thought it was going to be a bit longer, to be honest,” Anna mutters standing, brushing her skirt’s sides. It had been twenty minutes of reading he new contract and the clauses they had already negotiated. Both parts had played the role of being complacent with everything, bright smiles not wavering as they both took a clause or two at first they hadn’t fully agreed. Like her participation in some of the media the drivers had to shoot before season started. Or the bonus payment her crew would be getting directly from them. Neither part had wanted for any problem to stop them from finally signing after finally getting something that made them both happy.

Lorena tsks before shrugging, closing her phone with a louder click.  “Big bargaining had already been made, that’s why you pay us, this was just a formality”. She quickly ordered her things inside her designer bag, her heels clicking to the door getting ready to leave.  “Only something really bad could have stopped it”.

The last few weeks had been filled with last minute recording sessions, last minute meetings about the old F1 contract, last minute Christmas shopping, last minute practices. Everything has been last minute, but every minute had been accounted for. And even when Anna’s very organized persona loved her millimetric schedule, it had been comforting to see how the whole team had been able to wing it without letting anything falling behind. She was in good hands. Rachel by her side was distracted by her own phone, probably finishing the schedule for next week.  

The F1 contract had been once again signed to complete the alterations. The biggest conflict that had been holding up their end to fulfil it had been the very open ends of the contract. Once she understood what her first firm had made her sign, she had cursed them for days. Now with Lorena’s firm, one who’s sole purpose was profiles like Anna’s everything had been tied down nicely. The vague description of the performance she owed the organization from the fatidic first contract had been reassessed. They had been trying for the last couple of years to force her hand down with paying the same amount they had paid for the first run she had done four years ago. Now she would be performing once again, to which she had no problem to do so but she would be paid accordingly to her current status, not the former which had been the problem from the beginning. She was sick and tired of feeling exploited first for her age when she was younger and for her being female. She didn’t need the money, but she hated how they had tried to slip it past her as if her team would be stupid enough to accept it. To make her point, she had made the effort of automatically giving over a considerable part of her payment for a foundation, helping female talent for entering to F1, as drivers engineers and more meaningful positions. It was long due and much needed.

The F1 on their side had agreed in an effort to keep trying to increase the followers of the sport, trying to Super-Ball it. A performance from a rising star looked promising when they hired her first. Two performances had been considered a great success from them then. Now a full home run with the plus side of also having her participate as sponsor – even if it was more female orientated -.

Lorena left quickly, speaking with Rachel to arrange any other signature that was needed within the week. Once out, Rachel gave her a look. Her petite assistant was her right hand and partner in almost everything from her work persona to her more private matters.

Deal signed and done for, there were a couple of things in her mind she had been fighting to keep out of her head. She gave a short glance to some of the pamphlets laying over the table. They were examples of the 2022 season, mostly propaganda of the drivers. The protagonist being the reigning world champion, who she had to admit had only grown finer in the last few years.

“Now what do we do with that ex-boyfriend of yours?”  Rachel interrupted her assessment of Max’s smirk, making her flinch away from the poster she had taken absently.

“Max?” Anna asked confused, guiltily pushing the photo of her former boyfriend with the other drivers. Rachel and her hadn’t talked at all about Max. Rachel had arrived to her team a year after they had dated and Anna had avoided the subject of speaking about him except a drunken night, she had spilled the beans about him. It was true that the firsts few years after the break up, avoiding F1 had been the healthiest way Anna found to stop thinking about him. She had been more open to negotiations last year because she thought she was over it. She had been apparently in love with her newest ex, she had even seen his first championship win without feeling the familiar clench in the stomach she would get before.   

Rachel laughed loudly, interrupting Anna from her musings about the current world champion. “As much as I wish to know what’s in your head about him… I meant Robert,” Anna huffed annoyed, that was a sourer subject. And that was a more logical subject of discussion for their current media problem.

“I’ve blocked him already,” Anna said walking into her room with Rachel close behind. “It’s been six months since we –“

“You” Rachel corrected, shacking her head.

“- broke up,” Anna finished lamely. “I just, I’m tired of how this whole thing is being dragged around…” Robert had decided to make the first and only statement of their year long relationship on his own, claiming to do it with her. She felt used, which she hated. Now that the media was all over the gossip, the paparazzi had been increasing by the days, taking away any privacy she had left. They had argued more in the last 6 months than during their whole relationship, as he claimed he had done it to help them both, subtly threatening to accept the many invitations he had for talk shows and well-known magazines. Lorena had tried to suggest putting a restraining order on him but Anna had forbidden it, knowing the press would throw a field day with it. There was also the NDA he had sign when he began his pursuit of her that should keep him from any smearing he had planned.

It was Rachel who had suggested leaving for Europe, making the paparazzi chase a bit harder. Anna had agreed quickly. She would miss the holidays at home but she didn’t mind, after her Nana’s death she usually would stay with friends or stay home alone. Her house at the outskirts of London could probably serve well as planning centre for the big events they had coming up and recording studio for the last tweaks they had to deliver after new year’s. She would get the isolation she craved from the gossip circus until the next scandal distracted them away from her.

Once they arrived to London, routine was easy to follow. She woke up, trained and meditated in the morning, leaving the afternoons for voice training, writing and recording. She mainly stayed home, which she appreciated. The little free time she had, she would spend it enjoying the big state she had bough some years back.

The plan had been for her to be mostly alone, perhaps Mikah who was in London would come by to try new sounds or practice old ones. Rachel was supposed to stay with Anna only for a week but at the end she had been forced to stay the whole holidays away from her childhood town due to weather conditions. It had been the only reason Anna had agreed to going out for New Year’s. She had no problem of welcoming the New Years at her sofa drinking champagne on her own, but Rachel had been blue about not being back home, trying her best not to show it. For Anna the sofa was enough but she didn’t want moppy Rachel looking at her Instagram all night wondering what her family and friends back home were up to.

“Mikah says it’s the party of the century!” Anna exaggerated as she tried to pull Rachel out of the sofa. “We’ll dress pretty, do our hairs, drink the good stuff…” Anna pulled again as Rachel giggled and leaned back to stop her from her work. “Maybe there will be a cute guy…” she continues grinning, wiggling her eyebrows in a suggestive matter. “And who knows where we might end up waking up!” She wiggles her eyebrows again, Rachel still sniggering away.

“But you were looking forward to staying home!” Rachel countered as she calmed her giggles pulling back with her whole weight, making Anna stumble.

“I want to go out now! I’m fleeting like that!” Anna continued batting her lashes. Rachel rolled her eyes, knowing Anna would say anything for her to agree, and let her self be pulled out of the couch.  Two hours later they were in the foyer waiting for Mikah to pick them up. Rachel had taken one of her short black dresses, silver details accentuating her waist, one of her own long coats stylishly covering her. Her blonde locks had been curled and ironed to a half do. “I heard there will be some ballet dancers,” eyebrow wiggling.

“Stop it!” Rachel scolded without any force. Anna had been chattering away while they were dressing, trying to hype the soiree. Maybe she had been honest with some, and there had been some little white lies along the way.  There would be a Cirque du Soleil performance. Truth.  There would be a presentation by the Rolling stones. False. Fireworks. True. Parachute arrivals. False.

Anna hadn’t really put much effort into choosing her own look, having more fun playing dress up with Rachel and selling her the night. An old dark blue dress, backless but with long tight sleeves, make up simple but always with red lips. She had left her hair down without bothering to style it much, golden earrings brightly shimmering through her dark locks. Rachel had been more worried, like always into Anna’s look than her own adding and taking off necklaces, bracelets, rings, blush, etc.

Mikah came to pick them up on time. Exiting with drama the car he had hired, whistling and cat calling loudly at them – luckily she had no neighbours within hearing range -, given them long kisses on the cheeks before helping them on the car. A fifteen-minute drive had them at the reception.    

Anna had been surprised for the chic décor and the way they had distributed the different areas. There had been clearly a separation between inside – the music much more animated and party like- and the gardens – instrumental music with people promenading in style- . With champagne glasses they had walked to the gardens, coats forgotten thanks to the warming devices smartly spread. There was a no phone nor camara policy, and even Mikah whispered he had seen distributed the cancelling machines that avoided unwanted photos or recordings.

She had seen familiar faces, even greeted a few – a couple of actors, a former dancer she had on tour, a duchess -. She noticed excited glances going her way as she was recognized by most, she tried brushing them away looking down. She knew it came with the job but sometimes she missed being able to lose herself in the crowd.

Music she liked had begun playing inside, the first rush of excitement finally reaching her. It could be a great night if she let herself enjoy the moment. She had been about to suggest going to the livelier zone of the party when Mikah interrupted her train of thought.    

“Martin!” Mikah cried, taking her attention from the dance floor as he pulled her in a different direction. She drank the last sip of her champagne glass when she saw the waiter nearby, dropping it over the tray. She was lucky she had swallowed the remains before she saw Martin and his crew. Rachel gave her a hurried pat on her bare back but before she could turn to her friend to see what it was about, it had been too late.   

She hadn’t expected him at all, Max Verstappen. He most certainly hadn’t expected her either, if his widened blue eyes were anything to go by. Both standing in front for the first time in so much time. She felt time stopped and suddenly came back with force as Mikah pushed her to Martin breaking her frozen state.

Mikah had hugged and back clapped at Martin enthusiastically, saying something that didn’t reach her gaining a loud laugh from the dutch DJ. Once his eyes settled on her she smiled, having met him before many times. She had met Max at one of his soirees, hadn’t she?  

“You remember Anna, oi?” Mikah asked Martin who nodded as excited as Mikah.

“Of course mate! It’s been some time though!” She pulled her extended hand into a quick hug. “VMAs last year right?” he asked with a hand casually on her bare back. She nodded, still short for words and it was now Martin’s time to introduce her to his companions.  “This is Lando Norris, F1’s king of terror,” Martin said dramatically.  

The boy – man between Max’s and Martin had taken her hand within both of his to shake it eagerly. “I’m Lando!” he had hushed beaming widely, impossible not to return with out of her own. “I’m a fan!” She felt strangely shy at the attention, her eyes like magnets finding Max’s staring at her with the same determination she remembered.  

“Thank you!” she had said fondly to Lando, who she thought had a personality easy to love, reminding her a bit of Daniel Ricciardo whom she hadn’t seen in some time. “That’s very sweet of you!”

“Stop hovering!” Martin scolded Lando who was very fixated into staring at her with awestruck eyes. “I think you’ve met before?” Martin dropped subtly as he pushed her softly in the dutch driver’s direction. There was no need to confirm what Martin already knew well.

 “Hi,” she had muttered in Max’s direction, a small tentative smile playing in her lips, eyes meeting. He had smiled, which had also been unexpected. Anna had entertained the idea that this time it would go as the last when he had avoided her at all costs at some award show he had gone with his new girlfriend. Max seemed to sense her hesitance.

“Fancy seeing you here,” he dropped also hesitating with half a smirk while taking the hand that had stayed mid drop from Lando’s. They were still as warm as she remembered, a bit more callused. The smile didn’t leave his lips and hers widened in result. A bit of miscommunication had her pulling him for a hug like Martin had done to her, while he shook his hand and hers, ending in yet another awkward hug that ended soon. It still left his cologne all over her and the feel of his warm hand on her bare back. Anna felt her cheeks warming up, his eyes not leaving her.

Chapter 6

[annetictac]

Like I used to watch you sleep - Chapter 4

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

CHAPTER 4

The last two races passed by quickly. Since he had already won the World Championship there was some stress taken off. He had raced just as fiercely, trying to gain the maximum of points for the team. There had been many celebrations after the season had closed with the team, with his friends and some of his family.

The winter break slipped in easily. He arrived home, still feeling weird at the silence that welcomed him. Kelly had used up the time he would be out for the last race to pack away their things from home.

She didn’t want to give him any information of where they would go, probably one of her father’s properties near his. She had been clear that he was not allowed to contact her. If you regret this, it will be too late, she had said twice and so far, she meant it.

He knew they had been having problems, but when he brought up the conversation they had pending, he never imagined it would end up like it did. He had tried approaching it in a moment of calmness, Pe sleeping away in her room. They had been at the sofa quietly watching whatever Kelly had picked for the night – not the documentary which had never again appeared on their tv since that night.

He wanted to clear the air with her, to explain his side of things, applying everything he had learned from therapy the last couple of years. He had felt her frustration with him accumulating as the days had passed from the last time she had dropped the subject to the table.

Max had tried to negotiate with her, make her understand he didn’t want to have children now when he knew he would not be able to give them the attention he had lacked from his parents. His mother he only saw for shorts amounts of times, his father who was coach first, mechanic second and who was many things before remembering he was also his father. Max wanted to be there, not to miss anything. With Penelope, because they had to share her with her biological father, he already felt he was losing much.

And he couldn’t resign F1 just yet. Not when they were finally reaping.

She had tried explaining that it would not be that bad, Pe’s dad and her own as her examples of stelar intermittent fatherhood. That children really didn’t remember anything from those firsts’ years. But Max wouldn’t budge. He offered to accompany her in case they could freeze whatever they would need to delay it, in case that was her concern. But things had gone out of proportion quickly and she had snapped him shut for the foolish suggestion. According to her, a band-aid for a gunshot wound.

Kelly had given him an ultimatum, and when he had stayed quiet not knowing what to do or say, she had informed him they would move out by the next race. It had hurt him; he hadn’t expected it. He expected her anger like many fights they had had during their two-year relationship. A stray thought had even passed through his head at the heat of the fight, while they had been doing some pin- pong with their arguments to the other, of asking her to marry him as a compromise. So, he could prove he was true with his intentions. But the whole idea of marriage still filled him with dread, somehow that puny paper still burned too close to his father’s unstable unions and he had stopped himself before offering it as a white flag.

What hadn’t surprised him was that he missed Penelope the most. The ease that filled the room when she was there, when she would slip into his controls room to tell him silly nothings or show him whatever she had as novelty. He would find his cats sleeping over the empty bed they had left in her room. How they would disconnect from the world while playing in her pretend worlds.

He missed the companionship Kelly represented, having a partner that was so willing to align their life to yours was not easy to find. And she had been willing. Once they began dating, he had felt as if she had been made for him. Any other problem he’d had in previous relationships had been easily surpassed, there were no schedule problems that they couldn’t solve with the jet or the black card. Her modelling gigs, now less than before, would always be planned around his schedule. She said it wasn’t a problem, he chose to believe her.  Pe was usually what could be the toughest fit sometimes, because her father also came into the equation but once again, easy to solve since the court’s decision and timings were set.

Most times Kelly seemed to know better than him where he was supposed to be, what he was supposed to wear and to whom he was supposed to talk to. When he met Kelly, he had still carried the bruise from Anna’s departure, and he had craved the constant companionship Kelly offered. Max missed the good days they used to have, when Kelly had showered him with affection. He didn’t miss the bad days where she could freeze him up for days, and once even for a couple of weeks because they hadn’t seen eye to eye. Like she was doing now.

He had tried calling her, messaging her, even contacted her mother. But to no avail. She didn’t want to talk to him and wouldn’t let him contact Pe. He worried he wouldn’t be able to talk again to Penelope. Kelly’s mother had said as much when he had tried gaining information on how to contact them.  

Some days he felt dread over the holidays looming by. His mother had forced him to agree to come pass them with Victoria, his nephews and her. Which he loved but at the same time sometimes he felt out of place.

The first two weeks after returning from the last race he had done most of his commitments. He was now merged in more amusing pursuits trying to pass the time as quickly as possible before starting the new season. The simulator had been a great distraction but the restlessness was a tough partner to beat.

Lando offered going to London for New Year’s. Max accepted.

He arrived a few days before, staying over with Lando who agreed pleased of having a temporary roommate.

“Do we need tickets?” he wondered taking another bite of the prosciutto sandwich Lando’s maid had done for him. Lando laughs loudly.

“Dude it’s a private party, Martin might mix for a bit,” the younger driver explained gulping down quickly the rest of his coffee. “Today we paddle, tomorrow we party!”

Max was grateful for the distraction of his high-spirited friend. He followed Lando around leaving the younger of the two to decide most plans for the days they had ahead. For a bit he regrated not for the first nor the last time, not taking more action when the chauffeur drops them at an expensive looking store, Boss he thinks he reads before being taken quickly inside before bystanders can stop them for autographs.

“Lando?” Max questions annoyed when he sees the flock of four sales men approaching.

“Flow with it,” Lando announces before greeting the apparent lead of the flock. “Sal!” they hug with back clap included effusively making Max even more uncomfortable than he was two minutes ago.

“Mr Verstappen,” A serious looking forty something man greets nodding discreetly “Will you be needing any help?” Max notes an accent he can’t place. He nods.

“I think I might need something,” he says looking for Lando.

“New Year’s party, we want to look good but not Oscar’s good,” the McLaren driver announces, not giving more information. “And before you say you have clothes, don’t”.

Surprisingly it’s not as terrible as he remembers going shopping. Manuel, his tailor, has understood him before he even explains anything. He lets Max sit on the lounge, while Lando is trying out tons of pants and shirts, while bringing an iPad to show him possible models for Max. Then he brings only two combinations made for dummies which Max tries and decides to keep both.

He waits for Lando sitting at the comfortable sofas they have near the changing chambers, using the free time to check his phone for messages. Victoria has sent him photos of his nephews with the gifts he’d given them

“You must be an incredible boyfriend,” an older woman approaches, seating by him. Max doesn’t know what to say because he’s not completely sure of what the woman is implying. She chuckles. “Oh, I don’t mean Mr. Lando!” she clears quickly, he notes there’s a small plate on her black tux. That clears she works at the store.

“Why do you say that?” he questions curiosity peaked.

“You look like a patient young man,” a loud snort announces Lando returning, shopping bags thrown over his shoulder.

“He’s the least patient Gretta, don’t let him trick you,” he adds cheekily, kissing the woman on the cheek before signalling for their departure.

They do paddle that day, Alex and George joining them as they are spending the holidays in London as well.

Lando is a better host than Max gave him credit for. Without him asking, Lando has understood the distraction he needed, maybe Dani called him? Max realized he hadn’t asked much about the party, other than Martin confirming he’s also coming. The chauffeur dropped them at a mansion that Lando clarifies it’s a high-end hotel. Max stepped over the wobbly stones at the car drop, music reaching them easily. He arranges his new jacket.

“Mr. Norris,” a tall stylish blonde girl greeted with a perfected smile. “Mr. Verstappen,” she adds when she eyes him. “Your keys”. A small silvered plate appears in front of each with a magnetized card. Max was already beginning to feel freaked out because he seriously needed to ask more questions before saying yes to things. Lando chuckled under his breath, putting the card on the inside of his jacket.

“Relax, it’s not a swingers party,” Lando joked pushing him to the stairs taking them to the back gardens. “It’s a hotel, I reserved rooms – separate rooms – so we can hangover with style”, Max finally guarded the card in the insides of his new midnight blue jacket.

CHAPTER 4

[annetictac]

Like I used to watch you sleep Chapter 3

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

CHAPTER 3

It had been three years almost four since they had broken up, two years since he had last been in the same room as her – accidentally of course – and one hour since he admitted he had been avoiding her since that morning at his trailer.

“It’s not as if I check if she’s going to be at every race-”, he excused himself taking a big gulp, training be damned. “Just big events, it’s not like I was invited to the music events when we were dating, they probably didn’t know anything about me”.

“Yeah now you are showering with MTV invitations,” Daniel joked shaking his head. It was true that their socials hardly ever combined being from two different fields. The only time they had, he had kept himself at a distance, one of the firsts events he had been invited with Kelly. And though he had seen her get up stage to receive an award he had hardly been near her. “I mean I imagined you were somehow avoiding her at the beginning – don’t we all?- , but I thought you had heard the songs and maybe they touched a bit too close home”.

“I wouldn’t know, I’ve heard some, the more popular ones, but well…” he admitted nodding, rubbing his face frustrated. “There’s this little moment when we go to the states … you know they always like to invite as many stars possible or bring someone for an event or two that I think she might come, but … it hasn’t been the case”. He understands now the mixture of dread, relief and disappointment he would usually feel when they gave him the program – the only one he would ask with time in advance for the whole year. 

“Well, what do you expect?” Daniel counters. “I doubt she would just drop to see how you are, if she doesn’t know she’s welcome. I could ask Geri…” Max’s eyes double in size.

“Are you fucking nuts?” he snaps. “And I what, introduce her to Kelly?”

“I’m not saying that, idiot,” the aussie snaps back quickly. “Talking about Ms Piquet… what’s the deal between you?” Max shrugs.

“We are ok, I guess,” Max mumbles, eyes focused on his drink.  

“Really?” Dani scoffs. “Heidi said she didn’t think so”. Max looks up and they battle for some minutes before he sighs in defeat.

“She wants a kid, I’m trying to ..” Max huffs and rubs his face. “Avoid the conversation? The subject all together?”

“Mate,” Dani begins but Max glares and his stops.

“I know,” Max concedes. “I have to talk to her”.  They drank in silence for some minutes, not sure how to continue.

“It’s been what four years?” Max looks up confused. “Since you broke up with her,” he begins, scratching his moustache. “Maybe the whole pending conversation one front is making you see others that might not have been as closed as you liked? As many psychologists I follow on Instagram, perhaps some self – sabotage?”

“Maybe,” Max replied shrugging, another old fashion gulp. He winced at the bitter taste. “I just…” He begins but doesn’t find the words. “Sometimes I think about what could have been if I hadn’t…”

The doorbell rings repeatedly, probably Lando arriving two hours after being summoned.

“Lando doesn’t know right?” Daniel checks as he walked to his front door. Max shakes his head and Daniel makes signs of zipping his lips.

“Hello bros!” Lando greets giving a high five to Daniel who receives it with half of his enthusiasm.

“We were about to fall asleep,” Max replied dryly.

“That’s because you’re old old men, it’s like ten for crying out loud!” Lando cheekily replies. “Old fashion?” he asks once he approaches the improvised bar. “See? Old old men!” he announces victorious. “Where’s the vodka?” Daniel sighs, avoiding quoting ‘too old for this shit’. He pulls out a bottle he gained from Mazepin a few years back that one smell could knock you down.

“Comes with warning,” he explains seriously, taking out small crystal shot glasses.

“Well, what are we celebrating?” Lando questions as he serves generous portions for the three small glasses, taking a curious sniff before buffing. “Fuck, this is strong!” Daniel nods in remembrance.

“Celebrating?” He returns.

“Yeah! Did Max get renovated for 20 years, even if they have to chain him to the car?” The youngster adds gathering courage for the shot. He takes it quickly, wincing and airing his tongue. “Damn!” he manages to screech. Daniel hoots, Max joins him, less thrilled, shaking his head and playing with the brim of the small shot.

“Nop,” Max offers. “We are just being old men reminiscing the good old days,” he continues as he considers taking the shot, but finally pushing it away. It’ll be difficult to explain to Kelly why he arrives drunk home when he has a debrief early in the morning. It will be worse to explain to Christian.  

“Gosh, reminiscing, what an old thing to say,” Lando says jokingly. “Anyways what could you be reminiscing about? World champion for the second time and the season is not over,” He raises one finger as he continues to number “…great car – if the rumours are true, and you can tell me I’d only tell everyone at McLaren – Kelly’s smoking…. Her personality evidently is very importante and she’s just not a body- hello?, should I continue?” he rambles not paying attention to Max’s glare or Daniel trying to hide his snickering.

Silence takes place as Lando steals Max’s shot, cursing in low breath at his pour choices, while Daniel joins with his shot.

“Dudes,” Lando begins in his very best American accent. “If distraction is what’s needed, and vodka is rejected,” shot glass nodded in Max’s direction. “I shall have to follow one of the bests distractors known to modern society… gossip!” He climbs one of the stools, refreshing everyone’s drink quickly.

“Paddock gossip?” Daniel wonders wriggling his eyebrows.

“Nah, that shit is dead now,” Lando rejects quickly, stabilizing over the stool. “I should probably have something to eat with this… I’m starting to get dizzy,” he stumbles out of his chair grabbing the first bag of chips he finds.  He takes a handful and tries to eat them all in a bite. It takes more minutes of awkward silence while Max and Daniel wait for him to resume what he knows. He swallows exaggeratedly taking a small sip of the glass closest to him – Max’s watered down old fashion-. “So, as I was saying, did you watch Anna Pearsons’ documentary last night?”

Before he said this, Daniel had mimicked the young driver and had his mouth full of chips, that he half spit when Max’s ex’s name came to the table.

“Hear me out! Hear me out!” Lando continued quickly misunderstanding Daniel’s reaction. He took out his phone and began browsing his phone quickly “I didn’t watch it only because she’s hot! Which of course she is, I would say yes even if she only wanted me to follow her around to give her bottles of water. She’s one of the biggest song writers active right now, has broken many records and she’s in all an important character of our generation!” Max gives him a look that he once again misunderstands. “OK ok, but I think she will be! And look look!” Remote in hand he turned on the tv now in synch with his phone to immediately put a talk show neither Daniel nor Max recognized.

Max had not seen the rest of the documentary the day before, Penelope had woken from her nap and he had been playing with her for some of the afternoon while Kelly left with some friends for dinner leaving them for an early night. She had joked with him that he had to wait for her for them to finish it together. He had nodded with no intention of following through. He had no intention of finishing it, not pleased with the pitch in his stomach that had taken residence in his chest since he had first seen Anna on TV. It had taken him years to stop feeling the knot after they had broken up, he felt incredibly weak and stupid for feeling like this over an exposee of his ex-girlfriend. What would his father think.

“And also, apparently she’s single!” Lando added pressing play, breaking Max’s thoughts. “Was it this one?” Lando muttered to himself.  

“I mean she wrote to him what’s probably the most romantic album of our generation! Am I supposed to believe that love exists after this?” A young commentator said in disbelief. There are about six people seating in a room, most of them younger than Lando, only a women in her forties is at the middle acting like some sort of moderator.

“How could he do this to her?” Another asks.

“Men are assholes!”

“Wait! Wait,” an older female reporter interrupts the talk. “No one has said who left who, we only know that Roberto waited ‘til the end of the first part to be dropped before saying anything, which yes is a little sketchy” she tried to reason. “We don’t have anything that says what happened between them, Ms. Pearson’s team has not given any statement. There will be no crucifiction of character while I’m on the show”.

An image of Anna wrapped around a tall, wide brunet came up. “--- in fact, this is the only official confirmation we ever had they were even together”. A series of no more than ten photos of her and tall dark and handsome apparently actor showed consecutively through the back of the show. It ends with a capture of an Instagram post that reads something along the lines they had broken  up and the asked for the press to leave them alone. Dani snorted besides him.

“It is so douchy! They have never talked to the press about them and now he gives a f** (a bleep interrups) communicate without sharing it with her first?”

“We still don’t know if they talked it previously!”

“I mean she wrote songs that we call classics!” The first of the commentators returns to attack.

“Even if they were not for him, even if as she says she inspires from many situations not only one love, dude we are talking about the girl who sang the Can’t help falling in love rendition not breaking eye contact with him,” Another interrupts.

“He was the actor hired for the rendition, of course she had to stare at him!” Another counteracts.

“Rumours say they had been together as far as 2019,” A snort scaped Max, because that little he knew wasn’t true. “So even Last Kiss could be his!”

“And she was the one who made them hire him!”  The older reporter’s face revealed to feel the chat was going out of control, keeping herself out of the latest exchange of opinions when Lando stops it.

“This one isn’t helpful,” He mutters as he checks another video. “I saw a good one yesterday that spilled all the dish!”

“I loved this album because I gave myself the licence to write from different perspectives, to return to my beginnings,” Anna’s voice comments as a photo of a girl – her – no older than 10 was in a big desk writing away. “I used to write stories before I wrote songs and now, I feel this album is honouring that”. She raises from the chair and the camara gives a bigger plane of where she is. A quick assistant hands her a guitar once again. “This is an old one, but a good one…” She begins strumming.  

“We were in the backseat,

Drunk on something stronger than the drinks in the bar…”

 “This one is good,” Lance muttered in drunken appreciation. She kept playing in the back, camara closing the frame around her face and the top of the guitar.

“I hope I never loose you,

I hope it never ends,”

“Lando?” Dani interrupts, half amused looking at the younger pilot’s infatuated face and noticing Max was paying attention too closely at his ex as if she had been in his living room instead of his TV. Lando hummed confirming he was listening. “What’s the dish?”

“Oh she’s probabily going to be main artists in one of the F1 european stops,” Lando rambled breaking the spell of the situation.

“What?”  Max splutters.

“Yeah probably second half of next season,” He continues. “Apparently they are backing her to some old contract they had with the company that represents her”.

“Oh!” Daniel huffed. “I doubt after the last time she would be so willing to come back”.

“You are old! She came like four years ago, apparently it was a two-year contract that she summoned some clause to break it, they have been delaying and she only has ‘til next year before penalties”.  

“Maybe she prefers the penalties?” Daniel snickered not missing Max’s face at the news. Lando however drunk he was, his eyes narrowed information being processed.

“What do you mean?”

Max openly glares at Daniel.

“What happened?” Lando continued skipping between both older drivers to see if something scaped. Then he got lucky, Max was avoiding staring at him and Daniel was having a field day. “It’s not like you two …. Dated right?” Then Dani couldn’t hold it anymore and burst out laughing. Max’s face was all Lando needed for confirmation. “Nooooo!” He cried almost falling from the stool. “How the fuck did no one know?” Lando’s eyes seemed ready to pop outside. “Shakira has barely showed twice and we all knew she and Lewis are a thing”.  

“It’s not like no one knows, it was winter break, we ar- were very discreet and … Christian knows, Dani knew,” Max shrugged, knot tight. “It didn’t last long”.

“You fucking bastard!” Lando cried slapping Max on the back not sure if congratulating him or in envy, taking a quick shot. “Dani dude, you can’t have shit like this at home!” He turned to Dani sniffing the half empty bottle with fake disgust.

CHAPTER 4

[annetictac]

Chapter 1

Like I used to watch you sleep

CHAPTER 2

“A little bit of heartbreak here and there,” she says smiling wide.

“… I think most of us can relate to that moment, when a relationship is over, that you realize the little things that you thought were rutinary, that you counted on them to stay the same, won’t happen again”, she continues serious, brushing away her bangs from her face.

“Like a last kiss,” the interviewer adds up, she nods.

“Or watching someone sleep next to you,” she complements, nodding absently.

And with little more, Max remembered many naps he took with his head resting on her middle while she absently brushed his hair. He could pin point easily when the last time had been.

He had been a little less hammered than expected, from the festivities the night before. They had taken a long deck chair by the empty pool after breakfast, to enjoy the unusually sunny morning and the lack of people. He had climbed his way over her once she had settled. Without saying anything she had smiled, arranged her hips for his comfort, given him a kiss on the front when he laid his head over her tummy. The flicker of the pages of her notebook had lulled him to sleep, a few hurried scribbles from the pen she always carried around, soft tunes she would try and repeat. He fell into a deep slumber, happy, safe and loved.

It had been her hands brushing his hair back that woke him softly. He leaned slightly back, eyes squinting at the brightness of the day. “Good morning,” he mumbled, rubbing his face in her tummy, gaining a giggle. He looked up into the melted honey of her eyes, stretching. Max would have stayed there forever and never move again. Still ‘til this day a part of him longed for it.

She brushed a rebel lock out of his eyes, interrupting his train of thought. He escaped by rubbing his face again in her now wrinkled linen shirt. His focus shifting quickly, enjoying the feel of her, boldly nuzzling his nose over her braless nipple. He grinned at her, noticing the blush spreading over her cheeks.

“You know, on Mondays the staff is out”, he shared continuing his ministrations, adding a quick kiss over the tip of her breast through the thin fabric. She was now fully blushing, coyly brushing the hair on the back of his neck subtly pulling him for an encore.

“Really?” she asked, pupils dilated, doing nothing to stop him. He took it as consent pushing away the rest of the front part of the white fabric. A long lick finished to pebble them and a long sigh escaped her. He nipped, kissed and licked his way to her belly, his hands pushing away the rubber band of her shorts, her legs opening to accommodate him. “Max? perhaps we should go inside..?” the question unfinished by his fingers touching her center. She arched her back to help him lower her shorts ‘til they were only hanging from one of her legs. He arranged himself on his right elbow while his left fingers teased and touched her slick folds.

“You were saying…?” he murmured to the lower part of her belly as she moaned, for sure trying to stop the sound from coming. He found the rhythm she enjoyed her hand clawing at his shoulder. She would open her eyes confused and close them in complete pleasure when he pushed a second finger in. She bit her free hand as he chuckled while changing his position. He must have moved too roughly because the chair’s back fell into full horizontal position making them flinch with the snapping sound. She had raised her legs and before she could say anything or make him go to the room, he had slipped his shoulder under her knee and his tongue made his way to her clit. She swore something he didn’t understand and he felt her nails scratching the top of his head.

“Max!” she half moaned and for a moment he thought he might come like a teen in his shorts. The picture of her, dark curled hair fanning as she blushed all the way to her chest, eyes shut. He continued licking like he now knew she liked, finger pumping with steady rhythm ‘til he felt her clench, tense and relax. Her hold on his head had eased, letting him place himself once again over her legs, lowering her linen camisole, shorts and bikini lost over the end of the chair. She pulled him from the collar of his shirt to kiss him, tasting herself in his lips. Her kiss, as most times, when they were alone, always held urgency, her lips quickly making way for their tongues to touch. She leaned back just a little to whisper for the first time “I love you”. She kissed him again, pushing her hips to his.

“Ehem!” the cough broke them from their exchange, both dizzy and inebriated from each other. The hotel manager was a couple of chairs away. “You have a call Mr Verstappen,” he didn’t look directly at them but at the pool. Max didn’t want to know if the lack of awkwardness from the elderly manager had something to do with arriving just in time to have missed their exchange or having bared witness to other indiscretions. Max made sure she was covered -  she was- and stood up extending a hand for her to stand. She had discreetly taken her lower garments over her note book. And one hand intertwined with his they had walked back to the foyer sharing naughty glances. It would probably be business first and then pleasure. “It’s your father, sir,” the manager said nodding to the phone waiting at the main desk.

---

It was then that Max was taken from his musings by Daniel’s strong clap on the back. “Today was tough training, he’s already asleep!” the Australian joked. Kelly was frowning with concern.

“Are you alright darling?” she asked pushing her hand to his front.

“Yeah, just tired,” he brushes without any delicacy his hands over his face trying to take himself from still feeling her perfume on his nose, her taste on his tongue, he feels warm all over. “I think I’ll go to bed early”. Kelly frowned deeper.

“- times is easier than others. Some songs come to life in a day, others you can battle them for years and never finish them”, her voice continued as they showed clips of different study with her working on them. Different seasons if her hair was any indication.

“It’s only four,” Kelly added. She touched his front again like she would do for Pe whenever they suspected she’d taken ill. “Perhaps we should call the on call doctor?” Max shocked his head.

“Which of you six albums has been the hardest to record?” the voice – off the interviewer asks. The camara once again finds the most recent version of her deep in thought.

“I’m sure Rachel will kill me for this,” the tv stops, question unanswered and Max notices Kelly has once again the remote.

“I’m fine, just tired,” he repeated, taking a seat next to her.

“That’s probably my cue to leave then,” Daniel added, giving him another look.

CHAPTER 3

[annetictac]

Trying for the first time to post on tumblr.

Disclaimer: I don’t own anything related to Taylor Swifts music, no commercial purposes involved, nor to I own anything related to Max Verstappen or any F1 related. This is a work of fiction.

LIKE I USED TO WATCH YOU SLEEP

CHAPTER 1

Her voice comes clearly through the living room as if she was standing in the middle of it. He could recognize it anywhere. It had been more than two years since he last heard her speak candidly. He stops abruptly, Daniel bumping into him as a result.

“Wha-”, The aussie driver begins but stops once he sees Max’s ex face plastered all over his TV speaking animatedly about a song or a beat or something musical. Max is not capable of discerning because he can’t stop thinking she looks the same, but all different at the same time. Her nose still wrinkles when she smiles truthfully, her red tinted lips still go sideways when she is in deep thought. Her hair is different, it’s not as curled as it used to be. A discreet cough from Daniel interrupts him. A knowing glance from his teammate signals that Kelly has said something and is giving him a look. The recording has been paused in the middle of one of her big smiles, eyes looking straight into the camara, all across the living room right into him.

“What are you watching?” he asks quickly trying not to give into her quizzical look. He scratches the back of his neck like he always does when he’s nervous.

“Oh, everyone is talking about it, the documentary is finally out!” she gushes ignorant of your past history with the protagonist of her latest obsession. He didn’t even know she was such a fan.

“The documentary?” he wonders out loud not to anyone in particular. Kelly turns to give him a playful shake of her head.

“Honest to God! How can you not know about it?”, she questions smile wide. “If it doesn’t have wheels, it’s not interesting for Mr. World Champion?” She giggles at her own joke without expecting you to join her. Daniel bumps his shoulder once she turns, giving him another knowing look. “Basically, she has been documenting the making of the last album, and since it’s been such a huge boom- no phenomenon! - and they are also preparing the World Tour…” he stops paying attention going to the kitchen to grab a beer since he shouldn’t be getting hammer over a documentary, not when he’s supposed to be prepping for racing. Daniel follows him, grabs another and doesn’t say anything ‘til the sound of the beer popping open interrupts the awkward silence.

“I didn’t know you still avoided anything An-” he stops himself before saying her name, dramatically replacing it. “-her related”. He takes a gulp not knowing what to answer.

“I didn’t either”, he mumbles, taking another gulp.

“I thought everything was going good with-”, Daniel signals with his beer the living room, signalling Max’s current girlfriend. Max glances across the island top where the documentary is back on, his former girlfriend is playing the guitar, eyes closed, the melody as always familiar.

He doesn’t answer, walking to the couch where Kelly is sitting, legs crossed, hugging a pillow, following the lyrics with eyes watering. Max doesn’t see this, like a siren her voice calls him and he obeys listening the melody and the lyrics with goosebumps all over.

So I'll watch your life in pictures like I used to watch you sleep,

And I feel you forget me like I used to feel you breathe,

And I'll keep up with our old friends just to ask them how you are,

Hope it's nice where you are,

The camera man has been strategically placed and her eyes open as if aware of something, as she sings the end of the song. Eyes shining, her face visibly emotional.

“This is probably one of my favourite songs of yours, and that’s saying something!” the interviewer comments while she takes off her guitar. “Where did you get the inspiration?”

The camara has not left her face, the interviewer out of sight. That’s when he sees the small second of awkwardness in your face, before it’s replaced by confidence and determination.

“A little bit of heartbreak here and there,” she says smiling wide.

PART 2 IS POSTED