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It's kinda cute how Argentina just sorta reaches her hand out so she can have a border with Brasil 🥰

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“Back in the eighties dungeons were becoming a thing in New York. Guys would pay a lot of money to come there and have some dominatrix tell them what to do. I was making leather pencil skirts for a lot of the doms, with holes in the back so that guys could kiss their ass. One day I was fitting a dom named Asia, and I told her: ‘I bet I could make more money than you without wearing stuff like this.’ She bet me I couldn’t. It was all a big goof. But then I started really thinking about it. Asia was making $150 a session, and that was real money. So I did the same thing I always do when I get an idea. I just ran an ad in the back of the Village Voice. Most of these girls were advertising how young they were. So I used the word ‘mature.’ And I figured out how to write ‘Jewish Guys Welcome’ in Yiddish, and I put that at the bottom. It was some of the easiest money I ever made. I never let them touch me. All I had to do was be a bossy black woman. And I could do that easy because my mother had been such a bitch. I’d pretend to be a school teacher, or a nanny. It was the dumbest shit. I just kept inventing crazy scenarios. And the crazier the scenario, the more money I made. One time I heard about a dom on the Upper East Side who charged $3,000 a week to kidnap a guy and lock him in her basement. I didn’t have a basement, but I knew a limo driver named Dean who liked to hustle like me. So every time I got a call from a new client, I’d say: ‘You want to be kidnapped, don’t you?’ And he’d start stuttering like: ‘Duh, duh, duh, duh.’ And I’d say: ‘Listen to me closely. Stand on the corner of 5th and 18th tomorrow at 3 pm. Don’t be late.’ Then I’d call Dean and tell him the plan. It was always easy to spot the guy. He’d be the one checking his watch and looking scared as shit. So we’d roll up in the limo, grab him by the collar, and pull him inside. Then I’d lock the doors and start telling him what to do. Everything went down in the back of the limo. Dean just rolled up the partition and kept his eyes on the road. At the end I’d give him $100, because I was getting $250 for that.”

-Happy 81st birthday to Stephanie 'Tanqueray' Johnson. If you see her wheeling around Chelsea today wish her a happy birthday, and there is a nonzero chance she will give you a glow-in-the-dark dildo eraser. -Humans of New York

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The night sky on Mars

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I have the best friends lol. Look at this lovely cross stitch piece a friend made me!

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I love how funk carioca singers are making a name for themselves overseas and collaborating with big international names in the music industry, both because it’s very cool that people all around the world get to experience such a fun, uniquely Brazilian musical genre and also because I find it endearing how singers from other countries are sometimes a bit bashful about using the same nonchalantly, overtly sexual language that’s so characteristic of the genre. Like, the contrast between Anitta’s lyrics and The Weeknd’s in their newest song São Paulo is so fucking funny:

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Any kind. And if you feel like it put in thr tags your favorite kind/ why you dont.

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Listen. I have one of those. They are beautiful. Pratical in almost every way. Just a tiny teeny detail that ticks me off with them.

THIS MOTHERFUCKING BEAUTY IS A NIGHTMARE WHEN YOU HAVE TO PEE. IT TAKES TOO FUCKING LONG TO TAKE OFF, AND BY THE TIME YOU'RE DONE, YOU DIDN'T PEE YOURSELF ONLY BY A MIRACLE. AND NOW YOU STILL HAVE TO LOWER YOUR PANTS.

Besides that, I'm all for leg packs.

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4000cc breast implants :)

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26 years ago Fernanda Montenegro was nominated for a Golden Globe for her performance in CENTRAL STATION. Today, her daughter, Fernanda Torres won the Golden Globe for Best Actress for I’M STILL HERE. Both movies directed by Walter Salles. What an incredible full circle moment for my country.

SOU BRASIL COM MUITO ORGULHO!

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they tried to end brazilian cinema and criminalize laws that encourage culture. they are making sure that a great part of the population does not believe that the dictatorship even happened (or that the tortured, killed and disappeared people deserved it). fernanda torres win is for us, not only brazilians, but latin americans that suffer the consequences to this day. we're still here.

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"seremosresistencia: VIVA O CINEMA BRASILEIRO!"

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grand line more like gay line lol [proceeds to get executed starting the gay pirate era in the process]

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FELIZ ANO NOVO SEUS LINDOS!!! E i guess pros geingos fedidos tmb

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I’m paying to force seven thousand strangers to see a photo of my late husband having fun with his dog. Tumblr Blaze is totally worth it. XD

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avatar Zuko AU wherein is he learns he's the Avatar only after being banished wholesale to the Earth Kingdom and immediately goes. well. fuck. and proceeds to go on the most unconventional journey to master the four elements known to man.

first stop? well, he might as well check out the Air Temples. They're a good place to hide, since he's pretty sure all three surviving nations would like him dead. he ends up in the Southern Air Temple, and winds up laying the bodies there to rest... after he spends several days searching the temple for anything pertaining to how airbenders are actually laid to rest.

he does not expect to be greeted by a ghost once he does. The spirit of Monk Gyatso becomes his airbending teacher, until one day he simply stops appearing. Zuko assumes he's finally moved on, and decides it's time for him to move on. He wanders the Earth Kingdom for awhile, while trying to keep a low profile, and winds up at the Foggy Bottom Swamp.

...where there are apparently waterbenders who don't want to kill him. Sure, he'll take it. Huu is... eccentric, and he's not really sure he agrees with his uh. viewpoint on pants (or lack thereof) but he is a good teacher. after awhile, Huu tells him he should travel on to the Si Wong Desert so Zuko is just like. sure why the fuck not. and goes to the desert.

he gets taken in by one of the sandbending tribes there, and learns earthbending from them. he's pretty sure he prefers living in the desert over the swamp. the sandbenders he's staying with are nice enough, even if some of their younger members seem... well, assholes. said assholes sell him out one day, so he has to leave the desert.

well. now what?

(all the while, he's leaving behind the most eccentric string of rumors about the Avatar known to man.)