anivast-blog

[anivast-blog]

2018: Days #16 & 17 - January 16th and 17th

Dark

Been a rough couple days. School started again. Can’t really focus in all my classes. All I can focus on is her. I’m not even in love, and I hardly know this girl. But I can’t get her out of my fucking head. She just said today that she had to drop the class we were supposed to have together. I asked her if she wanted to get together tomorrow to study but it’s been all day and I haven’t heard a response. Just left on read. I’m sure everything’s fine but I just don’t know what to think.

I wonder if it’s just because I’m incredibly lonely. Just the fact that there’s really no one outside of the immediate family that REALLY cares is shitty. There’s no one that wakes up in the morning with me immediately on their mind because I’m their favorite person. I’ve never had that experience with someone. It’s starting to catch up with me. Starting to get really lonely. I’m sick of the same routine every day. Work/school, come home, maybe sleep, play video games, sleep more. Rinse and repeat, every day. I just need the right one to come along ASAP.

Redownloaded Tinder again. Let’s see how this goes. Usually I have shit luck when it comes to Tinder. Gotten a total of maybe like eight matches since I’ve started using it in the summer and have met up with a grand total of zero. I can never make it past the messages. I never know what to say.

Enough ranting about my shitty love life. Dad’s death anniversary was the 16th. I think it’s getting easier. Still think about him every day. I cried today, but I do that a lot less often now. I don’t know if the afterlife is real or not, but if it is, I can’t wait to see him again someday. I wish I could ask for some advice right about now.

Classes have been going alright so far. Other than not having Brooke in ASL anymore, most of the classes seem like they’ll be cool. Easy too, hopefully. No homework yet, but I’m getting there I’m sure.

About to grab some food with Perry tomorrow and hit the studio with him and his homie Koom. He mentioned wanting to work on a collab tape and get a couple artists on there. I’d be down as fuck. Will report back as soon as I can with more details (hopefully tomorrow if I don’t forget again).

- anivast.

[anivast-blog]

Forgot to add this to the last post. I got high and made this today. I’ve had the beat for like a week and a half but here’s the idea I have for the vocals so far. I have a good idea of what the full layout of the song will be, I just have to write it all now. I think this one will definitely end up on the album! Exciting.

[anivast-blog]

2018: Days #13, 14, 15 - January 13th, 14th, 15th

Last Weekend of Freedom

Holy fuck I suck. Figured I’d try to bunch these ones up though since it was a long weekend. Not much went on. More video games. More work. More weed. The usual.

Classes start tomorrow morning. I should really be getting to sleep as I type this, but I have a feeling I’ll be awake for a while. Probably gonna watch some Netflix or something. I’m actually really excited for classes. Can’t wait to see who all I’ve got in them. Maybe a new potential girl?!?! Find out next time on Dragonball Z.

For real though, it should be cool. Work is gonna kinda suck but oh well. The start of a new semester is always ass. I’m hoping my classes will be cool enough that it’ll kinda cancel out the ass-ness of work. Time will tell.

Tomorrow marks two years since Dad passed. Doesn’t even feel like just two years, it feels like so much more. It’s been just me, Mom and Jeremy for so long that I’ve sorta forgotten what life was like with him. Not forgotten him at all, just life with a father. I think it’s because he passed at such a pivotal point in my life and I had a lot of growing up I needed to do in the past two years. I’m a different person than I was two years ago. I wish I could show him who I’ve become and get some advice about my future. One day at a time.

Will report back after classes tomorrow.

- anivast.

[anivast-blog]

2018 Day #12: January 12th

Half-Off Sushi

Forgot to post again last night so I’m doing it the following morning again. I really gotta get into the habit of making sure I do this.

Another long ass day at work. It’s actually been pretty busy since the new semester is coming up. Nothing I can’t handle though. Nick’s been doing well so far. Hopefully he’ll be able to handle the first week of a semester. Spring is much easier than Fall anyways, I’m sure he’ll be fine.

The roads were fucking AWFUL coming home. I used to drive a big ass SUV, and while I do like my car now, the one thing I miss about the Mountaineer is it’s ability to drive in the snow. It’s so much harder to drive a regular ass car in the snow. Still made it home alive though, so I guess that’s good.

Played some Skyrim for a bit and then went for a run before going to pick up Randy and Nick to go smoke at our friends’ house. We had a cool little session and then went to Sakura for some half-off sushi. I wish I could properly describe just how smack those were. Fucking delicious. Plus we were baked, so they were that much better.

Came home from that and played one match of PUBG before going to sleep. We actually didn’t do too bad. Made it to like top 15 or something like that. Not a win, but oh well. Maybe tomorrow (or today? I guess lmao)

- anivast.

[anivast-blog]

2018: Day #11 - January 11th

Brownies Strike Back

Long ass day at work today. Nine hour shift. Maybe not a “long ass day” by normal standards, but feels long for me. Nintendo dropped a mini-Direct today and announced hella DLC, ports, and more for the Switch that are coming over the next few months. The big ones that I’m interested in is some Odyssey DLC that’s adding some new costumes, and a Dark Souls remaster in May. Those are gonna be sweet. Seems like they’re only showing stuff that’s coming pre-E3 too. Means they might have some sweet shit to show off at E3. Smash and Pokemon maybe?? I guess we’ll find out.

Had to help a coworker take pictures for a simulation today that they’re making. That was pretty cool, nice little break from sitting at the helpdesk. Other than that, it was a pretty average day. Came home and napped. Woke up from the nap and ran before eating dinner. Mom brought home some brownies which were SMACK as FUCK but have been giving me some stomach problems throughout the night. Worth.

I feel like I’ve been slacking with making new beats the past couple days. My problem is that I make a few that I think are fucking amazing and some of the best I’ve ever done, then I end up not making any new ones for a while. I’m gonna try and break that habit. Gotta get cracking.

I get to see Brooke next Wednesday and I’m getting excited. To be honest, I think I’m coming more and more to terms with the fact that this probably won’t work out, but I’m still excited to see her. Feelings aside, she’s a cool ass person and conversation just flows so naturally. It feels nice to have that type of friendship with someone new. It’s been a long time since I’ve made a new friend that I would consider a FRIEND. Obviously I’m hoping it goes further, but I think I’d be fine if it didn’t. I’m just glad I met her.

I’m hoping that I can maybe meet another girl in one of my new classes to help get my mind off her. I’ve been working out a bit over break and I think it might help with meeting new women. I guess we’ll find out lol. Confidence was never my strong suit, but maybe this daily exercise can help with that. Fingers crossed.

- anivast.

[anivast-blog]

2018 Day #10 - January 10th

Zombies

Woke up and ran again. Starting to see better results. Now I just gotta stop eating like shit and I might actually have a summer body by the summer time. Fuck yeah.

Worked for a few hours today, had to dress up in my work polo since we had important visitors. Ended up snagging a few of the chocolate chip cookies laid out for our visitors also. Not a bad shift. Came home and played a little bit of Skyrim before going out to eat with momma.

Tried a new sports bar near where we live. It was alright, the burger I got was fucking huge. Not too bad. Smoked a quick bowl before I went home (said I went and got gas) and got on Discord for a zombie session with the boys. It’s been fun playing zombies again. I went hard as fuck with it back in the summer but haven’t really played since then. Origins is still my favorite of the remastered maps to play I think. Ascension is still my favorite map of all time, but Origins is soooooooo fucking FUN once you know how to play it. So much to do, it keeps you busy every round. Not in a tedious way though. It’s cool.

Just about to head to bed now, got work all day tomorrow so my ass better be up bright and early. Made a few adjustments to a beat I’m making currently before I hopped on here to type this. Initially I thought it was done but now I’m thinking I wanna add more to it. It sounds “full” but also sounds like it might be missing a couple things. Maybe the vocals can help with that. I’m thinking about using this one for my album whenever that comes out. I’m trying to make this shit cool as fuck. Actually try. We’ll see how it goes.

- anivast.

[anivast-blog]

2018: Day #9 - January 9th

Coffee and Donuts

Woke up today and worked out again. Which basically means running a mile and then doing a bunch of pushups and ab crunches on the ab wheel. It’s actually been giving me a little bit of results though. I’m gonna keep it up. Feels good to not be a lazy piece of shit again.

Played some Skyrim for a couple hours and then once my brother left for baseball practice, I smoked a bowl and got some Tim Horton’s coffee and Timbits. Might kinda cancel out the whole “working out” thing, but it’s the last day of break that I’m off work and will be able to do this. Figured I’d treat myself.

Coffee and donuts is fucking DELICIOUS. Especially when you’re high. Can’t believe I never discovered that before. Anyways, I did normal shit and played more video games with my buddy Nick. Ended up cooking dinner (Spaghetti...also fucking delicious) and getting back on the gaming grind. More PUBG tonight, not a win though. I actually got off kinda early since I feel like I’m coming down with some sort of cold again. Hopefully I’ll be good by the morning.

Made a new beat today. I’ve been getting more experimental lately. Not like super crazy experimental, just messing around with synths. I have like 88,000 presets for Sylenth1 that I have never used before and I’m just now starting to dig around in them. It’s been fun, the last two beats I’ve made are some of my best ever. Let’s hope I can keep up the good work. My dude Perry said he’s working on trying to get me a placement on a beat tape soon. That would be fucking sweet. Day by day.

- anivast.

[anivast-blog]

2018: Day #8 - January 8th

WINNER WINNER CHICKEN DINNER

What a cool ass day. Woke up and worked out. Put away my laundry. Played some Skyrim. Not a bad start to the day. Ended up going out for a coffee in the afternoon and taking it back home. Smoked a bowl and ate some cookies. Just chilled for a bit.

I bought Zombie Chronicles for PC today. Super impulse decision. Hopefully I’ll get my money’s worth out of it. My usual rule is $1 for every hour I play. So if the game is $60, if I play for 60 hours at least, I’ll get my money’s worth. That holds true most of the time. I’m sure I’ll play these maps for at least 30 hours though. Love all these, they bring back so many memories.

Took a break from games and went to hang out with a couple friends. Both girls, they’re definitely my closest girl-friends. Always nice to catch up with them and see what’s popping. I filled them in about my love life and they’re telling me to be cautious. We’ll see what even happens down the road. I’ll just take things one day at a time.

Came home and played more games. Finally got a fucking win on PUBG. I’m averaging about one win every 60 hours of playtime right now lmao. Hopefully that average will get a little smaller. It’s kinda nice though. I feel re-energized with the game if that makes sense. Like the past 60 hours of agony is suddenly all worth it, and now I can get back on the grind. Glad I’m not total garbage.

- anivast.

[anivast-blog]

Be.

Be happy. Be sad. Be forgetful. Be loving. Be thankful. Just be.

[anivast-blog]

2018: Day #7 - January 7th

Roller Coaster

Today went from dope to sorta shitty to dope to sorta shitty. Roller coaster lol. Woke up and felt energized as fuck, ended up running for a mile straight. Good start to the morning. Did the shit, shower, shave routine and went to work. Saw that co worker again today for a little bit. Joking here and there again. Ended up finding out later on that she has a boyfriend. Maybe I’m just fucking horrible at picking up signals. I don’t know. Guess I can cross that possibility off the list though.

Came home from work and chilled for a bit before going to a birthday dinner for a buddy of mine at Longhorn Steakhouse. Hadn’t been there in a while, the food was good as fuck. I had some garlic parm fries that were smack. That was fun. Afterwards, everyone got on discord and shot the shit for a while. Ended up playing a few rounds of Draw My Thing. We used to do that a lot during the summer but haven’t done it since then. It was cool to get everyone on it again for another session.

I have news about the whole “album a day” thing. I think I’m gonna stop it. I was reading a thread on reddit today about the idea and it seems like most people generally seem to think it’s shitty. It’s hard to digest an album when you listen to it once and have to move on to another one. Plus, forcing yourself to listen to music rather than discovering it yourself makes it less enjoyable. At least in my eyes. Not that anyone cares, the only person who knows I was doing the album thing is myself. I’ll just stick to the daily tumblr posts and see where this takes me. 

- anivast.

[anivast-blog]

2018: Day #6 - January 6th

Fuck Me, Right?

Today is actually the 7th and I’m a fucking idiot. I was high last night and was so focused on a beat I was making that I forgot to make a post before I went to bed. Figured I’d do it now before I forget again.

Yesterday was alright. I woke up and did my usual shit for the morning. Played some Dark Souls III for a while. I finally made it past the first boss but there’s an enemy that I’ve come across that I have no idea how to beat. It’s probably gonna take a while. I don’t wanna use a guide for this game but I might have to.

Watched a bit of Parks and Rec before work and then left for my night shift. Flirted a little more with my co worker again. I still don’t know what to do about that. I’m so stuck on this other girl that I feel kinda bad about the flirting. Like I’m leading her on or something. I just don’t know what to do and it’s confusing. I guess I’ll just take it day by day.

I had to try and build a patio furniture set at work and that shit was hard as FUCK. I’ve been light on smoking so far this year but after that shit, I had to come home and smoke a bowl. Well, I technically smoked while driving home. Not safe at all. Don’t do drugs and drive, kids. Picked up some wings though and had myself a relaxing night of Netflix and FL Studio. I love nights like that.

Album of the day was “American Boyfriend” - Kevin Abstract. I actually heard this one before, but it was a while back and I wasn’t really paying too much attention to it to be honest. It was cool to finally give it a good listen. Pretty good. Kinda excited for what his next solo project has to offer.

- anivast.

[anivast-blog]

2018: Day #5 - January 5th

Garlic Parm

Got to train my buddy at work today. That was pretty cool. Hard to believe I’ve been working that job for over a year now. Time has flown by. He was only there for about four hours, after he left I just got paid to play some Mario Kart pretty much. Chill day.

Still feeling a bit under the weather, so when I got home I pretty much immediately laid down for a nap. Slept for two hours and woke up to some pizza that my family picked up. Even got garlic parm crust on mine, which is the only correct crust topper to get on pizza. Don’t @ me. Hopped on and played PUBG with my buddies for the rest of the night. Still can’t fucking win. What a surprise.

Album of the day was “The Sun’s Tirade” - Isaiah Rashad. I had heard “Wat’s Wrong” with Kendrick before this but never the whole album. It was cool. He’s not my favorite artist on TDE but he makes chill music. Very vibe-y. Can also be kinda boring at times, but maybe that’s just me. This would be an awesome album to smoke a blunt to.

- anivast.

[anivast-blog]

2018: Day #4 - January 4th

Illness

I think I’m starting to get sick. I feel it coming on. I’m supposed to train my buddy at work tomorrow, it’s his first day. Hopefully I don’t have to call off. Other than all that, today was pretty average. Long ass day at work. Made a couple beats on my laptop and played some Switch.

It’s kinda cool that I have a job that lets me do that. I work tech support for my school, and since we’re on winter break right now, there’s jack shit to do around the office. I basically get paid to make beats, watch Netflix, and play video games. It’s honestly a dream job. For now at least. I can’t see myself working there after I graduate. Mostly because I won’t be allowed to... you have to be a student to work there. I’m pumped to graduate in a couple years and get a real ass job though.

Came home from work and played some Dark Souls III. I bought it yesterday on the Steam Winter Sale for $15. Can’t even get past the first boss, this shit is hard as fuck. Super fun though. I’m tempted to download it onto my laptop and try playing at work. We’ll see. After Dark Souls, I ate some wings for dinner and made another beat. Super space-y, sounds a little weird. It’s like I fuck with it but don’t at the same time. Maybe I’ll spend more time on it.

The album for today was “CTRL” - SZA. I heard the track with Travis and the track with Kendrick before this, but this was my first time hearing the entire album. Damn good project. Catchy as hell. I can see why so many people liked this. I wasn’t expecting SZA to blow up at all a few years ago but I can see why she did with this. Awesome album.

- anivast.

[anivast-blog]

2018: Day #3 - January 3rd

Frustrations

Today really wasn’t my day. I went to work thinking I was supposed to be there 12-5. I ended up making it until 4:00 until I realized that I wasn’t even scheduled to be there today. So I worked four hours for no reason. Extra money I guess, but still a bit shitty.

Was supposed to hang out with a friend of mine but she bailed. Ended up going home and playing some PUBG with one of my buddies who I game with pretty regularly. Played like four or five games, got super close to winning two of them. Made some stupid ass mistakes though and lost. It’s starting to get a little frustrating. I’ve put over 100 hours into this game and only won once. Oh well, I’ll try again tomorrow.

Went for a quick run on the treadmill and showered. Ended my night by making a cool ass beat from a drum chop. Same one C-Sick used for Logic’s “Common Logic”. Always fucked with the drums on that track so it felt cool to make something of my own out of it. It’s pretty basic as of right now but I’m definitely gonna return to it in the future.

The album for today was “blkswn” - Smino. Fucking dope. I had heard his “blkjuptr” EP before this but never his album. Heard some good things about it and figured I’d give it a shot. I’ll have to go back through a couple times to pick out some favorites but it was all super chill. I’ll probably relisten at work tomorrow. I’ll have tons of time.

- anivast.

[anivast-blog]

Here’s the song idea I made today. Might as well post these as I make them. Also might flesh this one out more in the future. I kinda have a cool idea for it that ties into the higher pitch formant on my voice.

[anivast-blog]

2018: Day #2 - January 2nd

Productivity

Today was pretty dope. Got a lot done. Worked out as soon as I got up to get a jump start to the day. Went to Waffle House for breakfast. I fuck with diners heavy. Just the aesthetic and “feel” of a small diner is so cool to me. Plus the food is usually delicious.

Ran a couple errands and then went back home to decorate my room. We just moved recently so a lot of my free time has been spent unpacking boxes and figuring out what shit to keep and where other shit goes. Today I finally hung all the stuff on my wall that I needed to hang, along with stringing Christmas lights along the ceiling of my room. Everything came together pretty well and it’s looking awesome.

Went out to dinner and then immediately started working on a new beat when I came back. Ended up turning it into a little song of sorts. Like an interlude. I seem to be making a lot of those lately. It’s always when I get an idea for a song and then never flesh it out past like 1-2 minutes. The good news is though, writing songs is starting to become easier. I’ve learned how to sidechain recently, and that’s helping my vocals sound so much better. It’s been fun.

The album of the day was “The OOZ” - King Krule. It was alright. I can see why it got such high praise, it’s very original. Not exactly my kind of album after the first listen, but maybe I’ll go back and change my mind in the future. It does usually take some time for me to come around to liking a new album. I guess we’ll see.

Peace.

- anivast.

[anivast-blog]

One more thing.

Forgot to mention that I’m gonna try and listen to one new album per day this year that I’ve never heard before. I’m hoping it’ll help expand my tastes and I can discover a bunch of new influences for my own music. Today’s album was “A Crow Looked at Me” - Mount Eerie. I’ll be keeping my own list on my computer, but why not include the albums on here too?

- anivast.