angusffs

[angusffs]

ims ─ open

arabella: i just got off of work.

arabella: want to go get some drinks with me?

arabella: or come over and we can order takeout?

angus: drinks sound great

angus: now?

[angusffs]

willashq:

        “ i swear my tolerance for strangers should be pretty high considering i work overnight at a hotel, yet i still have the urge to KICK everyone in the face when i’m in public. ”

“well i gotta say-- it’s nice to know that i’m not the only one. and my job is to kiss ass for tips so i guess we’re in this together.”

[angusffs]

drewrosen:

“Acupuncture is the wave of the future. Every time I get off of the acupuncture table, I feel like I’m in another dimension. I’m almost certified as an acupuncturist. Want a free trial session? It’s free because… well, I’m almost certified. I’m great at it though, I swear.”

“fuck that. you’re not touching me with a needle when you’re not fuckin’ certified. i’m sure you’ll find somebody else willin’ to get an aids filled needle poked into their forehead, though.”

[angusffs]

alaskaalennon:

“I— okay okay i’ll stop.”

“you’re cute ‘til you open your fuckin’ mouth.”

[angusffs]

coltvns:

‘ alex as in ── you know what, if i have to explain it to you it kind of ruins it. ’

“is that joke something people normally get or...?”

[angusffs]

lvckyhqs:

☆ — “but what you don’t understand is, that’s like telling me to stop breathing. i’m not like you…clearly. it is, it is indeed.”

“you’re not like me? ‘cause what? that’d be so bad?”

[angusffs]

x.

[angusffs]

lvckyhqs:

☆ — “kinda hard to when you work in a place that only holds conspiracy theories and mythology in book form. but i’m certainly not complaining. c’mon, man; they’re weird but also cool as heck. that’s the point, they’re totally hiding shit from us. only makes it all the more interesting.”

“stop reading. that’s what i did and you know-- i turned out fine, lucky. it’s all kinda fucked, ain’t it?”

[angusffs]

alaskaalennon:

“honestly i can relate. we can be like trash buddies.”

“trash buddies? holy F U C K i think you needa just-- stop talking.”

[angusffs]

imsg - a

harper: nvm, i was joking

harper: where do you wanna meet up babe??? ur the one out & about

angus: i can just swing by ur place ?

[angusffs]

imsg - a

harper: i mean, that's debatable

harper: ughhhhh, i guess...lemme get outta bed first

angus: my parents hating me?

angus: lmk when ur up and ready

[angusffs]

alaskaalennon:

“welp a shitty joke told by a shitty girl. got any jokes on your mind?”

“besides my life? nah-- don’t think i do.”

[angusffs]

imsg - a

harper: do u really think i would know another person with that name?? honestly/?????

harper: seriously??? okay fine works for me

harper: i'm just starving

angus: i can't help that my parents fckn h8 me harp

angus: you wanna meet somewhere???

[angusffs]

imsg - open

harper: i've been watching crazy christians on youtube all morning

harper: did u know pokemon is demonic?????

harper: and on that note...want to go get tacos before work?

angus: you text the right angus?

angus: but yeah i work a double tonight so we gotta make it quick

[angusffs]

coltvns:

‘ i don’t know, alex, do you want to know ? ’

“the fuck did you just call me?”

[angusffs]

alaskaalennon:

“Okay okay soo ‘what does a nosey pepper do? get jalapeño business.’ Good god, I’m so lame”

“that was actually probably the shittiest joke i’ve ever heard.”

[angusffs]

lvckyhqs:

☆ — “okay, so what’s your standpoint on aliens ?? ‘cause someone came into ‘superstitions’ this afternoon and like, ranted for about 10 minutes on why ‘aliens don’t exist’. i obviously say bullshit to that. we have about 200 billion galaxies which means the amount of planets there are is like… ten to the twenty-fourth power. which is… a literal heptillion. plus, there’s so much evidence and believable theories to prove that they exist. it was just annoying because i bet they didn’t homeschool themselves on everything there is to know about space and conspiracies. they didn’t even get a freaking book.”

“jesus fuckin’ christ, man. you gotta start thinking about shit other than aliens and-- weird shit like that. but if you actually wanna know what the fuck i think, i think they’re real. i don’t think it’s worth thinking about all the time and if the government wanted us to know-- we’d fuckin’ know. right?”