angiepangiebabyy

[angiepangiebabyy]

At What Point...

At what point did this wall come between us? When was it built? Who built it? Somehow I ended up on the other side of it, alone. Why did you want this? What caused it? Was it me? Did I do something to earn this? I used to think that no matter what we'd still be able to come together. We could still laugh and be there for one another. I'm still here for you. I'll never go away. I wonder if I'm just silly. I don't know why I cling to being there. I latch on, never wanting to let go. I feel like it's something I have to prove. That I'll always be the one standing here in the end when all others have gone. I think I do that for you, because I feel like I don't have that myself. I think that there are people sure, that will do it, but if they really knew me, would they still be there? I'm not always myself. I keep myself hidden away. She's ugly.

When did you build this wall? At what point did you decide that I could no longer walk alongside you? When did you become so cold when you could warm me on the coldest day? You knew me better than I knew myself. Called me out on my moods and somehow, always knew how I was feeling. Maybe it's in my head...I'm building this up, but it was a big deal for me. It was important to me. You are important to me. In the book of the story of my life, you are a short, but very impactful chapter. ORGANIZE. Sometimes I look at the stone, some days it mocks me, and some days, I listen.

If I'm a big green monster, can I be The HULK? Why can't you and I be friends like you are with everyone else? I think of new ways, new things I could do to try and chisel away at this wall in front of me. Some days, I'm so far away I can't even see the wall. It's so far off in the distance I can't reach it. Couldn't it have been made with a brick or two missing? One single brick gone so that I can speak into it and maybe in passing, you'd hear me? Could we talk through this little gap? Why is it that everyone is granted free passage through the wall and I'm stuck here? If I were the Hulk, I could take it down, but if I did it by force, would I really be able to enjoy that? Who else would be hurt in the process? Would other walls sprout up and isolate me even more?

I sit on this side of the wall alone. I think about how I can reach you. I reminisce. The cold reminds me. Do you want to build a snowman?

[angiepangiebabyy]

Mommy Shark. @encorebeachclub JAUZ was fantastic. Can't wait for Hard this week!!♡♡♡ thank you fam @_kvnng.b_ @thatone_guyy @reinaluv_ (at Encore Beach Club) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bl1zVgwFfGy/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=lsguxugvt6fw

[angiepangiebabyy]

Cousins. Jaxxen is a prisoner in his own bed lmaooo #cousins❤️ #cousins #instadaily #instacute #babyofinstagram #babiesofinstagram

[angiepangiebabyy]

Words can't describe how much I love these crazy girls. They love and always seem to understand eachother. ♡♡ #libragemini #librababy #geminibaby #sisterlylove #sisterlove #instacute #instababy #babiesofinstagram #babies

[angiepangiebabyy]

That side eye... she sees through Penelopé's lies. Lol #sisters #sisterlylove #gemini #libra #sideeye #instadaily #instacute #photooftheday

[angiepangiebabyy]

So much personality in one picture. Penelopé's third. 😄😄 #peneloperene #vivianguadalupe #babyofinstagram #babiesofinstagram #gemini #geminibaby #libra #librababy

[angiepangiebabyy]

I can't believe she's already 7 months old! Why is the time just flying by. I love my chunk♡♡♡ #photooftheday #baby2017 #babyofinstagram #babiesofinstagram #instababy #babygirl #instacute #instadaily #vivianguadalupe #librababy #libra

[angiepangiebabyy]

To peas in a pod.@tu_papi_geo 😍😍 #likefatherlikedaughter #peneloperene #babyofinstagram #babygirl #instadaily #instacute (at IHOP)

[angiepangiebabyy]

Totally late! This chunk monster is 6 months already!! #timeflies #vivianguadalupe #babyofinstagram #baby2017 #baby #chunkybaby

[angiepangiebabyy]

Let’s meet on this,

COMMON GROUND. While listening to this, I feel like I’m in a different world. I’ve got chills that have no end. I have highs and lows. Sometimes I wish I could meld my very existence with the melody. My heart aches with every note, every lyric. It feels what is trying to be explained to me. When I put my headphones on and turn up the volume, I’m transported to a different planet. A different realm. The problems that exist, my stresses, my fears, everything, disappears. I’m no longer me. I’m this. Pause the music. Reality is loud. I feel like I’ve woken up from a dream and the coldness of reality sets in. Oh, here we go again. Put my headphones back on. Press Play. Ah, as quickly I was drawn out. I’m thrown back in. There is a sense of serenity that waves over me. These rhythms make me feel love, feel it’s loss, help me discover who I am, and who I strive to be. For you I’m Naked. I’m bared and I let you gaze upon me. I let it all free and show you who I am. Will you join me? I fill with confidence and steadfast resolve. This Sahara Love, allows me to see us riding together, along an endless highway, happy and determined. We’re carefree and enjoying every moment that is calm, blissful and natural. This is happiness without thoughts, with resolve. My heart sings at this point. It’s singing and it continues until I’ve reached forever. Happiness Amplified. It’s an joyous understanding of what this feeling is. I feel like I’ve where I need to be, with whom I need to be and it’s so amazing that I know now. I hear this and I wish this could translate into my actual life. I want to feel what I’m feeling now until I can’t breathe anymore. As it fades, I then question myself. Is this real? Is this what I want? Is It Love? How do I make this great feeling last? How do I cherish it? It’s you and I wrapped in eachother’s arms. The lights are off and we’re enjoying the moment. We look at each other and question everything and continuing locking lips. We think, even if it’s not, I’m not giving this up, I won’t stop the moment. Fuck it, we can fall the same way down, but this is where I want to be right now. Fast forward. I’m now questioning everything even more. I want to run. I’ve got Cold Feet. Then as I’m walking away. I’m walking a Tightrope. I’m scared. One wrong step and I’ll fall to the abyss that is below me. Can I do it? I’m walking along this and I’m just focusing on every step forward. Try not to fall. Don’t look down, don’t look back, only forward. Then suddenly, I’m Alright Now. “We tied our dreams up in a lover’s knot, but none of them came true.” “We fell apart.” To no fault of our own, our promises, our sweet nothings are gone, but I can continue on. I can be me. It’s so “Bittersweet & Blue.” I’m looking back at us. I reminisce and look back at our memories. “I guess I got lost today, but there’s always tomorrow.”  So what’s the truth in all of this? Always, will I love you. The truth is, my feelings are real. Maybe we’ll meld together again. I yearn for you. I’ve come to terms with how I feel and want you. Maybe there will come a time when we’ll need each other again. I know that my door is open for you, whenever you’d like...I’ll Always be in love with you. So in this journey, what have I discovered? That our Common Ground  to me is music and love. Every person in the world goes through these stages. Everyone takes a ride on this roller-coaster. What we’re all looking for is love. So my question is this, where are you on this ride?  

This album is phenomenal. When I had to stop in-between songs, I felt so incomplete. I felt anguished that I was interrupted. But having finished it from start to end, I’m calm, happy and ready for what’s next. 

[angiepangiebabyy]

[angiepangiebabyy]

The Pokémon Cafe has now opened in Japan! 

[angiepangiebabyy]

Farewell, Mr Hawking. I’ll always look up.

[angiepangiebabyy]

[angiepangiebabyy]

[angiepangiebabyy]

Is This What...

Addicts feel like? Is it even possible to be addicted to another human being? Am I freak for sitting here with a sweater and constantly smelling it? I don’t know, but I think this is what it feels like. I have to constantly remind myself, you don’t need it, just relax, breathe...I can’t. Every moment I think about our hands touching my hair stands on end. I get goose bumps all over and just like that, I’ve fallen into the memory of how that feels. Do addicts fondly think back on their memories? Do they relish in them and want to relive them? I crave it. I’ve thought of million of ways of how to make an interaction happen. To hopefully hear a voice, physically connect in some way. My happy thoughts are fingers just grazing each other, a quick glance. To relive memories I’ve reread old conversations. Laughed, smiled and sighed with relief. We spoke before, so we will again, right? All I hope for is a chance encounter and hope it will live up to my every expectations. Although, even if it doesn’t, I’m exuberant that there even was an interaction at all. Something. 

I’ve gone over the conversations to find the error in my ways. Did I say something wrong? Was I too blunt? Did I say something offensive? Did I make you angry? I feel like begging. Just tell me what I did wrong. Tell me so I can fix it. Tell me so I can make it better and we can go back to how things should be. Literally, give me anything to work with. I’ll do with it what I can. 

I want to run away, Not go home. I want to wallow in this puddle. Is it possible to drown in a puddle?

*Sniff

Another whiff. If this is what I have, then I use it right? If this is the only way to envelop myself in this scent, I should right? Is this how an addict justify’s their actions? Is this how we convince ourselves that we’re not freaks; that we’re not strange for doing this?