angieisnothome

[angieisnothome]

Was talking with my partner over text and I asked them a question, but they didn’t respond for an hour and a half. When I asked them if they were okay, they seemed confused why I’d ask that. Idk, it makes me feel anxious because lately I feel like I’ve had to pine for their attention and I think I’m a little bit traumatized from my last relationship where I felt like I had to beg to be loved. I don’t think amari is like that but it just made me feel so anxious.

Also I feel like being in a relationship makes me feel so small and makes me yearn for comfort from my partner, where when I was single, I sought that out from myself. It makes me feel like maybe I did get into this too soon, but I don’t know. I wanna give them and our relationship the benefit of the doubt.

[angieisnothome]

Adventure in Providence

July 13, 2024

I pulled up to Amari’s house at like 7 after a full day of band camp. I was freshly showered with lotion and perfume and my hair braided bc I had spent all day spinning flag in the hot summer sun and I wanted to be fresh for pookie.

Anyways, we did makeup together and I helped them pick out their outfit.

I drove us to providence despite saying I hated driving in providence lol. The urban planning is awful and the directions don’t tell you anything until the last minute. We listened to emo bangers half of the way there even though we were going to the club for what I thought was going to be reggaeton night… but after I said I was more in a headbanging mood than a shaking ass mood and was wishing I was going to emo night instead, amari put on some of their 2010s club hits.

I ended up getting really stressed when I was driving and when we finally got there I had to parallel park on my left when I’ve only ever done it on the left,,, all while “Get low” was playing. I got so annoyed I turned it off after three attempts and asked amari to do it, which they literally ate up on the first try… they slayed.

We ended up pulling up to the club, where we got in for free just bc we’re “ladies” lol. That shit was dead as hell, it literally had five people and it was REGGAE night, not reggaeton… no ass shaking to be had. We still danced together, their hands on my hips . We stayed until I started to feel a little too awkward and we went to go to another club (edited) and guess what. We didn’t know it until we got there but it was fucking EMO NIGHT at this other club. You could hear everyone singing Ocean Avenue from outside the building. I was so fucking hype because I had JUST said I wanted to take amari to emo night… plus I packed my docs just in case. We were there until I heard you had to have cash to get in which I didn’t, and amari left their wallet at home. So we left to set out for an ATM and ended up getting distracted bc there was a dock by the river that we saw and wanted to explore….

So we sat by the river and talked and kissed and snuggled and laughed with the city lights reflecting off the water I decided I was hungry and looked up places for us to go and ended up finding this little slider place that had fried Oreos!!!

So we ended up going there and it was nothing like we expected it to be. It was a cool place with nice service and they were playing really good music, like nirvana, red hot chili peppers, santana. All bangers I got a buffalo chicken wrap and some tater tot’s and fried Oreos for us to share :)

I had my Apple Pay open and they were like “no im paying” even though they didn’t get anything for themselves and I refused and went to pay but they didn’t have tap, so they ended up paying anyways (I sneakily sent them the money on cashapp after)

That shit was fire And they had a huge connect four (We played like 4 times and they kicked my ass. Every time.) Oh my god the food was so good

We were so full half way through but we pushed through.. we fucked those Oreos up!!! Mhm mhm

After I wanted to go to a park across the water I saw when we were sitting on the dock So we walked through the streets of providence Amari was nervous being in the city so late, esp since they left their knife at home (hot), so I held their hand while we walked And we just explored the city and came across a bunch of cool art and bridges and architecture and took pictures together Amari ate as photographer btw

And I forced them to get their picture taken bc they “don’t take pictures” and have a hard time believing they’re gorgeous when they so are!

We kept finding a bunch of nice places to sit and chat by the water and it wasn’t how I planned the night but I had so much fun just roaming the city with them We decided at 1 it was getting late and I had a bottle of wine I brought that I wanted to get to and they offered to drive home which stressed me out but I was tired and they weren’t so it was better for them to drive

They missed a bunch of exits which made ME feel better because I also missed a bunch of exits lol… providence is just annoying to drive in I played my emo playlist and we chatted and belted along But yeah Long story short I had a perfect night of exploring the city and adventuring with my lover, even if it wasn’t the night I had planned to have