angelicr

[angelicr]

Midtown Manhatten

[angelicr]

Dolce & Gabbana | Fall/Winter 2018

[angelicr]

[angelicr]

I used to lie in bed, close my eyes, and prayed to vanish and return as a light that travels so freely, bringing warmth as it passes by. As I stretched out my astral body on the mattress, I couldn’t help but wonder if time will stop for a while until I can catch my breath again. How cruel of time that it’s never enough, and all this cruelty made me a person who lingers on their desires and thoughts. So many summers have passed, and we grew up, and all of my plans have been altered, and I can’t help it if I’m waiting for myself to be myself again. Everything is spiraling out of my hands, waves of uncertainty are crashing into me. Have I turned into a form of light yet? Can I catch my breath in the intervals between me running away from my reality or attempting to write? I apologize for holding myself back from writing, as my longing for my soul to be whole was growing rapidly all summer. Perhaps the reason is that I have run out of ways to turn my feelings to be poetic and metaphorical tales, or it’s undoubtedly an evidence of my plan that reveals my heart’s truest desire to escape living in this form. I spent my entire life dreaming my whole life away, and my whole existence. I’m in between lands and dreams, aimlessly flowing. Am I a form of light yet? I envy the moon and the stars that are so stretched out and far in the distance, never knowing the growing pains. I wish I were a star. Now I grew up, and all my hopelessness turns into a devotion that exists within the blueness of my soul. All the weight I have carried in my body, could it be my mere existence? Will it be enough if my presence was to cast my rays on my loved ones and illuminate them?It’s a shame to admit that I’m terrified of my own light, if I shined too brightly or too dimly. In the abyss that resides on my body, I’m still trying to hold the tide. There is no fear of falling and reaching. It took me years to fathom the idea of my memories being carried by the weight of my body, and if I was a form of light, weightless, I’d be forever flowing in the abyss of the life I tried to hold on to. Until then, I will dream of a better life while I sleep through the night.

[angelicr]

[angelicr]

[angelicr]

Neil Krug outtake.

[angelicr]

this month is my only sweetheart

[angelicr]

[angelicr]

[angelicr]

[angelicr]

[angelicr]

Jøshua Zerø photographed by Nicole Ngai

[angelicr]

"To forget, to forget ...", Vahan Teryan (translated by Tathev Simonyan)

[angelicr]

kate moss by annie leibovitz 1999

[angelicr]

Solid bronze sickles of Luna and Solis. [x]

[angelicr]