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[angel-zerocal]

two days of restriction four days of binging woah

got drunk yesterday

damn my depression worsened significantly i have trouble sleeping and gettin out of bed when the fuck i will be free from my own mind

i'm getting my first real job in a week i hope being busy will help me to restrict bc yeah

worst part they have dress code and i will have to buy a bunch of new clothes and my body is literally not ready

alright wish me luck

[angel-zerocal]

had around 750 cals today

burned 690 cals work out and walking yayy

[angel-zerocal]

had around 700 cals yesterday

burned 570 cals

going to spend some time with my fam this weekend yeah thanks

[angel-zerocal]

i have anxiety bc i can’t stop eating it’s fucking scary

i’m very scared i don’t want to do this all over again it was so easy for me to snap back into binging and i just

the worst part is actually becoming bigger bc of swelling like it’s embarrassing i bought new clothes and they barely fit me now

i don’t know why i’m so scared all of a sudden it’s annoying

[angel-zerocal]

ate approx 1500 cals yesterday lmao

burned 550 cals walking and work out

took laxatives and now i'm in pain

why is it so hard now jesus i hate myself so much

at lest i made it one day binge free

[angel-zerocal]

had less than 200 cals today

burned 442 cals walking 27k steps and worked out

thank god i feel better

took a shower yayy and scheduled doctors appointment

[angel-zerocal]

the way food takes away absolutely everything from me is just

how and why

[angel-zerocal]

i neglect myself so fast omgg

i’m back and i’m sad bc i gained hella amount of weight

i know it’s water bc my kidneys aren’t okay at this point and i’ve been abusing alcohol but still damn

i’m so swollen my whole body hurts

i wasn’t able to restrict even for one day in the last two weeks like wtf is wrong with me

i’m having trouble sleeping showering even going out just laying in bed dying of pain in my chest

i hope i’m back man

[angel-zerocal]

had approximately 400 cals today

LETS FUCKING GO

two oranges an apple a nectarine some cucumber with soy sauce and 160 cals yoghurt

burned 450 cals yayy

i still don’t weigh myself bc scared af you guys

so eating up to 600 cals for july and working out bitch !!!!! why is it so hard lmaoo

[angel-zerocal]

had around 500 cals today

two oranges an apple a peach a banana a tomato and a cucumber 80 cal coffee

and some bread

burned 432 cals

feel guilty about bread and banana bc like ate them out of boredom/emotions idk there is no little voice inside my head telling me to resist the urge ahhh

at least i didn’t binge yayy !!

[angel-zerocal]

but honestly how the fuck yall romanticise eds during summer i don’t get

it seems as if it should be easy but like nahh wtf

becoming the worst version of myself so i can be as happy as i was in may-june

[angel-zerocal]

i want my body back

the way it was in may-june

i was so happy i’m crying

binged yesterday too and then my mom said i eat too much

whatever you say sis this time you are right

[angel-zerocal]

after 115 days sh free i did it again

approximately one month of binge-restrict cycle i am genuinely tired

i don't want to be ill in the head anymore

[angel-zerocal]

i overate

my mood dropped and i really like don’t care anymore you know

it’s scary af i don’t want to lose myself

what is wrong i don’t get it

took laxatives yesterday they are working really weird now

whatever

had already around 1200 cals man wtf mostly liquid and chocolate

it’s super hot today stayed home at least i’m calm butt i had 6 hours of sleep so very tired now ahh

i worked out overall morning was great

[angel-zerocal]

took laxatives yesterday they are working really weird now

whatever

had already around 1200 cals man wtf mostly liquid and chocolate

it’s super hot today stayed home at least i’m calm butt i had 6 hours of sleep so very tired now ahh

i worked out overall morning was great

[angel-zerocal]

binging today again yeah

i’m a piece of shit

lord just kill me i beg you

[angel-zerocal]

sooo

i worked out today went on a walk burned 270 cals and had around 1000 cals

everything was fine i was home alone and kept myself busy but i only had 6 hours of sleep so i could tell i’m a little irritated bc of it andd so had my mom’s milk rice porridge with some of her cherry jam she made literally this weekend it’s actually good af

had it out of irritation bc of lack of energy to stretch but it’s okay

i really want to get better all my food choices today were healthy (mostly raw fruit and vegetables, protein too i can’t live without protein now) and overall day’s been good i’m just yeah not everything at once

alsoo my perception of time is really fucked up bc of depression like idk how to explain even you know