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ang3lz-lov3 · 22 days ago

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an artists muse- a viktor fic.

nine.

[eight] [nine] [ten]

a string tied in a knot, how to loosen it…

And as the professor concludes the lesson both of your hearts were racing. You were just having a worse time hiding it. The food you ate last night was threatening to come up and you hoped it would wait until at least after this conversation with Viktor.

He stands abruptly, turning to glance at you and motions with his head for you to follow. You let out a small breath but do so. He doesn’t speak, doesn’t utter a single word as he leads the way out of the science building. You don’t question where he’s going either. Waiting to speak until he does first. You didn’t have the right to speak first.

“I woke up late, didn’t get coffee this morning.” He mutters out, all you do is nod your head in response even though he wasn’t peering your way. He didn’t really care if you said something anyways.

This tension couldn’t even be cut through with a knife. It was boiling over to a point of no return. You wanted to yank out every hair in your head because of it too. He opens the cafe door, that familiar bell toning. He lets you in first, quietly you thank him. He grunts lowly before heading to the counter to order his drink. You just sit yourself down at your guys- Viktor’s normal spot. Your knee is bouncing 100 miles per hour.

Your eyes were locked on the booth seat before you. Zoning out, your mind was running but it also felt empty and blank. You felt your phone buzzing in your hoodie pocket, you were supposed to be meeting Powder and the three boys at the cafe. You’d have to apologize afterwards…

Then an iced coffee is placed in front of you as Viktor sits down, letting out a huff. His cane rested against the table. Your eyes avoid his. You now gaze at the iced coffee and you feel like crying.

Memories of the phone call from high school hit the both of you. The pleads that left your mouth swirling inside Viktor’s head. Viktor’s voice cracks and disappointment with you is all that repeated within your own.

“Why’d you hide it? That you knew? Was that the whole point of becoming my friend?” And like your memories that spiraled, his voice cracks and you wince at the sound. “I didn’t know,” You rasp out. “Not until last week. Found out on Friday.” It was the truth but he can’t seem to trust your words. “You came to my place and knew?” He glares at your iced coffee since he can’t seem to find it in himself to actually look at you.

“I- Yes.” You bow your head in shame. “Were you planning on keeping it from me?” He questions, begging that you say no.

“Yes, just until the semester was over. Then I was never going to bother you again. After this project I was going to start distancing myself so you wouldn’t have to relive what I did to you. Remind yourself of what I did.” Tears welded in your eyes but you blink them away. You didn’t deserve to cry. Not in front of him.

He was taken back by your plan. He didn’t know how to process it. His mouth grew dry. “Maddie came to me. Said it was all her. What I don’t understand is why you told her such personal things.” He clutches his chest. Your purse out your lips. “I vented to her once about your… personal stuff. I was worked up because you had just told me about something your mother had said. I wanted to help you and didn’t know how. It all slipped out. Which is not an excuse. And truly you shouldn’t forgive me. Just know I’m sorry. There’s not one day where I don’t think about it.” You explain to him, sneaking small glances up at him as you speak. Only towards the end did he actually do the same.

It sucked. Knowing that after all this time you were truly remorseful and by the state of you in this moment he knows you're telling the truth. That as he thought you didn’t actually give a shit, you really do. Was he the asshole for blocking you? No. He was hurting, he thought he was betrayed. Even you understand that.

“I forgive you, [Name]. But I just… I can’t forget that. You know?” His eyes meet yours and you nod your head solemnly. “I understand.” You whisper. “It might be best if we do the rest of the project separately. I’ll email you the slideshow so you can do your six. I’ll print out the papers for the board.” He then gets up from the booth.

He hovers over you, waiting for your reply. “Sounds good.” You give him a heavily forced smile with a thumbs up. As he grabs his cane you watch his leg slightly give out from underneath him. Your hands reach out just in case but he ignores it. Continuing on his way out of the cafe. Leaving you there.

You look back to the iced coffee. “Fuck.” You choke out, snatching it up as you pry yourself up from the spot. Throwing away the caffeinated beverage without a second thought. And as you walk out, it begins to sprinkle. Water trickled down from the sky. And you didn’t have Viktor this time. Holding an umbrella for you.

“[Name], what the hell?” A voice pierces your ears as you lay in your bed. Your eyes boredly stuck on the wall before you. You give a small hum. Not tearing away from the cream colored blocks. “You ditched on us?” Powder asks, yanking your blankets off of you. You were unphased though. Just laying limp. “Sorry.” You murmur.

“We were worried about you, dude? What the hell happened?” She shakes your body fervently but again you give nothing. “Said I was sorry, Powder. Leave me alone.” You grab your covers and throw them back over you.

Your best friend gives you a dirty look, silently staring at you.

You think she’s given up until you feel her body weight on top of you. “Powder get off.” You try shoving her but she doesn’t budge. “No, not until you tell me what happened.” She says, you continue pushing and thrashing underneath her. “Powder, please!” You yell out desperately. She shoots up to her knees, off of you.

“Woah, [Name]... What’s going on?” Her face falls at the sight of you as your chest heaves up and down. Your cheeks stained with tears and your eyes puffy. “I-” Tears stream, you couldn’t hold it in anymore.

You felt pathetic. It’s like this is all you can do lately. Cry and have panic attacks.

“Viktor is my online friend. From high school. The one that ended badly. And he found out” You dryly laugh, sniffling at the same time. “He said he forgives me… but we now have to do our project separately. So, don’t think we’re friends anymore.” You click your tongue, taking a deep breath.

“I’m sorry.” Powder frowns deeply, hating that this is eating up at you like this. You wave a hand. “It’s fine, Pow. I’m sorry I didn’t let you guys know where I was.” You apologize, picking up your phone to see the millions upon millions of notifications from them. “It’s okay, the boys are actually out in the hall. Let’s go get food and get this off your mind for a little bit.” She climbs off your bed, sticking a hand out to you for you to take.

You think about it for a moment before biting the bullet and taking her hand. Sliding off the bed as well. “Please don’t tell them anything.” You say before she opens the door. “Of course.” She smiles, and the two of you walk out to the three boys instantaneously bombarding you with questions. Claggor lifting you into a tight hug.

“Where’d you go, girl?” He asks and you laugh. “Sorry! Got caught up in class!” You squeal out. “Man, tell me about it.” Mylo chimes in, and you’re placed back down on the ground.

They heard everything. You crying. All of it. But they know when to shut their mouth. So they don’t say a thing. They crack jokes and distract you from the pain you’re clearly dealing with.

“Viktorrr!!!” Jayce and Vi sing out as they enter his dorm. He was hunched over his desk, focused on the project for Bio. Trying not to focus on the pain that is not only in his chest but his leg. Ever since he left the cafe it’s been brutally tweaking out. “What do you two want?” Viktor groans, glaring up at them.

“I told Vi about your whole… situation. We want to know if you talked to [Name].” Jayce shrugs his shoulders simply. Plopping down on the futon beside the desk. Vi standing with her arms crossed. “Yeah, I can't believe you know my sister’s best friend.”

“We talked, I forgave her. I left.” Viktor shrugs his shoulders. Vi goes to cheer but Jayce stops her. “What else, Vik?” He breathes out, knowing it’s not going to be good. “I told her that we should do our project separately.” He adds in, averting his best friend’s gaze. Vi scrunches her nose. “Why? Jayce said you were in love with her or something.” She questions the boy who’s eyes widen, shooting over to the tanned man who does a “what the fuck?” motion to Vi.

“I am not in love with her? Why would you say that? It hasn’t even been a month.” Viktor angrily exclaims.

“Oh, come on! You know you are. And just because of one thing that happened in high school you’re going to ruin it?” Jayce was upset with his best friend’s stupidity. Viktor scoffs, shaking his head. “You don’t know wh-”

“Viktor! It was a mistake she made. A horrible one, yes but she was, what, 15 years old?” Jayce stands up, disbelieving how dense Viktor was acting. “Jayce,” Viktor warns. “No, no, you need to understand that you’re throwing away a good friendship because of a mistake that she clearly wants to fix.” He says, Vi awkwardly stands there. Not knowing what to do in this situation.

“Jayce, shut the fuck up for a second!” Viktor bursts, standing up from his spot. His knee buckled and almost falling for the second time today. Jayce and Vi go to help him but he pushes them away. “Don’t.” He puts a finger up.

“I understand it was a mistake. But it left me feeling like absolute shit for years. I couldn’t trust a single thing someone said for a year after that. I’m trying to process everything right now.” He defends himself, his hand gripping onto his chair. The piercing ache in his leg was beginning to throb. He needed to get them out of here.

“If I tell you that I planned on talking to her again will you leave?” Viktor asks tiredly. “Yes, actually.” Jayce perks up.

“Okay, leave then.” He points to the door. Vi furrows her eyebrows “When?”

“Huh?” Viktor and Jayce look at her. “When do you plan on talking to her again?” Vi rolls her eyes at their stupidity.

Viktor tenses up. “I don’t know.”

“We’ll sit here until you do know then.” Jayce sits back down on the futon, getting comfortable. “Ughh!” Viktor groans, slamming himself in his seat. Tapping away on the laptop. Going back to ignoring the agony that’s in his leg. Along with now ignoring the two in the room as they talk his ear off.

four more chaptersssssssssss taglist: if you want to be added lmk! @policedeer @im-just-a-simp-le-whore @confusedgemposts @ang3lz-lov3 @almostdrowningdown @corpsepies @obittwo @bakusquadobsessed @ren-ni @xx-siren-sings-xx

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