androidkit

[androidkit]

[androidkit]

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[androidkit]

[androidkit]

it’s crazy how a double bacon cheeseburger is probably the single healthiest thing a human can eat

[androidkit]

wonder if i can commodify my private thoughts in exchange for internet points from strangers online

[androidkit]

Your children's show unfortunately has the absolute wrong take on tackling fascism. Yeah the power of friendship angle is showing a dismal lack of understanding of Marxist theory or even intro-level Leninism. Yeah my only two interests are children's media and online leftist discourse so this is gonna be a problem.

[androidkit]

[androidkit]

seeing a dwarf at night – no worries, this guy’s just running around doing God knows what. don’t try to approach him, he doesn’t speak any English, but he’ll remain friendly if you just keep your distance and have respect.

seeing a gnome at night – good luck sign if he doesn’t notice you. if he does notice you, you won’t see him in the first place… don’t worry

seeing a fairy at night – this is just a flower or a drop of rain or something, you didn’t see anything. go to bed

seeing a little elf at night – this could be bad, nobody knows what happens to elves when they start sipping night air. think about it like a Star Trek episode, “yellow alert”.

seeing human at night – you might think it’s pretty harmless, but watch out… most humans are actually descended from ancient people who lived in the distant past, even if right now they’re just wearing their pajamas. act with extreme caution in this circumstance.

[androidkit]

theres this one customer that comes in pretty infrequently but is recognizable enough that we all just refer to him as “the Elvis Guy”. he always comes in looking for books about Elvis. and every time he’s around he expresses incredulity that we don’t have many books about Elvis in stock. “He’s still the King, you know”, he said recently. Fallout character behavior

[androidkit]

[androidkit]

Bear Vases // The Paper Zoo Keeper on Etsy

[androidkit]

i think about this scene all the time

[androidkit]

personality quiz: in ur head do u refer to yourself as i, you, or we

[androidkit]

translation: “My sheep! [bah! bah!] You are my life. [bah! bah!] Walk behind me…[bah! bah!] Sing (after me).”

[androidkit]

We need to embrace the fact that the tumblr userbase is aging. What’s everybody’s favorite kitchen appliance?

[androidkit]

*giant wind gust outside*

Me: “Don’t say it.”

My Brain:

[androidkit]

When the post is funny but you disagree with the underlying philosophical premises in it