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in the Egyptian wing of the museum and my boyfriend is like "what are all the time periods of ancient Egypt" and I'm like predynastic, early dynastic, old kingdom which is when the pyramids were built, first intermediate, middle kingdom, second intermediate, new kingdom which includes amarna period and yugioh, third intermediate, and then all the late period stuff and macedonian and roman eras. and he's like run that by me one more time

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50% of doctor who is "the humans are the real monsters and 50% of it is "the monsters with lasers are the real monsters" and you literally never know which one you're gonna get until you get it!

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the purpose of friends is to have people who unconditionally hate your shitty exes & relatives. like maybe YOU have a complex relationship with your father but i sure don't. i'm outside his house with a gun. he's not the unforgivable asshole who raised me he's just an unforgivable asshole

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your wife is a genocidal maniac, skyfire

first / next

(if you notice that the bots' models keep changing, no you don't)

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affirmations

i am a complex organism brutally engineered by uncaring forces of nature

i am a product of billions of years and trillions of deaths

i am building a machine greater than myself

i am able to make phone calls and appointments

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everything in this life is temporary. except that fandom hyperfixation from when you were 14. that thang will be with you forever there's no escaping.

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my least favourite turn based strategy game is email

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oh my god god god god god my dad just tried to complain about me wearing earrings with ghosts on them because they're "not very festive" so i said Well Actually ghosts are very appropriate for christmastime and he said tell you what if you can show me a single christmas themed thing that has ghosts in it i won't say another word about your fashion choices this entire holiday. i Promise. so i got him to lean in realllllll close as i opened up the browser app on my phone and slowly began to type "A CHRISTMAS CAROL" while the blood rapidly drained from his face.

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hey ao3 can you like give the extra $38k you made from this month’s funds drive to charity

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Fandoms that I’m Not In, but reuglarly interact with:

Homestuck: Like oompa-loompas leaping out of the woodwork at the drop of secret words or phrases.  Generally Amiable to nonHomestucks, but often vicious with each other, so the trick is the same as when visiting the lands of the fairfolk: Never Actually Consume The Wares Offered.

Star Trek: By Osmosis, I know three (3) Star Trek Memes, but only know how to spell 2 of them (Tarmac Angel Lard Et Tokugawa?).  Massive, old and rife with hidden politics and some very exotic deviances.  Not Unlike my expiriences with the Catholic Church.

Transformers: Star Wars’ dumpsterfire of canon issues looks like a smoldering wastepaper basket compared to the chernobyl-like meltdown of Transformers Canon.  Fandom is somehow extraordinalrity polite, well organized and pleasant.  Like they’re having High Tea with the Fine China and Cucumber Sandwiches whils illuminated by the burning of Rome.

Steven Universe: The Show is like a coming-of-age tale set in the thunderdome, but the fandom is Thunderdome set in a McDonald’s Playplace. 

Supernatural: *Viva Lad Vida faintly plays on the sad winds that echo through the ruined throne room, but the cockroaches picking at the moldering buffet seem to be having a great time*

Discworld: Listen. Listen I wholly admit to worshipping at the Altar of Sir Terry, but after a while, comparing things to discworld starts to feel like the dreaded art “compliment” of “It looks just like Disney!”.  Let people have thier own creations.

Warhammer 40K: For people working with the Grimmest and Darkest of AUs, everyone here is spectacularly jolly and irreverent, at least until you bring up the price of miniatures.

Dr. Who: It comes and goes with wildly different actions and discourse every time, like the haploid and diploid generations of plants.

Star Wars: Is omitted from this list because I’m deep enough in the fandom that I’ve been through all five stages of grief and seven more stages of emotions that do not have names in the tongues of men, and have achived the nirvana of “The Fandom is those 12 people in your chat group”

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the thing is in an ideal world the edge chronicles would look INSANELY good done as an animated series in the same style as Arcane. which is also my idea version of a locked tomb adaptation. But yeah the edge chronicles is so freaky and surreal and violent for a kids’ series it’s PERFECT for a slick well done animated show. or even a big open world rpg. let me pilot a fucking sky galleon

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Santa is on strike due to global warming.  All presents this year will be delivered by Sasha the Christmas Tiger.  Milk and cookies may not be sufficient.

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W3schools ref pages . . . save me . . . W3schools ref pages save me W3schools ref pages

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i really like outsider POV, but the thing is, it fundamentally works better when whatever is going on with the characters in question is so fucking weird that no reasonable outsider could ever discern it

like, the ideal outsider POV should have at least some element of 'what the fuck is wrong with these people'.