analytickle-lezdom-in-space

[analytickle-lezdom-in-space]

okay but I did not know that there is a story about f. scott fitzgerald nervously showing ernest hemingway his penis because zelda said he couldn’t satisfy a woman with it and ernest hemingway was like “lol no dude you’re fine”

what are the modernists even

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I just want you to know that “The lying bitch who probably isn't even made of iron” is the funniest thing I have ever read and i am forever grateful to you for it

The avengers are FALSE ADVERTISING.

1. Captain America

Apparently America doesn’t even have the position of “captain”??? There’s only President America. Are you the president Steve??? ARE YOU??? Yeah. Didn’t fucking think so. Terrible deception. -2/10

2. Iron Man

You’d THINK he’s made of iron but nooOooOO let’s call a superhero “iron man” and not tell anyone he’s actually made of HUMAN FLESH and ANXIETY I’m fucking PISSED 0/10

3. Black widow

Not a spider (smh). As if that’s not bad enough, she’s actually a white and unmarried woman. Disgusting. -4/10

4. Hulk

Definition: an old ship stripped of fittings and permanently moored, especially for use as storage or (formerly) as a prison. NOT a big angry Shrek. The sheer absurdity of it all. -6/10

5. Hawkeye

has human eyes -900/10

6. Winter soldier

He was a soldier so I’ll give him that. But also can be seen during ALL seasons, NOT JUST WINTER. 5/10 for half truth

7. Spiderman

Ok see this is fair because he’s got spider in his DNA. I’ve only got one criticism and it’s that he’s not a man. He babey. 7/10

8. Ant Man

DISGUSTING. HORRIBLE. REVOLTING. NOT MADE OF ANTS. DOESN’T EVEN HAVE ANT IN HIS DNA. JUST BECOMES V SMALL AND V BIG AS PER WILL BECAUSE OF SCIENCE. ANTS D O NO T BECOME V BIG. SHOULD’VE BEEN CALLED ELECTRICAL ENGINEER MAN or ANT IMPOSTOR MAN. -80/10

9. Vision

he can see. 10/10.

10. Scarlet Witch

often seen wearing scarlet things. scarlet magic waves come out of her hands. So that’s nice. Is never seen brewing even one (1) witch potion (paprikash does not count) or casting spells. Does some weird hand wavy thing. Yuck. Not a real witch. 4/10

11. Quicksilver

was v quick. Not made of silver though. Yet another half truth I’m sick of it 5/10

12. Falcon

regular man. Can’t even fly without science wings. Is never even seen swooping down on his prey. Decidedly NOT a falcon. -59/10

13. War Machine

has done like 3 wars at least so that’s good. Unsure whether the “machine” part is referring to the metal onesie or the man inside it. I’m gonna go with the former because James Rhodes is a hero in his own right. 20/10

14. Thor

yeah. 1000/10

[analytickle-lezdom-in-space]

Thank you, @ blimpeh on Twitter for this warning! ZERO TOLERANCE FOR TERFs and transphobes. Also don’t exclude male and non-binary witches! That’s not the witch way.

[analytickle-lezdom-in-space]

one thing that makes me sad about startrekverse is that alongside genuinely utopian things like “in the future there will be no poverty or hunger or crimes or illness” there is also “in the future there will be no religion” like what is this a john lennon song. i am sending you my least amused face

it saddens me that apparently a utopian future involves “”transcending”” religion which apparently universally and inherently holds humanity back?? whaaat. give me a break

i dont want to imagine a utopian SPACE FUTURE which has no, like, hijabi starfleet officers, or space rabbis bickering about what counts as “sunset” when you are on a space station. or what counts as “friday” for that matter

BUT MOST OF ALL

I DONT WANT TO IMAGINE A SPACE FUTURE IN WHICH EVERYONE DOES NOT VALIANTLY PRETEND THAT THERE IS NO ONE HOME ON THEIR STARSHIP WHEN THE MORMON MISSIONARY PODS COME BEETLING BY WITH THEIR DIGITAL PAMPHLETS

AND I AM WILLING TO BET THAT YOU DONT WANT TO IMAGINE THAT EITHER

[analytickle-lezdom-in-space]

I think part of the problem with tumblr is that sometimes ppl forget that popular posts are just personal posts a lot of people agreed with/found funny and werent like, created to specifically target them, it was just a personal thought. Isnt the case with this post though, if you are reading this i hate you specifically

[analytickle-lezdom-in-space]

Inner thigh kisses are important

[analytickle-lezdom-in-space]

Hippie communities of the ’60s often wound up reifying the same restrictive and imbalanced gender norms that they purported to escape. They were especially damaging to young women, who often became vulnerable targets of sexual assault. The story of Manson’s youngest known follower, Dianne Lake, is a quintessential example. Lake’s family had moved from Minnesota to California just to participate in the countercultural lifestyle. While living in a free love commune called Wavy Gravy’s Hog Farm, Lake’s parents allowed her to take drugs and have sex. She met Manson at age 14.

[analytickle-lezdom-in-space]

you can’t love lesbians and hate trans lesbians you can’t love lesbians and hate black lesbians you can’t love lesbians and hate disabled lesbians you just can’t

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I’ll represent you in court :)

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This is literally the best fucking thing I have ever seen

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Bob dylan invented mumble rap

struggling to read this and comprehend without being blinded like an elder scroll

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“Budapest Courtyards” by Yves Marchand et Romain Meffre, Budapest, Hongrie, 2015.

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[analytickle-lezdom-in-space]

Morally grey: A character who does too much bad to be a good person, but does too much good to be a bad person.

Sympathetic villain: A character who is a bad person, but whose backstory/character arc makes you feel sorry for or sympathetic towards them.

Anti-hero: A character who does bad things to achieve a good goal.

Anti-villain: A character who does bad things to achieve a goal that they believe to be good, but is actually messed up.

Just plain annoying: A character who does bad things to achieve a bad goal but has one throwaway line about a hard childhood that is expected to put them into one of the aforementioned categories when in reality it just makes them annoying

[analytickle-lezdom-in-space]

The other day I went to McDonald’s with my family and the guy who took my order was really loud and was basically like “HAPPY HOLIDAYS WHAT CAN I GET YOU” and I was like wow I can’t let this guy outmatch me so I yelled “I’LL TAKE A HAPPY MEAL WITH THE NUG NUGS IF I MAY” you know, like a natural well-adjusted epitome of adulthood 19 year old and he was like “CERTAINLY WOULD YOU LIKE THE MIGHTY KIDS MEAL INSTEAD WITH EXTRA FRIES” and I was so sleep deprived I essentially blacked out and apparently leaned over the counter like I was robbing the place, raised my eyebrow like a suave robin hood and said “HECK YES I WOULD GOOD SIR” and then I sat down and he yelled from across the store “WOULD YOU LIKE THE PURPLE OR BLUE SPIDER-MAN” and since purple is the more superior color that’s how I answered and long story short my parents think college changed me and that I’m now the poster child for being social and I’ve only been asked once why I’m not in a relationship yet but I know it’s gonna be brought up again and how do i tell my parents it’s because whenever I eat in the dining hall I spend the entire time playing bumper cars with the wheeley chairs and all I eat is pixie sticks and the last time I was in the library (where I’m supposed to work next semester, deAr GoD) I ripped my leggings in the bathroom pulling up my pants and I walked the entire 20 mins back to my dorm with my neon underwear peeking out from the holes like a 17th century harlot with a cocaine addiction and I’ve essentially been living off jars of peanut butter and the soundtrack to the bee movie for the past year

[analytickle-lezdom-in-space]

I've been using Doe and Stag because I thought that it was better for bisexual people to have their own terms instead of borrowing the ones lesbians were using. I get that it's not wrong to use them but I always thought it was just bisexual people wanting to have their own terms since they've always been two separate identities.

well the funny thing is that the separation between women who were only attracted to other women and women who were attracted to women and other genders wasn’t really a point of focus until the rise of lesbian separatism and identity politics. 

lesbian and sapphic were terms that mainly referred to women who slept with women and that was it. before lesbian and sapphic, “tribade” was the word of choice during the 1600s to the 1800s, and it came from the word “tribadism” which literally means scissoring, i.e. the sexual act. so tribade, lesbian, and sapphic weren’t really identities so much as they described women who had sex with and had relationships with other women. there was no distinction besides that. 

the first time bisexual was used was in Charles Gilbert Chaddock’s translation of Psychopathia Sexualis which was one of the first books written on sexual pathology in the 1800s. before this, bisexual was usually used to mean hermaphroditic, usually in reference to plants. this was the first time the word was used in reference to people who were attracted to multiple genders. this wasn’t an identity yet. bi/lesbian women were always in a shared community and they organized and convened under “lesbian.” before the 60s, when studies were talking about lesbians, they usually meant all sapphic women. and of course when butch/femme started cropping up in gay bars circa the 50s and 60s, bi women were at those bars, in those spaces, using those words. 

it wasn’t until monsters like sheila jeffreys and all the other cis white female lesbian separatists popped up in the 70s and coined the term “political lesbian,” i.e. women who don’t fuck or fuck with men. it was seen as necessary for women to only engage with women who have cut all their ties to male privilege. this included cutting out bi women (bc they fucked men), trans women (bc they were thought to still be men), queer women of color (bc of their activist work with men of color and their inability to exclude men from their politics), and a whole other slew of marginalized identities. 

((and for a quick bit of irony: lesbian separatists often critiqued the use of femme/butch by lesbians as well because they felt it was a symbol of oppressive patriarchal standards and a way of replicating heterosexuality)). 

so of course right around when the stonewall riots were going on, bi groups started appearing because they were effectively shut out of both gay and straight communities. LGB created the distinction between lesbians and bi people. and if you skip to now, whenever people do research on the history of lesbian identities, they read “lesbian” as “women who are only attracted to women” and assume that bi women are excluded from that history when in actual fact they were right smack in the middle of it the entire time. that’s where people on tumblr get mad at bi women for “co-opting lesbian terms” and “stealing from lesbian history.” 

doe/stag were coined as a way to mirror femme/butch because bi women erroneously think that femme/butch are not part of their history. the fact that bi women feel the need to come up with/use doe/stag and steer away from butch/femme is the exact kind of thing TERFs and lesbian separatists wanted to accomplish in the first place. they wanted to treat bi women like traitors who would not relinquish their heterosexual privilege and thus posed a threat to lesbians everywhere (which, needless to say, is horse shit). 

so all that to say, it’s not better for bi people to come up with their own terms because butch/femme were terms used by bi women since their inception. you don’t have to feel like you can’t use those words as if they’re not yours because they are yours and they are a part of your history. anyone who attempts to make bi women feel guilty or wrong for identifying as butch/femme are likely regurgitating TERFy rhetoric they’ve found floating around the internet without realizing it. 

sources: [x] [x] [x] [x] [x] 

EDIT: lol i totally forgot to source sheila jeffreys’ fabulous terf bs: [x]

EDIT (2): MORE sources on bisexual movements since people seem to be dead set on pegging me as a lesbophobic bi: [x] [x] [x]