amerishiki

[amerishiki]

Good morning everyone !

皆さん、おはようございます。今日は最後なので、少しだけ日本語で話しさせてください。

3年前に、私はアメリカの大学を卒業して、すぐこの学校にやってきました。でも実は、私は子供の頃から人見知りで、話すこと事態がとても苦手だったので、一人で海外に引っ越し、誰も知らないところで英語を教える仕事を始まるのがものすごく不安でした。

それでも、私が決めた目標のために、何があっても頑張ろうという気持ちで、自分の安全地帯から出てみました。そしたら、こうやって、今日、皆さんの前に立って話せるようになりました。

この3年間の間に、難しいこともありましたが、私がこの日本でALTとして働くというリスクを負わなかったら、多くのかけがえのない経験をすることができませんでした。もちろん、皆さんと出会えることもできませんでしたね。

だから皆さんも、自分の安全地帯から踏み出して、どんどん新しいことを挑戦して欲しいです。小さくても、新しいことをするのがどれほど怖いのか、私はよく分かります。けれども、その努力の結果として、とても楽しい、大切な経験を得ることが絶対できます。

皆さん、自分の目標や、やりたいことを見つけたら、諦めないでください。これからきっと、辛いこともたくさん出てくると思いますが、そんな時に「どうせ私なんか無理」みたいなことを思わないでください。乗り越えられない山はない。私たちには、これから無限の可能性があります。私のALTの経験を通して、この2つのことを深く実感してきました。

私はこれから、別に県で新しい仕事を挑戦してみます。皆さんも、前に進むために自信を持って、色んなことを挑戦しながら一緒に頑張りましょう!

私は皆さんと出会えて、本当に幸せでした。この3年間、毎日はとても楽しかったです。皆さんに心から、深く感謝しています。英語では、Thank you from the bottom of my heart. 私はこれからずっと、ずっと、皆さんのご成功と幸せをいつでも願っています。今までは本当にありがとうございました。

ーーーーーー

これを持ちまして、私のALTとしての任命が終わりました。それと伴って、このブログも終了いたします。長い間でしたが、本当にお世話になりました。私は、これからどこへ行こうとも、世界の人々との間の架け橋となるために、私は大きな笑顔を持って、一所懸命頑張ります。何があっても、私は負けない!!

これから、ブログのタイトルを「amerishiki」というように変わり、メインブログの「yunmew」で、また色々とアップします。インスタの「mewclouds」もまたフォローしてね 😄

今までは本当にありがとうございました。🙇🙌🙋

And with that, my time as an ALT has come to an end. Along with this, I have decided to stop updating this blog. Thank you for everything over these past three long years. I never ended up using this blog as I had intended to, but instead it became a precious record of my three years in Toyama. Where ever I may go from now own, armed with my big smile I will so my best to become a bridge between people all over the world. No matter what happens, I will never give up!!

From now on I will change the title of this blog to “amerishiki” and will continue posting on my main blog “yunmew.” if you are so inclined, you can also follow me on Instagram at “mewclouds” (old name, potentially subject to change in the near future) which I have recently restarted.

Thank you so, so much. 😊

[amerishiki]

On my last day, I got my miracle. I had been waiting for this all summer. For about a minute, my whole apartment became filled with red. ありがとう ありがとう ありがとう🌅

[amerishiki]

After the rain comes the sun :)

[amerishiki]

自信を持って、不動心で、勇猛心で!!!!!!!!!

[amerishiki]

白ゐ嘘 - Kagrra, Hahaha I'm so sad. Although I'm not saying the white lie「また会える」my heart aches every time someone tells me "See you again!" as opposed to "Goodbye." The only thing getting me through all this now is Kagrra, Tomorrow is my last day at work, my last day to meet my students, and in exactly one week I will move into my new apartment and start my new life.

[amerishiki]

戀

- Kagrra,

[amerishiki]

進め

何があっても、私はもう負けない! 前に進むよ!!

[amerishiki]

I've known this for a long time, but I always end up pushing myself beyond my limits. For some reason I wanted to become a fully-functioning, stable, independent adult as soon as possible, which ended up in me choosing to put myself in extremely difficult and/or strenuous situations. (example A: choosing to move to a different country to take up a job doing what I am least good at.) "It's part of growing up." "It's part of being an adult." These were the excuses I've subconsciously told myself as I faced difficulties time and time again, alone. Just now, I said goodbye to the person that helped me the most with my life here in Japan. Because of her, I was able to grow up so much. Although I kept trying to deny it to myself, at times she was almost like a mother to me. I smiled and waved goodbye as she left, then turned around and started walking back to my apartment, unconsciously thinking "it's ok, this is just part of being an adult," not even really feeling any sadness. But as I walked back into my apartment I was sobbing. I no longer have any time too feel sad. I have so many things I'm constantly thinking about and I'm so busy that I just end up saying "thank you so much! bye! :)" casually with no sad emotions. But no matter how busy I am, no matter what I think it means to be 'grown up,' it is okay for me to be sad. It is okay for me to miss people. It is okay for me to let myself feel like I'm acting like a child. I started this job at a relatively young age, an age younger than some of my students, and deep down I always felt very self conscious about it. I hope that this time though, with this new job, I can forget about 'trying to make up for my lack of age and experience' and just do my job with confidence knowing that I am the best person for the job. Because I am. Good bye, see you again, and thank you :)

[amerishiki]

「アメリー、甘えてください! よろしくお願いします!」 「我慢したらいいこと一つもありませんよ。」 Thank you Tokyoママ♥️♥️♥️

[amerishiki]

Talking on the phone with my dad, he realized I'll be back in the states in only 3 more weeks and he started crying :") Finally, FINALLY, everything has come together. All that's left is to is back up my stuff and clean the shit out of my apartment. This place is amazing ♥️

[amerishiki]

♥️ July 14th, 2017

Clap along if you feel like a room without a roof. Clap along if you feel like happiness is the truth. Clap along if you know what happiness is to you. Clap along if you feel like that's what you wanna do! Because I'm happy! At the end of the last class of my teaching career this afternoon, the kids all sang this song together. I truly felt so, so happy :') I'm really going to miss them all. I'm now currently on a train to Kyushu, on my way to set up my new life there. かなしい かなしい かなしい かなしい うれしい うれしい うれしい うれしい 🙋🙏🙌😊

[amerishiki]

Well well, here we go. Tomorrow I have my last classes as a teacher. Unfortunately I haven't really been able to end my classes the way I wanted to, but I've been doing my best to get through all the work that I have due tomorrow. And after my last class, I will catch the train and go straight to my new city for the weekend. Very sad, but excited at the same time. Imma made arigatou!! ♥️

[amerishiki]

Wow, here we go. 8:30 on Monday morning. With will be my last late morning at work. The first two and a half years Monday's were always really, really stressful. Multiple times my Monday situation made me want to leave. It was really difficult. Tonight is my last night class ever. But thankfully, it can end on a good note.

[amerishiki]

Best quote from the soubetsukai last night: "Fax machine is Japanese heritage!!!" (He also kept justifying conservative Japanese ways by saying “because, Japanese are farmers!")

[amerishiki]

Wait wait wait I'm sorry, ????????

[amerishiki]

⭐七夕 7/7/2017 ~ Because I'm Happy. ⭐ Had a truly, truly filled day. Started with riding my bike to work, passing our Great Buddha, and him having an expression more peaceful than I have ever seen in these past three years. Spending a whole class singing and dancing to "Happy" with my genki boys and girl. We sang it so many times, and honestly that was one of my best classroom memories over the course of my time here. Tanabata festival. Yukata. Gelato. Delicious food. Over zealous amateur punk band (with all the jii-chans and baa-chans slowly starting to clap along.) Karaoke. (screaming my lungs out :') ) Midnight photoshoot in the street. Deep conversation well into the night over spicy ginger ale. And impromptu sleepover turning a bad situation into a safe one. ⭐