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Fascism with a Sprinkle of Spectacle
Ingredients:
Jodphurs; the more the merrier. Preferably olive green or gunmetal-grey.
Seeing as Jodhpurs have fallen out of favor somewhat over the past few years, you could substitute this ingredient with a navy or black suit. Can be fitted or loose.
A willingness to consider yourself at the forefront of human excellence; you are the Übermensch.
Large sums of capital. Preferably in the form of: mansions, art, wine collections, cigars, real estate, and souls.
If you do not currently possess such resources, do not fret, they will come with the trade. The benefit of your status as a fascist will include the ability to plunder and pillage as you see fit; you can use your newly acquired position of power to further your own interests!
A nifty propaganda and media team.
This team must be able to make you appear taller than you are, always (preferably taller than anyone else on scene); in the early stages of your regime, before you’ve fully crushed the nefarious and lying media, the ability to doctor footage to better suit your needs; a musical talent towards the production of jingles (jingles are the key).
An ability to make outlandish claims with the straightest of faces (truth of claims is optional, but generally discouraged). Also, a proclivity towards taking yourself extremely seriously.
At least 5 intercontinental ballistic missiles (ICBMs) armed with thermonuclear warheads. As with the Jodphurs, feel free to add as many of these as you’d like– you really can’t go wrong.
A healthy dose of ultranationalism and, depending on the region, statements of white supremacy. Generally, a claim towards establishing the purity of the region and the population.
An economic system that gives even the most well-trained orthodox economists of the day a headache; a hint of ‘socialist’ centralization, a dash of productive capitalism, and a tablespoon of striving towards economic autarky. Generally termed ‘Statism’/‘State Capitalism.’
Feel free to completely disregard your supposed economic stance once you rise to power– consistency of views doesn’t matter all too much as long as you have full control.
Sham votes that mean nothing because: a) the people are too scared to vote for anyone else, or b) the only name on the ballot is yours (ha, got them!).
Directions:
Gather a bunch of your lads (preferably the military ones) and start causing a ruckus; tell people their problems are all caused by ‘the other’ and that you will return ethnic purity, and all of the associated values and beliefs, to the nation and its people.
Use family-friendly buzzwords and acronyms like: Lebensraum, Spazio Vitale, and ‘Make America Great Again.’
Use catchy and edgy sounding party names: ‘The Blackshirts’, ‘The Junta’, ‘Iron Wolves’, ‘Architects of Resurrection’, and any others of the like.
Tell the populace you are strong, and that their current politicians are a bunch of panty-wearing sissies. You wrestle bears in your spare time, they get ridden by horses.
Get your tech buddies together and let them have a jolly good time doctoring media footage to best further the goals of your up-and-coming regime. Encourage them to call the media a bunch of lying frauds.
For inspiration, take a peek at the latest editing work on behalf of the White House. A real gem!
Make sure to remind people constantly about the greatness of the regime, and the near supernatural status of their leader. Consider placing speakers in bedrooms and bathrooms to help with the process.
Soon enough you’ll have full control of the media; rather, you’ll be the media. The only source of information and opinion. Consider keeping your techies around all the same, as they are the ones who make sure everything continues to run smoothly.
Start getting rid of any dissidents who disagree with regime ideology.
This step will be on-going, so make sure you perfect your tactics and strategies.
International media might try to infiltrate the country and show how ‘terrible’ things have become– out them as a bunch of pansies, unworthy of being listened to.
Solidify your rule by infiltrating and co-opting the educational system and teaching only what you take to be acceptable.
Fun fact: The sky’s the limit! Consider indoctrinating your people to believe you were brought into existence by an almighty deity, fully-grown and destined for grandeur at birth. Better yet, claim you brought yourself into existence because that’s how incredible you are (also evades the risk of introducing someone above you in the hierarchy of power).
Enjoy the fruits of your most righteous labor.
More Drool-worthy Recipes:
Getting Away with Murder (only 3 simple ingredients required)
Voter Suppression à la Georgia
Systemic-racism Pot-pie, with a side of Capitalist Inequality
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