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19 Jokes Youâll Only Get If Youâve Seen âGuardians Of The Galaxy: Vol. 2â
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Chris Evans reads Even Superheroes Have Bad Days for CBeebies Bedtime Story.
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Right now, Iâm sifting through 50+ applications for a new entry-level position. Hereâs some advice from the person who will actually be looking at your CV/resume and cover letter:
âYou must include a cover letterâ does not mean âwrite a single line about why you want this positionâ. If you canât be bothered to write at least one actual paragraphs about why you want this job, I canât be bothered to read your CV.
Donât bother including a list of your interests if all you can think of is âsocialising with friendsâ and âlistening to musicâ. Everyone likes those things. Unless you can explain why the stuff you do enriches you as a person and a candidate (e.g. playing an instrument or a sport shows dedication and discipline) then I honestly donât care how you spend your time. I wonât be looking at your CV thinking âhuh, they havenât included their interests, they must have noneâ, Iâm just looking for what you have included.
Even if you apply online, I can see the filename you used for your CV. Filenames that donât include YOUR name are annoying. Filenames like âCV - mediaâ tell me that youâve got several CVs you send off depending on the kind of job advertised and that you probably didnât tailor it for this position. â[Full name] CVâ is best.
USE. A. PDF. All the meta information, including how long you worked on it, when you created it, times, etc, is right there in a Word doc. PDFs are far more professional looking and clean and mean that I canât make any (unconscious or not) decisions about you based on information about the file.
I donât care what the duties in your previous unrelated jobs were unless you can tell me why theyâre useful to this job. If you worked in a shop, and youâre applying for an office job which involves talking to lots of people, donât give me a list of stuff you did, write a sentence about how much you enjoyed working in a team to help everyone you interacted with and did your best to make them leave the shop with a smile. I want to know what makes you happy in a job, because I want you to be happy within the job Iâm advertising.
Does the application pack say who youâll be reporting to? Can you find their name on the company website? Address your application to them. Itâs super easy and shows that you give enough of a shit to google something. 95% of people donât do this.
Tell me who you are. Tell me what makes you want to get up in the morning and go to work and feel fulfilled. Tell me what youâre looking for, not just what you think Iâm looking for.
I will skim your CV. If you have a bunch of bullet points, make every one of them count. Make the first one the best one. If itâs not interesting to you, itâs probably not interesting to me. Iâm overworked and tired. Make my job easy.
âI work well in a team or individuallyâ okay cool, you and everyone else. If the job means youâll be part of a big team, talk about how much you love teamwork and how collaborating with people is the best way to solve problems. If the job requires lots of independence, talk about how you are great at taking direction and running with it, and how you have the confidence to follow your own ideas and seek out the insight of others when necessary. I am profoundly uninterested in cookie-cutter statements. I want to know how you actually work, not how a teacher once told you you should work.
For an entry-level role, tell me how youâre looking forward to growing and developing and learning as much as you can. I will hire genuine enthusiasm and drive over cherry-picked skills any day. You can teach someone to use Excel, but you canât teach someone to give a shit. It makes a real difference.
This is my advice for small, independent orgs like charities, etc. We usually donât go through agencies, and the person reading through the applications is usually the person who will manage you, so it helps if you can give them a real sense of who you are and how youâll grab hold of that entry level position and give it all youâve got. This stuff might not apply to big companies with actual HR departments - itâs up to you to figure out the culture and what theyâre looking for and mirror it. Do they use buzzwords? Use the same buzzwords! Do they write in a friendly, informal way? Do the same! And remember, 95% of job hunting (beyond who you know and flat-out nepotism, ugh) is luck. If you keep getting rejected, itâs not because you suck. You might just need a different approach, or it might just take the right pair of eyes landing on your CV.
And if you get rejected, itâs worthwhile asking why. Youâve already been rejected, the worst has already happened, thereâs really nothing bad that can come out of you asking them for some constructive feedback (politely, informally, âif it isnât too much troubleâ). Pretty much all of us have been hopeless jobseekers at one point or another. We know itâs shitty and hard and soul-crushing. Friendliness goes a long way. Even if itâs just one line like âyour cover letter wasnât inspiring" at least you know where to start.
And seriously, if you have any friends that do any kind of hiring or have any involvement with that side of things, ask them to look at your CV with a big red pen and brutal honesty. I do this all the time, and the most important thing I do is making it so their CV doesnât read exactly like that of every other person who took the same âhow-to-get-a-jobâ class in school. If your CV has a paragraph that starts with something like âI am a highly motivated and punctual individual whoââ then oh my god I AM ALREADY ASLEEP.
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birds out here making some weird ass sounds
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Hamilton Things, in no particular order:
- Philipâs piano lesson is the same melody as the countdown to the duel
- Philip is shot by George Eaker on the count of seven, and seven is where Philip dies during Stay Alive (reprise). Also referenced early, in My Shot (whenâs it gonna get me/in my sleep/seven feet ahead of me).Â
- Eliza is one of the only mains who does not use the traditionally fast style of rap in the musical, perhaps because she was literally the one given the most time as she lived to 97
- The way the names in this musical are sung are significant. Each person has their own melody for their name. Hamilton typically sings his name in his own style, seen in the title song, even when it doesnât fit with the current melody (see Whatâd I Miss). Angelica sings it a different way (see Satisfied). Angelica and Eliza trade each otherâs melodies to sing each otherâs names in Take A Break
- You knock me out, I fall apart is used figuratively twice. Once during Dear Theodosia in happiness, once during Itâs Quiet Uptown in grief.Â
- Three people describe themselves as âhelplessâ - Eliza, Alexander and Maria Reynolds
- I may not live to see our glory/Let me tell you what I wish Iâd known, when I was young and dreamed of glory
- Burr hands the narration off three times, once to Angelica, once to Alexander and once to Eliza (Itâs Quiet Uptown, Say No To This and Who Lives Who Dies Who Tells Your Story). Having Burr as the narrator for the Hamiltons grieving the loss of their son didnât feel right, so it was given to Angelica. Say No To This is a retelling directly from Alexanderâs memories. An argument could be made that Eliza is truly the star of the musical so she narrates her own ending. Otherwise, it seems to be that Burr is the narrator, knowing full well how this will end but powerless to stop it.Â
- Washington only raps when heâs frustrated
- Not a coincidence that Burrâs line âfools who run their mouths off wind up deadâ is directly followed by Laurens introducing himself
- My Shotâs line âIs it like a beat without a melodyâ echoes The World Was Wide Enough, where there literally is Hamilton singing with no accompanying music
- Peggy is never mentioned again after âHelplessâ
- In Hamiltonâs pleading to Eliza during Itâs Quiet Uptown, he is, for the first time in the play, putting himself in her position, figuratively and musically. He is singing her past melody as opposed to his own. He uses her âlook aroundâ melody as well, in an effort to connect with her.Â
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âI think trying to remain as humble as possible is the best way to aid that progression with your acting.â
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some jackalope: "shark infested waters"
me cupping my hands around my mouth: THEY LIVE THERE
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when i find myself in times of trouble,
chris evans comes to me,
speaking words of wisdom,
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If you like someone, if someone is justâŠyou just -like- them, all of a sudden you literally stop seeing the things that you may have labeled as a flaw prior to meeting the person. Itâs easy to have your physical, surface, superficial, preferences but the second you like somebody? All that shit goes out the window.
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