amazynazyn

[amazynazyn]

If I was dead I would finally be at peace. No more pain. No more suffering. That’s the only way I’ll get some relief.

[amazynazyn]

do you ever feel the need to ask someone if they still want you in their life because it always feels like they don’t care about you or that you are bothering them.

[amazynazyn]

person: how are you

me: waiting for death but not seeking it out so i could be worse

[amazynazyn]

Signs you grew up lonely

- Chasing people who don’t want you

-Making up lots of stories and worlds

-Overtalking whenever there’s someone to talk to

-Excessive reading

-Daydreaming

-Clinging emotionally to others

-Being the ‘disposable’ friend in the group

-Excessive baths

-Talking to oneself

-Obsessive friendships

-Excessive helpfulness

[amazynazyn]

one of the weirdest things about bpd is having extreme abandonment issues but having the urge to abandon everyone you know

[amazynazyn]

“imagine i had i bowl of skittles and three of them could kill you-”

[amazynazyn]

My aesthetic: when you take off your glasses on a highway and all the lights go soft and smudged, a trail of amber behind you like a quiet afterthought

[amazynazyn]

[amazynazyn]

so beautiful… 

[amazynazyn]

Bingo. Bingo. Bingo.

An anxiety bingo

[amazynazyn]

“I do not always feel this empty aching sadness- the kind that leaves me crouched in the corner of my room, clutching my chest and unable to move. Sometimes I am happy, and sometimes I am dancing with my friends and going to the movies and laughing- laughing so much that my stomach hurts. But then there are times, when all that can calm me is the comfort of my bed and the blinds drawn to keep out the daylight. Sometimes, my mind plays tricks on me and convinces me that I am a bother and unimportant to everyone around me. And sometimes, I am sorry to admit this, I give in to that feeling. I let it take over and I trap myself in isolation where I cannot do any harm to anyone else. I let my mind convince me that I am a bad daughter, sister and friend. But I am working on it.”

— D.O.

[amazynazyn]

[amazynazyn]

I can’t keep pretending

[amazynazyn]

i’m getting bad again but i’m too tired care

[amazynazyn]

I think kissing is so underrated. Sitting in someone’s lap and just making out for hours is a big mood.

[amazynazyn]

“Pit bulls are bred to fight” 

 Yeah fightin back my tears

[amazynazyn]

I miss you. And I hope you’re doing well. I hope you’re the happiest you’ve ever been, I really do. Don’t hesitate to contact me, because chances are, I’ll respond instantly.