alviesaur

[alviesaur]

okay. which of you motherfuckers taught my vile little homunculus how to put on eyeliner

[alviesaur]

Squidward clocking out of the Krusty Krab and heading to the nearest gay after hours event 

[alviesaur]

the girls ever <3

[alviesaur]

my mom didn’t believe in lying to children so when I first asked about santa claus as a small child she was like “oh santa claus is another name for a man named saint nicholas who lived a long time ago. he was a very kind and generous man and he loved giving people presents and he would do things like put presents in people’s stockings when they were hung up to dry by the fire, so they would find them and be surprised. so now when we give presents at christmas it’s fun to pretend saint nicholas or ‘santa claus’ brings them. and we hang up stockings by the fire and when we get up in the morning there are presents in them, just like if saint nicholas was still alive to bring them!”

so that thanksgiving one of my uncles said jovially “so mac, are you being good for santa claus?” and little (not quite three year old) mac looked up and raised an eyebrow and said witheringly “he’s dead.”

[alviesaur]

Don't tell instagram but I'm getting a headstart on the Muppets 70th Anniversary... many more muppets to come

[alviesaur]

truly some people have no genre savviness whatsoever. A girl came back from the dead the other day and fresh out of the grave she laughed and laughed and lay down on the grass nearby to watch the sky, dirt still under her nails. I asked her if she’s sad about anything and she asked me why she should be. I asked her if she’s perhaps worried she’s a shadow of who she used to be and she said that if she is a shadow she is a joyous one, and anyway whoever she was she is her, now, and that’s enough. I inquired about revenge, about unfinished business, about what had filled her with the incessant need to claw her way out from beneath but she just said she’s here to live. I told her about ghosts, about zombies, tried to explain to her how her options lie between horror and tragedy but she just said if those are the stories meant for her then she’ll make another one. I said “isn’t it terribly lonely how in your triumph over death nobody was here to greet you?” and she just looked at me funny and said “what do you mean? The whole world was here, waiting”. Some people, I tell you.

[alviesaur]

The Crocodile Mom

[alviesaur]

I didn't read your email but I gave it a sniff

[alviesaur]

Stormcloud - Garden Wizard's Apprentice! What happens when you teach a rabbit the arcane arts? Exactly what you'd expect - zzzzap!

[alviesaur]

@missiletoe and i are launching the first ever 12 DAYS OF YURIMAS!! 🎄🎁🌟

Create any sort of piece (fic, art, edit, you name it) for any wlw ship of your choice based on the following prompts! OCs welcome! Do as many or as few as you like! This is all for fun (and love of yuri) 🩷

Be sure to use the tag #12 days of yurimas so we can see it! Can’t wait to kickstart this festive season with you all 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🏳️‍🌈

[alviesaur]

[alviesaur]

so my sister's dog is named communist gun, but we call him red. right? and every once in a while when she wants him to jump on someone she goes "red scare!" and recently ive been trying to get him to jump on people when i go "mccarthyism!" but it's not working yet

[alviesaur]

thinking about anastasia trusova paintings again

[alviesaur]

Helena Tchórzewska (1939-1998) — On the Web [oil on canvas, 1984]

[alviesaur]

All these billionaires who invested in the metaverce and Neuralink must be questioning their life choices looking at what what furries are doing in VR chat.

[alviesaur]

look at my doctors bro im gonna fucking die

[alviesaur]

Do you think they realize how much cooler that makes it sound?

Like. I'm not even an apotheosis type of guy. But you do know that makes it sound so much cooler right?