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Parenting Reflection
Throughout the week, I realized that parenting is a lot of work and it can also be a lot of pressure because your child is so dependent on you. The first years of a child’s life are crucial to their development so it is extremely important that all of their needs are met and they are learning skills that will assist them throughout the rest of their life. Before this project, I didn’t realize how much the first years impact a child’s brain even though they won’t remember the experience that they had. I am very appreciative to my own parents for how hard they worked to raise my sister and I. I had so many experiences as a young child that contributed to who I am today. My parents spent a lot of time with me outside which may explain why I like nature so much and they also read to me a lot which may explain why I was able to read much earlier than other kids. I was exposed to German by my grandmother as a baby but unfortunately my parents asked my grandmother to stop speaking German to me because they thought that I would confuse English and German. I wish that I had continued to be exposed to the language so that I could be bilingual today.
I learned that a secure attachment between parent and child is extremely important and I will definitely apply this to my life if I ever choose to have children. I babysit a lot and I sometimes get frustrated when toddlers make a mess or do something that seems very selfish. I now have a better understanding of their actions now that I know they are egocentric and do not have the ability to see another person’s point of view.
I think that the most realistic part of this project was having to keep my child with me constantly. This was difficult at times and made tasks like going to the bathroom and walking to school a lot more difficult. The most unrealistic part was that my child did not actually cry, crawl, walk, or speak. In real life I would have had to deal with a lot more problems like calming my child down and making sure that she does not walk around the house and get hurt. I think that the biggest challenge of being a teen mom would be trying to finish school and have a life outside of parenting. Parenting is a huge responsibility that requires enormous amounts of time and effort. Raising a child is also very expensive and I can’t even imagine how a teen parent would be able to afford caring for their child.
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My Three Year Old
Brinn is three years old! Time has flown by so quickly! She loves cooperating with others and doing things that please other people. She is now more willing to help put her toys away and help her mommy with other chores. Her fine motor abilities are developed enough that she can draw simple objects and feed herself without making an absolute mess (finally!). She loves using new words and she can now for sentences with over four words! It is amazing to see her communicate with people more and more! Three year olds are in Piaget’s proportional stage which means they lack logical reasoning and conservation and they are egocentric. This does not mean that Brinn is “selfish”, but she is literally not able to see things from someone else’s perspective. Knowing this make me more understanding when she does things that appear to be selfish or mean. If she takes another child’s toy, she does not have the ability to think about how this might make them feel. She has also developed a fear of heights and the dark.
I have prioritized spending time with my child because it is very important that we have a strong bond. I do not want to be condescending to Brinn because I want her to feel like she is an equal partner in our relationship. Over time I have gained Brinn’s trust as she has learned that I am always there for her when she needs me. I show her that I believe in her by telling her when she does a good job and helping her along when she struggles or makes mistakes. One day while she was painting, she decided to paint a piece of furniture instead of her paper. I explained to her that painting or coloring on the sofa ruins the furniture and I asked her to help me clean up the mess. This teaches her to help fix her mistakes without making her fearful.
http://www.ahaparenting.com/parenting-tools/connection/building-relationship
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My Two Year Old
Brinn has now entered the “terrible twos”! She has a short attention span and lots of energy so she constantly moves from one activity to another. She is also much happier when she follows a specific routine each day. She like to eat the same foods each day and she always demands that we read “Runaway Bunny” and “Goodnight Moon” every night. She has become more independent in making her own choices but she also gets very upset when she can’t have something or do something that she wants to do. Her fine motor skills are developing and she is now able to do simple puzzles and draw with crayons. She now uses two-word sentences to describe the world around her. She is now potty trained and so thankfully I don’t have to change dirty diapers any more! She is also experiencing parallel play in which she plays side-by-side with others but the play is not truly cooperative.
This year as Brinn has learned to do more things on her own she has also made some mistakes such as drawing on the wall and spilling her juice. I made the decision to explain to her why what she did was wrong and help her clean up rather than yelling at her. I think that this will form a better parent-child relationship because she will not associate making mistakes with fear and she will learn how to fix her own mistakes when something goes wrong.
Brinn also started having night terrors in which she screams and cries uncontrollably in the middle of the night. This was very scary at first and I tried to comfort her but I learned that because she is not fully awake, she will no acknowledge my presence. The best thing that I can do is be there for her to make sure that she does not do anything to hurt herself. The cause of night terrors are unknown but there are things that I can do to prevent them. I can make sure that she is on a consistent schedule and if I notice that she has night terrors around the same time each night, I can set timers to wake her up about 20 minutes before the terrors occur.
http://www.nightterrors.org
https://www.babycenter.com/0_night-terrors-why-they-happen-and-what-to-do-about-them_142.bc
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Brinn LOVES being outside and observing nature! Here is a picture of her in the garden.
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My One Year Old
Now that Brinn is able to move around and walk on her own, she loves to do lots of new things! Her favorite things to do are playing outside, finger-painting, playing with animals, and reading books. She can now feed herself, although she makes a huge mess! Her favorite foods are apple sauce and peaches. She now only sleeps 10-12 hours at night rather than 16 1/2 hours per day. Bring usually taks a nap during the afternoon, although she sometimes refuses to nap because she is having so much fun playing. Bring is also making huge progress in her language development. At ten months she was in her babbling stage but at about a year she said her first word. Her first word was “mama”, of course, but she now uses one-word sentences to express what she wants and identify the world around her. Her most-used words are “more”, “doggy”, and “book”.
This year I chose to take Brinn to daycare. At first I was concerned that this would interfere with her having a secure attachment to me but I learned that this will not happen as long as she is in a high-quality daycare with people who are highly responsive to her needs. She really enjoys spending time with her grandma while I am away.
http://www.parents.com/toddlers-preschoolers/childcare/daycare/get-ready-for-day-care/
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My Newborn (0-1 year)
Brinn’s first year was filled with so much excitement and learning! It was amazing to see her experiencing the world for the first time. Because she was in the sensorimotor stage, she experienced the world through senses like looking and touching. While she was with me throughout the day she learned about the world by observing the people and things around her. I spent a lot of time with Brinn and I made sure to be very responsive to her needs so that she would develop a strong attachment. By the time she was six months old she was able to sit unsupported and by 8 months she started to crawl! She is very active and loves to move around on her own. Now that she is one year old she is beginning to take her first steps.
I also had to make some important parenting decisions during Brinn’s first year. I chose to limit Brinn’s screen time because it can decrease concentration and it is much more beneficial for her to spend time interacting with me and other people. It is important for her to establish connections and learn from experiences during this time rather than wasting time watching a screen (Knorr). Having more experiences and physical play will help with Brinn’s emotional and physical development. I also chose to teach Brinn Spanish. It is important that she begins to learn a second language in her first few years before neurons in that part of her brain are pruned.
I would say that the biggest challenges I faced this year occurred in the first few months of Brinn’s life. It is very stressful- especially for a single parent- to feed a child every 2-4 hours. This means that during the night I had to set a timer every 3 hours and this interfered a lot with my ability to get deep sleep. I also dealt with a lot of stress about SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome). To lower the risk of SIDS, I swaddled Brinn and placed her on her back whenever she was in her crib. I also eliminated her sleeping space of any toys or other blankets that could potentially get in the way of her breathing if they were over her face. Now that she is one year old there is a much lower risk of SIDS.
http://bilingualkidsrock.com/why-raise-bilingual/
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Pregnancy
My baby started as a zygote, which is a fertilized egg. Less than half of zygotes are able to survive beyond 2 weeks. After ten days, the zygote attached to the uterine wall and its inner cells became an embryo. Over the next six weeks the organs began to form and its heart started beating. Nine weeks after conception, the embryo is known as a fetus. The fetus is responsive to sound and will begin to recognize familiar voices.
Throughout my pregnancy I have had to be very careful about avoiding teratogens, which are harmful chemicals and viruses that can reach the fetus during prenatal development and cause harm. For example if I had used drugs such as heroin during my pregnancy the baby would be born a heroin addict. In addition, babies whose mothers drank alcohold during pregnancy are at risk of FAS (Fetal Alcohol Syndrome), which can cause brain abnormalities and facial misproportions. I have also had to make sure that I am getting lots of nutrients to nourish the fetus properly. Because I don’t eat any animal products such as meat, milk, or cheese I have been very consistent with taking vitamin supplements such as Vitamin B12 and iron.
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Our Family
Hi! My name is Alexia and I am having a baby girl who will be named Brinn. I chose this name because I think that it’s simple, pretty, and unique. I also think that the name can appear either girly or more neutral and this will give my child the opportunity to express herself without being defined by a super feminine name. I will be raising Brinn as a single parent. Without another parent to hep raise her, I will probably be more likely to experience stress from trying to balance time with Brinn while working a full-time job to pay for expenses (Child Development Institute). However, I am also more likely to have a strong mother-child bond and my child is likely to become more mature and learn to be responsible (Malachi). Brinn is my biological child and therefore she will likely be less prone to the emotional problems that can sometimes affect adopted children (Trimberger). My biggest concern is balancing my time between parenting, school, and other activities. I have dance classes that can take up to 3 and a half hours of my time so I will have to rely a lot on my family to babysit for me on those days. I hope that I will not miss out on too much time with Brinn because I don’t want her to develop separation anxiety while I’m gone or feel like I am abandoning her. I hope that she will grow up to value her family and be confident in herself throughout any challenges that she will face.
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