aluaparelacse

[aluaparelacse]

For generations we have been raised as submissive women, exposed throughout history to a submissive society that does not conceive the idea of free, independent and autonomous women. Today we wonder whose fault it is: society's, our parents', grandparents', or simply the consequence of being born a woman. We grow up with stories of princesses, impossible fairy tales, with which we dream that, someday, they will come true: to find Prince Charming who will rescue us from our tower in the middle of nowhere, who will give us unconditional love and in return we will serve him as a token of our gratitude... and if we do not find that "true love", if we do not fulfill what is socially expected of us, we will be judged in the worst way; we will have failed in the purpose that was imposed on us. As if we were not strong enough and capable of rescuing ourselves from our own problems, as if giving ourselves body and soul to the submission of a man's disposition without expecting the bare minimum in return were the whole purpose of our mere existence.

The media has an indirect contribution to fostering this culture of submission and although we do not identify it as one of the main aggressors, its impact is notable. It is well known that the film and television industry is mostly dominated by male figures, so it is normal to find productions that emphasize how women should be looked at and treated, according to their macho perspective; on the other hand, male attitudes are romanticized as a sign of manhood and are often violent and toxic.

The impositions of the media, and society, about finding true love is the key to happiness, they sell us the story that only if we find our "better half" we will be "happy forever"; In waiting for that person to arrive, we make the mistake of generating impossible expectations, reaching the idealization of a person that does not exist, so, when a male figure comes into our lives that minimally cares about us, we magnify and romanticize every little act of attention, we justify unhealthy jealousy with the excuse that they are only taking care of us, and so on. This behavior from which none of us, and none of us, escape becomes a vicious circle from which not all of us dare to get out, but is it really a social problem or are we just "crazy"?

Let's discuss the problem: we are born with labels according to our gender. Commonly we as women are required to fulfill what society expects us to be, to carry out the role of femininity, or what the patriarchy understands as such: we must be delicate, polite, loving and understanding; ready to serve our fellow men, be the perfect mom, clean the house, be an excellent cook, all while being beautiful and taking care of our figure to be liked by others... and not least, we must sacrifice ourselves for our loved one. Meanwhile, what does society expect from men? Masculinity, or what the patriarchy understands as such: to be strong, intelligent, independent, expecting his beloved to sacrifice everything for him; as they are the providers of the house, what does it matter if they are never there, they work to bring the family forward; what if they cheat on his wife or have another family, what does he have, he has the right to look elsewhere for what they do not give him at home, because of course it is the fault of the woman who does not take care of him as he deserves. If the roles are reversed, do you think we are judged with the same yardstick of empathy and justification? Of course not. We conclude then that being a woman is the obligatory definition of being-for-others and a man being-for-himself.

Sisters, how many of us have kept silent in the face of acts of humiliation towards other women out of fear, how many of us have walked down the street and been shouted obscenities, how many of us have been followed or had our pictures taken without consent, how many of us have changed our clothes because they look "vulgar" or provocative, how many of us have not been criticized for our physique, how many times have we been listened to when we say NO is NO...? Fellow men, how many of you have been labeled as homosexuals for not being with several women at the same time, how many of you have been scolded by your parents because you don't like soccer or wrestling, or for being "manly", how many of you have invented that you threw yourself on such and such to look good with your friends, how many times have you rejected a woman because of her physical appearance, how many of you have stopped at the first NO?

I hope that after today we all, and all of us, reflect on our attitudes and macho behaviors that we do not even know they are. Today the change is small, but tomorrow it will be huge. I would like to say goodbye by asking you: are you ready to deconstruct yourselves and start again?

[aluaparelacse]

I have to admit that i loved to write, when I was younger I usually wrote when I was sad or something bad happened to me, and that was my way to liberate me but when I was growning I have been learning how to repress my emotions and suddenly, one day I stopped to write, and then my heart didn't have any place to rest, to express, to feel without guilt, and today i wondered me 'where do my heart go when it´s broken?'

I lied to myself and to everybody if I'd said that i don't feel blue all the time, that this overwhelming feeling of fall into the empty darkness consumes me, but there are days so much heavier than others, days where open my eyes not even cost physycally, but mentally, because i don't want to wake up, days where breathing hurts me instead of fill me of life, and in those days my heart finds its safeplace in my room. A four wall's space, in a kind of emotional blockage, which I forced me to sleep to not thinking, to my thoughts do not tortured me, and I exist, laying in my bed... existing, me, without eating, without interact with anyone else, just me and my worst enemy, myself... and may pass hours, even days, and I stay there, existing, thinking about how easily might be gone and no one notice it, and one day you analyze why are you like this, why can not be a normal person, why it costs you so much try it every single day and I want to cry, scream, kick, run away, am i getting crazy? or maybe i've always been it.

One day, I told to a friend I've been used to feeling this way that I felt peace when I am depressive, that even when I'm consider I'm fine, I felt fear and anxiety, that my safeplace is me in depression, and sometimes I don't ask for help because I don't want to be help.

The place to my broken heart go is not what you, as reader, want to know, but all I need to want to you know is that it's ok if hurts, it's fine to feel, to touch bottom, and if I am still trying, you can do it as well, for some reason we all are here, and this life is to find out that reason, the only thing we have to do is living it, with its ups and downs, I won't promess you everything is going to be fine, but I promess you that your purpose it's out there, maybe you have it in front of you but you have to see carefully, I swear the try worths it, so keep doing it, and if you feel alone, don't worry, I don't find my purpose either, we are not alone, we can searching together.