alternia-and-beforus - Tumblr blog

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I like when post-game AUs with Bro Strider make him the most miserable pathetic shit you'll ever meet. No one likes him. He barely goes outside. He eats ramen for every meal. H hasn't touched grass in weeks. Hasn't showered in months. People come to visit him out of pure pity but when they actually get to interacting with him he's such a dick they forget why they tried in the first place. Like yeah, he has absolutely no direction, no evil possessed puppet anymore. He's just a dumb fuckin' asshole now lmao

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AND THATS A WRAP FOLKS!

horsestuck 1 and 2

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How the Alpha session should've gone

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reblog to be eaten by this thing

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ONW MELLION DRACUALAS@!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ATTACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OH GOD OH FUCK AUGH AUGH AUGH DRACAULAS IN MY NECK OGH AUCGH

im fine

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I hate your stupid bloooood theyremind me of turkoise slutchhh

>:]

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HI! first time caller long time listeneer. Who is KarkatBantas?

Hi first time caller, KarkatBantas is a type of worm that lives in the ground and emerges once a year to scream, before returning to its burrow. Isn't nature beautiful?

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be kin with a vocaloid song character right NEOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

Can I be that one milf with the scissors?

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society has no need for karkat vantas

And yet we must go on, burdened by the presence of Karkat Vantas as we carry him on our backs, slouching listlessly towards whatever dank and slimy breeding cavern the Signless was hatched in, I guess.

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submissive and beheadable

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I'm forever obsessed with Jane and Dirk's friendship. If they were in any other media they'd hate each other or at least have a lot of conflict with each other directly but in reality it's like. They just casually care for each other a lot! Dirk doesn't really put Jane up on a pedestal like he does with Jake and Roxy. Jane knows when Dirk is being full of bullshit. They talked to each other honestly while waiting to die about all the ways they went wrong. Out of the alpha kids they're probably the ones with the most realistic understanding of each other. Dirk wrote Jane Detective Pony. Jane read it.

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bro stop being so verbose the hoes keep having to look up dictionary definitions every time they talk to you

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ok thought hal makes a gogle doc that directly uploads dirks thoughts in real time so roxy CAN peer review and he gets so mad when roxy stops him from going on a mountain dew cleanse lmao

(2/2) “roxy: dirk i was just going to spectate yoyr thoughts like a benevolent tiger keeper but when the tiger wants to eat nothing but mountain dew fpr a MONTH i have to step in”

absolutely mortifying to think of the actual implications of this but I can imagine Dirk arguing like “In order to expend energy I need energy in the form of calories. This is undeniable, but I am trying to be more efficient with how I do that.”

roxy: you CANNOT live on mountain dew

Dirk: It has a significant amount of caffeine in it, which has been shown to boost mood and increase productivity.

roxy: YOU CANT B PRODUCTIVE IF UR DEAD

and also alternatively when Dirk finds out about hal doing that

Dirk: You’re… reading my mind.

Hal: Correct.

Dirk: You’re reading my mind, and then putting the thoughts I have in a Google Doc.

Hal: Which you have open right now.

Dirk: Yes.

Hal: Roxy has it open too, if you were curious about-

Dirk: Why is all the text like that?

Hal: Like what?

Dirk: fuckyou.png