altair1371
Altair1371
4K posts
Always give 100%, unless it's blood.
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
altair1371 · 8 years ago
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LET’S DO A REVIEW OF LISA FRANK© BRAND BERRY-SCENTED BODY WASH
WE GOT THIS SHIT AS A CHRISTMAS GIFT THANKS TO BERRY-SCENTED TUMBLR USER JENNYLOGGINS
I AM A HULKING, BURLY, MASCULINE MAN, SO USUALLY I USE OLD SPICE OR IRISH SPRING OR SOME MANLY SHIT LIKE THAT BUT TODAY I WAS OUT OF SOAP SO I USED THIS SHIT
FIRST OFF LET’S START WITH THE PACKAGING
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THIS FUCKING RAINBOW-ASS UNICORN IS THERE IN THE SHOWER EVERY DAY, EVERY FUCKING DAY THIS LITTLE FAGGOT SITS THERE AND GIVES ME THAT SULTRY GAZE WHILE IM TRYING TO CLEAN MY VULNERABLE NAKED ASS
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rub me on your body
ALSO IT’S WORTH NOTING THAT THIS SHIT COMES WITH A WARNING NOT ONLY TO KEEP IT OUT OF REACH OF CHILDREN BUT THAT PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO YOUR SKIN CAN GIVE YOU RASHES AND PROBABLY UNICORN HERPES OR SOME OTHER SHIT
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IDK ABOUT YALL BUT LAST I CHECKED THE EXACT PURPOSE OF BODY WASH IS PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO YOUR SKIN SO THAT RIGHT THERE WAS A RED FLAG BUT I PROCEEDED, ALBEIT WITH PROPER PRECAUTION AS TO AVOID APPLYING AROUND MY EYES AS DIRECTED BY THE PACKAGING OF LISA FRANK© BRAND BERRY-SCENTED BODY WASH. ALSO IT SAYS TO KEEP IT OUT OF REACH OF CHILDREN WHICH LEADS ME TO BELIEVE THEY ARE MARKETING THIS PRODUCT NOT FOR CHILDREN BUT FOR GROWN MEN SUCH AS MYSELF
I APPLIED A GENEROUS AMOUNT TO MY HANDS TO BEGIN THE CLEANING.
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i’m so fucked up
AND THAT WAS WHEN THE MOST POTENT SMELL OF ARTIFICIALLY FLAVORED BERRY I HAVE EVER EXPERIENCED IN MY LIFE HIT ME LIKE A FUCKING EARTHQUAKE
I NEARLY FELL OVER IN THE SHOWER. IT WAS SO FUCKING BERRY. IT WAS LIKE I MADE SWEET LOVE TO AN ANTHROPOMORPHIC BERRY WOMAN AND DOVE NOSE-FIRST INTO HER GUSHING FRUITY LOINS. THERE WAS NO FURTHER DOUBT THAT THIS WAS INDEED LISA FRANK© BRAND BERRY-SCENTED BODY WASH. IT’S NO WONDER LISA FRANK’S ART IS ALL SO COLORFUL, SHE’S FUCKING HIGH AS BALLS HUFFING HER BERRY-ASS BODY WASH.
IT GOT ME CLEAN BUT I HAVE A HEADACHE FROM ALL THAT FUCKING BERRY. I UNDERSTAND THE WARNING LABEL NOW. THIS SHIT IS PROBABLY TOXIC TO SMALL CHILDREN, IT’LL BERRY THEIR FUCKING BRAIN CELLS TO DEATH. DO NOT TRUST THAT SULTRY UNICORN. YOU SEE THE MILKY WHITE COLOR IT’S PROBABLY HIS SPOOGE IN THAT BOTTLE IT’S NOT EVEN BODY WASH I JUST CLEANED MYSELF WITH BUBBLY BERRY UNICORN BATTER
0/10 WOULD NOT BERRY AGAIN
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altair1371 · 8 years ago
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Year of Luigi composite card made by fan works 
In order to pay tribute to the often forgotten plumber, fans were able to submit their fan art and Luigi tribute for a composite card. It’s now available to see. Each and every individual submission can be seen here.
Buy: New Super Luigi U $29, M+L Dream Team $39
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altair1371 · 8 years ago
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Long-ways | Box-ways
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altair1371 · 8 years ago
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Pretty fucked up there are people who call other human beings “parasites” for being dependent on others to survive.
This is about people who live on government benefits. This is about disabled people. This is about unborn children. Just to clarify.
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altair1371 · 8 years ago
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altair1371 · 8 years ago
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Long-ways | Box-ways
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altair1371 · 8 years ago
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altair1371 · 8 years ago
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altair1371 · 8 years ago
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altair1371 · 8 years ago
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altair1371 · 8 years ago
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the new kids + interacting with harrison ford
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altair1371 · 8 years ago
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We’re reaching levels of brain damage that shouldn’t be possible.
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altair1371 · 8 years ago
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Buzzfeed confirmed shills for the purse industry.  Why carry a giant pocket when you can have 4 on you at all times?
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altair1371 · 8 years ago
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altair1371 · 8 years ago
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altair1371 · 8 years ago
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Can you hear me sobbing
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altair1371 · 8 years ago
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Possibly the greatest scene in documentary history. Incredible. #PlanetEarth2
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