alphaesq
Iscariot
74K posts
E, 23, They/Them. Previously merryunbirthday.
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
alphaesq · 3 hours ago
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archers gloves vs digital artist gloves being opposite of one another
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alphaesq · 7 hours ago
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people say folks with adhd struggle with "delayed rewards" aka long term goals and as such we tend to focus more on short term rewards. what they don't talk about is that at when we Do accomplish long term goals we don't actually feel anything proportionate to the amount of work we did to achieve it. In my head I suffered for a while and then money spontaneously appeared in my bank account.
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alphaesq · 24 hours ago
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collection
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alphaesq · 1 day ago
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alphaesq · 1 day ago
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Nurse giving me report on a patient: and by the way so you’re not caught off guard, he has a tattoo that says “confident fag” on his chest
Me, a confident dyke: haha nice
The nurse: what?
Me: sorry I’m also gay and think that tattoo rules
The nurse: ????????
Me:
Me remembering I don’t hear so good: what did you say the tattoo was?
The nurse: a confederate flag
Me: OH NO WAIT OOPS
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alphaesq · 2 days ago
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character who;s doomed form the start but not because of tragedy or anything but because they're a woman and their writer is a misogynist
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alphaesq · 2 days ago
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obsessed with the april fools day joke from the another crab's treasure devs
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alphaesq · 2 days ago
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girl im bored lets browse academic articles
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alphaesq · 3 days ago
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it's time to put an end to da A-POCKY-LIPS!!!
officially revealing our newest game: GREAT GOD GROVE
suck up dialogue boxes n’ use them like items to befriend gods & humans alike, and save the whole dang world!! WISHLIST NOW ON STEAM
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alphaesq · 3 days ago
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More stories from hell (retail) today I was ringing up this lady and she goes oh I want to do part of this on a gift card and the rest on normal card and I go ok and then she hands me a folded piece of paper. I think oh OK it must be folded around the gift card, right? Wrong. It is a folded sheet of 8×11 printer paper with "$40" written on the inside in ballpoint pen. I go what is this. She says a gift card. I say this is not a gift card. She says yes it is. I say this is a piece of paper with "$40" written on it. She says "well it's a gift card." I say it absolutely is not. I am grinding my teeth. She says well I want to use it. I say you physically cannot do that bc it is a piece of paper. I cannot scan or swipe it. I apologize, as if this is my fault, and not because she is completely insane. I hate it here
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alphaesq · 3 days ago
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Ppl love to say “we are living in Orwell’s 1984!!!” about everything but the shift from Trump starting the idea of a tiktok ban to “Trump is saving tiktok!” is theeee most egregious example of doublethink I’ve ever seen in real life like it’s embarrassing lmao
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alphaesq · 3 days ago
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okay so there were a ton of posts/fics about the hilarious "fuck/maryy/kill" Bruce Wayne & Justice League scenario (I read them all, amazing comedic timing y'all) but to me, the most hilarious scenario is the JL play fuck/marry/kill, Bruce's name comes up, and half of the people in the room in the know immediately turn bright red and refuse to keep playing and no one will explain why.
Hal: "...and I would fuck Bruce Wayne. No, I would kill him. Nah, actually I'd fuck him, who am I kidding."
Clark: choking on his coffee and rapidly turning an alarming shade of red
Diana: "An....interesting choice, of course."
J'onn: "Shall we play a different game?"
Hal: "Wait, what? that was the game, wasn't it?"
Ollie: "I'm with Hal, I'd fuck the shit out of Bruce. He's the easiest guy I know, it's not like it'll exactly be a hardship for him."
*every single person in the room turns to Batman, standing in the corner*
Clark: "Wow! I think I just heard someone drop an ice cream cone in Guatemala. Batman, I'll need a team up."
Ollie: "For ice cream?"
Diana, standing up and putting herself in between Bruce and Hal: "This sounds dire. I will also assist."
Clark, under his breath, one hand on Bruce's back: "It's not worth it. He's not worth it. Come on. Walk it off."
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alphaesq · 4 days ago
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It's easy to think you'd be able to do something when you know that you'd never have to actually do it.
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alphaesq · 4 days ago
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alphaesq · 5 days ago
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you came back wrong and i am racked with guilt because i cannot bear to see you like this and i should have let you rest. i loved you so much that i defied death itself but i do not think either of us are happy
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alphaesq · 5 days ago
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I just got a call back about a job that, I can not stress this enough, I applied to in 2017.
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alphaesq · 6 days ago
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My wife: Are you making a list of fonts?
Me: No, worse. I'm replicating the titles of video games but it's the fonts that they're in
My wife: What does that mean
Me: This
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