alonebutfighting

[alonebutfighting]

So much time later and I’m still not. I just need to wake up and realize this isn’t going to change and I shouldn’t have to beg for love

I would love to fucking feel like a priority for once

[alonebutfighting]

Good enough to spend the day with and to pay all the bills but not to sleep next to. Not engaged anymore so I guess I’m just a glorified roommate

[alonebutfighting]

Just the house bitch now

[alonebutfighting]

I would love to fucking feel like a priority for once

[alonebutfighting]

The truth is I’ve been suffering in silence for a long time because no one cares.

[alonebutfighting]

I just need a car to come tbone me or maybe a random heart attack. Literally anything that takes away the suffering

[alonebutfighting]

I don’t think I much fight left in me.

[alonebutfighting]

Of course you’re calm now, you got what you wanted

[alonebutfighting]

At some point you have to just accept that everyone’s life I so much better without you.

[alonebutfighting]

Imagine thinking you can’t have fucking kids for fucking yearrssssssss. Crying your fucking soul out about it. Then your whole family dying and you finally do get pregnant. And then you think you’re going to have a good pregnancy just got fucking constantly get screamed at and then left all while battling your body that’s giving up on you. I have fucking nothing.

[alonebutfighting]

I’m slowly dying

[alonebutfighting]

When you see someone struggling with mental health you don’t put them through more of the trauma of loss and then wonder why it’s so hard to heal.

[alonebutfighting]

I don’t have any fight left in me.

[alonebutfighting]

I should be celebrating the sex of my baby and instead I’m laying here crying from guilt that I get to keep reliving.

[alonebutfighting]

My home will be a home with no loud anger, no explosive rage, no slamming doors or breaking glass, no holes punched into the walls, no name calling, shaming or blackmail. My home will be gentle, it will be warm. No fear, no hurt and no worries. I may come from a broken and twisted place but I will build something whole and safe.

[alonebutfighting]

i get a lot of messages everyday asking me if i’m alright or how i’m doing

i’ve been feeling really, really low lately and i literally cannot see another way out. for now im sticking around and trying to take it day by day, but it’s getting harder and i want to quit every single second of the day

i’ve been having breakdowns and very bad/dark thoughts and i feel as though the end is coming. im trying my best to beat it but i’m so so tired. inside i have already given up but im still here , surviving instead of living

thank u for checking up on me , i really do appreciate it. hopefully all of you are doing a bit better.

thank you, ilysm 🤍

[alonebutfighting]