allys-diary

[allys-diary]

stories i om-nom-nom'd :: march 2025 (weeks 1 & 2)

I could have sworn that I went through so much more stuff in the first half of March but I guess not…because I'm still in the process of going through majority of the things I was working on, so I'll probably have some more stuff in the latter half of the month, we'll see.

CAUTION: This post will include stories from spicy audio apps. I cannot say it enough that this post, and honestly in general this blog, will either contain or discuss adult themes. If you are a child, keep out. Your wording gives you away and I am not an idiot.

As always, everything below the cut

movies

𝐌𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐲 𝟏𝟕 – 5/5

Might be giving it that rating because I am biased but so fucking be it. I had a hell of a good time watching this movie, from the plot to the comedic timing, to the obvious parody of a certain petty dictator, this movie got me hollering in my seat and also had me forgetting about the snacks I brought in.

As an appreciator of a good story, I was very happy. As a whore, I was very happy. The only thing that could have made it better was if they leaned in to the 17x18 tension because what do you mean I got robbed of this type of visual twice in my lifetime?! First the Loki TV series, and now this?!

books

𝐍𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐲 𝐃𝐫𝐞𝐰: 𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐂𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐲 𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐲𝐧 𝐊𝐞𝐞𝐧𝐞 – 3.5/5

Honestly my flabbers are gasted at how shockingly dark this went for a Nancy Drew book. They literally put in a protagonist that was giving mafia thug. As an adult I'm not complaining, but also if I had been a mother and I find out that this is what's in the book that my child was reading, it would give me a bit of pause.

𝐍𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐲 𝐃𝐫𝐞𝐰: 𝐌𝐮𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐞𝐭 𝐛𝐲 𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐲𝐧 𝐊𝐞𝐞𝐧𝐞 – 0.5/5

Good fucking god, this was horrendous, atrocious, and just downright offensive to the name of Nancy Drew. It's self-insert fanfic written by a middle-aged musty dusty crusty man whose hard drive needs to be checked because what do you mean your fantasy is going out on a date with literal baby-faced teenager Nancy Drew?

Full review & rant here

𝐈𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐁𝐥𝐮𝐞 𝐃𝐨𝐥𝐩𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐬 𝐛𝐲 𝐒𝐜𝐨𝐭𝐭 𝐎'𝐃𝐞𝐥𝐥 – 4.75/5

Much as I did enjoy getting to read about such an absolute girlboss of a character surviving through the elements of nature, I have beef now with a fictional 6-year old boy. Like yes I know that in the end it's revealed that ultimately his stupidity actually saved Karana, but still…she spent over a decade in that island with only the company of her pets. And also yes I know that this book was written in very different times, but Karana deserved to have a girlfriend like what do you mean she never sees Tutok again?! My girl deserves her ho years!

audio stories

𝐒𝐩𝐢𝐜𝐲 𝐀𝐮𝐝𝐢𝐨 𝐀𝐩𝐩 𝟐: 𝐆𝐨𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐌𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐞𝐟

Holy hell goddamn. I signed up for a new spicy audio app and bought the premium membership and went sprinting when I found out that there was a Loki story in this library. The concept was "Loki x Prison Guard Reader" smut where he seduces her into his cell and tricks her into inadvertently letting him out of his cell. The actress for the prison guard performed like rent was due, the Loki actor put in the work to actually sounding like Tom when the smut actually kicks in, especially when he says "Oh yes…" that it threw me for a loop, and the overall audio production is just…it's great. It's so great.

There's also apparently a "request a story" feature that's available to me since I'm a premium member…and I am halfway tempted to send in a request for either a frost giant Loki or…Loki on the throne.

𝐒𝐩𝐢𝐜𝐲 𝐀𝐮𝐝𝐢𝐨 𝐀𝐩𝐩 𝟐: 𝐕𝐞𝐥𝐯𝐞𝐭 𝐓𝐨𝐮𝐜𝐡

A husband decides to give his wife a massage to help her relax from all the stresses of the world…gone sensual and then gone sexual.

There's a good few stories I'm working on om-nom-nom'ing and I can't wait to talk about them (namely a handful of books and some documentaries). Anyways, let's see what weeks 3 & 4 bring. See y'all in two weeks.

[allys-diary]

when i was a child i was itching and racing to grow up too fast…

This is gonna be a long one so the entire story is under the cut

I was 14 years old and I wanted so bad to interact with the people in the Twilight fandom (it was early 2009), particularly the writers that wrote some of the smut that later turned into traditionally published romance novels. And idk maybe it was some ego-driven and pride-driven part of myself that wanted to make a name and be like "Ohh I'm the youngest to have ever gotten in" type shit, so I disclosed to them my real age.

Those adults did the responsible thing, and locked out my account. Banned me by IP address. But alas, I was 14 and felt entitled to their time and attention, so I just felt infuriated like "How dare they kick me out of their secret adults only club, I am mature for my age and they should know that" blah blah blah, you get the point.

I wish I could say that 14 year old Ally respected their hard boundaries that they've set of "Hey you're a kid, we don't want you here because you're a kid. Go be a kid. Enjoy kid things. When you grow up and you still want to come hang with us, we'll welcome you." I wish I could say I walked away and heeded their advice to go and enjoy kid things.

But alas, I did not. 14 year old Ally did not do the responsible thing. She was just angry, and instead studied how the others interacted. Instead she did what I suspect kids these days still do.

She made a fake account, with a whole new fake identity…as soon as her IP address changed because we had a new internet provider at home, so the ban on the forums was a thing of the past.

So when I was 14 and starting out my sophomore year in High School, I created Aurora Latimer, a 19 year old college student that was trying to decide on a major. And I signed up, said I was born in 1989 and prayed to any god that was listening that I would be let in so I can start reaching out and making friends.

And I did. I got in.

Soon enough, I was getting mutuals and was conversing with all the people I've wanted to talk with since I made the first account that got kicked out. No one was the wiser that the short glimpses I put into my personal life were that of a 2nd year high school student. I did my research and made sure that I talked the way these adults talked. I put in the effort.

And now 15+ years later I look back at those times and thanks to the genius that is hindsight, I realize I should have taken their advice. I should have walked away and enjoyed the kid things and not have been in such a rush to grow up because honestly? Aside from the whole "Now I have big girl money and I can buy whatever the hell I want (within reason)" perk of adulthood…it lowkey fucking sucks.

I also got to look back and realize that maybe I wasn't so slick with some of my movements back then. Some actions could have had more thought put into it (but again, I was 14/15; I didn't know any better because I was a child). Like how clingy I behaved toward my favorite users on Twitter (no I'm not calling it its new name, it's stupid), because when they wouldn't reply to me for days I'd ask them "Did I do something wrong?" and just exuded the energy of "Pls like me again I'll be good I swear".

"Aurora" needed constant validation from the adults around her that her stories were good, that her tweets were funny and that it was okay to interact with the people she liked. And now, once again looking back thanks to the gift of hindsight, I realized how thinly constructed my stories were, not just my stories as "Aurora" but also my fanfics in general. They were put together with kindergarten paste glue and a dream, and honestly how anyone liked the absolute slop I put out 15 years ago is a mystery not even Sherlock Holmes, Blair Waldorf, Mona Vanderwaal, and Veronica Mars combined could solve.

Looking back at my time when I was a teenager in a rush to become an adult, I expected to cringe at my own actions and want to give younger me a hug and tell her "It's alright to just be a kid. Take your time growing up, all those problems waiting for you when you become an adult can fucking wait. Walk, don't run, into being a grownup."

What I wasn't expecting was that I would now be in the shoes of the adults who had once kicked me out. Now I block people from my content to protect both them and myself when I realize they're a minor interacting with my stories; because I write smut. Now that I live in fandom as someone completely and unapologetically myself, no matter how cringe some of my stuff might be, I can recognize the behaviors that I once had when I was a teenager pretending to be someone older.

My wording gave me away. My clinginess gave me away. And my adamant behavior that I would someway somehow be the exception to the rule and these adults would love my personality if they just gave me a chance…that gave me away.

𝘚𝘰 𝘸𝘩𝘺 𝘢𝘮 𝘐 𝘴𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘸?

Well, because now while pages from my own literal playbook are being duplicated, I want to reiterate that I am not an idiot, and those old footsteps that these children have followed on the path to fake online identities? Those size 7 Converse All-Star aged & petrified footprints in the dirt…are mine.

I will repeat myself. You wording isn't slick, and I am not an idiot.

[allys-diary]

stories i om-nom-nom'd :: february 2025 (weeks 3 & 4)

Got sick like three times back to back to back (along with sharko week) throughout the latter half of the month, so I'm putting weeks 3 and 4 together.

As always, everything below the cut

movies

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐇𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐆𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬: 𝐂𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐅𝐢𝐫𝐞 – 3.5/5

Feels a bit topical watching these movies in these trying times, I gotta be honest. But also watching them again when I got older had me appreciate that much as part of the allure to the target audience was the love triangle, the focus wasn't actually on that. There was a build of the tension and the occasional reminder that there is a tension there for sure, but there was also an appreciated effort to show Peeta's character and how he didn't bitch and whine about Katniss having Gale in her life.

Also that twist reveal at the end that Plutarch was actually an inside man working for District 13 was a fun stroke of genius. I quite liked how that was handled. No heavy-handed foreshadowing seen here.

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐇𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐆𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬: 𝐌𝐨𝐜𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐣𝐚𝐲 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟏 – 3.5/5

It feels even more eerie watching this compared to the 2nd movie. It almost feels like a mirror of times to come, and I for one am lowkey scared of what we're about to witness in our lifetimes. The concept of hijacking in this universe is absolutely terrifying and also intriguing enough that my writer brain's going brrrr and wants to try and put a twist on that in a story one day.

And also Katniss' self-awareness that she was stringing along two boys was a bit unnerving, especially when she said "Did I lose them both tonight?" Like I get that they were going for distraught and that the vibe was supposed to be "The love of her life might have just died trying to save the love of her life", but I can't turn my brain off for long enough so that I wouldn't go "But wait hold on why does she have two loves of her life?"

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐇𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐆𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬: 𝐌𝐨𝐜𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐣𝐚𝐲 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟐 – 4/5

There's honestly so much about the story in this movie in particular that has my writer brain getting overcome with zoomies. And also this is one of those movies that has me feeling a special kind of sad nostalgia because it's the end of a years-long movie series so a bunch of characters that I've started to feel for sadly leave the screen (I'm still depressed over Finnick's death all these years later, he deserved to live his life with his wife and kiddo).

𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐇𝐮𝐫𝐭𝐬 – 4/5

Do I think that Ke Huy Quan deserves to be an action movie lead with a bit more meat to the story? Yes. Did I still enjoy this movie and would I watch it again? Yes and yes. And also on a similar note, more comedy roles for Lio Tipton please, they deserve it.

books

𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐈 𝐆𝐨𝐭 𝐃𝐫𝐮𝐧𝐤 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐘𝐞𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐚 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐏𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐭 𝐚 𝐖𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐰𝐨𝐥𝐟 𝐛𝐲 𝐊𝐢𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐲 𝐋𝐞𝐦𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠 – 5/5

Read this this month as a buddy read with one of my besties and when I tell y'all this book had me hollering with its comedy. I would recommend this to anyone that likes a romcom with fated mates and a dirty talking golden retriever of an MMC. Ohh, and also Alexis. We all need an Alexis in our lives. And Alexis deserves to be turned human and have the sexy merman of her dreams, thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

games

𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐟 & 𝐅𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬

Chapter 2 Part 1, William Kang's Oh Pizza! Fred seems determined to still worm his way into getting under the skin of the team, so at this point this is no longer a business thing for him, he's going against Ethan's orders for the sake of having fun. I despise having to say it but Ethan was right, this one's a bigger problem than his bratty ass will ever be.

William's interview with Grace is about as disastrous as he could ever have it go, with her creating the most flowery praises for him regardless of what he actually says. And also she accidentally calls Greg "sweetheart" when he was looking for Claire and called out "honey", which sent her scurrying off to a corner somewhere. And honestly I wanted to find a corner to crawl into after that secondhand embarrassment.

William's also developed a bit of an attachment to the team, which I suspect is in part because our character's immune to his blessing/curse. But seeing that Claire was also shaken up with what Fred told her, he tries to offer some encouraging words for her to keep on the team's mission to help one restaurant at a time.

Of course at the end of this set of quests, Fred's visibly annoyed that he didn't crush Claire's morale but he's attributing it to having William help us, so I guess we'll have to face off with him in the next restaurant.

Chapter 2 Part 2, Auntie Pam's Sweet Tooth This is gonna be fun…Sweet Tooth is a former biker bar that Auntie Pam purchased and intends to turn into a bakery. Ethan initially decides against buying the property because it "looks too bad", but changes his mind in 0.5 seconds when Ashley goes "actually this place seems pretty cool". I swear if Ethan's got a schoolboy crush on Ashley after she saved his life a few episodes back, the telenovela is telenovela-ing.

I don't really have a lot of plans going into March, but there are some movies I'm looking forward to seeing (hopefully one of them in the cinema) like Mickey17, F Marry Kill, and (maybe) Snow White. And then books-wise, I just wanna get through like…idk 4? Maybe 5? We'll see if I can manage more, I have some work stuff mid-March that might eat up a good chunk of my time whew--

[allys-diary]

stories i om-nom-nom'd :: february 2025 (week 2)

Bought more books last weekend and now I really need to get rid of some stuff on my physical TBR because I am weak and I found sprayed edges of Deep End by Ali Hazelwood in the bookstore.

As always, everything under the cut

books

𝐍𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐲 𝐃𝐫𝐞𝐰 𝐆𝐢𝐫𝐥 𝐃𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞: 𝐏𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐂𝐫𝐢𝐦𝐞

Whoever was in charge of putting this particular trilogy together, someone cooked here. I surprisingly had a pretty engaging time going through this book, and successfully created a character that I just had a completely visceral reaction to the second she showed up. I swear to god, Portia, when I catch you, Portia--

But anyway, they were able to create a victim that wasn't actually a victim but a perpetrator of another crime who was incapable of even a crumb of remorse, and sprinkled in just enough breadcrumbs that could lead the reader into the plot of the next book. This wasn't heavy handed, the main characters was not on full pick-me mode like she was in a previous trilogy that I went through, and again, I actually flew through the last few chapters.

All I have to say is this, if this character was written in this decade, Nancy wouldn't be dating Ned. She'd be in a rivals to lovers multi-book story arc with Deirdre. But nobody's ready for that conversation.

𝐀𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐲𝐬𝐭 𝐄𝐲𝐞𝐬 𝐛𝐲 𝐌𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐚 𝐁𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐨𝐧

The power system logic of this book is absolutely wild and I had a cackling good time reading it. Mystical stones, faeries, witches, and horny AF fated mates. I'm not exactly chomping at the bit to read the next book in the series (because apparently there are 3), but I am just a little bit curious on how Jalon (the one FMC's cousin, who will be the main character of Book 2) will warm up to the idea of receiving a mango ride because one of his fated mates is a male faerie. But again…maybe if I ever get through this never-ending TBR.

movies

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐆𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞 – 4/5 ⭐️

Quite surprised how much I enjoyed this movie, but a love story between two snipers on opposite sites of a "ground zero" type site, set to a backdrop of a decades-old secret that could most likely end the entire world if it ever got out? With a happy ending? This was honestly delightful. Also petition to have Anya Taylor-Joy in more action roles, she was exceptional in this.

games

𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐟 & 𝐅𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬

Chapter 1 Part 4, Shantee's Quiet Lagoon This episode starts out with Shantee reaching out to the team in desperate need of help because her restaurant was affected by a storm that passed through the area. And of course Ethan's arrest didn't last long so he's rolled his sleazy ass into the chat to try buying the property out from under Shantee for half the price "because the place is a wreck". In the words of RDJ, "new mask, same task" I guess.

Ethan places a call to Grace telling her about how "awful" a restaurant is so she could hopefully write a scathing piece about it but thankfully she brushes him off because she has another important meeting to attend to. So it looks like we won't be dealing with her at least for the first half of this story.

As of this episode, Claire and Greg are officially dating (but idk something in my reader gut tells me that this won't last, and I don't know if I wanna hope that I'm wrong); he wants to tell the team, and she wants to keep it private and scurries off when he first brings up that we witnessed their kiss in the previous restaurant. Also apparently the island is cursed according to a note that Ethan and Philip found. Why do I wanna bet a body part that Ethan placed those notes around the area to scare Shantee off?

Ashley reassures the team that if there really is some curse going around and there's an "island ghost" in the area that she'll take care of it, and a new mysterious figure pops up and scares Ethan that he better stay out of his way "or else". (Okay so maybe possibly I could be wrong about Ethan placing the notes, maybe it's this new shady mystery bitch). Philip, the precious himbo that he is, thinks that this new mystery bitch is the "island ghost" and right now needs convincing that this man is very much tangible and very much a threat.

Mysterious "island ghost" dude is named Fred claiming to be a weather analyst and according to him, it's a 'waste of money' to renovate the Quiet Lagoon since they anticipate that there's gonna be a few more nasty storms coming in. But thanks to context clues, I don't buy it one bit giving how he spoke to Ethan. I think Ethan's just the face of the company but someone else is running the corporation while Mr Shark's off doing spoiled rich boy shenanigans all over the country. And I think that someone is Fred.

Two cutscenes later and it's revealed that Fred does work for Well-Fed Shark and he's offering to buy the Quiet Lagoon out of Shantee so that "a weather station will be built in its place". Unfortunately, Shantee's so shaken that she's nearly moved to sell so she tells him to ready the paperwork. (Really? After all the work you wanted us to do, you fold to a man in a tailored suit THIS easily?)

Fred's a very different type of antagonist, a bit more refined in his jabs compared to Ethan, but also might accidentally be giving off more information than he'd initially intend to all in the name of rubbing our noses in his victory. He says something about his analysis of Shantee's character that has Claire springing to action so she can make her change her mind about selling, pulling a Dominic Torreto and talking about la familia

Shantee decides not to sell, but Fred gloats some more that "his business in the island is already taken care of" and the restaurant would have just been a nice bonus, so it looks like he's got more nonsense in store for us to face in potentially a future episode. Also from their interaction, I'm guessing Fred's family name is also Shark, and he's more in charge behind the scenes than Ethan is.

Just as we were about to wrap up and Claire & Greg were about to tell the team that they're officially dating with a cute lil kiss at the beach (and at sunset no less), he receives a text from Grace that they have to meet up "because she has some news". Bitchetta that news better not be in the form of a positive pregnancy test because I swear I will throw hands if it is--

Chapter 2 Part 1, William Kang's Oh Pizza! As a change of pace from what we've grown used to in Chapter 1, Oh Pizza! is not a run down restaurant but it is in need of a makeover. The owner William Kang had it designed in a maximalist style that he wants toned down so that it looks more like a restaurant rather than a museum. And also in another turn of events, Ethan took one look at the restaurant and its owner and just went "I'm not touching this", so at least that won't be much of a problem…we'll see though.

It seems from William's story that there's a certain witchy element that's being introduced in the game, as he mentions that he once helped a woman in a town called Crooked Pines, and she blessed him with constant success moving forward. Sadly it seems it served as a double-edged sword because now he's got the worst case of imposter syndrome from having everyone think that everything he does is some stroke of new avant garde genius. It also looks like our character, the team chef, is immune somehow to this blessing/curse placed on him. So does that mean we have certain powers that'll be explored in the game? Or this is just plot armor?

Our respite from Well-Fed Shark was insanely short lived because right after tidying up the mess we made from smashing up statues with William (his idea), Fred shows up claiming to "just be an ordinary customer" this time around and just wanting to see what's on the menu.

William tells us that he wants to learn to cook so that he actually feels that he deserves the accolades that he gets, and while we're teaching him how to cook, Claire's keeping a close watch on Fred to make sure that he doesn't resort to any dirty tactics to somehow swipe this restaurant from under our and William's noses. But Fred arrogantly assures us that he's not, and that he doesn't have to. Because for every one restaurant that we save, another dozen have surrendered to Well-Fed Shark, according to him. Can someone say "world domination", much?

Greg sees that Claire's confirmation of what Fred disclosed to her is affecting her, so he tries to think of something to do that could cheer her up, but before he could even get to Step 1, Grace shows up earlier than scheduled ready to spring news on him. I really could be wrong about all this, but I just have this feeling that Claire & Greg as a couple isn't gonna last.

Grace tells us that her magazine has permanently assigned her to cover all of the restaurants that we renovate, so it looks like we're gonna be seeing a whole lot more of her moving forward. I really hope that this is all the news that she has to tell us. Also it seems that she's not immune to whatever William was blessed/cursed with because even as he approached us asking what tool to roll dough out with completely covered in flour, she applauds him and talks about how "he's still willing to learn so much even though he's a master". This man was really blessed with an extreme case of main character syndrome, goddamn--

I'm currently making my way through a bunch of books so let's see what next week has in store

[allys-diary]

stories i om-nom-nom'd :: february 2025 (week 1)

I'm on a mission to be an absolute fiend when it comes to getting through my watch list and my TBR, so hopefully taking the time to write about it and get my thoughts (and thots) out there will help me somewhat

As always, everything under the cut

books

𝐍𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐲 𝐃𝐫𝐞𝐰 𝐆𝐢𝐫𝐥 𝐃𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐆𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐒𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬

In a twist I could not have seen coming, I'm actually enjoying this particular collection of stories and have found what could have been the strength of this batch of writers for the Carolyn Keen brand, had they recognized what they had. Their strength wasn't in creating full book-length stories that they forcibly extended into trilogies, but in the shorter, quicker to consume ones. They also would have benefited greatly from having character reference sheets while they were working on the stories because goddamn entire personalities were flip-flopping mid-story, and it seemed like Nancy couldn't even remember if George & Beth were cousins or sisters, and also…couldn't remember if her boyfriend's name was Ned or Nick.

𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐉𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐥𝐞 𝐛𝐲 𝐒𝐨𝐩𝐡𝐢𝐚 𝐒𝐧𝐨𝐰𝐞

Probably one of the goofiest smutty stories I've read in a while. Also had me questioning on multiple occasions "Is this fucking play about us?" because of the way the FMC was thirsting over the not-so-subtly name dropped Tom Hiddleston, Tom Ellis, and Henry Cavill. The bit with the mini Santa hat was diabolical, it might just stay with me for the rest of my life. Can't wait to jump into the second book of this couple's story where we ditch the goofiness and go straight into drama because the MMC is engaged to be married to FMC's stepmother (dun dun duuuuuuun)

𝐅𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐍𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐛𝐲 𝐋𝐚𝐮𝐫𝐞𝐧 𝐁𝐥𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐥𝐲

Boy howdy this novella was a ride and a half and has me pumped to dive into the official first book of the series and continue Clay & Julia's story. And the last bits of this story straight up had me kicking my feet and twirling my hair over how much of a softie Clay was constantly thinking about her and having an entire itinerary planned out for how he wants their date to go. Spectacular, give me 14 of them.

games

𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐟 & 𝐅𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬

Chapter 1 Part 1, Mary's Homestyle Pancakes Pushing on with the story of Chapter 1, Ethan has decided to pull a complete bitch baby move and hire a food critic (that he most likely paid off) to "ruin" Mary's pancake restaurant. We've also been introduced to Ashley, the stylist of the group who's gonna give Mary a new look before the food critic arrives.

Greg seems all kinds of nervous about this mysterious food critic, but despite that he musters up the courage to ask Claire out on a date "when" they win, so he's got a good bit of confidence at least. Grace Critt, the food critic, then arrives and Ethan's panicking because the restaurant is unrecognizable and "Ms Critt shouldn't see this" (the lil bitch). He then resorts to talking smack about Mary because "even if the place has been improved, he can guarantee that the owner is still a mess and a half" which she isn't thanks to Ashley.

Chapter 1 Part 1 ends with Grace Critt giving Mary's Homemade Pancakes top marks and then skedaddling outta there like her ass was on fire when she saw who the team's interior designer was, Claire and Greg go out on their date, and we have a cutscene that shows Grace in the same room as a sleeping Greg. Excuse me hwhat?! So either Grace and Greg are a strained married couple or they're already exes and she's in the process of moving out, but honestly…the drama.

Chapter 1 Part 2, Alan's Burger Wurger I can't even make this name up, and I hate to say it, I fully agree with Ethan's reaction to the name, but that's the only half an inch I'm giving to this power-hungry robot-slinging mf. This part starts up with Ethan attempting to buy the burger place but us and Claire showing up to tell him he's got another fight ahead of him. And also a reveal that Greg never showed up for that date after we bumped into Grace Critt back in the pancake place. So that changes the story a bit…in the sense that now it looks like when Greg and Grace saw each other, they hooked up and he stood Claire up. Congratulations, Greg, claim your "lil bitch" pin at the front desk, you can join Ethan in the club of tiny tiny men.

Now Greg's fidgety around Claire and avoiding the fact that he asked her out to dinner if the food critic's inspection was successful, and she's confused and straight up asking us if she just good stood up. You did, babes, you did.

We also learn here that Philip is a precious himbo that subconsciously has a thing for playing matchmaker, and tried to set up Alan and Ashley. Claire tells us that Ethan's tactic of choice seems to be "If I can't buy it, then I'll call a critic", to which Greg goes "Oh yea Grace did mention she's coming by today". When did Grace mention that? When y'all were in bed?! Imma fight a man--

And as if things aren't bad enough, Ethan pops his lil bitch ass up before we've even gotten to fixing the door…or the interior design…like all we have is a little corner booth that looks like a cozy date night spot if you and your partner are in the mood for burgers. And he tries to sic Grace on us going "go be a dear and close the place down already, chop chop". Uhm…excuse you first of all, bitch 😤😤 Claire appeals to Grace to give them the day to finish the interior (we love video game logic in this household), and Ethan basically goes "spare me the sob story, you blonde wannabe". Greg tries to defend Claire and Grace goes "Greg why don't we have a word in private". Greg you're really close to making me go "they can never make me like you", bitch you better be groveling if you want Claire to give you another chance--

Claire overhears what Grace and Greg were talking about (which was that Grace was claiming it was a mistake inviting Greg to spend the night with her, and he agrees because he was "acting childish"), so now Claire's got confirmation that yes she was definitely stood up all in the name of booty calls from the Ghost of Relationships Past. And she's just trying to stand on business and keep the renovation project pushing (we love Claire in this household). This is where Greg reveals that Grace is his ex-wife, meanwhile precious himbo Philip crawled around in the vents and found Ethan's pen jammed in there which caused a brief misting problem in the restaurant. Well, at least we know he lives up to his family name "Shark", the lil bitch.

Of course Ethan denies it, but luckily he's conceited enough to have had his fancy pen engraved with his full government name along with "Lord of the World" on the body, so there's really no escape from that.

The Burger Wurger chapter ends with Claire telling Greg off that he shouldn't have asked her out if he was still involved with someone else, and we love a queen that knows her worth in this household.

Chapter 1 Part 3, Chloe's Sakura Blossom Things start off a bit different here, with a flash forward to some absolute mayhem that happens after we've finished renovating the restaurant and giving its owner Chloe a makeover (one of which involves a snapshot of a kiss between Claire and Greg, but I guess we'll get to it later), and Chloe telling us that apparently our merry band of Restaurant Avengers has garnered a bit of a fan club because of Grace's articles praising the establishments we've rescued so far. Chloe reaches out to us in hopes of sprucing up her restaurant since a "cute guy" bought the establishment from her, and we discover that said "cute guy" is actually Ethan Shark, and he's about to boss us around for this episode (ohh joy).

Ethan also starts off on this episode being adamant that we don't look in the attic (we better take a look in that damn attic). And Claire offers a truce between her and Greg so that they can work together in relative peace (that shouldn't have been on you, queen, you did nothing wrong).

Seems that Shark's plan is to have journalists at the ready for the grand re-opening of Sakura Blossom, which probably means he's got something real sketchy planned at Chloe's expense and dear God I hate it already. At this point we also receive an anonymous email telling us to check the attic, so for sure Ethan's got something fishy tucked away up there.

(insert Claire going "were def touching that tree")

Ethan was adamant nobody touch the attic…or the bonsai, and our chaotic queen said "Instructions unclear, I'm moving this thing", revealing that there's a secret set of stairs that leads up to a secret attic that apparently Chloe knew nothing about. Going up the stairs leads to Claire and Greg finding some flavor enhancers that honestly look radioactive, and it looks like Ethan's planted that there to make it seem like idk maybe Chloe's poisoning the ramen and he can have Grace declare the restaurant condemned and now Ethan can turn it into another robot-run restaurant.

Kinda looking forward to seeing what I get up to reading and playing next week, so let's see what chaos and/or nonsense Valentine's Week's got in store.

[allys-diary]

meet missy the snek

(caution: may or may not be the god of mischief in disguise)

[allys-diary]

stories i om-nom-nom'd :: january 2025

Sporadic updates because much as I can balance my life (somewhat), I still need some practice before I can fully leave my bedrotting days behind me

All the stuff after the cut

tv shows

𝐈𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐃𝐚𝐫𝐤

Decided to finally watch some of the near-feature-length projects that were involved in this horror anthology, and let's say some were hits, some where alright, and some were full on misses. Spun the wheel of names to determine what my sample size would be and here they are…

They Come Knocking Had it not been for Robyn Lively and her portrayal of the mother both in human and (imagined) monstrous ghost form, I would have (and should have) DNF'd this. || full review here

School Spirit I'm honestly a bit indifferent about the "ghost" red herring, but I can appreciate the attempt at a pun for naming the episode School Spirit when there's an urban legend of a spirit roaming the halls of the school. Other than that all I have to say to Brett is…my dude, weren't you tired having to change into the costume before you went for a kill and then changing back to rejoin the group and pull the innocent act? Weren't you like…sweaty? How are you not sweaty?? || full review here

Pure Watching a piece about toxic girl dads with my own dad was a vibe that I honestly recommend if you have a healthy relationship with y'alls fathers. We roasted the everloving fuck out of these weirdos. Also…the jumpscares in this one got me, Lilith you're a baddie but honestly you did me a bit dirty with that bed jumpscare how very dare you || full review here

documentaries

𝐃𝐢𝐝𝐝𝐲: 𝐌𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫'𝐬 𝐅𝐚𝐥𝐥

I feel like this barely scratched the surface of what the actual allegations are, and it was pieced together somewhat haphazardly just so they can say they were one of the first to drop the documentary on this POS excuse of a person. I'm gonna wait for the one 50 Cent's working on. Josh Johnson said it best, "I hope Diddy gets life, and I hope he lives forever"

games

𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐟 & 𝐅𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬

With GameHouse deciding to stop the story updates for Delicious World last year, it seems Mytona has stepped up to the plate in the realm of episodic story-driven cooking games. At first glance, what I'm getting is that we play as a chef traveling the world with our friend Claire and helping breathe a new life into run down restaurants before the evil corporate man that owns a chain of robot-run food establishments, Ethan, can buy them out of their property. There's a potential romance side story between Claire and the interior designer, Greg, but I haven't gotten that far into the story yet

𝐇𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐨 𝐊𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐲 𝐈𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐀𝐝𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞

I've finally finished the main story of what seems to be "Season 1" as far as the lore goes, and honestly in my mind Sunblink & Sanrio still haven't beaten the Loki allegations because the entire story of "Season 1" revolves around an island spirit stuck in a tree deep in the heart of the island who's hurting because she believes her friends abandoned her. And with the reveal of Retsuko's friend Fenneko that apparently this entire YEAR-LONG adventure that we've been on has only happened in the span of TWO DAYS for anyone outside the island. My mind's wrecked, we're stuck in some time prison thingy that's separate to the rest of the world where time moves differently, the being that keeps the island alive was stuck in a tree, and I can't help but go "is this the TVA? Island Spirit, is your name Loki??"

[allys-diary]

stories i om-nom-nom'd :: october 2024

Finally got around to catching everything up (What is this? A life with an touch of "balance"? It almost doesn't feel right--)

End of Oct2024 Update: I was right, it didn't feel right. Life threw me a curveball literally second week of the month because I dared say the "q word".

movies

𝐉𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐩𝐨𝐭! (𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒) – 𝟒/𝟓 ⭐️

An absolutely ridiculous movie with an insane dystopian premise, and yet somehow I went into it going "You know what, that could actually happen in this lifetime, shit's been fucked a long time…this feels like natural progression for some reason."

I had a pretty good time watching this and just seeing everyone turn up the goofball behavior to 11. Action scenes were good, and I'm pretty sure that this is a bit of a teaser on what Awkwafina's action scenes are gonna be like for when she comes back to MCU in the upcoming projects. Like you can tell that even though her character was meant to be on the "weak" side and unable to fight, the choreography kind of gave it away that she's been training 👏👏

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐊𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐫'𝐬 𝐆𝐚𝐦𝐞 (𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒) – 𝟒.𝟓/𝟓 ⭐️

The only thing about this is that I wished we got more action scenes from Pom Klementieff. They fumbled the bag so hard making Joe's "final boss" fight be her right hand man/boy toy rather than actually having a face off of Joe v Antoinette.

tv shows

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐄𝐝𝐠𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐒𝐥𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐒𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝟏 (𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐕𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐨)

(Putting in a gratuitous shot of shirtless Markiplier because why tf not, it's in the show)

I have beef with Jeff Bezos and the entirety of Amazon now for how spectacularly they failed at the marketing for this show and constantly moved the goal post to something that seemed impossible and made Mark's fanbase work on triple overtime. Especially knowing that they gave the most unethical YouTuber one hundred million doll hairs to reproduce some warped and somehow even more dangerous version of Squid Game but make it IRL.

But I'll probably do a deeper dive on that in the near-ish future. All I'm gonna say now is that I'm glad the series is finally out, and I really hope they make more because while the series did end the same way as Season 1 of the podcast did, there's something at the end a la Marvel that teases what could go down in Season 2. Ohh, and I wish the episodes were longer.

𝟐 𝐁𝐫𝐨𝐤𝐞 𝐆𝐢𝐫𝐥𝐬

S01E01 "Pilot" After getting clips of this so many times while doomscrolling on YT Shorts, I've finally decided to get into the series, and so far even though I know that it's full of jokes that 100% would not fly in 2024, I'm living for it. The first episode introduces the titular "2 broke girls", Max and Caroline, and explains the backstory of just how Caroline got to cross paths with her future bestie. She's the daughter of a disgraced billionaire that scammed countless people out of their own money and now all of her assets have been frozen and she has nothing, leading her to a small diner in Williamsburg where she hopes to start over. By the end of this episode, we're introduced to what will be the central plot of the entire series: Max and Caroline are going to save up to start a cupcake shop together, "and all they need is 250k".

games

𝐔𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐜𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫: 𝐁𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐁𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐬

Chapter 23 : Vera follows Bluejay's advice and talks to Gabe about what she found in Inferno, giving him another suspect other than Lilly's ex Sam and pulling from their own history that stormy breakups don't necessarily lead to violence. At the end of the shift Jericho finds out that Vera's a barmaid at another club (you know, the one called Club?) and right before he can start putting the moves on her, Gabe pulls up and starts asking about who's in charge.

Chapter 24 : Jericho makes a big show of exactly how not to behave when being questioned by the police (he's full on defensive and combative and insists on his rights to not have to show anything, which just adds to the sus behavior), and our side mission is to answer any questions the cops have while still managing to get everyone's orders down in a timely manner (they weren't kidding when they said "time management"). At shift end, Gabe asks to see the back room, Jericho puts on more toddler behavior and refuses, but Ash is already coming in clutch and replaced some of the blood bags with strawberry margarita mix and explains that since they're a "goth establishment", it's just a gimmick, and even gives Gabe a taste of one. And now Gabe's doubting Vera and calling her an "overemotional neurotic"

𝐃𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐖𝐞𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠

Episode 5, Day 1: Emily can't go to Ireland on such short notice because of the price, and Patrick tries to reassure her that everything's gonna work out and she doesn't have to go, but bitch ass Brigid's gotten it into her head that this is cockamamie ritual's the only way to appease Lady Mary, and even has the gall and wherewithal to look ohh so happy at the end of the shift when she finds out that the trip's been canceled since the ticket's so expensive.

Tell me Brigid, what good would this do again? Going out of your way and bending over forwards and backwards to thwart your son's wedding ?! It's not like he's gonna marry you , you fucking weirdo. The toxic boy mom energy's insane with this bitch , I swear to high heavens

Episode 5, Day 2: Francois once again coming in clutch and spending his lottery winnings on a ticket to Dublin for Emily . We all need a bestie like Francois istg. Side mission for this episode is to load up Emily's suitcases to the cab. Only thing as at the end, once again Brigid's looking more and more like she wants to marry her own damn son because she ends up announcing that she's going to Dublin with Emily and her family . And another thing at the end? Patrick finds the lucky penny at the restaurant, so Emily & gang (and Brigid, the fuck) are about to arrive in Dublin realizing that they went there for nothing.

𝐃𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐖��𝐫𝐥𝐝

Season 2, Episode 3, Part 13: Turns out that Sarah's an equal-opportunity bitch and starts throwing barbs at Monet, too…she just leaves her "best" jabs for Emily. Then Luca pops up revealing that the big wigs have decided that the Rising Chef episode won't air on prime-time because of some "shocking revelations" that were made, putting Emily in an internal panic.

Season 2, Episode 3, Part 14: Frank and Monet are scouring the net trying to see if they're the subject of the "shocking news" that led to the decision to take the show off of prime-time but find nothing, and Monet decides that he shouldn't let the public's perception of him dictate what he creates, or who he dates (ohh hey look that rhymed). He decides that in this round he'll create something as Felix the chef rather than Monet the artist.

Season 2, Episode 3, Part 15: Luca makes a comment about how underwhelming Monet's simplified menu for this round of Rising Chef is, sending him into a panic. Leroy walks in and announces to all the contestants that their slot on prime time TV has been bumped in favor of airing a special all about the engagement of Sarah's sister, Shivani. This brings up all of Sarah's insecurities of being in her sister's shadow all over again, making her down two entire glasses of wine in one go, and already looking tipsy afterward.

𝐆𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐂𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐀𝐩𝐩

We've entered a new event where the outfits to be won are basically "Tell me you made a Simpsons costume without actually saying the name Simpson because this isn't an official partnership", where Mia and Leo are looking forward to binging the new season of their favorite show and decided to dress like the show's main characters "Glomer" and "Farge"

youtube & tiktok channels that devoured my watch minutes

I haven't really been consuming anything other than ASMR channels to help me sleep, so once again I'll be recommending some channels that have been most effective in giving me that nice cozy vibe or actually straight up sending me to dreamland, along with a recommended video from them

𝐀𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐥𝐬 𝐀𝐒𝐌𝐑

𝐖𝐡𝐢𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐖𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰 𝐀𝐒𝐌𝐑

𝐒𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐒𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐀𝐒𝐌𝐑

𝐓𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐀𝐒𝐌𝐑

stories to om-nom-nom next

𝐑𝐞𝐝 𝐎𝐧𝐞

Might not like The Rock/Dwayne Johnson all that much (barely at all), but I am a ✨whore✨ so obviously I'm gonna watch this for Evans.

𝐒𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐞𝐭'𝐬 𝐇𝐚𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐇𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐥

Just in time for spooky season, Game House Original Stories released a brand new game that centers around titular character Scarlet Harrington, along with her husband Charles and their son Ian, as they manage a hotel that she inherited from long-estranged great-aunt Maud.

I didn't have a lot of time to give when it comes to playing games with plot that I could write about in these posts because of family emergencies and the subsequent family drama that followed…all throughout October…so I wasn't able to get into any of the games or even get into as much movies, shows, or content in general. Hopefully it'll be different for November, we'll see…

[allys-diary]

stories i om-nom-nom'd :: april 2024 to july 2024

As always, spoilers, thots, and thoughts below the cut. There's so much that I probably missed because it's months worth of backlog (I kind of forgot that I was doing this lol whelp--), but I'll include as much as I remember

movies

The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare – 3/5

Honestly took me a bit by surprise that I enjoyed watching this considering how long I've been putting off watching it, but honestly I was all the way here for watching an unhinged Cavill character. Would definitely watch again

Fast X – 4/5

In that same vein of unhinged characters, I've added this movie to my list of 'comfort watches' purely for unhinged Momoa. Kinda funny how these two movies have the common denominator of Alan Ritchson and yet he wasn't the reason for either of these watches. Loved him in Ungentlemanly Warfare, hated him here. Like I would gladly break my hand punching Aimes' smug face in levels of hate 🥴

Deadpool & Wolverine – 4/5

Minus one star for creating a story that's got TVA as a central setting and having the gall and wherewithal to not include Loki. But overall a damn good time for anyone that's been a fan since pre-MCU Marvel. It felt so good seeing [redacted] and [redacted] again, and it's about damn time that we finally got to see [redacted] as [redacted]. Ohh and one more thing: They totally fucked in that Honda Odyssey. Argue with the wall.

books

𝐃𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐃𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐥𝐲 𝐛𝐲 𝐀𝐝𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐅𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭 – 4.5/5 (review here)

A mafia arranged marriage story where MMC Calix gets exiled from the six families and he comes in guns blazing to crash the re-arranged wedding so that he can claim the bride that was meant to be his all along. Enjoyed reading this story and seeing just how much of a simp that Calix was for FMC Thalia, and only because this was already marketed as a dark romance am I alright with the depictions of some of the way she was ✨devoted✨ to his wife. Had this been a contemporary romance with nothing to have indicated we were in dark romance territory, I would've been screaming for her to run for the hills, change her name, and make sure he can never find her again. But also reading through this and seeing Thalia steadily come into her own power was just so satisfying, and knowing that the likelihood of the sequel ever getting released is slim to none just makes me a little sadder on the inside because I really would have loved to go back to this couple and see where their story takes them. Maybe if I pspspspspspsps hard enough the sequel will happen

𝐀𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐲𝐬𝐭 𝐑𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐛𝐲 𝐀𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐠𝐞 – 2.75/5 (review here)

Honestly nothing more to say except it could have (and should have) been longer. That ending was so rushed I still get whiplash thinking about it.

games

Delicious: True Love

Stage 5, Day 8: Emily's finally told Francois about what happened in Paris and now he's going to be the messenger for every friend they have that's been curious about her tour around the world to reunite with that piece of work Jean-Paul. Patrick stops by to tell Emily that Angela's husband Jimmy (another piece of work, but we'll get there soon enough) put in a preferences request for the flower deliveries from Patrick's shop, and a mystery woman calls him off to a family dinner, which puts a new damper on Emily's mood.

After the restaurant closes, Emily receives a care package from Amelie, containing a little souvenir of the Eiffel Tower, and Jean-Paul's letter, which sends her into another crying spell. Patrick walks in as this is happening, trying to pep talk himself into telling her how he feels, but he backs off and just leaves a rose by her hand, wishing her a good life. Must. Resist. Urge to bonk heads together.

Stage 5, Day 9: Emily's having a crisis over realizing that she has feelings for Patrick, and Francois reveals that the mystery woman from the day before is Katie…Katie O'Mally. Patrick's sister. Evelyn is once again as nosy as ever (we'll also get to her later). Angela stops by and basically goes the telling not showing route that Patrick was practically made for Emily and also has had it bad for her since always. She then completely gifts the puppy that's been staying at the restaurant to Emily, saying something about Jimmy being allergic (pressing X so hard to doubt), and now we have Rosie the pup.

Stage 5, Day 10: Emily's gone down the "I'm so stupid I blame myself" route with every question she shouts into the void being answered by one of Rosie's arfs, and decides to stop by Patrick's place so she could confess at the end of the day. Francois reveals that the day before was Patrick's last day in Snuggford and he's left for New York, making Emily so frustrated with herself for waiting for so long and ripping the letter that started it all to shreds.

Then Patrick shows up and confesses, and we get a cutscene of a scrapbook of their memories together where they're being all cute and in love, ending with a photo of Patrick proposing. After that, we have a post-credit scene that would make Deadpool proud with its fourth wall break, consisting of Patrick and Emily in her apartment, eating the chocolates he brought to her.

And that's it for the story of Delicious: True Love, now it's on to Delicious Wedding…but first we have a bonus stage to get through and hoo boi…

Stage 6: Francois' Place: This bonus stage covers the entirety of Emily's time away from the restaurant, where we play as Francois and get a glimpse of exactly how insufferable some characters are. Evelyn leaves a metric ton of messages for Emily which is why her suitcase is filled to the brim with them when she gets to Paris, even making Francois place in calls the day she made a deal with Emily's father Edward that she won't leave a thousand and one messages for their daughter, so she could seem like she held up her end of the deal.

And she goes into overdrive when the news about the volcano eruption breaks because, and I quote, "Emily might need her advice". On what, Evelyn? How to survive a volcanic eruption and ash fall? The fuck would you know about that? Chances are she'd just ask her point blank if there are any cute rescuers around, be so fucking for real right now.

Then we get to Jimmy and goddammit I want to smack a 2d fictional character around until my hand gets digital paper cuts 😤 One of the stage's side missions involved giving him and Angela every single order they ask for, and he has the whole grain audacity to go "Eh, I've had better" after claiming the 'friends & family discount' that is not, should not, and must never be a thing. Then he tries to get into a fight with Francois because "the pancake he ordered never arrived" and…bitch we gave you at least 10. Francois' cat Snuggy then proceeds to attack Jimmy but ends up falling into an open manhole and finds himself meowing and yowling under the floor of the restaurant.

Jimmy then gets a genius idea to, and I shit you not, tear up the floor in the middle of the restaurant to attempt saving the cat. And just as he does, surprise surprise, the cat finds his way out the manhole the same way he got in. And then Emily comes home less than an hour after the floor was destroyed, and the events of Stage 5 commence.

If OG story Evelyn has zero haters, I am dead. And it's about to be the same for Jimmy, but for that we're gonna have to go to Angela's story, which is right about…now-ish.

Fabulous: Angela's Sweet Revenge

This is an extremely short game that only has 4 days, which I honestly think is one of GHOS' mistakes, because come on guys…if you want your consumer base to pay for a game, it doesn't matter if it costs less than the others, paying for four stages looks and quacks like a cash grab. It's like they really said "Let's make a prologue game" and really made it a fraction of a fraction of their usual full-length games.

Day 1: The story starts with Angela sobbing on the phone, with Emily on the other end, begging her sister not to tell their mother about what happened yet. Angela's friends then visit her in her apartment and she starts to tell the story of how she injured her foot while working for her boss Yum-Mee (I'm not kidding, this is the woman's name…findings pending on whether that's her government name). And this is how we get into the game proper, good ol' flashback style.

The flashback starts with Angela making a new dress for the boutique that Yum-Mee quickly messes up by shortening the skirt to show more leg, which Jimmy completely supports because "he likes seeing legs on a woman" (Hey Jimmy news flash…the legs are still there if a woman's wearing a long skirt, you goddamn shifty eyed horndog). And then when a customer asks "where Angela's beautiful long dress went", Yum-Mee turns the tables and goes "See? I told you you shouldn't have cut it". When I tell y'all I wanna cut a 2d fictional cartoon bitch--

Jimmy then hypes up some surprise for Angela and she thinks it's a vacation because it's their wedding anniversary…turns out it's a new sun roof for his car. More than that, Jimmy is extra protective over his phone (gee I wonder why), and then he offers Yum-Mee a ride home under the guise of "Maybe I can talk to her about giving you a raise". And a cop drives by telling Angela to "remind the couple that drove off next time they park on the sidewalk, he'll have to arrest them".

Sing it with me now, y'all…I think I've seen this film before and I didn't like the ending.

Day 2: One of Angela's customers Sally recalls how she discovered her ex husband was cheating on her doing something named "The Coffee Trick". Spill coffee on pants, have husband give you pants to clean, swipe phone from pants before cleaning, give back clean pants without phone. And this kicks off our side mission for this day when Angela does exactly this, checking on the messages that come in whenever they ring, and wouldn't you know it, it's from Angela's boss, Yum-Mee. And Jimmy also mentioned that he's supposed to meet Yum-Mee at the boutique to drive her home again.

Meanwhile the devil and angel on Angela's shoulders are fighting because the devil's jumping to all the right conclusions based on what the evidence is showing, including a message from Yum-Mee thanking Jimmy for "taking her all the way home" the night before, and the angel is…for lack of a better word…a nitwit optimist. Wants to see the best in people even when they're walking talking filth.

If Jimmy has zero haters, I am dead. If Yum-Mee has zero haters, I am dead. And if the angel on Angela's shoulder keeps on going "Maybe it's not what it seems", I'm about to have beef with a 2d fictional imaginary cartoon angel.

Day 3: Yum-Mee springs a whole list of tasks for Angela to finish the next day because there's a VIP Event that she failed to mention until the absolute last minute (probably because she's getting cheater husband pipe), and Angela tells Sally that Jimmy didn't come home the night before because "he was at poker".

At the end of the shift, Angela proves to girlboss harder than her boss could ever dream of girlbossing and finishing the list of tasks she put off until the last day, and Jimmy stops by to tell her that he's not coming home tonight, either, because he "has to finish the poker game". Angela then baits Yum-Mee by texting her from Jimmy's phone and she finally gets the confirmation that he's been cheating, the lil bitch knowing about the "poker" excuse and even calling him "pokerface". And now Angela's punched the angel on her shoulder in their imaginary face, and she's ready for revenge.

Day 4: It's the day of the VIP Event and Angela's got a whole plan to exact her revenge on both her bitch of a boss and her womanizing husband. First she cancels Yum-Mee's stylist for the event and 'steps up' at the last second to help her boss get ready, giving her a 'new moisturizer' that ends up making her itch to Hell and back because it speeds up hair growth. Along with a hair product that not only makes her itch, but also makes her lose clumps of her hair. Then Angela spreads bird seeds all over Jimmy's car to attract birds that'll be coloring his ride white.

Yum-Mee also makes it a whole struggle for us to get through the day because she takes up one of the fitting rooms for the entire day for her side mission.

When the guests arrive, Angela cuts up the curtain that Yum-Mee used to cover herself since she's such an advocate for showing off your legs. Jimmy then goes into a panic because the birds have ruined his car, and Angela reveals that she has his phone, calls him, "Pokerface", and he attempts to salvage whatever he could, getting him smacked by both women.

Angela then kicks him, which explains how she got the injured ankle, and the police officer from Day 1 writes him a ticket for parking on the sidewalk the way that overcompensating car bros with tiny ass pipis do. Angela, newly single, gets a ride on the back of the officer's bike.

We cut back to her friends in her apartment, and Angela reveals what might be the worst part in all this, as if things weren't bad enough already. She might be pregnant. That's where the story ends for this game, so I guess what's next is to head over to Fabulous Fashion Fever to see what's next for Angela.

Heart's Medicine: Season 1

I've started the Heart's Medicine series, which is a hospital themed time-management game following the journey of Dr Allison Heart. 60 levels with bonus stages and so much to collect and equipment to upgrade along the way.

Opening Cutscene: Dr John Summers tries to save a man's life in a road accident that Allison Heart comes across and she helps him out despite having zero experience in the medical field, relying purely on his guidance and vibes. They end up saving the man's life and this inspires her to become a doctor.

Level 1: Fast forward 6 years after the opening cutscene, Allison is now starting her residency at Little Creek Hospital. John gives her a quick rundown of the specialties she'll be doing a rotation on throughout the game, and then goes to his specialty, Diagnosis.

Level 2: Nothing much happens here story-wise. John just reassures Allison that she'll be staying a good long while at Little Creek if she wants to.

Level 3: Allison reports for her shift and brings in a batch of cookies to give to her coworkers. Here we get a glimpse of Dr McCoy, a pediatrician that seems to have quite the temper on him, picking a fight with John over a delayed delivery of vaccines. In his outburst, he knocks over the plate of cookies, scattering them all over the clinic, and giving us our side mission for this level.

Level 4: As far as plot goes, not much happened in this level. Allison reveals that she had to throw out the entire batch of cookies from the day before because of course she had to…they all ended up on the floor. And then Dr Grumpy -- I mean Dr McCoy -- goes into John's clinic and asks if there are any cookies left over from yesterday, having the macho male audacity to be testy when they look at him funny. Why're you looking for more cookies, McCoy? So you can knock 'em over all around the hospital this time?

Level 5: A severely injured man who tells us to call him "Dex" (pressing X to doubt tho that that's actually his name) walks into the clinic looking all kinds of run down, and John tells him that he's got a nasty staph infection and he should have come to the clinic a long time ago. This kicks off our side mission for this level, which is to tend to Dex's various wounds. At the end of the day John informs him that he needs to be admitted for further observation to which he vehemently refuses and walks (well, wobbles) away, insisting that he's just gonna pay his bill and take his chances. Something tells me he'll be back real soon…

Level 6: This day's rather uneventful as well. John's a bit late to the shift because he lost track of time while giving his son some advice, and he runs off as soon as shift's over so that he could go back to…giving his son advice…? Yeah no something tells me that's code for something else…

Level 7: A woman slightly younger than John named Robin walks into the clinic and they argue over a patient file that Daniel wants consultation for, and John seems to regress into childish ways literally pulling at the patient file to the point that the papers fly all over the clinic, making Robin just walk away. Putting the patient file back together is our side mission for this level, and once we do that, we're formally introduced to Dr. Robin Fisher, John's ex-wife and the head of surgery.

Level 8: Dex wobbles in to the clinic (told you he'll be back), and starts convulsing and showing that he's even worse than he was the last time he showed up. We have another side mission for this level and have to tend to his wounds, and once we're all done he once again insists that he doesn't need to stay for observation and wobbles out the clinic, giving both Allison and John the guarantee that they're never going to see him again and this is the last time that they need to "fix him". Something tells me he's gonna show up one last time…

Level 9: Plot-wise, this is uneventful again. Day starts off with Allison expressing that she's worried for Dex, and the day ends with her still visibly worried but she dashes off straight after the shift is over.

Delicious Wedding

Jumping right into the next chapter of Emily & Patrick's story, the game's opening cutscene is of the titular wedding, but Emily walks down the aisle with nary a Patrick in sight. And then a text screen of "Two months earlier…" HUH?! PATRICK WHAT THE HELL--

hoo deep breaths Ally trust the process trust the process…

Episode 1, Day 1: Patrick announces that his mother Brigid is visiting from Ireland and she's landing the next day, which has Emily's parents so excited and immediately shopping for a welcoming gift. Emily asks Patrick if he could tell his mom about the engagement in private because she tends to be…much. Patrick reassures his future wife that his mother will love her and be happy for them…eventually.

At the end of the shift, Emily goes dress shopping and we get to choose one of three dresses for her before telling the salesperson that she'll be back the next day with her mom to try the dress on. And then right after she leaves, Angela walks in to buy a dress for her first wedding anniversary (the game takes place before 'Fabulous: Sweet Revenge' but still…little bit much, Angela ooft). And she ends up choosing the same dress.

Episode 1, Day 2: Francois helps Emily tidy up the restaurant in preparation for Brigid's arrival while she sets up a welcome message at the door (which is our side mission for this level). When Brigid arrives, she immediately starts criticizing Emily, the restaurant, the welcome message, and intentionally 'forgets' her name, saying "Well I can't possibly remember since my baby boy has so many admirers back home".

I hate her already. Everything about her screams "bitter divorcee", and she reacts to the news of the engagement in typical boy mom fashion…"This is terrible news". And then cue our favorite bimbo (affectionate) Angela walking in with a "What did I miss?" moment.

Can we please have a supportive and non-overbearing non-helicopter mom in this story? I wanna actually cheer for a mom while playing thru this game ffs--

Episode 2, Day 1: The day starts with Brigid arguing that a June wedding will be a terrible omen on Emily and Patrick, which makes Emily start to consider a May wedding (even when Patrick reminds her that they were dead set on June literally yesterday). Then a spider showed up and freaked Brigid out even more that this wedding is "cursed" (are you sure you're not putting on an act to pretend like Emily's the "wrong" person for your son because you want him to marry someone you can control?) and she runs out of the loft apartment. Emily then receives a call that the wedding shop is closed for the day due to a moth infestation, making her concede that she'll have to try on her dream wedding dress the next day instead.

The day ends with Emily seeking advice from her sister on how she planned her wedding to future (and probably current, let's be real) sleazebag Jimmy and how to deal with mothers-in-law, basically implying that she was able to finesse her way into getting exactly what she wanted by getting her MIL to relent because Jimmy would bring up Angela's idea but passing off the idea as his own. Angela sweetie, the red flags were already in front of you.

Episode 2, Day 2: Snuggy falls into a manhole (again) and comes out covered in soot, making him look like a black cat when Brigid arrives at the restaurant. She declares him another omen and shouts that Emily's restaurant is cursed. Our side mission for this level is to clean and tend to Snuggy until he's all clean again.

After the shift ends we get Emily thinking about her dream wedding dress again, and Francois offering to help Emily plan out the wedding adjustments all in the name of tending to Brigid's superstitions. So now we officially have a Maid of Honor 🎉🎉

Episode 3, Day 1: The day starts with Patrick and Brigid picking out a tux for the wedding, and Brigid once again making the double-meaning statement of "perhaps you'll find what suits you best back in Ireland". And even going so far as to name drop one of his exes and going "Why'd you guys break up again?" I'm telling y'all I hate this bitch--

At the end of the shift, Patrick tells his mother that the reception will be held in the restaurant, and she starts grasping at straws again going "evil spirit" this and that. Cue Snuggy walking in with a crow and the bird pecking away at Brigid's head (well deserved), leading her to declare that she's never stepping foot in Snuggford ever again. I tell you, I have so much beef with a bunch of pixels it's not even funny. Like if anyone ever asks me why I don't want to get married I'm just gonna pull up a supercut of Brigid's "finest" moments and tell them I don't want something like that to be my MIL, alright??

Episode 3, Day 2: The day starts off showing that all of Brigid's antics have really gotten to Emily and now even she's starting to believe that their wedding is cursed. Patrick's consistently being a living breathing green flag and comforting his fiance and reassuring her that they're fine and the wedding's gonna be fine. They step outside and find that the pigeons have done their usual ✨window graffiti✨ which kicks off the side mission for this episode…cleaning the windows of bird caca. And also we unlock Francois' butterfly outfit and the Chapter's "entertainer" role.

When the day ends, we get another one of Brigid's "fine" moments where she literally goes "you missed a spot" after seeing a tired Emily wiping away at the windows. Patrick's water bucket falls and dumps water all over her head leading to Brigid going "another omen ohh no!" and once again grating at another one of my nerves. Emily brings Evelyn to the bridal shop to show the dress only to find out that it's been bought (dammit Angela) and she finally breaks down crying and going "Brigid is right the wedding's doomed".

istg Brigid when I catch u Brigid--

Episode 4, Day 1: The day starts off with Francois scratching away at lottery tickets "as a joke" since there's been a whole bunch of bad luck and he figures they're due some good luck around the corner. Turns out bro it wasn't that much of a joke because he won 5k. Whatever kind of luck he's got, I want some. I need some. I have incoming debts okay--

After the shift ends, Emily breaks down crying again (once more I am ready to throw hands at a bitch named Brigid), and Francois literally picks up his bestie to tuck her in and go "okay baby go sleepy time now". Meanwhile Evelyn is also ready to throw hands at a bitch named Brigid. Go Evelyn! Put that toxic ass boy mom in her place! 👏👏

Episode 4, Day 2: The day starts off with Brigid explaining why she believes the wedding (and Emily & Patrick's relationship in general) is cursed and it's because of the legend of Lady Mary. And in this explanation she basically calls Emily a commoner (honestly bitch, square the fuck up, where do you get off--). Evelyn mentions that the legend states if a couple throws a penny down some well then the "curse" will be lifted, and of course the bitchy boy mom doesn't accept that (but accepts literally every other part of the story, make it make sense). And this leads Emily to declare that she'll follow her mom's footsteps and toss a coin in herself. Brigid tries and tries to discourage her, but Evelyn's coming in clutch with everything Emily would need to pull it off, making the boy mom just go "harumph" and fuck off to who even knows.

Side mission for this episode is to sort through the boxes so that Emily can find that special coin, and the day ends with her getting said penny with Ireland as the next stop. Brigid tries adding more conditions for this superstitious ritual and seems visibly pleased at the end when Evelyn realizes that there's no way for Emily to get to Ireland, drop the coin, and get back in time for the wedding. I am a broken record at this point. I. Hate. Brigid. Put it on a t-shirt.

Undercover: Blood Bonds

Chapter 12: Vera confronts Sam at Smokin' Wheels and they get into it before he storms off, Hank side eyeing her and advising her that next time he'll talk to the suspects. He's got a way with people. At the end of the shift, Vera comes back to her apartment and Bluejay made dinner and cleaned, talking about how she couldn't get the 'big red stain' out. Vera tells her that it's her sister's blood, then suddenly she's lost her appetite 🥺

Chapter 13: Vera spots a suspicious looking character at Smokin' Wheels which kicks off the side mission of getting this mystery dude's orders in a timely manner so she gets to know more about him since he's a regular. Hank also reveals that Jericho's been sniffing around Bluejay since she seems to be his type. At the end of the shift, we get a flashback of Lilly and Sam where he knocks over a lamp after she storms off insisting that she doesn't want to get back together with him.

Chapter 14: Gabe reveals that there were no foreign fingerprints found, implying that there was no foul play and that Lilly likely knew her assailant and never saw the attack coming. Gabe implies that he's suspecting Lilly's ex Sam more and more. Side mission for this level is to make sure that Sam doesn't leave the bar until Gabe gets there, and he maintains his mega sus behavior when he goes "you snitched on me!" go Vera. Like bro…snitched on you about what? The "nice guy" mask is really slipping there

Chapter 15: A breakthrough comes in the form of a heavily hungover Bluejay who shares that despite not having drank too much the night before when she went and "hung out" with Jericho at a new club, she doesn't feel 100%…and from the looks of it she barely even felt 50%. She mentions that she heard some people talking about Lilly and pointed Vera in the direction of Club Inferno, unlocking a new location in the game. Side mission for this level is to tend to Bluejay's hangover by serving her some fries. And at the end of the shift, we complete the flashback from two levels ago revealing that while Sam might be the "nice guy" stereotype, he really is just a sap because the end of his "threat" was "none of them love you like I do". Sorry bro, your flag still looks pretty fucking red to me, I mean you still knocked over her lamp for what?

Chapter 16: The level opens up with a flashback of Vera giving Lilly some shit about how she's been dressing and Lilly calling her sister a "shrew" because…you know what? I'm getting older, I'm gonna chalk this off to whatever remnants of teenage angst Lilly still had in her. I have to admit, though, her outfit actually kinda hits and I'd have worn it in my college years if I had the body for it, but that's neither here nor there. Vera dresses in a similar way to Lilly in that flashback and applies for the job opening in Inferno. Jericho (like clockwork) immediately puts the moves on her and showers her with compliments after her first shift.

Chapter 17: Level opens up with Ash (Inferno's manager) giving Vera a rundown on how their clientele has "refined tastes" and how highly they value their privacy, along with giving her a drink that looks like he did some blood magic on it like it was literally glowing before he handed it to her. The shift ends with Jericho asking Ash if he's already "bewitched" Vera, confirming that yes…he definitely did some magical juju to that drink earlier. Vera comes home to find Hank making some soup for Bluejay since she passed out at the club earlier that day, and him asking her what the deal with the wig is.

Chapter 18: Level starts with Jericho flipping his lid over the delivery boy being a few hours late and using some glowy red eyes voodoo on him to spook the poor dude, ohh and also threatening to "rip his spine out bone by bone" if it happens again. And naturally our side mission for the level…receiving deliveries. At shift end, Jericho asks Ash if he's been "fulfilling his duties" because Vera doesn't seem all that bewitched, and tells the manager to "do it again". Ends with Ash giving Vera another sus looking drink that's looking more and more like blood the more I squint my eyes

Chapter 19: We get a flashback of Ash giving Lilly the same blood looking drink from when she worked at Inferno to give us a bit of a parallel on how he's making Vera drink it now. After shift end, Hank warns Vera about how this could end badly if she keeps investigating since she wants to see what's in those delivery boxes that Jericho was so antsy over

Chapter 20: Side mission consists of rifling through various drawers while juggling customer orders to find something Vera could use as a lock pick, and the chapter ends with her getting into the backroom and finding a fridge full of blood bags before Ash finding her and going "You shouldn't be in here". Omg I knew it--

Chapter 21: Vera manages to lie her way out of being caught by Ash, making an excuse about needing to find ice, but he shares his suspicions with Jericho and mentions that there was someone before who was immune to bewitchments…could that be Lilly? This is also the level we get a new game mechanic in the form of the chalices, which are a finite resource we have to refill by going to the backroom every time they start running low.

Yes…yes the regulars are downing blood

Chapter 22: Flashback to when Lilly told Vera about her job and Vera was…less than enthusiastic about her little sister working at a nightclub and does the predictable "adult mistake" of going "you should get a rEaL jOb" which leads to some choice name calling and a sister smack (the sincerest fuck you to James Charles for singlehandedly ruining the word "sister" for me, but this is the only way I could put it). At shift end, Vera's back in her apartment and starts pushing Bluejay away when she starts offering help. Honestly I think Vera's got a nasty habit of self-sabotage…which honestly? same 🫠

Delicious World

Season 2, Episode 3, Part 9: This is a Frank & Monet centric cutscene where Frank accidentally knocks over his bb's latest creation and tries to salvage it, leading to Monet having more of a crisis over what he's been creating because even after dropping the dish onto the ground and no doubt tasting like the ground, Leroy still gave him top marks for his "interpretation of the deconstruction of the vineyard experience" or some other highfalutin avant garde nonsense 🙃

Season 2, Episode 3, Part 10: Jean-Paul reassures Emily that they won't get caught and jeopardize her position in the show even with the ever-vigilant Sarah hellbent on finding some way to destroy her. And right as he said that, Leroy comes a-knocking asking if he could come in. Emily hides in the bathroom but turns out that that's exactly what Leroy needed right that second because his stomach started acting up after eating literal dirt off the ground. Jean-Paul tries to dissuade him leading to them going to Monet's trailer, and the last thing we see here is the back windows to both trailers' bathrooms opening up, and Emily's and Frank's heads poking out. 🫢

Season 2, Episode 3, Part 11: Emily and Frank have some chaotic besties moment where they're both going "Why didn't you tell me?" and reveal to each other that they don't actually know what they are in their respective relationships. Frank believes he's just fooling around with Monet because the chef needs a distraction from his identity crisis, and Emily's unsure of what even Jean-Paul's connection to Shuvani is, so she's hesitant to put a label on anything. Frank ends up suggesting she talk to Sarah to get some answers. I don't like it. I don't like it one bit.

Season 2, Episode 3, Part 12: Emily ends up taking Frank's advice and tries talking to Sarah about her sister, seemingly hitting a nerve since she clammed up and bitched out about how "her sister's love life isn't any of her business". And also starts going in on Emily about how if she can find time to focus on other people's love lives, then she's not spending enough time thinking about the competition, and she really should because she's "beyond help". She had me in the first half, she really did--

[allys-diary]

DANGER MEWS OMG 🥹🥹

See now this is why my last words on this Earth will be 'pspspspspspsps here kitty kitty' 🫠🫡

I didn’t know cheetahs meow I’ve always thought they roar my whole life has been a lie

[allys-diary]

shenanigans :: ally week 2024

Hoooo boi howdy ya girl is 30 and let's be so real right now…at so many points in my life I wasn't sure if I was gonna reach this age, but also I had so many expectations of what life would look like for me once I got here and…

Let's just say it's not a perfect match 🙃 But also I honestly wouldn't trade it for anything. Instead of trying to chase a "dream" that was thrust upon me by constantly comparing my life to my parents going "Goddamn when they were my age, I already existed and I was a whole menace", I decided to set out to heal inner wounds that I didn't realize were there until I revisited those areas in my life and there were places that stung when they were touched.

But that's gonna be a story for another vent post, this is just gonna be a place to show y'all everything I've gotten up to on the days leading up to the day itself.

Everything below the cut because pictures ahead

First we kicked the week off with something very on brand that just had impeccable timing: Sanrio-themed Krispy Kreme donuts

tbh the flavor wasn't all that amazing, but it was still fun (and messy lol) to eat them…also no, I didn't finish them all by myself, I split them with my mother (I did claim the Kuromi one tho). And unlike Froot Loops that all just had the same flavor across the board, these ones actually had different flavors with every donut, so that was fun, too.

While of course I would never be so vapid enough to say that this is all happening because it's my birthday week, there was also the amazing little happenstance of one of my favorite bands releasing new music and this was the week I found out that Marianas Trench is coming out with a whole new album.

The rest of the week was honestly pretty uneventful because I spent most of it at home working and ticking off items from my onboarding list, so really at least half of my free time during this week was spent sleeping 🥴 I did go out after my shift towards the end of the week though to grab some food & coffee with my parents but that's about it.

And then once the weekend hit, my whorish ways got the better of me and I decided to 'pspspspspspsps' in cursive over on my main/more active account and suddenly Tom content was conjured into existence (thank you Paris Olympics and BBC)

I finally got my lil mitts on the chili pepper Jellycat plush, along with a lil Squishmallow HugMee

It's the lil yellow donkey. And that's probably the last Squishmallow I'm getting (because space issues) unless I find Ximena the Winking Mango (for obvious reasons)

Overall it was a pretty chill week. No tears, no annoying ghosts from the past trying to kill the vibe (well unless you count a bitch ass teacher from Junior Year, yeah I'm looking at you Jonas), and only the slightest hint of existential crisis.

Now I got a whole lotta things I wanna do before I turn 31 so…lemme just get that todo list all together 🥴

[allys-diary]

Whelp. Willkommen bienvenue welcome…to

Ally's feed belongs in a padded room: Episode 2

Today…goddamn…we got some freaky dang squirrels out here nuttin' on main

I mean at least get a branch, you two. No need to be freaky and be in danger at the same time 🙃😧

[allys-diary]

I'm gonna just go ahead and start on this because why not.

Welcome to the absolutely cracked series I'll be calling:

Ally's feed belongs in a padded room: Episode 1

Where every entry will just be something from either my TikTok or my YouTube feed that just makes me stare at it for a few seconds and make me question how my life got to this point.

Starting off this thread with…

THE THUMBNAIL?! the folks over at Crash Course were wild for this 🤣

[allys-diary]

stories i om-nom-nom'd :: april 2024 (week 2)

I honestly didn't nom through too much because this week was mostly spent on my 'main' blog which is by the site's terms my side blog but let's be real, that's where I'm most active, it's my main blog 😤 Anyways, most of the week was spent reading through my friends' and fellow writers' stories and progressing my Tumblr TBR, writing my own stories, and also downloading and posting all the photos that came out this week from the events that Tom Hiddleston attended (legend has it, I'm still downloading).

As always, spoilers, thots, and thoughts all under the cut

documentaries

The Antisocial Network

I wasn't expecting this to take the turn that it did, documenting the butterfly effect of the creation of 4chan and how it snowballed into January 6, 2021. I ended up liking this a bit more than I expected going in, but I also have a little bit of an opinion…some of these guys really shot themselves in the foot revealing themselves to be a part of Anonymous because now…well they're kinda the opposite 🥴

Quiet on Set: Breaking the Silence

The check in with the people that were interviewed felt like a necessary part of the entire process, but honestly…there was something in the vibe of this episode's execution that felt off to me. It was like the host was putting on a performance like they were filming in front of a studio audience and the tone just felt like it was too chipper if that makes sense? Like you're supposed to be checking in on them and asking them how they've felt since the documentary came out and how their lives have been since, so why are you sounding like you're reading them today's headlines? Like I can't believe I'm even saying this but Trisha Paytas did better--

It just felt a little heavy-handed to me, but I can get behind the concept of having this follow-up episode that addressed the absolute garbage fire of a video that Foot Man put out into the internet trying to do damage control but honestly should've just been titled "Dan Schneider digs his own grave even deeper for 20 minutes straight".

books

games

Delicious: True Love

Stage 5, Day 1: Emily arrives back home to her restaurant/apartment in Snuggford and the poor beb's so heartbroken and hyper-focused on that, that she doesn't even notice there's a big gaping hole in the middle of her restaurant, with a burst pipe making an accidental water fountain. Patrick only sees her going upstairs to unpack and assumes that her trip went well and basically declares to her family and her best friend that now that she's got her love and she's happy, there's no more reason for him to stay.

Dude no, we've officially entered idiots in love stage. 😩

The day ends with Emily sobbing the second her mom goes up and checks in on her. I'm gonna say one more time for good measure, if OG story Jean-Paul has zero haters, I am dead.

Stage 5, Day 2: Emily's parents are worried about her since she hasn't come back down from her apartment, and Francois gives her some tough love telling her to at least show up for work because he won't make excuses for her absence. Nothing much happens on this day, since she goes straight back upstairs when the shift's over, other than her mom Evelyn basically saying she should have meddled in the beginning by never giving her the letter to begin with.

All I'm gonna say is…remake Evelyn is definitely the better Evelyn 🥴

Stage 5, Day 3: Patrick reveals that he's moving to New York since his business is growing and the new shop's gonna need his attention. Then Angela, Emily's little sister, shows up with puppies and asks her all about Paris, which causes Evelyn to shout at Angela rather than just calmly tell her that it's a sensitive topic (Clear to see where Evelyn's playing favorites). Angela leaves the restaurant but instructs one of the puppies to stay behind with Emily, which kicks off our side quest for this level where we call back the pup when he strays from Emily's side.

The day ends with Emily keeping the pup with her for a day or two, and talking to her mom about what happened in Paris.

Stage 5, Day 4: The big hole in the middle of the restaurant's all fixed, and it's bringing in more foot traffic to the restaurant. Emily makes a note to call to have the floors polished, mentioning she likes the floral scent, and Francois tells her that Patrick's moving to New York. He also accidentally kickstarts the dreaded miscommunication trope because he said "something about someone needing his attention there".

Gotta love them himbo besties 🥴

Stage 5, Day 5: Emily gets to see more of Patrick's green flag status when he tends to a kid that hurt herself when she tripped, taking the kid's mind off the pain and giving her a little flower and doing a magic trick. Then he confirms with Emily that yes, he's moving to New York because "it's time to move on", and I wanna bonk some heads together all over again. Francois tells her that she and Patrick have been flirting for so long that it's like "watching the same car crash on repeat" and he tells his therapist about it sometimes, and then accidentally breaks the vase that Patrick put a rose he set aside for Emily in, scattering marbles all over the floor and giving us our side mission for this level.

The day ends with Emily turning down an offer for a girls night out, and holding on to the rose from earlier.

Stage 5, Day 6: We officially unlock this stage's Entertainer, which is Francois with Emily's new puppy from Angela. Not much happens other than at the end of the day, the previous owner of the restaurant Mr Farrell visits the place to reminisce, and he talks about his "one that got away" because he was a teenage boy that fapped over Marilyn Monroe (my words, not his). Then one day when he finally came to his senses, the girl already stopped showing up at the restaurant.

Stage 5, Day 7: Emily's heart's finally starting to heal and she wakes up realizing that her apartment's a total mess ever since she got home and started her one-woman misery party. She still has the rose from Patrick at the center of her living area, and she reads a card that basically boils down to "Emily babes wake up your true love's been right in front of you literally giving you flowers every day". Unfortunately, that last scene from the previous day feels like heavy-handed foreshadowing because Patrick says goodbye to Emily after giving her one last delivery of fresh flowers for the restaurant.

The day ends with Mr Farrell bidding Emily and his old restaurant goodbye since he's moving to Florida to stay with friends, and a regular customer Gladys walks in looking for her purse, and wouldn't you know, it's Mr Farrell's TOTGA, and she moved back to Snuggford after her husband passed away so she could be closer to family. This makes Mr Farrell decide that he doesn't wanna move to Florida anymore.

Undercover: Blood Bonds

Chapter 10: Vera clocks in for the morning shift and finds Bluejay in Club with her pajamas on, finding out that she doesn't have a place to stay so she's been sleeping in the backroom. Vera offers her to move in so she doesn't catch a case for breaking in. At the end of the shift, Jericho reveals he has mind control powers and he used them to make Crystal exit the room before he ordered Mr Smirnov to get rid of Vera because she's asking too many questions.

Chapter 11: Vera meets up with Hank at a pub called Smokin' Wheels, and he tells her that Mr Smirnov's on a mission to get her sacked. Lilly's ex boyfriend Sam shows up and Vera spends that shift trying not to get noticed by Sam. At the end of the shift, we get a flashback of Sam being overprotective but concerned about Lilly coming home late and he pulls the "you're mine" card, while Lilly walks away going "You don't know anything".

Pretty sure the cops are wrong that Sam's the culprit and it's actually Mr Mind Control with the glowy red eyes Jericho that they should be looking up.

stories to om-nom-nom next

The Tortured Poets Department

I'm already sharpening a pitchfork with Joe Alwyn's name on it.

Hello Kitty Island Adventure: Imagination Celebration Event

I have no idea what this side story's gonna be, but all I know is that they made my precious bb Kuromi the villain of the event, and ngl I'm fuming. My sweet mischievous baby deserves better 😤

That's all for this week. See y'all next week unless I fall into a rabbit hole of planning out new stories for the WIP pile because I up and decided to Phase 1 plan for a "The Tortured Poets Department Collection" 🥴🫡

[allys-diary]

stories i om-nom-nom'd :: april 2024 (week 1)

Considering that this is my first week of full on unemployment since 2016, this is also probably the first time I've purely had time just to myself. So you bet ur souls I nom'd a whole lot of media this week.

As usual, expect spoilers, you've been warned. Everything below the cut:

movies

Mulan (1998)

This was a rewatch and I honestly just had it on because I wanted something in the background while I was cleaning, but also I was having such a blast singing and dancing along to the soundtrack. And also I just wanna take this moment to say that Yao, Ling, and Chien Po were the realest ones in this movie because they were so unfazed by the reveal that their new friend Ping was actually a woman and all they cared about was trying to stop Shang because they thought he was gonna execute her. And then when she popped up at the palace going "Hey guys! I have an idea" they just dropped everything and didn't even hesitate to put on a dress and makeup.

Like I need friends like that, their loyalty is unmatched 👏👏👏

Also the Emperor becoming Mulan's wingman at the end was something I forgot and I cackled so loud watching that scene over 😂

Hocus Pocus 2 (2022)

I'll be so real and tell y'all that I put off watching this movie for the longest time because I've seen so much hype around it, and when I see smth like that I have one of two possible responses. I either immediately jump on it the second it releases…or I procrastinate. But watching this was honestly so much fun and even though I didn't watch the first movie, I could still feel Winnie's devastation when she watched her sisters fall victim into a yassified Thanos snap. Although honestly I do feel like this was just natural consequence doing its thing, like Book really tried to warn her so many times, so really this is just "Fuck around and find out (Winnifred's Version)".

I will say though, that something I felt was lacking was the building of the characters of the new witches. It feels like the movie was made with the hopes that people would go in this with so much nostalgia for the first movie and that would be enough to carry the entire project without having to do much on actually telling us who these new witches are, and why we should root for them. The dynamic between the three girls felt very much like it was telling rather than showing that Becca would be the leader but she's going to put in the work to make them all have equal footing, while in contrast, the Sanderson sisters had a dynamic that drew you in and showed you from even the first scene that Sarah and Mary were treated by Winnie as subordinates rather than sisters.

There was just enough hints at the end that there's a movement for a third Hocus Pocus movie to be greenlit because there's still one more black flame candle, and that was more than enough for me to blurt out the words "Gilbert, you lil bitch".

On a lighter note tho…the flying roombas and the performance number were a few of the highlights of the movie that kinda make me wanna watch it again…Ohh and Hannah Waddingham as Witch Mother 100% had me going "this better not awaken anything in me"

nvm…too late

tv shows

Law and Order: Special Victims Unit

I can't watch the shows in order because my streaming services really said "fuck your binging rights", so I have 0 context on overarching series arcs, but I watch what I can.

Season 21, Episode 1: They created a whole ass MeToo episode and it was so well-written I actually had to take a second to remind myself that this was acting and to hold off on hating Ian McShane because he portrayed his whole "sleazy media mogul with a whole ass casting couch" persona eerily well. One of the things I'm steadily coming to appreciate with the series is that they're not shying away from touching on current issues, and I personally cannot wait for the incoming seasons and they start taking jabs at Sickelodeon--I mean Nickelodeon.

Also Hadid deserves jail time she needs to be taken down ALL the pegs. If Hadid has 0 haters, I am dead.

Season 21, Episode 2: Speaking of not shying away from sensitive issues, this was a doozy and a half because it was really subliminally heavy on the victim blaming. Reagan's "friends" for one are some insane pieces of work just damn near scoffing when they were told "your friend might have been assaulted" and going "yeah probably not she has a whole bunch of crazy antics". And that utterly disheartening moment when the team realizes that if this actually does go to trial, that she might not win because the defense could spin a story about "her wanting it" because of her history and her sexcapades with a bunch of other guys.

In the name of fully supporting women's wrongs, I fully support Reagan going full "I Spit on Your Grave" on these bastards 😤 That and I'd fully be on board with a movie where Ariel Winter goes the vigilante & revenge route.

Sidenote: This is why I hate that I can't stream all the seasons because I have no idea what happened to Olivia in the previous season that was called back to in the final scene with Reagan where she said she knows that Reagan will survive because she survived.

Season 10, Episode 22: Okay so I knew from the jump when Stuckey was introduced that either he wouldn't be around for long because he was gonna screw something up which would result in him getting fired (or at the very least transferred to another department far away from interacting with people), or he'd get an improvement arc where he suddenly became an invaluable asset to the team. What I didn't think was gonna happen was that he was going to go on a murder spree in an attempt to manipulate events so he could overcorrect on a mistake that he made from being way too lax and honestly kind of arrogant.

I just know that Benson went like this the second they had him in custody:

games

Undercover: Blood Bonds

Chapter 3: We get introduced to Vera's former coworker (and possibly ex) Gabe, revealing that before she became a journalist, she was a detective, and he's not too happy about her career shift. In the chapter outro, we get a flashback of Lilly looking like she's going through it and has been keeping a diary to write her feelings down. This flashback might be of the night that Lilly disappeared, maybe the last time Vera saw her sister alive.

Chapter 4: Jericho's a mysterious new figure that makes his entrance by walking into Club (no really, the club's name is "Club") without being carded by Hank, the bouncer. Also he has red eyes. Vera managed to swipe Lilly's journal from the crime scene and she finds out that the last time her sister wrote in there was the night that Vera left the city to go back home.

Chapter 5: Vera's in a competition with Crystal over who gets to keep the job at Club because only one of them can stay after the week's over, and knowing she doesn't have a shot, Crystal sabotages Vera by "accidentally" dropping her lipstick on the floor so that Vera slips and falls and breaks a tray full of glasses. Hank mentions that the previous barmaid Daisy would've been useful to know what happened to Lilly, and the very end shows a flashback that Jericho met Lilly the last time she went to Club and bought her a drink.

Chapter 6: Jericho buys a drink for the new DJ, Bluejay, but doesn't score with her because she has a gig and she's determined to stick to schedule (which is finish her shift at 4am). Hank tells Vera that Daisy was head over heels for Jericho when she used to work at Club, and a flashback reveals Daisy trying to discourage him from chatting up Lilly because she's "just a kid". He's unfazed by that (red flag alert red flag alert woop woop das da sound of da police)

Chapter 7: Vera turns down Jericho's sleazy attempts to buy her a drink and invite her back to his place after shift, and he denies ever having seen Lilly when he's shown a picture of her, claiming that "she's not his type". Then he immediately rebounds in a record 0.5 seconds with the next girl that shows up (and serving her orders becomes our side quest for this level). Outro showcases Hank's green flag status offering his coworkers to drive them home since it's so late, and ends with him driving Vera to the police station so she can check on the status of the investigation.

Chapter 8: We play as Crystal in this level and let me tell you now, I hate it here. She goads on Vera for being "sluggish" and having a bad day and sucks up big time to the boss Mr Smirnov with "grand plans" to improve clientele, which of course gets him going and has him leaning towards granting her the permanent staff position. Then Gabe calls Vera with disappointing news and tells her he'll just give her the apartment keys after work.

Chapter 9: Gabe goes to Club to hand over Vera's apartment keys, which gives us our side quest for this level where we serve Gabe his orders for the night. When he releases the apartment back to Vera, he reveals that Lilly's ex-boyfriend Sam is the prime suspect. He also lets slip that their chief's trying to prioritize the case of a missing barmaid (most likely Daisy). We also get a flashback of what is probably the night Lilly disappeared, where she comes home to find Sam waiting in the dark, angry over her coming in late.

Delicious: True Love

Stage 3, Day 8: Philippe, a horny mustachio'd guy that made the moves on Emily back in Stage 2 and ends up having to share a passenger cart with her on the train, asks Emily about why she's so attached to Jean-Paul's letter. She tells him that she and JP had a summer thing when they were 16, and she wrote him a letter and thought he'd never replied. Turns out he did and the letter arrived a little late…like 16 years late. She says it's fate, but Philippe drops hints that maybe what fate was really trying to do was to make her cross paths with him along the way. He's really down bad for her and it's getting a bit painful to witness, tbh.

Stage 3, Day 9: Philippe writes a review for Fresco's Diner Express (the train restaurant…ohh also, Philippe's a renowned food critic), which he tears into pieces when Emily tells him "you're sweet but my heart's with someone else" and calls her a silly naive American girl whose head's filled with frilly "plastic" Hollywood love stories. Typical "I'm a nice guy" behavior, part of him still thinking that Emily "owes" him after he voluntarily bought her a ticket so she won't be kicked out the train. He tries to make amends when she goes back and gives him his torn up review that she taped back together, and says he's happy to stay friends.

Now see here I wanna believe that he means that, but I've seen "nice guy" behavior. They're never happy staying friends. They're like not-so-silent red flags 😤😤

Stage 3, Day 10: It's Emily's final day on the train and Fresco's a bit emotional because she's helped him so much (he's precious we must protect him at all costs). Philippe shows up at the end to wish Emily goodbye and good luck, finding her suitcase at the station that's now filled with a whole bunch of notes from her mother (she's another thing I don't even wanna touch on right now), and gives her the details of a restaurant where he believes she'll find Jean-Paul.

I'm now looking at the chapter titles for Stage 4, which takes place at a restaurant called "Chez Jean-Paul", and ngl y'all I'm scared. There's one here that says "A Bitter Blow" and something tells me Emily's not actually ending up with JP at the end of this story. Lemme just…preemptively sharped a pitchfork real quick…

Stage 4, Day 1: Emily's arrived at Jean-Paul's restaurant but he's not around, and she offers her assistance to the sole employee manning the place. Said sole employee then takes off to go to an appointment. 🤦🏻‍♀️ The day ends, still no JP, so she goes off to explore Paris and becomes so enamored with the place seeing all these couples so madly in love. Even the birds have their own love stories going on.

Imma tell y'all right now I have so many fears--

Stage 4, Day 2: Emily sees some flowers that remind her of Patrick (the boy next door who delivers flowers to her restaurant back home in Snuggford) and she has a moment where she's just happily remembering him before she up and decides to get some flowers for Jean-Paul. The day ends with her running into JP and him needing to jog his memory (it's been 16 years, so I can kinda understand), which really only kicks into gear when Emily starts reciting lines from his letter. They share a hug and they seem happy but…that chapter title from earlier is still giving me fears--

Stage 4, Day 3: Emily and Jean-Paul are catching up with each other, and that's really what the whole day revolves around. There was a side quest in this level where you'd have to tap on JP when he shows up because he's having a food fight with Emily while serving customers. He says a bit about her being worth waiting for, and they share a kiss. And here's where I have some critique for the story writers and game developers…

If y'all didn't want us to anticipate the twists, the chapter titles should have been hidden until the player reaches said level. Now I know that Emily's bound for heartbreak at JP's hands which makes it easy not to root for this relationship. Y'all should've pulled out the rug from under our feet without the early warning device. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Stage 4, Day 4: Ohh no. Ohh fuckque no I hate it here. Emily's over the moon and tells her new florist friend Amelie that she's reunited with her first love, and Amelie's equally excited because she thinks her boyfriend's about to propose after she's been dropping hints for the last six months. The chapter ends with Jean-Paul in a hurry and promising to see Emily later, but in his rushing he didn't see that a goddamn ring box fell out his pocket.

To quote Dr Swift herself, "I think I've seen this film before and I didn't like the ending" 😖😖

Stage 4, Day 5: Jean-Paul's clearly in a bit of distress because he can't find something, which opens up our side quest for this level, putting the ring back in his coat pocket. There's also an inscription on the ring about "love being a flower" which makes me even more convinced that this ring isn't for Emily, but rather someone else whose name sounds like "Emily". JP then asks Emily to go away with him and see the countryside, to which she says "Yes" because now she's convinced he's gonna propose to her there.

Stage 4, Day 6: Emily and Amelie make promises to each other to attend each other's weddings, both clearly excited about where their relationships are headed (meanwhile I'm here fully convinced that they're seeing the same man). At the end of the day, Emily asks Jean-Paul if they're going to see each other later that night but he says that he has "a prior engagement", but that he intends to whisk her away to the countryside the next night. So lemme just get this straight…he's gonna propose and get engaged to his long-time girlfriend (most likely Amelie), and he's turning Emily into an unwitting other woman by starting something with her without ever even once thinking that "Ohh oopsies I probably should've told her I have a whole ass relationship and I'm already in the proposal stage".

If OG story Jean-Paul has 0 haters, I am dead 😤

Stage 4, Day 7: The day starts off with Jean-Paul starting to wave his red flag loud and proud by showing annoyance at the sound of a child crying because he got a splinter, which has Emily side-eyeing him while she tended to the kid to get the splinter out. There's no side quest in this level, and the day ends with JP postponing their getaway because a friend of his is in town and "he hasn't seen him in so long and he wants to catch up".

Yeah no…I'm sharpening a pitchfork…

Stage 4, Day 8: Aaaaaand here it is. Big confirmations that this story's Jean-Paul is a piece of work that deserves to have da pipi chopped off. The day starts with Emily not having heard from him, the guy not even bothering to check on his restaurant that he claims he gave his entire life to just to earn his star rating, mind you. And it ends with Emily going to spend some time with Amelie, who reveals that she's engaged. They're planning a double date, when they see JP with another woman and kissing her ("haven't seen him in a long time" my ass). The two women reveal to each other in their shock that they've been seeing the same man, and Amelie's immediately on whack-a-cheater mode, while Emily breaks down in tears.

Stage 4, Day 9: We love Amelie in this household, she's a complete girl's girl, not even spending a single second even remotely annoyed at Emily and immediately goes in to hug her when they see each other again. She just hates that she wasted her time and moved to Paris for trash bag Jean-Paul. She walks off before the level starts, vowing to have her revenge. Then Philippe arrives excited to see Emily again and telling her he's had Chez Jean-Paul on his schedule to review, which kicks off this level's side quest of bringing him his orders. Amelie shows up at the end of the level, dousing the final dish that Emily serves Philippe with a heaping dose of hot sauce (high key hoping it's some Carolina Reaper levels of burn).

Philippe writes a review that will take away the restaurant's star rating, and JP goes rabid telling the two women that they ruined his life and "all because he couldn't help that he loved women", to which Emily pushes him into the fountain and Amelie delivers this absolute banger of a line:

Stage 4, Day 10: There isn't much to this day other than Emily saying goodbye to her new friends, and Amelie reminding her that one day they'll attend each other's weddings. We also have Nadia finally getting the quote right. "Love is the flower that grows in front of you." That sends Emily into another round of tears, and giving us as the viewer the glaring red neon sign that's been there since Stage 1, Day 1.

BAY-BEE. IT'S PATRICK. WAKE UP AND SMELL THE FRESHLY DELIVERED EVERY MORNING TO YOUR RESTAURANT FLOWERS 👏👏

Delicious World

Season 2, Episode 3, Part 7: This bit focuses more on Frank and Monet's side story, where Monet's cooking his boyfriend a simple risotto and Frank's trying to be reassuring that people would still love his recipes even if he pivots and tries to make simpler dishes, because what would matter is the taste. They have a discussion about what the people would think if he changed up his cooking style, and it led to how his reputation would be "ruined" if he comes out and reveals Frank to be his boyfriend, and sweet little pretend-Health Inspector boi says he's fine with staying private.

Sweet babey noooooo…you deserve better than to be hidden away in a corner 😤

Season 2, Episode 3, Part 8: Speaking of keeping relationships hidden…Jean-Paul's doing the exact opposite, constantly risking it all just to kiss his bb on the cheek out in public where anyone can see. And he shoots down the rumor about him and Shuvani. This is where it's giving me so much whiplash to play both this and True Love at the same time because while the original story's JP is a walking talking red flag, this one's steadily looking more and more like a green flag that I'm almost sad for him that he won't end up with Emily in the end. 😩

Gallery Coloring

If you're familiar with those games where you have to decorate your house/garden/cafe after completing enough levels or earning enough stars from completing levels, that's essentially the whole concept of Gallery. Except the levels are color by number that have varying difficulties.

The story I'm at right now is Leo and Mia (our main characters) are trying to get their friends Paul and Vivian, who've been crushing on each other, to make up and try their hand at a first date again, since the first one didn't go through because of Paul's outstanding levels of misfortune. Vivian's pissed and doesn't even want to look at Paul, let alone hear him out, and instead talks out what she wants to tell him by telling Leo what she appreciates about his and Mia's relationship in a way that's not so subtly criticizing and reading Paul for filth.

Meanwhile these four are all working together trying to get the cafe they've been renovating into a presentable enough state before an art critic named DeWitt comes in to meet with Mia and discuss her works.

There's also a Festival Season event that I'm trying to work through, which is just a mini story of Leo teaching his wife the ways of partying in a music festival.

Hello Kitty Island Adventure

A new update released this week, and gave us a few new morsels of lore. We go on a quest that spans 4 days to bring together Hapidanbui for a performance in hopes of reminding the Island Spirit that old long-running friendships are something to be cherished and hopefully heal her heart a little bit more and get her to open up a bit more to the idea of seeing her old friends again.

There was also a shorter quest that involved us bringing back weather into the island and getting it to rain with the restoration of the Aquafaller, so now it can rain throughout the biomes of the island, revealing blue flowers to water that will reward you with raindrops that can be traded for new furnitures and clothing items.

youtube & tiktok channels that got my watch minutes

India Rose Crawford

If y'all haven't seen the knitted frog stop motion animation videos yet, let me put you on because the way she has gotten to make these motions so smooth, it's like she's breathed life into this cute lil knitted frog?? Like, da fuckque??

SWOOP

SWOOP is one of those creators where when I see that she's posted something new, I wanna drop everything and watch through the entire video no matter how long it is. The new video she dropped this week was an hour and a half long, and she talks about Amanda Bynes and the devastating downfall of her career. If my heart wasn't breaking enough for her, it's just shattered now, and I just hope that whatever she's doing, that she's genuinely happy and giving herself the room and the patience to heal at her own pace.

Also, if Dan "The Foot Man" Schneider has zero haters, I am dead. Jail. Electric chair. 😤😤

Alexa Nikolas

While I can't find it in me to recommend a Trisha Paytas video, that's shockingly what's gonna happen right now, because Alexa made an appearance on Trisha's podcast "Just Trish" this week, talking about her experience in the set of Zoey 101, the abusive chapter of her life where she was a victim of child SA by her ex-husband and the cover up made by parties in the music industry that ultimately led her to starting Eat Predators. And while I do have my opinions on Trisha, I do have to give credit where credit is due and give them my respect for giving Alexa the time and space to share her story and let the emotions flow and not butting in with any potentially disruptive questions and adjusting accordingly when the mood shifts.

Also every single part of me itches so bad whenever I get reminded that she and most likely the rest of the cast don't actually get any residuals from Nickelodeon. Like excuse you?? After all those reruns that are still going to this day, and none of the child talents that helped y'all make those shows happen see a single cent of it?? What the whole grain full fat buttery fuckery is this??

ASMeRi Eats

On a lighter note, lemme share with y'all a mukbang video that had me going full on out of character and craving shrimp

Quinton Reviews

Quinton's become quite notorious for releasing videos that do deep dives of series that span anywhere from 2 to 21 hours. No, really…his Sam & Cat videos are a total of 21 hours spread across 3 videos.

Well this week a new video dropped on the Beverly Hillbillies, this time hosted by his father because Quinton's off hard at work on another project. And this video from his dad has a runtime of 38.5 hours. My eye's twitching just thinking about it, but for some reason I've started to watch it and I'm nowhere near even the 25% mark, but I'll ease my way through in multiple sessions.

stories to om-nom-nom next

Hello Kitty Island Adventure: Imagination Celebration Event

Not quite sure how much story they're gonna put into this event, but I hope that there's a good bit in it because there's castles and cute lil medieval fairy tale vibe type costumes involved, and also they're calling Kuromi "Spooky Queen Kuromi" so there's gotta be something there, right?

The Bricklayer

Honestly I just wanna watch this because Nina Dobrev's in it. I barely even remember what was in the trailer.

That's all for this week. Considering that I'm on vacation mode, chances are next week's post is gonna be even longer than this. I apologize in advance 🫡

[allys-diary]

stories i om-nom-nom'd :: march 2024 (week 4)

Welcome to a new thing I wanna try and do to keep some form of writing exercise while I'm lowkey kinda struggling to bang stories out (pun kinda intended). Here I'm just gonna talk abt what I've been reading and watching and playing for the past week and rambling on what I think about them. Summaries for the story either in full or the story so far will be included, and that's the only form of "spoiler warning" I'm gonna give.

Everything below the cut.

movies

Dual (2022)

Considering my interpretation of how the fight between Sarah and her Double went down, I'm in so much pain for her. She already escaped her grayscale dreary life and now she has to live in it again to keep up appearances? She deserves to live, dammit.

Full summary + rant/review here

books

Double Cross by Campbell Thompson

I'm only a chapter in and let me just say right now I love the introduction of Verity and how she really went by her own rules and swiped a watch from a handsy sleazy customer of Eighth Circle. And here we also have an introduction to Thomas Cross that's every bit intimidating as he found the pricey lil trinket she swiped and we end the chapter with him bringing her into his office. 🫢 Now see this is how I know there's smth wrong w me because that last scene got the butterflies going with a vengeance fully knowing that Thomas Cross looks like this:

games

Undercover: Blood Bonds

Undercover: Blood Bonds is a time-management game from GameHouse under their Original Stories line, and requires either a GHOS subscription (under $100/year for full access to all 60+ games) to play the full game, or full payment of the single game (about $10/game), or each level will be locked behind an unskippable ad that's at most 60secs long. I'm playing with the GHOS subscription.

The story I've unlocked so far is that we follow the journey of Vera, a journalist that's gone undercover as bar staff in a nightclub to find out what's happened to her sister Lilly. In a flashback, we get to see that what kicked off the events of the game was that Vera went home to her shared apartment with her sister, only to be greeted with everything turned upside down in an obvious struggle, and a pool of blood on the floor.

Delicious: True Love

Delicious: True Love is another story in the GHOS collection, and tells the story of Emily Napoli, going on adventures and crossing continents to reunite with her long lost love Jean-Paul. Right now she's on a train to Paris with her luggage having made it there before her so she's earning her keep there by helping out in the restaurant.

I've been playing the spin-off "alternate timeline" version of the story called "Delicious World" for a few years on and off, and I've enjoyed the hijinks she's gotten up to so far there with all the twists and turns and antics she's gotten up to with her eventual hubby Patrick. And considering I've got the time due to being in the job hunting phase, I figured 'why not?' and I'd play through the original story.

Delicious World

Speaking of the alternate timeline story, I'm also playing through this game this week, as I have been for the last few weeks. I'm currently in Season 2 Episode 3 where Emily's rekindled her romance with Jean-Paul and ngl they're being quite adorable with their constant kissies and sneaking off to his trailer. We also have a cute lil reveal that her bestie Frank's got a bit of a fling going on with her Rising Chef competitor Monet.

Top that off with Emily having some insecurities popping up because she saw JP's phone lighting up with the name of another celebrity chef Shivani Khurana, her competitor (and current rival) Sarah's older sister. And what's got her stomach in knots is that some time ago, there was a rumor that Shivani and JP had a thing for each other. 🫢☹️

Hello Kitty Island Adventure

I've played through all the quests available under "The Island Mystery" and so far all I got is that the Little TwinStars have this master plan going on that they don't wanna share with the class, and they're acutely aware of exactly how much more we have to do so that we can fully heal the Island Spirit that I have jokingly nicknamed Loki because she's stuck in the heart of a tree.

Ohh and there was a quip from Badtz-Maru about us all being locked in a time loop, so if Sanrio and Sunblink are trying to beat the "Loki crossover" allegations (that are literally just coming from me in the name of jokes and vibes), they're not doing the best job at it.

Disney Dreamlight Valley

Aaaaah, Dreamlight Valley…the game that inspired a whole new story universe (coming to you soon on the writing/main blog), I've also played through all the story quests for this one and I'm chomping at the bit waiting for the new releases for Spring and Summer.

There's definitely something to look out for with Skull Rock, considering that the final quest of Act 1 after facing off and reconciling with The Forgotten centers around the entrance way into said rock. And the friendship quests for The Forgotten mention it twice. And with the way they built it up, I'm hoping that it's gonna be more than just another home for another character. Like idk…maybe a portal? To Neverland? Or Pixie Hollow? Maybe if we get Hook he'll look and sound a bit more like…him?

Nothing left to do but pspspspspspsps, I guess

youtube channels that got my watch hours

Johnniibeanasmr

I don't vibe with a lot of male ASMR channels mostly bc they all have an overly gimicky feel to them, but I vibe w this one a lot. The videos have a cozy atmosphere to them and he's got a soft relaxing whisper that can lull me to sleep. The one that's made it to my "sleepies" playlist is this spider web one:

TheoryVerse

MatPat's theory channels have been with their new hosts for a few weeks now, and personally I think they're doing a great job with their own domains so far. Even though some snarky dude that'll hiss when their skin touches the sunlight and their 3 chest hairs is consistently in my comment replies tryna tell me otherwise (bitch touch grass, honestly).

Anyways, I've still got a good handful of new theories to binge but I'll give some bits that I picked up from the batch that I watched the week before.

Amy Marie validated that I'm already using a pretty good razor for my shaving shenanigans, but there's a potentially better one that I'll probs look into one of these days. She also showed that ultimately what makes the biggest difference is prep and aftercare of the skin, so that's gonna be something I gotta add to the routine.

Santi had me adding "Wendy's hot chicken sandwich" to my list of foods to try. Probs gonna do that to kick off my unplanned vacation of unemployment.

Lee pretty much validated my frustration over Oogway and his insistence of going "I'm not gonna tell you the secret la dee da" because apparently the secret to becoming the greatest warrior of all was inside you all along. And the blind following of Shifu and the ongoing cycle of shoddy mentorship goes on and on 🤦🏻‍♀️

As for Game Theory and its new host Tom, I've actually been able to watch 2 of his theories, and basically he validated my instinctual doubts on the 'helpful' Ollie, as well as walked me through the KinitoPet ARG. Don't trust those animated clipart assistants, kids. Especially this one because I'm not kidding, this game fucking doxxes you.

And just an extra bit of chortles, if you know you know…

lore keeker 🤣

stories to om-nom-nom next

Quiet on Set Ep5: Breaking the Silence

All cards on the table, I'm dreading this more than looking forward to it because watching the first four episodes broke me, and I'm still hurting for the people whose childhoods and innocence were taken from them in the name of money and power. But the creation of the first few episodes empowered another former Nickelodeon talent to come forward, and we're about to hear a whole new account of the physical, psychological, mental, and emotional horrors that went on in those studios.

Double Cross by Campbell Thompson

Diving back into this story and hopefully get through halfway (or maybe even the whole book).

That's all I got for this week. Let's see what this next week brings I guess 👀🫡

[allys-diary]

another plushie has been unearthed from the depths of my parents’ place 😂

meet Bessie. the emotional support cow.