allthepettyart

[allthepettyart]

weeee bungee jump

[allthepettyart]

A priest hooks a huge fish

Helping him reel it in, a sailor says “Whoa, look at the size of that fucker!”.

“Hey, mind your language!” says the priest.

Embarrassed, the sailor thinks quickly and blurts out, “Sorry father, but that’s what this fish is called, it’s a Fucker fish”.

Accepting the explanation, the priest forgives the sailor and takes the fish back to church.

“Look at this huge fucker” says the priest, spotting the bishop.

“Language, please! this is God’s house,” replies the bishop.

“No, no that’s what this fish is called, “says the priest.

“Oh,” says the bishop, scratching his chin “I could clean that fucker and we could have it for dinner”.

So the bishop takes the fish, cleans it, and brings it to the mother superior.

“Could you cook this fucker for dinner tonight?” he asks her.

“My, what language!” she exclaims, clearly shocked.

“No, sister that’s what the fish is called - a fucker”, says the bishop.

Satisfied with the explanation, the mother superior says, “Wonderful, I’ll cook that fucker tonight, The Pope is coming for dinner!”

The fish tastes just great and The Pope asks where they got it.

“Well, I caught the fucker!” says the priest.

“And I cleaned the fucker!” says the bishop.

“And I cooked the fucker!” says the mother superior.

The Pope stares at them for a minute with a steely glaze, leans back on his chair, takes off his cap, puts his feet up on the table, pours himself a whiskey and says:“ You know what?, You cunts are alright.”

[allthepettyart]

We need like “unclench your jaw” posts but for eye strain. Like

Go look at something 20ft away for 20 seconds.

[allthepettyart]

when people are like “the hunger games just stole the plot of battle royale” like listen everything steals from the plot of everything the lion king is just furry hamlet westworld is jurassic park but sexier lost is edgy gilligan’s island there are no original stories and the only good piece of media is jennifer’s body

[allthepettyart]

Having the actual experience of hugging someone in armor ruins so much fan content for me, tbh. Like. It's not snuggly, it's not sexy, it's not intimate. Hug your refrigerator and report back. Now imagine it's also sweaty.

Hugging someone in armor is like not hugging, only worse.

[allthepettyart]

medically accurate muscle chart:

[allthepettyart]

Honey they’re inventing unions at DoorDash

[allthepettyart]

i think im getting better! :) [another event occurs]

[allthepettyart]

#GoodOmens #MemeDumpMonday #GoodOmemes #GoodOmensMemeDump #Aziraphale #Crowley

[allthepettyart]

Absolutely captivated by this very specific type of image

[allthepettyart]

You and your partner can’t conceive a baby, so you go to the local MultiBabies, where the staff trawl the multiverse for one where you did have a baby but was somehow orphaned, so they are plucked from that universe and brought to you to raise as your own.

[allthepettyart]

the guy who designed scythes definitely knew that shit was badass. he didnt care about wheat

[allthepettyart]

hey kids did you know that computers didn't used to automatically connect to the internet. it used to make this screaming noise. we should have listened.

[allthepettyart]

[allthepettyart]

[allthepettyart]

The one thing that I would change about the wicked movie is I would have included a detail from the Wizard of Oz book that was referenced but not explicitly stuck to in the stage musical. The movie didn’t keep it but I wish they did because it lowkey makes no one looking twice at Elphaba in the Emerald City make more sense

In the Wizard of Oz, when Dorothy’s little posse gets to the gates of the Emerald City and a guard gives them these special glasses and locks them onto their faces, because supposedly the glasses protect them from the bright sunlight that reflects off the emerald buildings in the Emerald City, which would blind them otherwise.

They later find out that these glasses are a total sham. They’re just glasses with green lenses. Dorothy buys a green dress while they’re there that magically turns white the second she steps outside the city? It was never green in the first place. The Emerald City itself is not actually green. The Wizard just started mandating these glasses, told everyone the city was green, and they believed him. It really establishes just how much power the Wizard has, even after they realize he has no real magic.

If everyone was wearing these in the Emerald City in Wicked, I just think it would have added another layer to the whole scene when they visit. Elphaba would think everyone in the city is so much more openminded, and it’s actually that they can’t really see her at all. She’d think she’s in a safe place where for the first time in her life she can blend into a crowd, but it’s all an illusion. She and Glinda could get out on that balcony and look down and realize the city is not actually green. This is the one detail I would have changed about the movie.

[allthepettyart]

legit so annoyed about the way the corporate media wants to paint those women waiting outside the court as crazy and as only being there because Luigi is hot. I looked up pictures of them outside the court and they all held signs and were there to send a message: "health over wealth", "denial of medical care = violence", "murder for profit = terrorism", "the United States healthcare stole my livelihood", "insurance lobbyists line politicians' pockets", "healthcare reform NOW". Yeah, they're there because he's hot for sure. Also, there were a lot of men as well but hey, that's not helping the narrative right?