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Faithful Muslim to Atheist

So let me start of by giving a general introduction on what I want to talk about and my personal journey out of Islam.

Without wasting much time let me begin:

Throughout my life I have been a very sincere Muslim and never had a single doubt in Islam, I would pray five times a day and would always ask for forgiveness from God if I ever sinned, and I was also planning to become a Muslim preacher.

My doubts begin

In my early teens, I started having serious doubts about Islam and would ask several questions to my Muslim parents like why did God create humans when he knows a lot will go to hell, and some of the other similar forbidden questions which were looked upon as not righteous because you would have been deemed as questioning God.

So my parents started showing me lectures of Zakir Naik, a famed Muslim apologist who is famous for quoting references very quickly. I started to admire him and became a big fan of his work and most of my doubts went away, for the moment. As he would quote unbelievable scientific miracles in the Quran which I was shocked to hear, and every time I would always think to myself how deluded was I to have such thoughts in the past, or so I thought. 

During my mid teens, I wondered why don’t I try to find some scientific facts in the Quran, since I was led to believe that the Quran was scientifically flawless and me examining the Quran would allow me to find undiscovered scientific knowledge which we humans have yet to discover.

Reading the Quran with meaning for the first time

So I read the Quran, for the first time with meaning (since Muslims are taught to read the Quran in Arabic without knowing a word we are say). After reading the Quran I found things which were deeply disturbing, there were several scientific errors in the Quran, a lot of morally wrong ideas and many logical errors.

So my doubts came like an avalanche at me, and I sort of started to get depressed and started to have thoughts like God is looking at me and he is going to punish me for the kind of thoughts I am having, or what would my parents do if they found out what I was thinking. Then I thought to myself, I have to be rational and distinguish what is true and false and I will study Islam to its core and come to my own judgement after I have studied Islam.

Deep study of Islam

I started doing deep research on Islam, and would read the Tafsirs (Quranic Exegesis), Hadith (sayings and traditions of the Prophet Muhammad), Seerah (Biography of Muhammad). 

The more I read, the more new things I found out, but more importantly, the more I learnt about Islam the more my faith would grew weaker and weaker. 

I studied Islam deeply for approximately three years and after all that research, after all that studying,  I finally sat down and said, “I don’t believe in Islam, I don’t believe in Allah (God) and I don’t believe Muhammad was the prophet of God”. 

After that I felt free, I felt that I found out the truth, and found out about the lie which has devastated the life of Millions believing in this lie, the lie that caused so much pain and problems in the world, the lie that forces people to wear the types of clothes, the lie that forces people to eat only certain foods, the lie that forces people to pray in a weird way five times a day, the lie that forces people to starve for hours a day during the month of Ramadhan, and the lie which I grew up believing.

Pfst, I really did take out a lot of my emotion in that paragraph, but If we do think critically, the major victims of Islam are Muslims, not the west where many Muslims have found asylum to live in, not where wars are fought in the name of this lie. If it is anything these Muslims who are born in warzones are the unluckiest people in the world and the west should be opening their arms and helping as many people as they can.

So coming back to the topic;

Reasons why I left Islam

I can break this down into three broad reasons why I left Islam, including a few slaps on the face which really did wake me up:

Morals thought in Islam

Scientific errors in the Quran

The logical and historical errors in the Quran

So those three are the three broad and main reasons why I left Islam. I will be going into deep detail about each in future blogs.

So in my next Blog I’ll be talking about a few major moments when the stuff I was reading slapped me in the face, and truly did open my eyes for the first time about Islam.