aliuy - Tumblr blog

[aliuy]

As mundane as usual

I was scrolling through internet

Passively swiping, barely hoping

And that’s the first time we met

You were a complete stranger

Little did I know that you knew me

Way back when we were even kids

We went to the same school

Most likely crossing paths

Walking the same hallways

Sitting on the same benches

Talking to the same people

But never talking to each other

Near each other, but never said ‘hi’

Because again little did I know

From the day we started talking

We barely let go of our phones

Like we held on dear to each other

The stories, the words, the eagerness

To finally meet in person

We then both looked forward to

Then came that chance, that day

Though not ideal yet so memorable

Earthquake and heavy rains cannot hinder

As we come face to face, fetched me nervously

Squealed apologetically after seeing me

To be honest, I found it rather genuine

Not sure if you were, but I was nervous

Then became effortlessly comfortable

I kept myself as authentic as I can

I didn’t want to hide nor pretend

You told me about your stories

You laid yourself naked of your truth

Everything that you felt was wrong with you

From your peak hoe phase to your heartbreaks

It was not difficult to understand

And I instantly accepted you

I quietly observed you, was mesmerized

In awe of what I have stumbled upon

I prayed for pares, then was gifted of steak

[aliuy]

[aliuy]

Don't Burn Yourself To Keep Others Warm

[aliuy]

Repressed Emotions

[aliuy]

Okay lang ba humingi ng saklolo?

[aliuy]

No one hears my cries at night

Nor notices what dims my light

For to be compared so tactlessly

Made me think what it is of me

That is still worthy

That is happy

That is alive

Would I still thrive?

For now rather than numb, I feel dead

Would rather not exist instead.

[aliuy]

“People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar.”

— Thích Nhất Hạnh

[aliuy]

I think I came to the point wherein I am helping others too much but others forgot that I need help, too. And now, I’m just...depleted.

[aliuy]

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Initially I felt like it was so unfair that whatever I was giving were not rendered back. Mulling over things on my own, shifting my perspective to a more positive angle, I convinced myself that it does not have to be always fair. It is not always a meet-halfway kind of thing, not a two-way street. Sometimes it is demanded I have to give more than I should if you can’t from your end, to be resilient and unconditional of the circumstances I cannot control. I try so hard to be more understanding, more patient, more open, more generous of the benefit of the doubt, everything more than I already am (or never was). I learned to be vulnerable of my feelings in a different way compared to how I used to (i.e. wallowing in pessimism too much more than I should). I stopped from “bracing myself for the worst” as I embraced the unknown with you. I learned to be more amenable of adjustments when things do not go my way. I learned to wait for my time, for your time. I feel that I have given so much effort, and though it is tiring, I do not want to show that I am complaining or that I am having a hard time. I just want to be true to my feelings as well not to ward you off, but to hopefully make you also understand my side.

I know you are not yet ready for anything that I am offering, nor that I am searching for. But I will wait for as long as I can. I will do my best to be there for you.

Pardon my brutal honesty, I just need to be also putting this out there. Again, not to ward or scare you off, I am hoping to get my point across as unoffensive as possible. I hope to not hurt, but to explain and also be understood.

What I am basically saying is I want this to work. I would work for this. Let me know if you also do.

[aliuy]

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[aliuy]

In spite of everything, I still believe people are really good at heart.

— Anne Frank, The Diary of a Young Girl

[aliuy]

Ironically, the information age seems to have bred the most morons

[aliuy]

Love to Ashes🚬

[aliuy]

The women’s version of having a man open a tightened jar top is when the man needs her help undoing the impossible to open plastic bag knot.

[aliuy]

I hope this same shit doesn’t happen to you. You can’t handle it.

[aliuy]

Hindi ako iyakin, kaya tuloy ang hirap maglabas ng feelings.

[aliuy]

I keep purging my closet, my entire room as a way to actually purge my mind with thoughts of everything that hurts and kills me. I want everything that does not contribute to my well-being out. Leave me be please.