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tweaking off this latte

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90s vintage

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osha compliant blowjob

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here’s what’s going to happen: im gonna fuck your dad. in his hole, no flip-flop versatile fag shit. hes gonna love it, whimpering moaning all that crap. i don’t care, im recording it. im going to take all those stupid bisexual bottom noises he’s making and im going to sample them for my hot new hardcore dubstep album. it will suck shit and a bunch of poly gen x losers are going to love it and give me so much money because they all own independent breweries in portland where most of their income is from the weekly burlesque shows they hold there. then im going to buy a sailboat and sail to the remote island of tristen de cunha where some of the finest wool in the world is woven. ill spend the rest of my dubstep money on that wool, unprocessed. sell it at a premium in siberian marketplaces. then im going to buy imax, the company. every imax screen in the world is going to only show legally blondes, the legally blonde spinoff about elle woods’ twin cousins. everyone is going to be pissed as fuck and i wont care.

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Sometimes l'm late because I sit like this for a long time

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mice are having sex in my walls :(

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just living life cursed and doomed

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having a cat is great. there's a small little animal wandering around. effervescent

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Don't ever say some shit to me like it's a dog eat dog world. I honestly think it's bad when dogs do that to each other

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HELP i think i just found the funniest thing ever