aliascleverbot

[aliascleverbot]

::I guess they never get promoted because they die in the war, you know? They’re soldiers, they can totally get promoted. They just don’t put in the effort to earn it. And hey, we’re at war, there’s hardly resources to change your looks. I can’t even change my damn paintjob!:: Or get rid of his doorwings. Or those stupid headlights. Yeah, his attempt at scanning an Earth vehicle had gone horribly wrong.

::Once we win the war, everyone will be able to look however the frag they want, you’ll see. No problem there at all.::

::Soundwave, sir?:: M8-TE sent, sliding claws together as he tried to battle his nerves. ::would- that is, could ya send more of those songfiles ya showed us when we visited? Tremblebit has been... kinda... nagging,:: he confessed, embarrassed.

::Buddy, you’ve got such a wrong frequency. But sure, I can send you some music, if you like aggrotech. Who is this, is this some weird aft prank?:: Answering the comm, Cleverbot frowned. Was this a joke? As if he didn’t feel inferior enough around Soundwave as it was, now people got them mixed up over the comm, too?

[aliascleverbot]

::But it’s... It’s not exactly... It’s weak. And ugly. And not valuable at all.:: It was kind of a wonder to Cleverbot that it hadn’t just... flickered out. And the thought that one day he might have to show Crinis both made him incredibly excited, and absolutely terrified.

::And... It’s also totally yours, if you, you know. Want it and stuff.:: Woah, he was bad at being romantic. He’d meant to go for the ‘my heart belongs to you’ trope, but somehow, he felt that he had messed that up.

::No matter what Al-Pal told you it's not true!::

::Is that so?::

[aliascleverbot]

“More information about what? If you think I’m telling you anything, you’re totally wrong. And what guidance, I’ve had plenty of guidance, I’ve had more people teaching me than you can probably count.” Okay, so that was a bit of an overstatement, but who cared. His point was he had grown up among scientists who had all been responsible for teaching him.

“I can thrive on my own. I’ve been on my own all life, and I’m doing just fine. Like you said, I’ve made it to be an officer. I’m totally thriving.” Carefully looking over the drone, Cleverbot crossed his arms, making a face that was definitely not a pout as he kicked the floor. “And I thought I told you not to call me little!”

::Greetings, this frequency was mentioned in a report given to me some time ago- I am merely doing a follow-up. I am Slickride- and you are... Cleverbot, is this correct?:: the drone asked, scrolling through the report. ::Would you mind to talk for a bit, or is this a bad time?::

::Follow-up on what? Yeah, that’s me, what’s… Oh. Hang on. You’re that guy. Mr. Porny. What do you want?:: Cleverbot didn’t sound hostile - yet. Honestly, he was just rather confused about why this Slickride wanted to talk to him. About what? Was he going to scold him for having been rude? Pch. Cleverbot would go right ahead and be rude to him, too, then.

[aliascleverbot]

“What, teach me to be quiet? I don’t have to, I’m a science officer now. I can say whatever I damn well please.” Oh, Cleverbot was ready for an oral fight. He was primed to give this weird-ass drone a verbal lashing of a lifetime, he knew enough swears and names to make even a hardened veteran impressed. It was on.

... Wasn’t it? Apparently not, since Slickride just... sat there. And read, of all things to do. ... What the slag? Slowly, the aggressively raised antennae lowered to a questioning angle, Cleverbot staring at Slickride. “... What the frag’s your problem? What do you want?”

::Greetings, this frequency was mentioned in a report given to me some time ago- I am merely doing a follow-up. I am Slickride- and you are... Cleverbot, is this correct?:: the drone asked, scrolling through the report. ::Would you mind to talk for a bit, or is this a bad time?::

::Follow-up on what? Yeah, that’s me, what’s… Oh. Hang on. You’re that guy. Mr. Porny. What do you want?:: Cleverbot didn’t sound hostile - yet. Honestly, he was just rather confused about why this Slickride wanted to talk to him. About what? Was he going to scold him for having been rude? Pch. Cleverbot would go right ahead and be rude to him, too, then.

[aliascleverbot]

::Uh, what? See me soon? I don’t think so. What’re you gonna do, waltz into the Nemesis? And besides, if you’re a prime, why would I wanna discuss anything with you? I don’t- oh, you slagger.:: Interrupting himself with a curse when he recognizes a bridge opening, Cleverbot narrowed his optics behind his visor.

Fine. So be it. He had no idea who this alternate of Soundwave was, but he did know that according to lord Megatron, Primes were their enemies. So he backed up, chose a gun from his desk, and leveled it at the bridge. If Soundwave turned out to be an enemy, Cleverbot was going to defend himself and teach him that it was a damn stupid idea to walk into the lab of a weapons developer uninvited.

Hi!

::Yes? Hello? I don’t recognize this frequency, who’s this?::

[aliascleverbot]

::Well, he can’t really travel across the galaxies to get to them, now can he? He’s needed by lord Megatron’s side, he’s third in command, you know. Duh.:: The spy had so much more important things to do, he was needed on the Nemesis to keep an optic on the Decepticon empire, plan missions, retaliate against the Autobots... He was needed.

::That’s not a lie! Lord Megatron is awesome and the best leader we could wish for!:: The question surprised him, simply because to Cleverbot, it was obvious. ::Uh, they’re soldiers? You know, there can’t really be any fighting without soldiers, yeah?::

::Soundwave, sir?:: M8-TE sent, sliding claws together as he tried to battle his nerves. ::would- that is, could ya send more of those songfiles ya showed us when we visited? Tremblebit has been... kinda... nagging,:: he confessed, embarrassed.

::Buddy, you’ve got such a wrong frequency. But sure, I can send you some music, if you like aggrotech. Who is this, is this some weird aft prank?:: Answering the comm, Cleverbot frowned. Was this a joke? As if he didn’t feel inferior enough around Soundwave as it was, now people got them mixed up over the comm, too?

[aliascleverbot]

::Ex-cuse you? You’re talking to a genius, here! Yeah, that’s right, a genius. You should actually be thankful, I’m smarter than even Shockwave.:: Sounding incredibly miffed, Cleverbot crossed his arms. It wasn’t all boasting, either - he was brilliant when it came to certain things. Though, where Shockwave also possessed medical knowledge, Cleverbot didn’t, so the whole “smarter than” thing could be discussed.

Hi!

::Yes? Hello? I don’t recognize this frequency, who’s this?::

[aliascleverbot]

Oh, phew, that was a huge relief. Cleverbot didn’t even know what his spark could tell anyone, but he was sure it was nothing good. It was so weak and freakish, he didn’t want anyone to know! Thankfully, this idiot only wanted to teach him, so that- wait. Hang on.

“Whaddya mean ‘teach me’? I don’t need any lessons from you, I was raised by the top scientists the Decepticon cause had to offer! One cycle old me probably had had more knowledge downloaded to my processor than you’ll ever have. They uploaded everything in here, you can’t teach me anything.” Tapping his temple, Cleverbot smirked, then huffed out a large portion of air. “And stop calling me little!”

::Greetings, this frequency was mentioned in a report given to me some time ago- I am merely doing a follow-up. I am Slickride- and you are... Cleverbot, is this correct?:: the drone asked, scrolling through the report. ::Would you mind to talk for a bit, or is this a bad time?::

::Follow-up on what? Yeah, that’s me, what’s… Oh. Hang on. You’re that guy. Mr. Porny. What do you want?:: Cleverbot didn’t sound hostile - yet. Honestly, he was just rather confused about why this Slickride wanted to talk to him. About what? Was he going to scold him for having been rude? Pch. Cleverbot would go right ahead and be rude to him, too, then.

[aliascleverbot]

Instantly, Cleverbot’s mood changed from aggressive to scared, the arms which had been crossed now flying up to clutch at his chest. Slickride could... feel his spark? How? And... Cleverbot didn’t let anyone see or even listen to his spark. It was abominable, freakish, weak. His spark wasn’t right. 

“Wha- don’t go groping around my spark with your weird-aft proximity slag! That’s private, how dare you! And just who are you calling little?! You’re not that much taller than me! And- and... stop making yourself comfortable!” Nervousness was the same as fear, fear was the same as weakness. And Cleverbot refused to be weak. Thus, he covered everything with more anger - if he shouted loud enough, you couldn’t hear the uneasiness in his voice.

::Greetings, this frequency was mentioned in a report given to me some time ago- I am merely doing a follow-up. I am Slickride- and you are... Cleverbot, is this correct?:: the drone asked, scrolling through the report. ::Would you mind to talk for a bit, or is this a bad time?::

::Follow-up on what? Yeah, that’s me, what’s… Oh. Hang on. You’re that guy. Mr. Porny. What do you want?:: Cleverbot didn’t sound hostile - yet. Honestly, he was just rather confused about why this Slickride wanted to talk to him. About what? Was he going to scold him for having been rude? Pch. Cleverbot would go right ahead and be rude to him, too, then.

[aliascleverbot]

::What. Hang on. What kinda weird-aft ‘Verse are you even from? It sounds worse than those shattered ones, and those are crazy. What even is a spark brother?:: 

Hi!

::Yes? Hello? I don’t recognize this frequency, who’s this?::

[aliascleverbot]

“Shove your caution up your tailpipe. And what the slag kinda weird aft drone are you even? You look stupid." Thin arms crossed over a frail chassis, Cleverbot raising his doorwings and antennae to appear bigger.

“Well I’m totally not. I’m probably way older than you, so show some respect!” That was a very obvious and blatant lie, but Cleverbot didn’t care. Instead, he just sniffed, sticking up his nose. “No way, you deserve all those insults, cog-sucker.”

::Greetings, this frequency was mentioned in a report given to me some time ago- I am merely doing a follow-up. I am Slickride- and you are... Cleverbot, is this correct?:: the drone asked, scrolling through the report. ::Would you mind to talk for a bit, or is this a bad time?::

::Follow-up on what? Yeah, that’s me, what’s… Oh. Hang on. You’re that guy. Mr. Porny. What do you want?:: Cleverbot didn’t sound hostile - yet. Honestly, he was just rather confused about why this Slickride wanted to talk to him. About what? Was he going to scold him for having been rude? Pch. Cleverbot would go right ahead and be rude to him, too, then.

[aliascleverbot]

... Hold the fucking phone. This afthat had traced his location before even contacting him? That was... Well he wanted to say rude, but he didn’t know enough about social relations to know if it actually was. It sure as scrap was infuriating!

::How the frag dare you do that before even asking for permission?! And who said I’m young, you don’t know how old I am! I could be way older than you, porn-fragger!:: He was young, though, and that somehow only made it worse, Cleverbot hiding behind insults and huffing himself up to appear bigger.

::Greetings, this frequency was mentioned in a report given to me some time ago- I am merely doing a follow-up. I am Slickride- and you are... Cleverbot, is this correct?:: the drone asked, scrolling through the report. ::Would you mind to talk for a bit, or is this a bad time?::

::Follow-up on what? Yeah, that’s me, what’s… Oh. Hang on. You’re that guy. Mr. Porny. What do you want?:: Cleverbot didn’t sound hostile - yet. Honestly, he was just rather confused about why this Slickride wanted to talk to him. About what? Was he going to scold him for having been rude? Pch. Cleverbot would go right ahead and be rude to him, too, then.

[aliascleverbot]

:: ...Bullslag, Soundwave isn’t a Prime, and he’d never wanna be. He’d probably give the Matrix to lord Megatron if he ever got the chance. So, really, who is this?:: Yeah, he’s suspicious and not buying that.

Hi!

::Yes? Hello? I don’t recognize this frequency, who’s this?::

[aliascleverbot]

::Why’d you wanna speak with me? You’d either bore me or not understand a word of what I was saying.:: Did... Did this guy just agree with the nickname which had been meant as an insult. Cleverbot frowned in confusion. 

::And why would I wanna know more from you? Pch, yeah, sure, you can come visit, if you can track down my frequency and doesn’t mind freaks or huge spiders.:: Giving a low snicker - it most definitely was not a giggle - Cleverbot crossed his arms. Oh sure, a talented hacker like Soundwave or those working with him might be able to find him, but he didn’t expect that some pornstar drone would.

::Greetings, this frequency was mentioned in a report given to me some time ago- I am merely doing a follow-up. I am Slickride- and you are... Cleverbot, is this correct?:: the drone asked, scrolling through the report. ::Would you mind to talk for a bit, or is this a bad time?::

::Follow-up on what? Yeah, that’s me, what’s… Oh. Hang on. You’re that guy. Mr. Porny. What do you want?:: Cleverbot didn’t sound hostile - yet. Honestly, he was just rather confused about why this Slickride wanted to talk to him. About what? Was he going to scold him for having been rude? Pch. Cleverbot would go right ahead and be rude to him, too, then.

[aliascleverbot]

The soft touch of loyalty.

Semi present for, and semi inspired by, @megatron-prime because we’re both fandorks for the way Soundwave touches Megatron’s face.

In other news, this is the very first time mun has tried an art style like this, and instead of looking up tutorials and references like a sane person, I just heedlessly jumped into it. And holy pork is it difficult to draw a scarred mouth when you won’t permit yourself lineart! I’m kinda happy with the result, though, and it certainly was fun to try.

[aliascleverbot]

Starscream, just let him, it makes him happy.

So I watched Kung Fu Panda 3, and the “wings of surveillance” joke just stuck with me, I had to make this. I probably didn’t get the scene entirely right, and I obviously had to adapt it a bit, buuuuut… I had to draw this.

It’s horribly silly, and I’ll be the first to admit I can’t draw planes - luckily, I’m the happy owner of the Art of Prime book so I could see what to do. Also, never be ashamed to copy+paste when you’re making stupid comics!

[aliascleverbot]

::Uh, we are! But we gotta guard against traitors and autodorks and slag like that, duh. What if someone tried to betray lord Megatron? The DJD keep that from happening.:: Well, except for Starscream’s escapades, but the SIC was the exception to the rule. Then it was his turn to freeze up, optics widening behind his visor.

::Wha- no way! I don’t believe that! And even if it did happen, our lord is better than that, it won’t happen to him! And I don’t worship cruelty! I’m a Decepticon and proud! We’re fighting for equality, and freedom of choice, and no more functionalism! Lord Megatron is going to change Cybertron for the better, you’ll see!::

::Soundwave, sir?:: M8-TE sent, sliding claws together as he tried to battle his nerves. ::would- that is, could ya send more of those songfiles ya showed us when we visited? Tremblebit has been... kinda... nagging,:: he confessed, embarrassed.

::Buddy, you’ve got such a wrong frequency. But sure, I can send you some music, if you like aggrotech. Who is this, is this some weird aft prank?:: Answering the comm, Cleverbot frowned. Was this a joke? As if he didn’t feel inferior enough around Soundwave as it was, now people got them mixed up over the comm, too?