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Anna de Noailles, translated by Norman R. Shapiro, from Poems; “Dazzled, Precise,”

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needless to say, i am taking the election news incredibly hard. brain space is occupied by not great thoughts... 😭

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Baldur’s Gate 3:ActII (x)

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𝑙𝑎𝑒𝑟𝑎 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑎𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑟𝑖𝑜𝑛 —

"astarion, i can't do this by myself."

"say no more, sweetest. how can i help?"

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𝑙𝑎𝑒𝑟𝑎 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑎𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑟𝑖𝑜𝑛 —

"you'll be fine; i know you'll be."

"yes, but a send-off kiss from the hero's beloved wouldn't hurt, would it?"

"heh, you're impossible."

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any moment might be our last. everything is more beautiful because we're doomed. you will never be lovelier than you are now. we will never be here again.

INDIE MULTIMUSE containing characters from dragon age and dungeons & dragons. written by marta.

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𝐀𝐋𝐂𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐈 —

❛ i know somewhere we can go...

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in dnd, backstories can have as much or as little of an impact as you want on your character, and in how i've taken to writing astarion, the influence of his backstory doesn't just begin when he met and was turned by cazador!!

(i've had rambling thoughts since i'm in act 3 on my monkstarion run), but i was telling @chmarva that meeting jaheira's family is my favourite scene to have astarion present for bc he realises that yeah, what they're doing is about preserving the city, but also about protecting the people he's come to cherish — his surrogate family.

and in that, for the first time in a loooong time, he actually starts thinking about his own family (bc watching jaheira be bullied by a gaggle of tweens unlocks core memories of astarion's childhood with his own parents lol). he starts wondering about his parents, his aunt, the people he knew in his previous life, and to those he's closest to, will bring up a little more of his past before he was turned.

those thoughts stick with him well into the endgame, where he, along with laera and lae'zel, make the journey to rebuild his broken family ties, and reestablish that connection he once had. 😭

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i don't believe i've ever referred to astarion as a "spawn" in any of my writings bc it feels really reductive to me??

like.... like an erasure of his personhood, and it forces you to always link his existence to cazador.

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“ you’re staring, ” sylas bluntly says. 🖤

Westgate was… different. Mimicking that of the Gate's Lower City but with more crime, fish markets, and an all around hardened populace, where a look from any one sailor could wilt the fainthearted. In submerging himself within Westhavian customs, he had come to understand where Laera developed her toughened skin from her. Sailors were an interesting sort of a people — a group all their own — that had been tempered by the choppy seas. Their wills had been broken against the bows of their great ships, and when they came to dock again in Westgate's Great Port, they're a changed lot.

Astarion is beginning to recognise some of them, and despite his exceptional ability to charm almost anyone, it isn't so with the sailors and the local regulars. Maybe they sense his frustation as his constitution, too, continues to been whittled down from the haggling and playful taunting. As an honourary barmaid at The Dove's Nest, where he might settle disputes with a bloody knife fight, his sharpened retorts are about all he can manage as not to upset his much beloved host.

One such patron, however, has caught his eye — and not because he deems them a worthy target; he has gladly retired from that — but because something, something, is off about this one.

❝ I am. ❞ Astarion admits, attempting to quietly deduce his suspicions from behind the bar. The man, and his wife, have taken a room upstairs, some three doors down from where he and Laera sleep. Generally, they keep to themselves, but Astarion has begun to notice the wife making more of an appearance since they first arrived. She's more social; he isn't, so it doubly surprises the vampire when his elusive guest begins first conversation. ❝ You've been here three days, and I simply don't you see you very often. Your wife, is she, is much more social than you are. Although, I don't entirely blame you for avoiding the sailors; they're a lot to handle, regardless of if they've drank or not. ❞ Their laughing and singing rattles the walls of the dockside establishment, and for a moment, he forgets he's supposed to be working! Reluctantly, he takes to stacking glassware behind him, if only to keep this rare talk going. ❝ I'm usually discouraged from prying too much, but I can't help myself: What brings you to beautiful Westgate? ❞

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❛ CREATURE OF 𝑬𝑿𝑸𝑼𝑰𝑺𝑰𝑻𝑬 𝑯𝑼𝑵𝑮𝑬𝑹 ; & 𝑃𝑂𝐼𝐺𝑁𝐴𝑁𝑇 𝑇𝐻𝐼𝑅𝑆𝑇―

♦ 𝐀𝐋𝐂𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐈 - an independent, mutuals only and very private writing blog for 𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐎𝐍 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝐁𝐚𝐥𝐝𝐮𝐫'𝐬 𝐆𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐈𝐈𝐈. influenced by personal headcanons and through relationships forged in words. as told by killi. this blog contains mature and dark themes; use discretion when following.

an 𝑜𝑏𝑠𝑒𝑟𝑣𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛 in: freedom no matter the cost ; power is power ; a deepening hunger ; becoming more than what made you.

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Phantom Thread (2017) | dir. Paul Thomas Anderson

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i'll genuinely... truly... never get over the fact astarion sews and embroiders

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isn't he just so...

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the work week is over, i got my comfy clothes on, and it's a good night for vampire movies. >:))

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Phantom Thread (2017) | dir. Paul Thomas Anderson

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antigone and i have done of a lot of tying muses together, and one of the (many!!) relationships astarion has is with hexxat, who was a vampire companion from bg2.

i always get interested in astarion's perceptions of others who are vampires, bc he only has his own lived experience, but also, it poses the question of my characterisation of "will he ever be cured of his vampirism?" and i don't think he ever will be.

it's my belief that him being cursed of his vampirism will remove an integral part of his characterisation; which post-game, is learning how to love himself, as he is, and build the life that he wants for himself. it almost feels like a cop out, or that by taking away this aspect of himself will miraculously heal him of his past traumas, and that simply isn't true.

so astarion will be a vampire, for the rest of his life, but in that, he'll have the relationships he cherishes and the freedom he deserves.