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I can be trusted with an industrial grade sticker machine

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i love the phrase "sex pervert" like. as opposed to what? abstinence pervert?

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The Dutch Watterswyn, and other marine pig monsters:

On the Dutch island of Schiermonnikoog, parents would scare their children with stories of the Watterswyn (pronounced something like ‘wahter sweyn’): a marine pig-monster that would pull children under while swimming.

The name is an older Dutch word and literally means ‘water pig’ or ‘aquatic pig’. In modern Dutch it would be ‘Waterzwijn’. As far as bogeymen characters go, this is a very standard and common motif in folklore (although the association with pigs is unusual) but what intrigued me is the rabbit hole that marine pig monsters turned out to be.

In 1555, Olaus Magnus wrote a dissertation on the culture and history of the northern peoples, in which he mentioned a sighting of a marine pig creature in 1537 in the German Ocean (referring to the North Sea). (See image below:)

As per his description, the beast had the head of a pig, four dragon-like legs and a forked, fish-like tail. This ‘Porco monstroso Oceani Germanici’ had a structure on its back that resembled a crescent moon. Also unusual were its eyes: it had two on each side of its loins, and a third eye on its belly.

A pamphlet detailing the creature was indeed published in Rome in 1537 (see 3rd image) and it interpreted the strange features of the creature as religious signs (which the author corroborated with Bible references): the moon on the creature’s back represents the distortion of truth, as the moon represents the Church (therefore, truthfulness), but its appearance on the creature’s back instead of its forehead signifies distortion and dishonesty. The draconic limbs reflect perverted acts and evil passions. The eyes on its body represent scandalous and sexual intention, while the eye on the stomach represents gluttony (as a different form of lust).

The complete image supposedly represents the swine-like life of a heathen. According to Magnus, the appearance of the sea pig was supposed to be a sign for the morally corrupted people of the time (meaning the 16th century) that they should change their ways. Magnus also claims that the monster is a vicious and cruel hunter, though this was not mentioned in the pamphlet, unless I missed it.

In 1551, Conrad Gessner also described the beast in his Historiae Animalium, where he compared the creature to a hyena (for reasons unclear to me).

The Watterswyn that terrorized the children of Schiermonnikoog is most likely unrelated to the Porco monstroso Oceani Germanici’, though we cannot rule out that one or both creatures were based on real life sea animals. If so, they might be the same animal, as both were found in the North Sea, though this is just speculation on my part.

Since similar references to aquatic pigs are more common than I expected, they might refer to certain marine mammals or other animals.

Sources:

De Blécourt, W., Koman, R.A., Van der Kooi, J., Meder, T., 2010, Verhalen van Stad en Streek: Sagen en Legenden in Nederland, Bert Bakker, Koninklijke Nederlandse Akademie van Wetenschappen, 586 pp. P. 101.

Magnus, O., 1555, Historia de Gentibus Septentrionalibus, 1628 pp., p. 756. Which you can read here.

Author unknown, 1537, Monstrum in Oceano Germanico a piscatoribus nuper captum, & eius partium omnium subtilis, ac Theologica interpretation, pamphlet, Rome, which you can read here.

Gessner, C., 1551, Medici Tigurini Historiae Animalium Liber IIII. qui est de Piscium & Aquatilium animantium natura, p. 247, accessed from the Library of Congress, https://www.loc.gov/item/06004347/.

(Image source 1: Historiae animalium, 1551)

(Image source 2: Historia de Gentribus Septentrionalibus, 1555)

(Image source 3: Monstrum in Oceano Germanico, 1537)

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I loveee fantasy settings doing magical exhaustion:

burnt out pyromancers emitting steam and smoke

tired cryomancers shivering with visible foggy breath

weary necromancers looking ill and hearing voices

frazzled healers receiving the same cuts, bruises, and injuries of their patients

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saying cats don't contribute to the household is slander: they do have a job and it's going into mystery crevices and collecting all the cobwebs on their stupid little head

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Brand new sentences in the discord tonight

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Hey babe can we try petplay? *starts scratching and hammering on the door* LET ME OUTTTTTTTT LET ME OUT OF HERE PLEASE GOD LET ME OUT

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*covered in blood* I'm literally fine guys. im still funny. Would you like to hear a joke Im going to tell you a joke

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anyway. onto better things

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dump your stupid boyfriend get your ass online and scroll past my post

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2 coffee doodles in my sketchbook to warm up

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I had such a great day yesterday. I'm passing the great day onto the next person. you get it, it's yours now

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COMMISSIONS ARE OPEN!

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