alaskagustafson-blog
alaska gustafson
"alaska gustafson" is an alaskaonthemoon brand poetry-dump tumblr. philadelphia.
26 posts
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threadbare, a sketch in words
i’m sorry a thousand times embroidered into a fitted bed sheet
please forgive me five hundred times embroidered on a pair of pillow cases
i love you one million times embroidered into every seam, holding it all together
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my heart has been replaced by crumpled up ball of masking tape and latex paint
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kiss me before you pull the trigger, i want to dance on the moon before i go to hell. this life on earth has been a nightmare, some sick sorry joke of show & tell
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ideation
women and the men who torture them: a series of tiredness and love
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Tell the badge on the doll
if he even touched you at all
open wide, the exam
Conducted by a man
try not to scream when they swab
Tell your dad tell your mom
Emergency room therapist plan b pills psychiatrists
Is that a scissor or a phallus?
Xanax addiction dont leave the house drop out of school sleep on a couch
Overdosing on a plane damn that xanax was insane
Crushed up vibans shouting loud chainsmoking menthol crowd
Drunk again but not in bliss
Howd your life end up like this?
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It makes my heart hurt that so many of my good friends have been sexually abused by the people they once trusted. It makes me angry that because of the shame surrounding speaking out about sexual assault cases, they suffer in silence. I am exhausted from carrying the burden of this trauma for so long. I am angry that i have had to out of survival. I am still scared of my family finding out because i know i will be less in their eyes because of it. I am scared for women and girls in this new trumpocalyptic world, where rape is not only normalized by figures in the media but by the goddamn president. I fear for my life walking around in the dark, and i am angry that i have to. I am angry because so many other women fear for their lives every day because of the body they were born in. I am angry that trans women have an even harder time, with a life expectancy rate being a third of a cis womans is. I am so angry and hurt. This is at the fault of men. Men need to start holding other men accountable for their actions. Men need to stop their friends before they start harassing women on the street. Men need to start disconnecting with known and outed rapists. Men need to punish other men for their crimes against women. Its not our job, we are your victims. It's your job to keep yourself in check.
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true story
I smiled at harry on the street
( then he ashed in my eye )
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I keep forgetting things i wish i could remember
I keep remembering things i wish i could forget
My heart is beating so wild, I want to cut it out of my chest
Youre all i think about and it makes me hate you
I keep trying to call you and at this point i doubt youre even real
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When i locked eyes with you from the other side of the road, i ran into moving traffic hoping that a car would hit me. The car stopped short, i didn't die for real, but i was already dead inside.
She was short and sweet and skinny and long brown hair. She was everything I am not. She looked alarmed at my crazed eyes, and my screaming at you. You didn't bat an eye. You smirked and just kept walking.
When jackie finally caught up with me, she wanted to know why the fuck did i run into the street, and that she wished she coulda stopped me. I was cursing your name, she was calming me down. She said you weren't the only boy in town.
(But you're the only one for me.)
You've ignored me for weeks, made me feel like complete shit.
(You knew exactly how to do it too)
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I took up smoking to keep myself warm while you gave me the cold shoulder
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She Gave a cocaine dollar to the woman behind the glass, she got no class
Depression naps turn into sleep,
She hasnt washed her clothes in weeks
But i cant complain
cause im the same
& I can't change (2)
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you called out my name
but its never been the same
i would never try to hurt you
if you think i’m not ashamed
well, that is your mistake
i never meant to hurt you
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depression hit me like a sock full of soap on a sunday evening
the soda and pears aint poached yet
do i do it?
feelin like a moldy wet towel, stepped on by the dog
a mouth full of cold green beans and salt could never fix the way you are
you’re careless and you spilled all the drinks on the stoop, cockroaches laughin at you
you think the rhinestones are ticks on your back when you take your eyelashes off
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wip
are your cocaine nightmares keeping you up at night?
you took an ac stripper home, but you’ll be waking up all alone
in the dark she said,
If you’re gonna be the sweetest boy i ever met, if you’re gonna be the sweetest boy i ever met, if you’re gonna be the sweetest boy i ever met, then come here darling, lemme give you head
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when the glob of burning kerosene salt
hits the back of your throat like hot semen
you pray you don’t swallow this
you gag and choke but try not to show it
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