al-in-my-head - Tumblr blog

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Skill issue. They made Tommy pretty damn near perfect for Buck and they could do the same for Eddie if they tried.

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118 + Extended (Found) Family Vacation Planning (part 7) Master List

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heeeeeee 🫶

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Me for months: Tommy was set up as core to the Gerrard plot in season 8

Me when we got confirmation from Tim himself that Tommy is core to the Gerrard plot:

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Eddie’s Season 8 mustache, which showrunner Tim Minear confirms to TVLine is a “manifestation of something that’s going on within him,” has taken social media by storm — but we’re sad to report that, like all good things, it won’t last forever. Minear says the emotional reason behind the ‘stache will be explored “in an episode where he shaves it off.” Speaking of mustaches, Buck has an especially difficult time bowing to Gerrard as the 118’s new captain. (“He’s awful, and he’s an awfully fun character to have in the mix.”) On the bright side, Buck’s relationship with Tommy is going strong (“They’re still getting to know each other a little better”), so at least he’ll have someone to complain to after a long day of putting up with his racist, sexist, homophobic boss. Meanwhile, Bobby becomes a technical advisor on a “ridiculous firefighter show that’s nothing like reality”; Councilwoman Ortiz will remain a thorn in Hen and Karen’s sides as they fight to get their foster care license reinstated; newlyweds Maddie and Chimney weigh the pros and cons of growing their own family; and the return of a familiar face from Athena’s past will force her to “deal with a seminal event in her canonical life.”

BONUS SPOILER!: The two recurring villains of Season 8, Captain Gerrard and Councilwoman Ortiz, are “connected in many ways,” Minear hints.

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Does anybody else wishes that one time Jaskier would just loose it and go apeshit instead of doing his usual coping mechanism joke

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this photoshoot lives rent free in my head

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Softness is an indulgence.

Tommy can't remember when he first started to think of softness as a bad thing. Probably somewhere around the time his father yelled at him for bringing home a bird with a broken wing.

Thomas Kinard Sr. had vices. Like Cuban cigars, good whiskey and slapping his wife when she said the wrong thing. There was no place in his life for soft things, not even for a son who liked to watch birds for hours.

Tommy learned his lesson quickly. He played football, tinkered with cars and kissed cute cheerleaders. One time the police brought him home, slightly tipsy despite the fact that he was 17, with a black eye and bruised knuckles. His father chuckled and slapped his shoulder because: "Boys will be boys."

In hindsight the old bastard never approved of Tommy more than in that moment.

Tommy joined the army because he needed to fly. Because running away from that nameless thing that left a hole in his chest wasn't enough.

He was so deeply in denial, he didn't think it was important. Nothing was as important as flying.

The lessons he learned at home and in school worked well in the army. Tommy knew how to make friends, how to be a team player, when to laugh and when to look the other way when somebody was treated like shit. No room for softness.

The unnamed thing suddenly became very real when Tommy was 23. He shoved it in a box, put a lock on it and threw away the key for good measure. It still felt like he had the word 'fag' tattooed on his forehead.

He only started to figure himself out once he left the army and became a firefighter. In a lot of ways the training academy and the 118 reminded him of being in the army, so he was less than eager to come out of the closet.

But he started to indulge. In anonymous hookups. In clothes that were a bit more comfortable. In playing sports for fun instead of proving something to other people.

His mother died while he was still in the closet. Tommy was so mad about the fact that she didn't get to see him happy, he ended up coming out to his father in a spectacular shouting match. They only spoke a handful of times in the years since then.

It was the proverbial last straw that made Tommy change his life. The 118 was also in the process of changing at the time, and maybe he could have been happy there, but he needed to go back to flying.

So he joined the 217. Came out. Bought a small fixer upper and an old Corvette to work on. Started dating instead of just sleeping with men.

He made room for kindness. For deeper friendships where he didn't hide away most of himself. For fun nights out at the karaoke bar. Tommy embraced the softness by eating his favourite cake, buying queer art and putting bird feeders in the backyard.

And just when he thought his life was as good as it could get, Howie called him with a crazy story about a missing cruise ship. That's how Evan found his way into Tommy's life.

Now Evan makes everything just a little bit softer. A little bit sweeter. A little less heavy.

"I don't think I've ever met somebody who is as comfortable in his own skin as you," Evan tells him.

And Tommy tells him about growing up in a world without soft things.

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Because @verschlimmbesserung said: "Guys are usually really surprised, but also quietly chuffed about getting flowers."

~

Buck is in the middle of a q-word shift when he gets the glorious idea to google 'gifts for your boyfriend'.

He barely saw Tommy last week because they were on opposing shifts, and this week a stomach bug is wreaking havoc at Harbor, so Tommy has been picking up extra shifts left and right. It sucks, but Buck loves that his boyfriend is a guy who doesn't let his colleagues down.

In theory he could ask for a date tonight and Tommy would do his best to make that happen too. Which is exactly why Buck doesn't need to ask. Tommy never makes him second-guess whether he's important, and Buck doesn't need to chase after him for reassurance.

So he's getting his amazing boyfriend a present. Something that says 'Hang in there!' but also 'I miss you'. Buck just needs the right idea.

Most of the suggested gifts are boring. Cup holders, socks and battery testers. Gym bags and sweatshirts? Tommy has enough of those.

A massage oil bar. Buck imagines running it over Tommy's broad shoulders... Maybe that's more of a present for himself.

A box of candy from Japan? That might be fun.

Lingerie. Okay, if Buck was a woman he would definitely consider that a nice way to surprise his boyfriend.

There's a small portable coffee maker that looks great, but it costs more than Buck is willing to spend on a small gift.

Gaming equipment, mini drones, ice cream makers... None of it seems right for Tommy.

In the end Buck wanders over to couch where Hen is sitting and asks her: "You order flowers for Karen sometimes, right?"

"Yes?"

"Where are you getting them?"

Hen grins at him. "Flowers for Tommy?"

"You think it's too corny?"

Buck feels the self-doubt creeping in, but Hen is shaking her head and patting the sofa next to her.

"Your man deserves some nice flowers. I'll send you the link."

So Buck sits down next to her, and they browse through a selection of bouquets. Some of them have special meanings, others just look beautiful.

"This one," he says and taps on a picture.

Sunflowers symbolize adoration, orange roses stand for fascination, desire and enthusiasm, the website explains. Plus Buck thinks the colors are fun.

"Good choice," Hen agrees while Buck looks for the fastest delivery option.

A little over two hours later - the q-word shift is still so q-word it's almost spooky - Buck's phone rings.

"You sent me flowers," Tommy says in lieu of a greeting. He sounds so perplexed it automatically makes Buch grin.

"Hey, how is your shift going?"

"You sent me flowers," Tommy repeats.

"I did," Buck confirms. "Did you like them?"

"Evan."

"That's my name. Did I break you?" Out of the corner of his eye Buck can see that Hen is laughing quietly.

"Nobody ever buys me flowers." Tommy sounds amazed. "I don't know anything about flowers. I'm not sure I even own a vase."

Buck can't help it, he giggles. "I'm sure you can put them in a bucket and take that home with you."

The line is silent for a moment. "Evan, they are beautiful, I can't just put them into a bucket."

"You put them in a bucket, and next time we see each other I'm bringing a vase. Deal?"

"Deal," Tommy agrees, and Buck can hear his smile. "Might take me until Friday though."

"Friday then," Buck confirms. "Miss you, stay safe."

"You too, Evan."

Buck ends the call, opens his browser again and bookmarks the flower shop. Then he goes back to the website that suggested lingerie. Who says he needs to be a woman to surprise his boyfriend with that?

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Yeah yeah yeah tommy's letting buck set the pace but it's he who does it. It's tommy who says I love you first. Buck is scared, a little, or at least overthinking it. He remembers how he rushed moving in with Taylor, trusted Natalia too quickly, loved Abby too intensely. He's waiting for.... well, he's waiting to make sure tommy is in this as much as he is.

And tommy, well tommy is being fucking patient and it's driving him nuts. He wants to be respectful and let buck set the pace, but he knows almost immediately that buck is it for him. At 45, he has a string of failed relationships and a lifetime of regrets behind him. He no longer wants to wait and beat around the bush - they say "when you know, you know," and tommy knows.

But months pass, and nothing. Not even a whisper of those three words tommy so desperately wants to hear. And then his birthday arrives. Tommy walks through the doors to his home after a shift, ready to throw his bag down and relax. He and Buck have plans to celebrate in a few days when their days off align, so tommy isn't planning on celebrating. But when he enters his living room after chucking off his LAFD jacket, he finds Buck, standing and waiting with a huge smile on his face and a balloon in his hand.

"Happy birthday, babe," Buck says as a greeting.

Tommy walks into Buck's arms, accepting the hug he is given. He's flabbergasted and stunned speechless. Buck hands him a giftbag, and he opens it. Inside are some of his favorite things. A box of earl grey tea, a book about military choppers, two cans of lime la croix, a giant snicker's bar, and a bag of seasoned pretzels.

"This isn't your full present yet," Buck explains. "I know we're celebrating later, but I couldn't let today go by without...."

He's unable to finish because Tommy sets down the bag, takes Buck's face in his hands, and kisses him. When he pulls back, he stares at his boyfriend's face in awe. "I love you," he says.

His heart catches in his throat. He didn't mean to say it out loud - the words just slipped out. But his terror is short lived when he notices that Buck is not as freaked out as he is; in fact, he's not freaked out at all.

Buck's face is full of relief, and he smiles. "I love you too," he responds, and pulls him in for another kiss.

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When Bobby and Athena find a new place to live, they throw a big housewarming party. It's a potluck. Everybody brings food, plus kitchen utensils and household items.

For some reason Tommy feels like he's intruding on something that should be for the 118 only. He loves how close all of them are, and he hopes to become a part of this family in time, but he's not yet. Still, Tommy appreciates the invitation, and he's having a great time hanging out with everybody.

It's a warm evening, and most of the guests end up in the garden. At some point Evan tells him: "It's not my sister's wedding, but you still owe me that dance."

So they dance. And dancing turns into just swaying to the rhythm of the music, holding each other close. Tommy's not really a dancer, but it's fun with the right partner, and Evan feels very right.

Tommy can't get enough of him. His smile, his eyes. His sense of humour and how invested he gets. The way he's kind but doesn't take any shit. His kisses. This dance. Tommy is drunk on Evan Buckley, and it feels magical.

The spell breaks when a fast upbeat song starts to play. Evan lets go of him with a quick kiss and wanders into the house to get more food.

Tommy takes a quick look around, hoping to spot Eddie, only to realise that Athena is watching him. She holds up a glass of wine like she's offering an invitation, and Tommy walks over to her.

"So, you planning on sticking around?" Athena asks with a raised eyebrow. She's kind of scary when she wants to be, Tommy notices.

"As long as he'll have me," he answers honestly.

"Good. I thought that might be the case." Athena hands him the wine. "Your man probably has his head in the fridge right now and is pretending not to eat the last of the tiramisu."

And Tommy laughs and thinks he could do this forever.

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I think it would be fun if Buck had the completely wrong idea about Tommy's house.

As the audience we know Tommy is probably a bit of a movie nerd and a romantic. But Buck has heard things like 'carlift' and 'Muay Thai setup in the garage' from Eddie.

He probably expects something like an XXL mancave.

But what if he finds a small cluttered house with the most comfortable couch ever? Shelves full of movies, with a weird mix of action, rom coms and arthouse. Books about the history of aviation, weird trinkets from all over the world, small vintage car models. Maybe a framed art nouveau poster of Prince that screams gay but went straight over Eddie's head.

I'd love to see Buck's face as he takes it all in and decides he likes it better than what he expected.

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The first cup of coffee is a guess. A splash of milk, a little bit of sugar, Buck thinks he can't go too wrong with that.

And Tommy looks into the cup before he takes that first sip, so presumably the milk is not a complete no-go or he wouldn't have needed to try it. So it's either too sweet or not sweet enough.

Buck can work with that.

*

The second cup of coffee has no sugar at all, just a little bit of milk. Tommy raises an eyebrow and looks at him like he knows exactly what Buck is up to. It's doing things to Buck's lizard brain that have nothing to do with coffee at all.

*

Coffee number #3 is milky and sweet, and Buck presents it to Tommy with a confident flourish because he's sure he figured it out. Except that Tommy takes a sip, shakes his head and grins that dorky grin.

After that it's on.

*

Maybe Buck loses his mind a little bit between the iced caramel latte and the coffee sweetened with honey.

"You can just ask," Tommy points out, but he's smirking again like this is peak comedy.

Buck glares at him and starts making a list.

*

"Will you put him out of his misery, please?" Chimney groans when Tommy stops by the firehouse. "He has a spreadsheet. Seriously, we're going to ban coffee. Make it stop."

Buck throws a pen at him. "Good things take time, and I like to figure out all the little things that make Tommy... well, Tommy."

Everybody gets weirdly quiet suddenly, and Tommy smiles in a way that makes Buck's heart ache. Like he can't believe anybody would make an effort just because of him.

*

Hot chocolate with a double shot of espresso is a hit, but still not right, and the tea is an outright no. But now asking feels like there's a limit to how much time he's willing to spend on getting to know Tommy, and that's the last message Buck wants to send.

*

"Do you know Tommy's coffee order?" Buck asks Eddie.

His best friend laughs like the traitor he is. "Yes, because I asked, like a normal person."

"I don't want him to think I've given up."

Eddie rolls his eyes. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but you two idiots are made for each other. You don't want to give up? That man has been drinking bad coffee for weeks now, just for you. That has to be true love."

Oh.

Oh.

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#let’s play: correct or incorrect quote (1/?)