akshaybal - Tumblr blog

[akshaybal]

My Last Puff

There have been few instances in life when something has profoundly touched me, altering my very essence. Rare are the moments when I’ve contemplated the meaning of existence, feeling overwhelmed and disheartened by the surrounding chaos, much like Arjuna in the epic tale. And rarer still are the times when a guide, akin to Krishna, has emerged to illuminate my path. Though such profound encounters are not common, they are crucial for gaining a deeper understanding of life. Four years ago, I was profoundly influenced by someone who shifted the course of my life, leading me to explore the depths of existence. Now, the time has come to part ways with the soul who guided me.I no longer would think of you.Not everyone finds a mentor who can pinpoint their mistakes; I was lucky to have one. Today, I express my gratitude for the lessons learned, especially the realization of my own fallibility and the importance of shedding ego, embodying Shiva as I scatter its ashes around me. Today marked the end of an era as I smoked my last cigarette. While the final puff brought a temporary pause to my thoughts, it symbolically incinerated the remnants of my ego. I am grateful beyond words for the enlightenment you have unknowingly bestowed upon me. What began as romance has evolved into devotion. Farewell, and live well.

[akshaybal]

In the silence of detachment, the quest for essence begins

Life, in all its complexity, has been a rollercoaster of emotions for me, oscillating between joy and sorrow across various aspects such as family, finances, and social interactions. This journey has led to a profound realization: the ephemeral nature of these experiences. Recognizing that what once seemed insurmountable is, in reality, minor, has shifted my perspective. It's as if my mind, akin to a biased neural network, has historically misallocated significance to different events. This awareness has nudged me towards a desire to detach from the relentless sway of emotions, acknowledging their transient essence. Whether it's the grief of loss, the joy of achievement, or the fleeting highs of indulgence, their temporary state has become apparent. This logical discernment has encouraged a detachment from the constant, often overwhelming, emotional noise. In the quietude that follows, a deeper inquiry into existence begins. Stepping back from my emotions has sparked a rigorous internal dialogue, filled with existential contemplations about identity and purpose. While my silence might be misconstrued as intoversion by others, it's actually a reflection of an intense inner exploration, a quest for understanding the very essence of being.