aitathrowawaylmao

[aitathrowawaylmao]

@bonbongiveshell hi, I'm OP, and I just want to say that E is somebody I have repeatedly tried to get rid of, which is why my question was whether or not I was TA for losing my temper, because I can't help her or stop talking to her. I would never and actually have never kept somebody as a friend of mine just to direct my anger at them; that is so unbelievably cruel no matter how bad my anger issues may have been or are. I just wanted to clear this up because I must've not been clear enough about the fact that I'm trying not to hurt E at all, I try my best despite failing a lot. There's more info under the cut (I felt compelled to explain myself sorry cause the ask was sent like weeks ago 😭)

E will sabotage my schoolwork and my grades, and I actually have no idea how I've escaped somewhat unscathed with the amount of times I've lost my temper. If you don't count the knife thing. I always apologize except for that time after the attempted theft. I know she will destroy things because I have witnessed her try it and told her to fuck off. Once I was in the classroom hiding during PE and she came in to pour water onto my classmates' bags because they'd gotten into an argument with me. I was pretty upset because of that argument and I'd lost it, yelling at her not to destroy other people's property and since I was the only one who stayed behind, I would be blamed.

Moreover, I tried multiple times to flat out tell her not to speak to me: one notable instance was when she showed porn to me in school and I told her that was disgusting, so she apologized and did it again and I ignored her for a week. Without me to harass, E directed everything to J to the point where J was overwhelmed. Like I said, E hates the teachers and anything we say to those teachers about E needing help will be perceived as an attack. She will take action. It's a little ironic because she got J in trouble for a playful shove once while we're expected to let stealing, property damage, and being impolite slide.

Currently I am not talking to E, so she's diverted her attention and energy to cracking inappropriate pornographic jokes with (at?) teachers and other classmates. J and I have come up with an ultimatum to give to her, with R ready to become involved if needed, but we have to wait because I'm stuck in a group project with E and I don't want her to tank our grades just to get back at me. Lord save me 😭😭

Just another example of her uncooperative behavior, I once was doing a live dissection for biology (group of 5) and E had ignored my time sensitive instructions for the specimen and destroyed it while I was holding the scalpel, and it was just not a great time. I did not physically harm her but what I said was quite horrible. I apologized profusely. All of us had to redo it and got a deduction. For this, I was most definitely the asshole, but I didn't like her behavior either.

To everybody who thinks E has undiagnosed issues, she almost certainly does. She has self diagnosed herself with OCD and anxiety and a bunch of other disorders, and whilst the validity of those self diagnoses isn't something I can really speak on, I have ADHD and I don't act like that. Plus she refuses any and all efforts on J, R, and my part to help her with her OCD or whatever her diagnosis du jour is. I really try to at least treat her seriously to her face no matter what I personally think. I agree that having a disorder is not an excuse for this kind of behavior, I'm just kind of stuck. Thank you for everybody who gave their thoughts I really appreciate it and sorry this got so long. If you want to ask anything else I'll try my best to answer? 😭

(And yes she says her mother is unhinged of the yelling and throwing things variety and her father is a doormat, and I really do sympathize, but she's also extremely lax with my money/property/stuff when I try to take her out for lunch or offer to have her sleep over)

AITA for repeatedly losing my temper at my kinda-friend? I (17F) have anger issues and I'm working on mitigating it, however, losing my temper always involves yelling and insulting people. Usually I think this is bad and apologize profusely when I lose control.

However, this kinda-friend (16F) who I'll call E, has absolutely no respect for other people's personal belongings, space, or time. She always grabs and plays with my things during class, or our mutual friend's items (16F), and as all three of us are artists, we carry around pretty expensive equipment. (Think Micron ink pens, Winsor & Newton paint, Derwent pencils, etc., just as reference. Thankfully no Copics lmao.)

The mutual friend will be referred to as J.

So, E has been told by both of us to stop taking our art supplies and playing with it, to the point where I'll yell sometimes, and she absolutely refuses to listen to us. She'll claim that she's forgotten what we've told her and put down the item just for her to pick it up again five seconds later. The problem is that she sometimes breaks these items or injures us - she'll play with my x-acto blade and cut me, or break J's graphite pencils, or push my watercolor palette off the desk. I've really tried to be patient about it, but it's proving to be difficult.

J is quite soft spoken, so I end up doing most of the reprimanding. E also brings up inappropriate topics that make J and I uncomfortable, as well as disturbing us when we're busy and then sulking when she doesn't get our immediate attention - once I told her three times to let me do my classwork before snapping, and E cried. She never does anything in school and hates all of our teachers, so she's pretty rude to them. All my work gets copied by her. She really annoys me, but I do feel terrible that I seem to lose control so often around E, since no one deserves to be yelled at.

However, this all came to a peak today when R (16M) and I won prizes for winning a mini-game and asking an interesting question during a seminar at school respectively; the gift was a black notebook that I didn't even like, which is an important tidbit to keep in mind. R left his gift still wrapped in his bag when he left the classroom for break time, so it was just J, E, and myself in there. Upon seeing what I had unwrapped, E went to R's bag and opened it - since all four of us are friends, we thought E was just being "jokingly" invasive as usual and were on alert, but didn't stop her.

J asked what she was doing and E said she was grabbing the gift out of R's bag. This caught my attention, so I asked why she was doing that. E told us that she wanted the book, and when J reminded her that the gift was, in fact, not hers, E said (and I wish I was kidding because this is replaying in my head in 4K HD right now like oh my god pls) "I know. It should be mine." Had she asked for my notebook, I would've given it up happily. I've got too many empty sketchbooks and notebooks at home.

I immediately stood up, but allowed J to handle the situation because I didn't trust myself not to react violently. J eventually lost her temper too and that's when I jumped in and started my yelling routine. I always feel bad whenever I do this, because it's not something I enjoy, but in this particular situation I just can't muster up the guilt? E is extremely irritating, but she tells us she has a horrible home life, so I try to be understanding. Except this was just completely intolerable. R even said that he'd predicted this would happen and to just give her the damn notebook - I vetoed that so we wouldn't enable E.

I really don't know if my reaction was overblown because I shouted a lot and said things like "you were given a brain - use it" and "you're a terrible person with no morals". It's ridiculous to say all that because it's (at the end of the day) high school drama, but I really can't understand why she acted that way. I don't know if I'm in the wrong in this situation. I wish she would listen when we tell her nicely not to do something, but even when I was blowing up at her, she was just smiling as if it was a joke. Should I apologize? I've apologized before when I lost my temper, but I have completely lost all will to be civil with her after this. The teachers are tired too - when she disappears from class or talks back, they just let her be. We can't really go to them because she'll feel betrayed and then get mad at us, which is a whole ordeal, because she's known to destroy and sabotage other people's items because of a grudge.

This is really lengthy. I apologize. I just feel terrible about the situation because I don't feel any guilt for my anger like I probably should. So, AITA?

What are these acronyms?