aidokoga

[aidokoga]

toss your dirty shoes in my washing machine heart

baby, bang it up inside. 

...

why not me?

(read below the cut)

Tsumugi adored Eichi and his presence. If Tsumugi was an insignificant sprig of grass, Eichi would be the sun that he would look up to, all that Tsumugi would worship and adore, the very thing that kept him alive.

That's why Tsumugi gazed lovingly at Eichi as the latter slept soundly beside him, his hands reaching out to brush some of Eichi's blond locks out of his face. He stirred in his sleep and Tsumugi stilled, fearing that his movements had awakened the other. He heaved a soft sigh of relief as Eichi's eyes remained closed and his breathing stilled.

This wasn't the first time they had spent the night like this, side by side, sleeping together in the bed. Eichi always commented on how warm Tsumugi was and how his body temperature was just right for Eichi's perpetually cold body.  This wasn't the first time Eichi had thrown himself onto Tsumugi after a particularly intense disagreement with Wataru. 

This happened every time Eichi and Wataru had arguments or disagreements, they would argue, and then Eichi would come seeking comfort from Tsumugi, and he would kiss Tsumugi, spend a few lovely days together, and return to Wataru once he found it in himself to forgive Wataru. Rinse and repeat.

All the more Tsumugi tried to commit the image of Eichi's loving gaze, the visual of his peaceful sleeping face, the softness of his lips against Tsumugi's, every time he called Tsumugi’s name with that sweet voice of his and more. Tsumugi had to commit all of these to his brain, engrave it into every crevice of his mind, and make sure that he would remember it all vividly forever, because, as much he hoped, wished and prayed, Eichi will never be his. 

Eichi’s heart already belonged to someone else, Tsumugi was just the rebound guy that he would go to when he was upset with his partner, and he would use Tsumugi as a stand-in for Wataru to comfort himself. Tsumugi loved him, loved him with all his heart and soul, but he would never return the same feelings, he would never love Tsumugi the way he loved Wataru. 

Sometimes Tsumugi wished that things could have had a different outcome. Maybe in another timeline Eichi would pine for him just as Tsumugi did, or maybe in another timeline they would be happily married and settled down into an idyllic life, just the both of them in each other’s company. But these were just daydreams with a man who never loved him, imaginary lives that would never come to be. 

At least, until the sun rises, Eichi will be his, and his heart will forever be with Eichi. As long as Eichi has a use for Tsumugi, he would be happy to give his all to Eichi. He would bend over backwards, heck, if Eichi asked, Tsumugi would be happy to give his life, if it meant that Eichi would be happy. 

Anything for Eichi, anything for the man he loved.

[aidokoga]

navillera

they were each other’s first everything. first love, first kiss, first date.

(read under the cut)

The first “I like you” and “I love you” uttered between the both of them were after a practice session, when Koga and Adonis stayed behind to clean up the practice room. 

Adonis had sought out advice from Arashi on how exactly he should go about confessing his romantic feelings. The blonde stared at Adonis before gushing about all sorts of things, even trying to guess who was the one that had stolen the boy’s heart. 

“Is it Koga-chan? From your unit? Oh my god, it is, right?” Arashi exclaimed, and Adonis couldn’t fight the flush that settled on his cheeks. He felt a little lightheaded, a dizzying feeling rising from the pit of his stomach at the mere mention of Koga’s name. Adonis opened his mouth to speak, but he couldn’t really make out any words to say.

“To be honest, it was obvious from how much you stare at him during class~” Arashi mused. She then proceeded to ask question after question, saying things like, “When did you realise you liked him?”, “What exactly do you like about him?”, or “The both of you look so cute together as is!” and Adonis, ever the patient one, earnestly answered each and every one of her questions with honest answers. Once Arashi felt as though she had gotten enough juicy information from Adonis, she gave the boy advice on how to confess. Adonis listened attentively, making sure he wouldn’t miss out on any important information. “Ultimately, as long as you’re honest about your feelings, it will go well.” Arashi smiled. “Just be yourself! That is better than any other advice I can give you.” Adonis nodded before thanking his clubmate for her time. 

“I can just hope that it goes well.” Adonis remarked. 

“Mmh, I’m sure it will be fine! Good luck, Adonis-chan~” 

The setting sun that day casted the sky in a brilliant orange colour. It made Adonis feel warm, a fuzzy feeling blossoming in his chest, giving him the confidence he needed to take the first step in confessing his feelings towards his unitmate, his best friend. 

It was Adonis who first said it, his voice shaking ever so slightly despite him mentally giving himself a pep talk beforehand. He grabbed Koga’s arm, causing the other boy to turn back to look at him. Koga tilted his head, opening his mouth to start questioning Adonis when the taller boy blurted out, “I like you, Oogami.”

Koga blinked, before giving Adonis a smile. “I like ya’ too, we’re best buddies aren't we?” Koga exclaimed at Adonis, and Adonis didn't know whether to just forget it or to just burst into tears.

His lips moved faster than his brain worked. “I mean, in a more-than-friends way.” Adonis stated in a matter-of-fact manner. “I’m in love with you…” His face felt hot, and his voice trailed off but he made sure his expression remained firm. He could at least look confident, even if he did not feel like it. 

Koga silently stared at Adonis, his face getting redder as the seconds ticked by. He seemed to be slowly absorbing the sentence, and the more he lets it sink in, the more flustered he starts to get. Koga averted his eyes, because he felt as though if he continued to look into Adonis’ eyes he would just spontaneously combust.

Adonis let go of Koga’s arm. He was the first one to speak up, breaking the silence between them. “I’m sorry if it made you uncomfortable, you can just forget-” 

“Shut up!” Koga blurted out. “You…you just confessed to me, didn’t ya!” He continued, feeling his cheeks heat up. “I wasn’t uncomfortable or whatever with what you said, so don’t just go decidin’ what I’m feelin’ for me!” 

Adonis blinked. Koga took a step forward, getting closer to the other boy. He made eye contact with Adonis, opening his mouth to say, “I like you too. In the same way you do.” Adonis’ heart pounded against his chest, almost as if it was going to jump out of his chest. But he was happy. He wasn’t anxious or nervous like he was just moments ago, he was relieved and elated.

“Oogami…” Adonis started, moving closer to Koga, to the point where there wasn’t any space between their bodies. “Are…are you serious? Do you really…“ 

“Yes! Do I look like the type to, I dunno, lie about my feelings or somethin’ stupid like that…” Koga cut Adonis off, making eye contact with him after what felt like an eternity. Adonis could tell that Koga was blushing and flustered, his rosy cheeks told Adonis as much. 

“I love you.” Adonis smiled, he was beaming, Koga could practically see the rays of sun around his face. “Can I hug you?” He asked politely, watching as Koga mumbled a soft “Yea” and nodding. Love bloomed in Adonis’ chest and threatened to spill out of his body. He wanted to give Koga every praise under the sun, kiss every blemish on his skin, and give him all the love the world has to offer, but for now, he just wrapped his arms around Koga’s frame. Koga nuzzled into Adonis’ neck, moving his arms to wrap around Adonis’ body and closing his eyes as he felt Adonis gently rest his chest on top of his head. 

The shorter boy mumbled something into Adonis’ neck, and though Adonis didn’t properly hear what it was, he could make out words like “love” and “too”. It was easy to piece together what Koga was saying. (He was reciprocating Adonis’ words, saying a quiet “I love you too.”) 

Adonis thought he couldn’t love Koga more than he already did, but at that moment, his heart swelled with boundless love for the boy he was embracing, so much love that it is unable to be contained within his body so he spills it all out by squeezing Koga tighter. 

Koga made a wheezing sound. “Ya squeezing the life out of me! Loosen up a bit!” He yelled. Adonis quickly let Koga go, worried that he may have unintentionally hurt Koga. “I’m sorry, I got carried away…Are you okay?” Adonis spoke, his voice tinged with worry, his face full of worry. He looked like a sad puppy almost, Koga thought to himself. Endearing and cute, but it’s also a heartbreaking expression. Koga didn’t like that. “ ‘m fine! Just don’t squeeze so tight next time, or else you’re gonna like, suffocate me!” Koga said. “ ’S not like I’m gonna fly or slip away or somethin’ like that..” His voice trailed off, realising how embarrassing the words coming out of his mouth were. His cheeks heat up for the nth time that day. “We still have to clean up the practice room! Let’s get this done with so we can get the fuck out of here.” 

Koga turned around to carry on the task he was previously doing. “And we can, uhm, grab dinner together, y’know, before heading home.” 

Adonis blinked, before smiling and picking up a broom, the promise of a dinner with Koga seeming to motivate him to get his task done as soon as possible. 

(Arashi demanded to find out the results of Adonis’ confession the next time they met. Adonis tried his best to keep details vague.) 

——

Their first kiss happened after a particularly passionate performance, shortly after the confession. It was an extremely hyper performance, all of UNDEAD went all out. The presence on stage was at an all time high, the four of them singing their hearts out, singing, performing like the world was going to end. Passion seeped through every pore of their bodies that night, and adrenaline was pumped in their veins. 

When the live had reached its end, Koga and Adonis were ushered into their shared dressing room. The high from the adrenaline rush on stage had yet to dissipate, Koga felt like a firework that hadn’t finished showing off its colours to everyone, like a big blazing flame that was yet to be put out. 

Maybe that was what pushed Koga to push against Adonis, his arms pressed against Adonis’ chest, pressing his lips against Adonis’, tasting the flavour of the other boy’s chapstick. Adonis froze up, he wasn’t sure what to do, but he wrapped his arms around Koga’s body and kissed Koga back, not quite matching Koga’s roughness and haste, but no less passionate in his own regard. The kiss started out messy, their teeth clacking together, but it eventually settled into something gentler, something more intimate. 

Koga’s lips were chapped, dry, a far cry from Adonis’ soft ones but it was perfect. Adonis thought everything about him, even his flaws, was perfect. They made Koga the person he is, the person he loved. They parted after a while, both of them panting, gasping for some relief amidst the passionate, heated moment. 

Koga was the first one to move, he got off of Adonis, his cheeks rosy, though Adonis couldn’t tell if it was because they had just had their first kiss or if it was because of the temperature in the dressing room. Koga cleared his throat. “Sorry for just kissin’ you like that without askin’ first.” He spoke softly, his tone apologetic. “It just kinda…felt right. Y’know, heat of the moment kinda thing.” 

Adonis gave a small smile. For some reason, it was heartwarming to him that Koga kissing him felt right. It felt like a natural inclination for the other boy when he was high from the adrenaline pumping in his veins. “It’s okay. You don’t have to ask to kiss me, Oogami.” Adonis spoke softly. “Because you are my boyf-” Koga quickly jumped, swiftly bringing his mouth to Adonis’ mouth, muffling his voice. If Koga’s cheeks were rosy after they had kissed, then this time his face was bright red. His golden eyes were wide and he looked incredibly flustered. The words ‘endearing’ and ‘cute’ bounced around in his head to describe how Koga looked at that very moment. 

“Not so loud! What if..other people walked past and heard you?” He exclaimed. “I can’t even begin to imagine what that damn vampire would say. Or, worse,” Koga visibly shivered. “Hakaze…senpai.” The last name was said through gritted teeth. Koga backed away from Adonis, bringing his hands up to ruffle his own hair. 

“Ugh!! It’s terrifying just thinkin’ ‘bout it…!” He yelled in frustration. Adonis moved closer to Koga, gently rubbing the small of Koga’s back. Koga relaxed into Adonis’ touch, though he was still grumbling under his breath. 

“I apologise. I’ll mind my volume in the future.” Adonis spoke softly, and Koga turned around to face him. He stared at Adonis for a few seconds before averting his gaze again. 

“So how was it?” He asked, his voice small and quiet. The blush from just now never dissipated but rather than from embarrassment, this time it was because he was flustered. “The kiss…I meant.” He added, just in case he was not being clear in his initial question. 

“I thought it was nice…You tasted like mint.” Adonis answered, a gentle smile gracing his features. “I liked the kiss. It did feel right.” 

Koga grumbled something under his breath, looking away, because if he kept on staring at him, he might just spontaneously combust on the spot, especially after everything Adonis just said. 

A knock on the door was heard, shocking the pair, Koga jumped out of Adonis’ arms and he turned to the door. A soft female voice spoke. “Adonis, Koga, are you both okay? There was a lot of noise and you have been in there for a long time…” Anzu asked, probably worried that the both of them may have fallen down or something to that effect. 

“We’re fine!” Koga answered loudly. “We…just knocked some stuff over! We’re still a lil’ hyperactive from the performance.” 

Anzu was silent for a moment. “Okay. Just be careful, you shouldn’t be getting hurt.” She spoke. 

“Mhmm, yep we will be careful! You go do ya own thing, we’ll get dressed and be out in a bit!” Koga responded. Anzu stayed silent for a bit, seemingly hesitant. She made a small sound of acknowledgement. Adonis and Koga watched under the door as her shadow slowly disappeared from the door. 

Koga visibly and audibly heaved a huge sigh of relief. “We should…probably actually get dressed.” Adonis spoke, after Koga calmed himself down. The other boy looked at him, his cheeks still slightly pink, before he nodded and straightened himself up. 

When they had gotten dressed and met up with the rest, Koga could’ve sworn Kaoru gave a sort of look to Rei, who only smirked in response. Koga knew Rei catches onto things really quickly, it’s almost scary how observant he can be sometimes, but there was no way they already knew! Koga was just overthinking. 

(They already knew.)

——

The first time Adonis had to leave for another country due to his solo activities was right around Christmas. Koga had been the one to send Adonis off at the airport. Koga was never one for public displays of affection, even if they hugged or held hands in public, it would end as soon as it had started. “I just don’t want people to…say things.” was what Koga would always say. And he was right, the both of them were idols with an image to uphold and project, and a fanbase to cater to. What would the media say if they were caught in an intimate embrace? How will their fans react? What will Anzu need to do to clean up the mess they created?

But when they hugged in the airport, Koga hugged a little tighter, stayed in Adonis’ arms a little longer. Almost as if he was afraid that once he lets go, Adonis will disappear, like a fleeting touch, a touch that lasts for a split second, or like dust in the wind. Adonis liked it, he felt like that was Koga’s way to tell him to stay. “Just a little while longer.” and “I wished you didn’t have to go.” were sentiments that were not expressed verbally, but conveyed through Koga’s actions. 

Koga had begrudgingly let go, and he nuzzled his face into his own scarf, one that Adonis had lovingly got for him. They both stayed silent, watching each other’s breaths in the winter air. Adonis was the first one to break the silence.

“I’ll be back in two weeks.” He spoke and Koga scoffed, mumbling a quiet “I know that, stupid.” 

“Take care of yourself, okay! I don't want you to return to me injured or somethin’, get it! If you do, I’ll beat ya ass.” Koga grumbled. Though his words were harsh, Adonis knew they held no real weight. ‘Return to me’, Koga had said, Adonis realised. Not ‘return here’ or even ‘return to us’. ‘To me.’ Adonis felt a warm fuzzy feeling erupt from his chest.

“I know, I will be sure to take good care of myself, you won’t have to worry.”

“Tch, who said I was worried?” Koga scoffed, insistent on keeping his tough guy act up. “The plane’s leavin’ soon. You should go before you really miss your flight.” 

“Oh, you’re right. Goodbye then, Oogami. See you in two weeks.” Adonis smiled, before turning around and rushing away to catch his flight. Koga fidgeted a little, watching as Adonis’ figure got smaller and smaller as he departed. He let out one last huff, before turning around and leaving the airport. 

In the days to come, he diligently counted the days until Adonis would return, but like hell, would he let anyone find out, not Rei, not Kaoru, and especially not Adonis. He would just straight up die if anyone were to ever find out just how much Koga, the lone wolf of UNDEAD, actually misses his boyfriend. And he didn’t just miss Adonis, Koga thought about Adonis at every waking hour. From the moment he opened his eyes to the moment his head hit the pillows, not a minute passes where Koga didn’t think about Adonis, even if it was just a fleeting thought. Even after long calls with Adonis, sometimes video calls where Koga could clearly see Adonis’ hotel room, Koga would still find himself longing to hear more of Adonis’ voice, wishing to see more of Adonis’ face, wanting to be as close to Adonis as physically possible. 

As the fateful day drew closer, Koga found himself unable to sleep, constantly tossing and turning in his bed at night, to the point where Leon had to move from sleeping with Koga on his bed, to sleeping on the floor. Tatsumi even had to ask if Koga was alright, in the middle of the night. 

He felt helpless, and was more moody than usual. If this was what it would be like every time Adonis was not around, he would rather Adonis just never leave his side. But he couldn’t be so selfish. Koga was not the only person who needed Adonis. UNDEAD needed Adonis, his family needed Adonis, the track club needed Adonis. There was an entire world that needed Adonis, Koga could not just keep Adonis forever to himself, no matter how hard he tried or wished. What he could do, however, was channel all these negative feelings into the only form of art he knew — music. So that’s exactly what he did, fingers strumming his electric guitar, alone in the practice room where Adonis and Koga would practice together after school. 

When Adonis landed, Koga was the first person he saw at the airport. Koga held out his arms when he spotted Adonis, inviting him into a warm, inviting embrace. Adonis had nearly dropped everything right then and there just to rush into Koga’s arms. Adonis squeezed Koga tightly, just like he had when they first confessed, except this time Koga did not protest. He simply returned Adonis’ squeeze, he was just happy to be back in Adonis’ arms once again. 

Maybe Koga could allow himself to be selfish, even just for a short while, before the world calls for Adonis once again. “...Do you want to sleep with me in my dorm tonight? Kazehaya-senpai won’t be back until sunrise…” He asked in a quiet voice, as they walked back to ES, hand in hand.

Adonis could feel his heart flutter as his chest filled with love threatening to combust. “Yes…Also I have a question, if you don’t mind me asking.” 

“Shoot.”

“Did you miss me? At all?” 

Koga’s cheeks flared red, and he averted his eyes away from Adonis’. “No. Why would I miss you? We called almost every day.” He scoffed, holding his head up high. He had an image to project, and if Koga didn’t tell him the truth, Adonis would be none the wiser. 

“Sakuma-senpai was texting me…” Adonis spoke, and Koga whipped his head around to just stare straight at Adonis, his eyes wide. “He told me a lot of things.”

“About what?” Koga asked, his voice unusually higher pitched. “What did he tell you about?” 

“About UNDEAD’s activities for the past two weeks.” Adonis said. “And about you.” 

Koga could feel the temperature rise, despite it still being winter. “W-What? ‘M gonna kill that fucking vampire!” Koga chided, beginning to list out ways he would make sure Rei suffers for the rest of his living life. 

Adonis smiled, and he just held up Koga’s hand, pressing a soft kiss to it. “If it makes you feel better, I miss you a lot too.” Adonis softly spoke. Koga looked away, feeling as though if he were to look at Adonis he would just explode on the spot. 

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” He huffed, and continued walking towards their intended destination, hands still interlocked with Adonis’. 

Deep down, Koga knew it wasn’t just whatever, but he couldn’t exactly pinpoint what he was feeling. Maybe it was relief that Adonis had missed him just as Koga had, maybe it was the thought that whenever Koga thought about Adonis, the other boy was thinking the same about him. That made Koga’s stomach do flips, his heart beating with love, and he expressed that love by holding Adonis’ hand tighter. He hoped Adonis knew that he didn’t regard Adonis’ feelings as just ‘whatever’, he just could never find it in himself to express his feelings with his words. He hoped his actions were enough to tell Adonis that Koga did miss him a lot, as much as, if not more than Adonis did. 

The both of them woke up the next morning to Koga’s alarm, their limbs tangled with one another. Leon was also bouncing on the bed and licking their faces. Koga was the first one to get up from the bed, moving to prepare Leon’s food while Adonis continued to slumber. He looked so peaceful, sleeping so soundly, Koga thought. Koga wondered what Adonis was dreaming about. Maybe he was dreaming about having a barbeque, or maybe he was dreaming about performing with UNDEAD. Koga liked to think Adonis was dreaming about the both of them, living together with Leon, an idyllic existence away from idol life. Adonis seemed like the type to want to live a normal life once he settled down, Koga thought. 

Koga wasn’t quite sure what he wanted after he were to settle down with Adonis, but for now, he’s just focused on his career, on his music, and as long as Adonis is there with him every step of the way, he would be okay with anything. 

—— 

They celebrated their first anniversary by going to a summer festival. Adonis was invited by Arashi. “You can totally bring Koga-chan along!” Arashi had excitedly suggested. “We’re all most likely going to split up anyways, you can go on a lovely date with him~” Adonis’ cheeks flushed pink at the mention of “Koga” and “date”, but he just answered with, “I’ll ask him.” 

Arashi giggled, “Alright~ Just give me an answer by the end of the week!” 

Koga scoffed at Adonis’ question, but he agreed, saying that he was only going just because he had nothing to do that day and it had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that Adonis had casually mentioned Arashi’s remarks and his mind was promptly going into overdrive just thinking about a summer festival date with Adonis. 

“Do I look fine?” Adonis asked Arashi for the nth time in that hour, dressed in a yukata that Souma had kindly helped him wear. He was anxious, constantly fiddling with his sleeves. 

The girl gave a heavy sigh. “You look just fine. Don’t worry, once Koga-chan comes he will be so enamoured with you that he won’t even be able to speak.” 

“Nngh, I think you look good, Otogari-kun.” Mika piped up. “All of us can agree on that, ain’t that right, Ayase-kun?” 

“H-Huh?” Mayoi gasped, shocked at the mention of his name. He took a short look at Adonis. “Uuu, Otogari-san looks great…” He shied away from Adonis’ gaze, opting instead to meekly peek from behind Mika. 

“See, we all agree that you look fine. So you don’t have to keep asking every minute!” Arashi exasperatedly remarked. 

“Adonis!” Koga’s voice called out, and Adonis promptly turned around towards the source of his voice. His eyes landed on Koga, who was also wearing a yukata, just as Adonis was. The both of them stared at each other in stunned silence, probably mentally gushing about how good the other person looked in a yukata. 

Arashi giggled. “Well now that Koga-chan is here, we’ll take our leave! Have fun~” She waved goodbye before walking off to the festival with Mika and Mayoi trailing behind her. Now it was only Koga and Adonis standing outside the festival, both of them silent as they tried to find the words to say to each other. You look amazing, Adonis wanted to say. Beautiful, gorgeous, stunning.

“You look amazing, Oogami.” Adonis complimented, and Koga just cleared his throat, running his hand through his hair. 

“You look amazin’ too.” Koga mumbled, realising that he has never really seen Adonis in a yukata before, and he wondered if he got any help with wearing it. Koga himself had to bite down on his pride, and asked Kaoru for help. And that blonde bastard had the balls to tease Koga! “Uwah, our little Koga-kun wants to look good for his boyfriend! How adorable~” Kaoru gushedHe did eventually help Koga with his yukata though. But just thinking about all that Kaoru said was enough to give him shivers. He’ll make sure Kaoru regrets ever teasing Koga later, but for now, he had a summer festival date with Adonis to look forward to. “Uh, we should get going! ‘M sure you wouldn’t wanna miss the fireworks later.” Adonis nodded, and held out his hand for Koga to hold. Koga blinked at his gesture, but before he could speak, Adonis piped up, “There’s a lot of people here, I don’t want to lose you.” Koga’s cheeks flared red. 

“Wha-! How can you just say things like that with a straight face?” Koga spluttered, flustered. Regardless, he still took Adonis’ hand and they walked together, hand in hand into the festival. 

The festival went by fast for both of them. Between blurs of buying snacks from the stalls and playing various games, all that really mattered was that both of them were having fun and enjoying themselves. They had found a quiet spot away from the festival, atop a hill where the fireworks could be seen in their full glory. Adonis had placed all the soft toys that they (mostly Koga) won from the games on the ground beside them. They even managed to snag a goldfish that Adonis said he was going to 

“Did you have fun today?” Adonis asked as Koga put a takoyaki into his mouth. 

“Yea, I had lots of fun.” Koga said, smiling as he picked up another takoyaki and bringing it towards Adonis’ mouth. Adonis opened his mouth to eat the takoyaki that the other boy had so lovingly offered. “What ‘bout you?” 

Adonis smiled. “I had fun too, thanks to you.”

“Tch.” Koga turned away from Adonis. Adonis fiddled with something, before pulling out two small keychains, one of a wolf and the other, a bear. 

“Why’d ya get those for?” Koga asked, watching as Adonis handed him the wolf keychain. 

“It just reminded me of us. You know, you’re the wolf and I’m the bear.” He answered. “I also…” He reached into his sleeve, before pulling out two plastic rings. “Today’s our first anniversary. And…I’m aware these rings are just toys, but I would love to get you an actual one someday, so stay with me at least until I can get you the actual ring.” He spoke, slipping the ring onto Koga’s left ring finger. Just then, the fireworks started, exploding in a beautiful array of colours in the sky.

Koga’s eyes stayed glued onto Adonis’ form, watching as the ring was put on his finger. The fireworks in the sky seemed to be exactly what he was feeling at that moment. The sounds of the fireworks in the background matched the sound of the pounding in his chest. 

“A-are you proposin’ to me right now?” Koga blurted out, his face flushing red. 

Adonis gave a small sound. “Did it..Did it seem that way?” he asked. 

“What kinda question is that? Yes, it did seem like you were proposing t’ me, otherwise I wouldn’t be askin’ you.” Koga chided. 

Adonis stayed silent for a while, still holding onto Koga’s hand. “Yes, I am proposing to you.” He spoke. “Would you like to spend the rest of your life with me, Oogami?” 

Koga could feel steam coming out of his ears at this point. How could Adonis look so calm when saying those words? Here Koga is, feeling as though he was just about to combust on the spot but Adonis just stared at him, an earnest look, awaiting Koga’s answer. 

“I want to have more anniversaries with you, go to sleep with you beside me and wake up with you beside me. I want to perform with you for the rest of my life, make more music with you. Even if you say no now, I’ll wait and stay by your side.” Adonis continued, still holding Koga’s hand. The sounds of the exploding fireworks were drowned out entirely by Adonis’ voice and Koga just takes in all of Adonis’ words. There was sincerity in his words that Koga wholeheartedly believed in. But more than that, he wanted the same things that Adonis did, he didn’t want this anniversary to be the last one they spend together. 

“I-”

“Stop.” Koga spoke. “Gosh, how can you say such…mushy things with a straight face like that…” He pulled back his hand from Adonis, holding it up to show him the ring that Adonis just put on him. “I let you put the ring on my finger, didn’t I? I think you already know the answer.” 

Adonis smiled, the kind of smile that would warm anyone’s heart. Koga’s heart made a leap. “I’m glad, Oogami.” He said. “I love you.” Koga took the other ring from Adonis, and now it was his turn to put the ring onto Adonis’ finger.

“I love you too.” Koga responded once he was done slipping the ring on, and they leaned closer into each other, pressing their lips together in a tender kiss, a seal to the agreement that they made that day, atop that hill. The fireworks painted a colourful backdrop behind them. They were each other’s firsts, first love, first date, first kiss, and now they will be each other’s forever and always, just as the rings that sit on their fingers signifies.

[aidokoga]

lucky

how lucky adonis was, to be in love with the most beautiful person he has ever laid his eyes on, and how lucky he was, that koga, too, was in love with adonis.

(read below the cut)

Adonis truly was the luckiest man to ever walk the Earth. 

He thought as he gazed at Koga, watching as the latter rambled on about his day, about how Sakuma-senpai (or “that Vampire Bastard!” as Koga always liked to call him) was infuriating him as always, about the food he ate and how they tasted. Adonis liked, no, loved Koga’s voice, so he was content just listening to Koga speak. 

Adonis thought Koga looked beautiful, especially with the setting sun behind him, acting like a halo, illuminating his silver hair and making his amber eyes burn brighter. It made him look prettier than ever, not that there was ever a moment when Koga didn’t look good but, god, Adonis would be content and happy with just staring at Koga for the rest of his life.

He thought about how lucky he was. How lucky that he was able to meet Koga, how lucky he was to be in the same unit as Koga, how lucky Adonis was to be in love with the most beautiful person he had ever laid his eyes on, and how lucky he was that Koga returned his feelings as well. 

Adonis had been so sure, back in their second year, that Koga couldn’t possibly return his feelings. It seemed so silly now, but back then it hurt Adonis to even think about Koga, somehow knowing, convincing himself that the latter would never think about Adonis in the same way. 

Koga felt- was unattainable to Adonis, someone to be loved and cherished from afar. Koga did not have time for love or crushes, he was too busy chasing his dreams of becoming the best idol there is. There was absolutely no way Koga would even view Adonis as anything more than a unitmate, Koga would never gaze at Adonis the same way he did.

/ 

“Sorry, I, uh, have to take Leon to the vet later today,” Koga blurted out, upon hearing Adonis’ question. “I would love to go for dinner with ya, I really do but Leon has been...uh...bein’ really off lately and I have to, uhm, get him checked!” 

Koga did not like lying, especially to Adonis of all people, but lately his best friend and unitmate had been sparking weird feelings and sensations within him that he is unable to comprehend properly. The thought of spending time alone with Adonis just made him feel extremely flustered, and his heart felt like it was going to burst out of his chest right then and there. 

Sometimes he would ask himself if Adonis’ lips were as soft as they looked and what they would feel like if they were pressed against his own, and then he would promptly snap himself out of his daze, cussing himself out for even having such obscene thoughts about his close friend. The feelings he had towards Adonis were most definitely platonic, he convinced himself, totally platonic. 

Adonis made a sound of disappointed acknowledgment. “Oh okay. I hope we can have dinner together soon, since we always practice until late anyways.” Adonis said, averting his eyes from looking at Koga as the latter quickly grabbed his bag. 

“Oh yea, same, me too.” Koga responded, feeling a little lost on how to answer as he reached for the door of the practice room. He paused, sparing one short glance at Adonis. “Yer worked hard today. Get some rest at home, see ya tomorrow, Adonis.” 

And then he left without waiting for Adonis’ answer, hoping that he had moved quick enough so that the other boy would not notice how red Koga’s face had become or how loudly his heart was pounding against his ribcage. As he walked away, Koga tried hard not to think about how dejected Adonis looked when he declined the dinner invitation, or how Adonis’ voice was tinged with disappointment and hurt and how that made Koga feel guilty and apologetic.

Koga just hoped that Adonis would not misunderstand him, but he was sure that Adonis would take it the wrong way and assume that Koga did not want to even be friends with Adonis anymore. Koga didn’t know if that was worse than the darkest depths of hell. 

Fuck, this isn’t fucking platonic at all. 

Koga rushed home. Hopefully playing with Leon will alleviate the hold Adonis had on his heart. 

(It didn’t.)

/ 

Koga liked him only platonically, Adonis was so sure of it. So when he came up with the plan to confess to Koga, he had expected to be rejected. He embraced the possible rejection, even welcoming it, because if Koga told Adonis that he did not love Adonis, that he had never viewed Adonis romantically, Adonis would maybe finally be able to let go of all these feelings he held for Koga.

The both of them had stayed back later to tidy up the light music club room after Undead’s practice session. It was already the evening, the sun was beginning to set, painting the sky a beautiful orange. Adonis figured that this was the perfect moment to confess, to quickly get this over with, so that the thought would not keep pestering him. Just a simple “I’m in love with you.” and he would have it done and over with. 

Needless to say, he was not expecting this kind of reaction from Koga. 

Koga stared at Adonis with wide eyes, his mouth slightly agape as he frantically searched his brain for the correct words and phrases. He looked almost as if he was malfunctioning. 

“Adonis, I need you to say that again, slower this time.” Koga finally spoke, his eyes looking at anywhere else but Adonis’ own amber eyes. 

Adonis tilted his head in confusion, because he was sure he had spoken at a volume that was audible for the other, or maybe Koga was so shocked that he needed to hear it again.

“Oogami, I’m in love with you.” Adonis said, slower, just as Koga asked. Koga closed his eyes, taking a deep breath, no doubt preparing to break the bad news to Adonis.

“Adonis, I need you to listen…carefully, okay?” Koga started, his eyes still refusing to meet Adonis’ ones although Adonis was dead set on keeping his eyes on Koga’s form. 

Did Koga’s cheeks look redder than usual? That has got to just be Adonis’ imagination. 

“I, uh, I think I love you too.” Koga spoke, uncharacteristically soft as he shifted his gaze to stare at the ground between them. “I mean, I am sure I’m in love with you...Ugh, this is so troublesome, I didn’t think ya would actually like me too.” 

Adonis felt his own cheeks begin to burn up as he absorbed Koga’s words. He moved closer to Koga, pushing the other boy closer to the window, his amber eyes still firmly on Koga. Adonis swore he could hear the sound of his own heartbeat ringing loudly in his ears, and the butterflies in his stomach were doing an entire dance routine at this point.

“Do you mean it?” Adonis asked, looking at Koga with an expectant look, eagerly awaiting a response. 

For the first time in what felt like forever, Koga looked into Adonis’ eyes. Adonis felt his heart swell and he somehow blushed even more under Koga’s gaze. 

“Of course I do! Do you think I’m the type to just lie to people about my feelings?” Koga exclaimed. Ah, Adonis could see it clearly now, Koga’s cheeks were indeed burning a bright red, just like his own. 

His heart swelled with love for Koga, feeling a heavy, looming weight lifting from his entire body as he slowly realised that this meant Koga had always been looking at Adonis the same way Adonis had, Koga had been thinking about Adonis in the same loving way that he had. 

“Can I...Can I hug you?” Adonis asked, body pressed close to Koga’s. Koga nodded, and Adonis slowly wrapped his arms around Koga’s frame, heaving a soft sigh as he felt Koga’s arms reaching around, wrapping themselves around Adonis’ own body. Adonis doesn't remember ever feeling more at ease. 

The setting sun casted a beautiful glow over the both of them, painting a portrait of two lovers in each other’s warm, comforting embrace. 

/

“What are ya thinking about?” Koga’s voice snapped Adonis back to reality, and he’s greeted with the sight of Koga standing up in front of him. 

“Oh, it’s nothing important.” Adonis answered, standing up from the ground and picking up his backpack. “I’ll tell you as we walk back to the dorms.”

“Tch.” Koga vocalised, walking beside Adonis, interlacing his hands with Adonis. “It must have been something, because you were just starin’ at me for a looong time.” He said, dragging out the word to put emphasis on exactly how long Adonis had spent just looking at Koga. 

Adonis smiled, giving Koga’s hand a light squeeze. “I was just thinking about when we confessed.” He answered. 

“Again? God, ya such a sap. That was like, a year ago!” Koga feigned exasperation. 

The rest of the walk back was filled with mindless chatter, but Adonis didn't mind, he was happy to be by Koga’s side. One thought lingered in his mind.

He truly was the luckiest man alive. 

[aidokoga]

my love lies with you

a morning spent in each other’s company.

(read under the cut)

The morning sun peeked through the curtains, shining directly on Adonis’ face as he stirred in his sleep, nuzzling his face closer into Koga’s back, pulling the other boy impossibly closer to him, tightening his arms around him. 

5 more minutes…Just 5 more minutes… 

Adonis argued mentally, wishing to continue staying with his sleeping boyfriend, to stay with his source of heat. In his dreams, they’re both laying on a soft and fluffy cloud, their limbs tangled with each other’s, breathing in each other’s scent…

The alarm rang out loudly, abruptly shocking Adonis out of his dream. Deciding to finally wake up, he slowly cracked his eyes open, carefully moving his arms, sitting up and reaching over Koga to their bedside dresser, disabling the alarm. Koga stirred under him, causing Adonis to cease his movements, worried that all this movement might have awoken Koga. 

Koga raised his hand up to his face, rubbing his eyes as he let out a yawn, turning over to face Adonis. “Nngh…Adonis…What time is it?” Koga asked, his voice slightly hoarse and deep, expected, seeing as he had just woken up. His hair, now longer than it had been since their high school days, splayed out around his face on the pillow, framing his face almost like a halo. He looked beautiful, Adonis thought. Like an angel sent by heaven, just for Adonis’ eyes.

“Oh…It’s…” Adonis answered, looking at the phone he was holding. “8:02am.” He finished, watching as Koga sat up beside him, stretching out his arms. 

“Mmh…” Koga hummed, moving closer to Adonis, wrapping his arms around Adonis’ body and pressing his face into Adonis’ arm. “Do we have anythin’ on for today?” He asked, his words slurred as his voice reverberated against the skin of Adonis’ arm.

Koga was cuddly and affectionate when he was tired which was definitely a shock to Adonis when he first found out. Someone who was, just moments before, energetic and loud, all of a sudden nuzzling into your body, wrapping their arms tightly around you as they drifted off to sleep. Adonis had to get used to it, but his heart blooms with love whenever Koga becomes like this, knowing that he trusted Adonis enough to show that side of him to Adonis. 

“Well…We don’t have anything in the morning and afternoon, but we have practice at 6 in the evening.” Adonis answered. “We can sleep in, if you want.” He added, bringing his other hand up to gently run his fingers through Koga’s grey locks. 

Koga grumbled, shaking his head. “Leon needs his walk...” He mumbled, nuzzling impossibly closer to Adonis. “We can’t sleep in…” 

“You don’t seem to want to get out of bed though.” Adonis remarked, smiling as he watched Koga swiftly turn his face to make eye contact, blushing as he unwrapped his arms from Adonis. 

“What…What are you sayin’...!” Koga spluttered, pushing himself away from Adonis as he felt his cheeks heat up. “That's not true! I was just tired…We just woke up…!” He rambled, attempting to justify the way he was acting just moments before. He looked and felt embarrassed. 

Adonis suppressed a chuckle to avoid further provoking his boyfriend. He moved the hand that had been tangled in Koga’s hair to gently caress his cheek, before leaning in to give Koga a soft peck on the lips. “I’m sorry for teasing you. You just looked too cute.” Adonis apologised as he pulled back from the kiss.

The blush slowly dissipated and Koga smiled smugly, saying, “Apology accepted~ But don't call me cute, alright!”. Koga gave Adonis a short peck before he moved away from Adonis and got off the bed. “I gotta go shower. You open the door and let Leon in.” He said, walking to their shared wardrobe, picking out some fresh clothes before making his way into the bathroom.

Adonis made a small sound of affirmation before getting out of bed as well. He stretched out his arms and let out a long sigh before making his way over to their bedroom door. He cracked it open and in came the little corgi. 

Leon excitedly jumped around Adonis, wagging his small tail, almost as if he was greeting the man in front of him an elated “Good morning!”. Adonis bent down and, almost immediately, Leon flopped down and laid on his back, waiting for Adonis to pat him, his short tail still wagging from side to side. He smiled before sinking his hand into Leon’s soft fur, stroking the dog’s belly and rubbing his hands all over Leon. 

Leon was just the most precious little thing, he had always liked Adonis from the get go, always coming up to ask for pats or bringing toys over to him, asking Adonis to play with him. “That means he approves of ya. You should be proud, Adonis!” Koga had said once, when Adonis brought up how Leon acted whenever he went around to the other boy’s apartment. 

Once he felt that he had pat Leon enough, Adonis got up and let Leon walk around the room. Leon was probably looking for his owner, Adonis thought as he moved over to the bed, beginning to fold the blanket that was, moments before,  wrapped around the two of them. 

Koga’s old apartment was cosy. It was just enough for Koga and Leon together, then he moved into the Starmony Dorms in his third year. Then Koga decided that he wanted to live with Adonis for the rest of his life, so once they graduated, they hauled ass and moved into a new apartment that was bigger, as well as close by to Ensemble Square, just for the ease of convenience. 

Koga had also decided to grow out his hair. For no reason in particular other than he wanted to change up his appearance since he was no longer a student and had graduated. A year had passed since then and while Adonis did not change much from then, Koga’s hair had obviously gotten longer. Koga looked the way he did back before Undead was even a thing, back when he was still just a clueless young boy, desperately chasing after Rei’s shadow, back when DEADMANZ was still alive and kicking. He looked like this when he first met Adonis as well. 

Maybe Adonis had forgotten how he looked when they first met, or maybe it was because Koga changed his appearance shortly after they had met, but Adonis never noticed how well long hair suited Koga, or how it nicely framed the boy’s features. Short hair looked good on him, but long hair suited him just as well. To be fair, more than anything, it kind of looked like a mullet, like Hakaze-senpai’s (“Do not compare me to him!” Koga would exclaim whenever anyone dared to remark on how similar their hair looked.). Either way it looked good on him and that’s all that really matters to Adonis. 

Adonis put the final pillow in place, standing back to admire his handiwork with making the bed. He looked to Leon who was patiently waiting by the bathroom door. “I’m good at this, aren’t I?” He remarked, mentally giving himself a pat on the shoulder for a job well done. 

Just then, the bathroom door opened and out came Koga with a towel hanging around his neck. Leon had an immediate reaction upon seeing his owner, getting up and jumping around Koga. Koga smiled, kneeling down to give his dog pats just as Adonis had done before. 

“Aren’t ya energetic today, Leon!” Koga laughed, as he continued to stroke the dog’s fur. Once Koga had decided that Leon had gotten enough love that morning from him, he stood up and made his way over to their dresser. 

“Thanks for makin’ the bed, by the way.” Koga said to Adonis. “Though I coulda done it while you…y’know…took a shower.” He added, fishing around in a drawer on the dresser. 

“You don’t need to thank me for that, Oogami. We live together.” Adonis answered, placing emphasis on his last sentence as he walked over to their wardrobe, picking out clothes for him to wear for the day. “It’s only right that I tidy up the bed that I was sleeping on.” 

Koga made a noise of affirmation, finally finding and pulling out the thing he was looking for: the hairdryer. He looked over at Adonis, watching as the other boy pulled out fresh clothes. Koga thought about his actions, debating with himself whether he really wanted to bother Adonis with this. He made his way over to Adonis. 

“Uh, before ya go and shower…” Koga started in a quiet voice. By now, Leon had left the room, presumably to wait for the pair to get ready to take him on a walk. Koga held out the hairdryer and hairbrush, averting his gaze from Adonis’, a light blush settling on his cheeks. 

“Could you…dry my hair for me?” He asked. “ ‘S not like I don’t know how to! I just…woulda liked it better if you did it.” He mumbled the last part, but he was sure Adonis could hear him just right. His cheeks felt incredibly hot. He knew he shouldn’t be embarrassed to asking Adonis for that, but he can’t help feeling flustered, as if he shouldn’t be so vulnerable in front of another person, even if that person was his partner, his boyfriend and the person who he was going to spend the rest of his life with. 

Adonis gave a gentle smile. “Of course, I can.” He answered, and Koga’s face lit up, his previous thoughts dissipating almost immediately. Adonis took the items from Koga’s hands, watching as Koga eagerly sat on their freshly made bed, his back facing Adonis and his legs crossed. Adonis reached under the bed to fish out the extension socket before proceeding to plug the hairdryer in.

With the hairdryer in one hand and the hairbrush in another, Adonis got to work, turning on the hairdryer, aiming it at Koga’s head while also running the hairbrush through Koga’s wet hair, making sure not to pull too hard. Koga closed his eyes, enjoying Adonis’ gentle contact, relaxing into the other boy’s touch. 

Adonis cherished moments like this. He liked taking care of Koga, and, although he puts up a tough and strong front, Koga liked being taken care of. Maybe Koga had been left to his own elements too often growing up, or maybe he felt that he wasn’t deserving of affection, not until he had proven his worth as a musician. Adonis was glad that Koga was able to open up to him, to let himself love and be loved by Adonis. 

The hairdryer was being moved around Koga’s head, blowing hot air onto his hair while Adonis continued to gently brush his hair, taking his time to work on the knots and tangles in his hair. Adonis helping to dry Koga’s hair happened frequently, just the both of them in each other’s silent company, accompanied by the whirring of the hairdryer. As long as Koga asked, Adonis would happily help him with anything. 

Perhaps that's what love is supposed to be. Acts of service to one another, little acts of appreciation to tell the other party, “I’ll forever be here with you.” and “I will love you even at your worst.”. 

“I’m done.” Adonis spoke, turning off the hairdryer and placing the hairbrush down beside Koga. He bent down to unplug the hairdryer as Koga turned around. 

“Thank you.” Koga said, rising onto his knees on the bed to give Adonis a kiss on his cheek as the latter began to put the appliance away. “You should go shower. I’ll put that away, I was the one who took it out anyways.” Koga added, taking the hairbrush from beside and the hairdryer from Adonis’ hands. He got off their bed and walked over the dresser where he took the items.

Adonis looked at Koga fondly as the latter placed the items in the drawer, before walking over to him and kissing him on his cheek. “I love you.” Adonis said, making his way over to the bathroom to take his shower.

“Love ya too.” Koga replied, watching Adonis disappear into the bathroom.

As Koga walked out of their room and into the kitchen to prepare Leon’s food, he ran his fingers through his hair, letting out a fond and gentle sigh. 

He was truly lucky to have met and fallen in love with Adonis. 

[aidokoga]

sour grapes

II , Sour, a sour taste that makes you cry

(read under the cut) 

Chapter 1.

“I love you, Oogami. Romantically.” Adonis spoke. They both fell into a silence, Koga staring at Adonis, his mouth open slightly in shock. Well, now Adonis had let the cat out of the bag, he was just hoping that this could end on a good note, Kaoru had convinced him to confess and he even asked Arashi on how to properly confess. This very evening, where the setting sun painted the sky a beautiful amber, the light reflecting off of Koga’s eyes made the boy look even prettier than he already was. Them in the classroom after a long day in school while also passing the time til unit practice seemed like the right time to confess, just so he could get it over and done with.

“No, no ya don’t.” Koga spoke, letting out an awkward laughter. “Yer playin’ a really funny prank on me, aintcha. Ya don’t like me that way…” He added, his voice trailing off as he watched Adonis give a confused look. 

“The graduation party the Vampire Bastard and Hakaze…-senpai threw for us.” Koga spoke. “Uh. I woke up in the middle of the night to go to the toilet, and I overheard you and Hakaze…-senpai talkin’.”

“Oh.” was all Adonis could muster out. 

“I didn’t hear who yer were talkin’ about. But I heard somethin’ about rejection and denial or whatever, so obviously yer talkin’ about ya crush.” Koga elaborated, averting eye contact with Adonis. “So if it’s somethin’ like ya practisin’ on me then just know I don’t really appreciate that…” 

“We were talking about you.” Adonis replied. Curt, short, and honest, and it is that honesty that shocked Koga, and he felt tears welling up in his eyes. Why would someone like Adonis ever love someone like Koga? 

“W-what?” Koga spluttered. “No way…Ya were probably talkin’ about Zakki or someone else, why would you be talkin’ about me?” He muttered, hanging his head low and bringing his palms to cover his face. “Yer lyin’ to me to make me feel better.” 

“No, that isn’t true!” Adonis shot back. “I-I mean, Oogami, you are my best friend, I would never lie to you. I want to be your partner, your lover, and I mean it truthfully.” 

He heard sniffling coming from Koga, and he stiffened. Was Koga…crying? “Oogami, are you okay?” He asked, worried. Did Koga hate the confession so much that he was crying? 

Koga didn’t answer, instead he just kept his head down and sniffled. Adonis did the next best thing he could think of, he moved to give Koga a hug, his hand stroking Koga’s back in comfort. “I’m sorry for making you cry…If you hate the confession so much, you can just tell me, and I won’t bother you anymore…” 

“Are ya fuckin’ kiddin’ me?” Koga cried out into Adonis’ shoulder. “Who the fuck cries at a confession ‘cause they hate it?” 

Adonis stayed silent for a while, thinking about what to say, before he spoke, “I don’t know what other reason you would be crying.” 

“I’m cryin’ ‘cause…’cause I love you too.” He mumbled the last part, sniffling but he made sure it was loud enough for the other boy to hear. “All this time I thought ya liked Zakki or someone else, ‘cause there’s no way you coulda liked me the way I do.” 

Adonis froze, but he then hugged Koga tighter. “I’ve loved you since our second year, I’m so glad you return my feelings, Oogami.” 

“Shaddup! Ya just tryna make me cry more!” 

Adonis broke the hug, and reached into his pockets to search for something. After a while of shuffling around, he took out a small velvet box. 

“Ya proposin’ already? Isn’t this too fast?!” Koga gawked, using his uniform sleeve to wipe away the snot and tears on his face. 

“No. Well, it can be seen as a proposal if you want to look at it as one…” Adonis answered, opening the box to show two promise rings, each one engraved with the other’s name. “This is all I can afford now, but I wanted something to signify the start of our relationship.” He spoke, putting the ring with Adonis’ name on Koga’s finger, and himself wearing the one with Koga’s name. 

“Now we match.” Adonis smiled, holding up his hand to show off the ring. Koga got flustered, his face red but he followed Adonis’ actions, holding out his hand to show off his ring. 

“Shit! I forgot about practice! We’re gonna be so fuckin’ late!” Koga exclaimed, grabbing Adonis’ hand and rushing out of the classroom. 

“Oogami, we should stop by the convenience store to get snacks, as an apology, sort of.” 

“Right! But let’s just focus on changin’ first!” 

And Adonis just let himself be guided by Koga, content that he can be by Koga’s side, as Koga’s unit mate, his best friend, and most importantly, as Koga’s boyfriend and lover. 

[aidokoga]

masterlist

ensemble stars 

adokoga

sour grapes  i.  ii.

my love lies with you

lucky

navillera

eimugi

toss your dirty shoes in my washing machine heart

[aidokoga]

sour grapes

“I just don’t think I have a place in Oogami’s future.” 

Kaoru scoffed, chuckling at Adonis’ words. 

“I don’t think you realise just how much Koga-kun adores you.”

—

kaoru and adonis talk about koga. (kaoru convinces adonis to confess)

(read under the cut)

Chapter 2.

Adonis has been in love with Koga since their second year of high school. He could never pinpoint the exact moment he fell in love with Koga. Maybe it was when Adonis accidentally walked in on him practising his guitar, or maybe it was when Koga had asked Adonis to listen to the demo he had recorded for Undead. Adonis stayed silent about his feelings however, because Koga had more to worry about than romance, Koga was focussed on being the best musician he could ever be, he couldn’t care less about love and feelings like that. 

And all Adonis can do is stay behind and cheer for Koga, as his best friend, his groupmate, and his classmate. He can support Koga, and work hard alongside Koga to improve Undead, to bring their group to greater heights, but he can never confess to Koga. What if the other boy didn’t return his feelings? What will become of their friendship then? Maybe staying best friends was better than potentially permanently messing up a cherished friendship. Maybe, just maybe, if he kept quiet for long enough, these distracting feelings that he held for Koga would just…Disappear. Or maybe Adonis will someday find someone else who will make his heart flutter like Koga does, someone else who will make him stumble over his words like Koga does. 

…But, damn, maybe all Adonis wants is to spend the rest of his life by Koga’s side, silently but wholeheartedly loving him, even if Koga may never know of Adonis’ feelings, as long as Koga is happy, Adonis will be as well. Adonis will be content with just watching Koga from afar. Perhaps in the future, they might drift apart, and they may no longer be as close as they once were, but come what may, Adonis will just stay by Koga, supporting him as Koga chases his dreams. 

“What are you thinking about, Adonis-kun?” Kaoru’s voice snapped Adonis out of his daze, as his senior walked over to join Adonis on the balcony where the latter was standing, gazing thoughtfully at the night sky. “You look to be deep in thought. Mind sharing with me?” 

Adonis turned to look at Kaoru. “It’s nothing important.” He answered. “I was just thinking about our future. Where is Oogami and Sakuma-senpai, by the way?” 

“Koga-kun fell asleep, so Rei-kun went to put him to bed.” Kaoru replied, chuckling. “He was so energetic during the party…But he started dozing off after the games, how cute.” He leaned against the ledge of the balcony. “Adonis-kun, you were so distant just now. Did you not like the graduation party the seniors planned for you and Koga-kun?” 

“Ah, no.” Adonis shook his head. “The party was fun, thank you. I enjoyed myself a lot.” 

Kaoru moved closer to Adonis, his eyes scanning over Adonis’ facial features. “If it isn’t the party, what could land our precious Adonis-kun in deep thought? Are you facing some issues in…” Kaoru paused, seemingly thinking of a word to best describe what he was implying. “...Your interpersonal relationships?” 

Adonis blinked, before averting his eyes from Kaoru’s, breaking eye contact. He let out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding. “I was thinking about…” A pause, and he thinks about how to say it properly. “Oogami. I was thinking about Oogami.” 

“Huh?” Kaoru raised an eyebrow. “And what exactly about Koga-kun were you pondering over for so long?” 

A moment of silence laid between them, before Kaoru spoke up once again. “Are you in love with him, Adonis-kun?” 

Adonis felt his face heat up, as he quickly snapped his head to look at Kaoru. “No! I mean,” Adonis spluttered, his face red. He had forgotten how perceptive Kaoru could sometimes be. He shrinks away from Kaoru, before nodding. “Yes. I’m in love with Oogami.” 

“Heh. Rei-kun owes me ¥2000 now.” Kaoru mumbled in a low voice.

“I’m sorry?” 

“Nothing~” Kaoru quickly answered. “Well, it’s great that you’re in love! Well, people do say that love makes the world go round! When did you realise your feelings for him?” 

Adonis froze, feeling his cheeks flaring up in an array of red shades. “I-I guess…I realised it when I figured out I wanted to spend the rest of my life by his side…?” He answered, unsure of whether he had conveyed his thoughts correctly. “Ever since the day I watched Oogami practise his guitar. There were…butterflies in my stomach, and I thought to myself ‘I want to watch and listen to him forever.’ “ 

Kaoru smiled, his heart warm as he mentally gushed about just how adorable Adonis was describing the feeling of loving Koga. “Does Adonis-kun need my or Rei-kun’s help in confessing to Koga?” 

Adonis just stayed silent. 

“Hakaze-senpai. I think I’m afraid to confess.” Adonis softly spoke. 

Kaoru blinked. “Adonis-kun. Afraid of confessing? And why would you be afraid to confess to Koga-kun?” He asked. The Undead juniors had always been oh so close with each other, even Kaoru, who had joined the trio last, could tell that they were two peas in a pod. They have both blossomed into beautiful and passionate young men together, thanks to each other’s influence, and soon, they were about to graduate and become full-time idols together. 

They really were two peas in a pod, meshed together so well, they even complemented each other on stage, both of them making up for the other’s weakness wherever possible. Heck, even Kaoru and Rei had placed bets on whether or not they were in love or not. Kaoru had long since assumed that Adonis knew all there was to know about Koga, and vice versa, but here Adonis was, admitting to Kaoru that he was afraid to bare his true feelings to Koga. 

“I don’t know.” Came Adonis’ honest answer. He stayed silent for a while more, before speaking up, “I just don’t think I have a place in Oogami’s future.” 

Kaoru just stared at Adonis and scoffed, chuckling at Adonis’ words. 

“I don’t think you realise just how much Koga-kun adores you.” Kaoru answered. 

Adonis looked confused, tilting his head as he thought about what Kaoru just said. 

“You never noticed?” Kaoru asked, wearing a smile on his face. “He’s always eagerly watching you, be it during performances or during practices! Whenever it’s your solo parts, he would look at you like you were the only person in the universe.”

“He probably just sees and admires me as a close friend.” Adonis responded. “He doesn’t have time for me, he’s too busy chasing his dreams.”

“Adonis-kun, he does have the time for you.” Kaoru refuted. “And maybe he is in as much denial as you are. You will never know what he truly feels about you unless you ask him honestly. Even if you feel like you know everything about him.” Kaoru finished, scooting closer to Adonis. “You never know if you never try.”

Adonis looked down, thinking about Kaoru’s words. “What if he rejects me?” Adonis asked in a small, soft voice. 

“And that’s okay! You two can still be close friends even if he doesn’t like you romantically. Just because there’s that possibility of rejection doesn’t mean you should just give up.” Kaoru answered. He moved to stand beside Adonis. “This will be my graduation gift to you, my expert advice on love.” 

Adonis gave Kaoru an indiscernible look, but despite whatever he felt about Kaoru’s last line, he still was grateful for Kaoru, for being willing to convince Adonis to confess, and for allowing Adonis to honestly express his thoughts. “Thank you, Hakaze-senpai.” 

Kaoru smiled, before turning around to walk back into the room. “It’s getting late, you should rest and call it a night soon.” He said. “Good luck, by the way! For whenever you decide to confess to him.” He added, walking into the room. 

Adonis hung behind on the balcony, thinking over the conversation he had just had with his senior. He let Kaoru’s words sit. Well now that Kaoru knows of Adonis’ feelings towards his unit mate, maybe Adonis should just confess and get it over with. He would just confess and once he gets rejected, maybe he will be able to finally bury his feelings for Koga, lay those feelings down to rest, and finally move on. 

Maybe Kaoru had been too forward with his advice that day, maybe he had scared Adonis more rather than encouraging him, because there had not been any noticeable change between his juniors. Maybe Kaoru just fucked up. 

He bit his fingernails the more he thought about it. Had Adonis just not confessed? Did Kaoru manage to terrify the poor boy into keeping his mouth shut about his feelings? 

“Kaoru-kun, please quit pacing around the practice room like that.” Rei reprimanded, getting up from the nap he was taking on the floor while waiting for their juniors to arrive for practice. “I don’t know what is making you so anxious, but you are starting to make me feel anxious too.” 

Kaoru kneeled down to sit beside Rei. “You don’t think I scared Adonis-kun into not confessing to Koga, do you?” Kaoru asked. “Remember what I told you about the graduation party? How I was convincing Adonis-kun to confess?” 

Rei yawned, stretching his arms out. “Yes, I do remember. And I personally think you should not be so concerned about our juniors. The both of them are more than capable of handling their feelings without us.”

“You’re right! I never told Adonis, but I think Koga-kun overheard some parts of the conversation because when I returned into the room, I’m pretty sure I saw Koga-kun walking away! What if he misunderstood us—”

“Sorry for being late.” Adonis’ voice came from the entrance. “We went to the convenience store to buy some snacks as an apology.” He added, holding up a bag full of each member’s favourite snack. Kaoru whipped his head around to see both Adonis and Koga standing in the doorway. Was it just him or did Koga just cry? He was sniffling and his eyes seemed to be red and puffy.  

“How nice of you to treat your seniors like this~” Rei cooed, as Adonis and Koga moved towards Rei and Kaoru, Koga uncharacteristically shuffling behind Adonis. 

“Yea, yea~ Don’t get used to it though, we only did it this time ‘cause we were runnin’ late!” Koga refuted, his voice hoarse, rubbing his eyes with his hoodie sleeves and kneeling down with Adonis to take out the contents of the bag to distribute the snacks. Once they were done with distributing, Rei had tasked them with stretching first, reasoning that the seniors had already done it when they arrived. 

“You saw them holding hands when they walked in, right~?” Rei asked Kaoru in a singsong voice. “I think your concern was unfounded.” He smiled. Kaoru heaved a sigh of relief at Rei’s observation. 

“I didn’t see that, but thank god.” Kaoru mumbled, to which Rei just laughed. “Was Koga-kun crying though because…” His voice trailed off as Koga's voice rang out in the practice room.

“Can we get started already? We shouldn’t be chitchattin’ here!” 

“Alright, let’s begin then!” Rei beamed, ignoring Kaoru’s last question, moving to the speakers to start playing their tracklist for the upcoming performance. 

Kaoru followed behind, feeling as though a heavy weight was lifted from his shoulders as he watched Koga and Adonis practise their moves. The glimmer of the promise rings sitting on Koga’s and Adonis’ ring fingers doesn’t go unnoticed by Kaoru. Now all that was left was for them to reveal their relationship, and Kaoru will make sure to throw a big party for them to celebrate the success of his advice, as well as to celebrate the love that the both of them hold for each other, because no love is as pure and passionate as young love. 

(Kaoru might even ask about how the confession went, and what might have caused the tough and hardened Koga Oogami to cry.)

[aidokoga]

introduction

this is not my first blog, but this will be the first blog where i will probably try not to die on 💀

my name is juvia, main fandom is enstars, but i play all sorts of games and engage in all sorts of fandoms (will make a detailed list or carrd or rentry soon idk) im 17, turning 18 this october! icon is not me it's jung wonyoung from ive (im a kpoppie)

i mainly just want to post fics that i have written here! hoping to build up an audience that enjoys my (sporadic) work

i mostly write adokoga, but there might be the occasional eimugi, reimugi & kuroshu

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