ahqgg

[ahqgg]

Is Max Dennison in his slut era?

[ahqgg]

if liking werewolves are furries, what does liking a frog mean? Amphibian?

Honestly, it just makes you a freak in the sheets. And not in a fun way. In a seek help way.

- gg

[ahqgg]

I like Blaise. What is wrong with me?

Nothing at all. I personally love Blaise myself.

- gg

@blaiselumiere

[ahqgg]

Who’s more of a pick me, Tiara or Wendy?

@tiarabellxo @wendymadarlings

[ahqgg]

#newicon @blaiselumiere

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this just in

kit charming is threatening to sue me.

to that, i say, talk to daddy about who leaks what.

xoxo

gg

[ahqgg]

the holiday season is in full swing right now. i know i have been awfully quiet these past few weeks, but i was busy getting everyone’s gifts ready. everyone knows that this time of year has been resorted to who gave the best gift and how many gifts were given, so don’t worry, i have a gift for everyone. 

the gift of truth. there is nothing more rewarding and giving than clarity.

it is no secret that our resident freeloader, phil deville has gotten himself in trouble with just about everyone he knows. everyone loves a good sleeping with the enemy story, but sleeping with your practical sister? i thought those old traditions died decades ago. my heart goes out to lil and chuckie; both of them seem to be losing their minds and the little gang of rugrats is falling apart. kimi, we knew you liked guys that were bad for you, but we never expected you to pick the weirdest and worst choice yet!

speaking of bad choices, our new resident slut, max dennison is making the worst ones. who knew a guy with no personality would be such a catch to the women of animania? it must be that new town smell. he claims he is head over heels about his ex, but has already fallen into the arms of resident vixen, daisy dubois. the best part is that her notorious ex charlie is too busy being a doting friend to our favorite ray of sun to even care or notice. we’re sure that has her all kinds of crazy, but not to worry; when her friend sarah isn’t too busy shoving her tongue down her ex’s throat, the infamous billy butcherson, they are normally seen together howling at the moon and plotting ways to torture the men of animania. oh no. was that supposed to be a secret?

kit charming is losing his touch. it seems our prince is cheating on his fiance with his mystery woman, who we all know is a certain maid around the charming estate and he probably thinks he will be able to follow his heart and live happily ever after; wrong! there is already rumors circulating that daddy is pissed and that he is going to find him a newer, richer, fiance as soon as this one is over with. who could this new woman be? stay tuned with  to find out! all i have to say is...shame on him. so much for princely.

things are as dysfunctional as ever in the house of hades. harold is too busy trying to win his ex back that he is neglecting his sons, especially poor paul. he is clearly spiraling onto the stiff stick of claude cogsworth to ease the neglect. harold is so blind to his ex’s darkening shadow that he can’t even see that she is sleeping with the resident skeleton man. she’s moved on, so it’s your turn too. while he is failing to take the hint, meg is failing to take the more obvious one. i don’t even have to bother linking the video of her french beau sucking the face of a familiar redhead, because it’s already all over the internet. between hooking up with her and our resident star, sharpay evans, he has made it more than clear that keeping his stiff rod in his pants is not something he can do. the only one who looks pathetic and weak at this point, is meg. it’s so sad seeing the former damsel in distress turning into that girlfriend. i never thought i would see such a strong woman become such a laughing stock so fast.

now, onto some good news! it is wendy darling’s birthday today, so naturally, i have an excellent gift to give her; evening the playing field. everyone thinks that tiara is one of the innocent players in this game, but she isn’t. in fact, while she has been pining over peter, she has also been sleeping with his best friend nibs as well. hope you like the gift, and may it bring you some clarity. it seems like tommy pickles is out of the game now too, since he has been spotted with a certain crimefighting redhead. anything is possible, right? i should warn you though, wendy.  the pacifica northwest has entered as a new player for peter’s heart, so better seal that deal quickly. can’t wait to see how rosie leads this friendship support meeting! maybe she can pine over another man not interested in her in the process. and michelle? being so blind to the fact that the lost boy she gets all giggly over is not into her is just...so michelle of her.

before i wrap this up, i would like to give a personal shout-out to willow vanderquack. congrats! nothing worthy to report and being the only person capable of figuring out who i am is lost on you entirely. i have to give you the flowers you deserve.

don’t worry. i have many more presents to give.

xoxo

gossip girl

[ahqgg]

i have a sense of humor. unlike you, my dear stick in the ass.  at least i didn’t mention how you’re ready to sit on everyone’s dick to help ease that itch there. don’t worry dear, someone will help you take it out someday.

xoxo

gg

here you go. one post without blaise lumiere.

oh wait.

oops.

xoxo

gg

[ahqgg]

here you go. one post without blaise lumiere.

oh wait.

oops.

xoxo

gg

[ahqgg]

i’m sure you thought i was gone or ran out of things to talk about, but i was waiting for the holidays to start rearing their heads. the holiday season is the best time to cozy up with loved ones and celebrate togetherness. of course, i in good concious i cannot just allow people to snuggle up with the wrong people. i do this to warn and protect the actual good citizens of animania from those who blacken the place until it is filled with lies and decit. you may not like what i have to say, but the truth does set us all free in the end.

now let’s begin. i’m in the mood to both speak truths and give advice.

of course i’ll start with our favorite, the man who thinks he’s head it all, blaise lumiere. to be honest, there isn’t much to say anymore that hasn’t been said over and over again. his little lost flame meg still thinks she is special when he’s been practically dry-humping as many women as he can with his words alone all while bothering his ex to death with romantic words and self-loathing.. it’s a tale as old as time, they say. all i have to say at this point is he just needs to cut the crap and accept he is better of single. love is not for everyone, and some people just love people so much they only know how to hurt others. do with that as you please, ladies and gents.

then we have our very own prince of the people, eric. he seems to be caught between believing a fish or believing a sweet bitch.  honestly? he needs to stop pining over a voice he heard and start putting himself out there. eric, both of these women are not worth the time. you would find an easier love connection with a vampire at this point. 

speaking of vampires, it seems our favorite creepalicious girl mavis is really making a name for herself. she doesn’t know who to trust despite being all-trusting, so don’t worry, we got you honey. emily is not worth saving, troy is going to use you to death, and zings? those only happen in books. i want the best for you because you’re one of the only good ones out there right now, so please, if a man wants to be your personal bloodbank or even smiles at you, run the fuck away girl.

running away is a lost boy’s favorite activity, and yet precious little cubby doesn’t know when it’s time to give up and run on his favorite wendybird. this little bird has had a peck out of more than one suitor at this point and she is not worth losing your friends over. i mean, then again, the only friend you’ll lose is an insane fae with some kind of complex that makes her think the world should change as she does. maybe peter is her perfect match; the two are both so full of it that they can’t see what is right in front of them. don’t worry cubby, wendy has two man-children, a director, and you to fall onto when things get sticky, right?

deciet is the worst thing for new couples. but it’s also really bad for old friends too. sabrina knows a lot about that, doesn’t she? both with new relationships and betryaing old “friends”?  (alex we are looking at you). at least riley is safe for once. their little fling with the smart deville is really blossoming into something good. we love to see it. now if only the rest of their respective gangs could get their shit together. kimi? girl, you need to pick a man and sit with that. chuckie? you need to stop fawning over people who don’t want to get in it with you. jo? do more. tommy? do less. it is honestly so embarrasing watching these people fall apart while lil and riley get it together.

now for the main course; rapunzel and her rag tag pathetic gang. rapunzel is still fawning over her soon-to-be-married prince, the prince is trying to figure out how much of a taste their mutual hook-up charlie has given them, and his  future wife is flirting with as many people as possible in some lame attempt to make her feel like she is worth something beyond a marriage with a good guy. what happened to respectable unions? what happened to treating your future partner with respect? the one thing all of these people have in common is that they are all lying to each other and everyone else they talk to. it looks like our unconventional hero is tired of being in the background while sunshine spreads her legs to others. good for him.

for once the tremaine’s are not on my shit-list. it seems like they are finally taking my word. anastasia needs to steer clear from that cook, though. i heard he let’s rats eat in the kitchen. ella though, she is digging herself a hole as big as rapunzel is. when is she gonna tell her bestie that she is in love with the same prince? i suggest looking for a new bestie. maybe ella and ryan evans can get together and mope and whine about unrequited love together. we all know every guy that he has it bad for is also emotionally turned-off by him.

that’s all for now. i’m not feeling so giving anymore. maybe thanksgiving will turn that around.

until next time,

xoxo

gossip girl

[ahqgg]

jim is a slut what are y’all talking about he listens to MCR

[ahqgg]

maybe you should leave lil and riley alone! pick on someone your own size!

Maybe they should learn how to seek better options out! It’s not my fault that one plus one equals two, loves.

- gg

@lillillians @emctionalwhirlwind

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Shaggy has better weed than Fred

Animania’s own Breaking Bad is about to hit the market. Starring Roger Rabbit as Fred and Shaggy as himself. I know I’ll grab a front row seat to that.

- gg

@itsmisterrabbit @frdzilla @zoinkshag

[ahqgg]

So does this make Belle a furry or……..

[ahqgg]

winston and claude are meant to be because they're always fucking late. they would be late to their own wedding i bet

The one thing me and my sources do know, is that they are both quite early when they shouldn’t be. If you know what I mean.

- gg

@claudecogsworth @the-winn-rabbit

[ahqgg]

most likely to start an orgy?

Blaise.

- gg

@blaiselumiere

[ahqgg]

i saw gaston kissing up on belle during the bonfire and she looked like she was enjoying it

I’m sure she was. He’s a spectacle in all the senses and she lacks anything that could be described as interesting or spontaneous in her life. She’s dating Adam, so we all knew she liked them beastly. She just seems to be finally seeking out the right kind of monster.

- gg

@rctherodd @gastonnlegume @masterofhisfate