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[ahhhhwtv]

인생 is k-drama

Okay so I’ve had a Netflix subscription for years and there are times where I don’t watch anything on it for months. It sounds stupid because like, why am I paying approximately $14 every month for it then? Well sorry to say I don’t have an answer; sometimes the shows/movies I want to watch aren’t available on Netflix so I just...... find somewhere else to watch them.

However, now I share my Netflix account with my boyfriend so at the very least there’s someone making use of the subscription. But that’s besides the point. Netflix also houses k-dramas!!! I used to be obsessed with them a few years back and would watch about 4-5 of them EACH week. And once I’ve “ran out” of dramas that I want to watch, I’d scour the internet in search of new ones to watch. So of course when Netflix started streaming k-dramas, I was excited. But I’m also quite a picky person; I choose which drama to watch based on its synopsis (whether I find the plot interesting) or the actors/actresses (have I watched them in a previous drama before?). I know that being picky limits my exposure to the world of k-dramas but I was content with it.

Anyways, I didn’t start watching any of the k-dramas on Netflix right away and here’s some reasons why:

1. The collection of k-dramas are limited, i.e. I’ve watched majority of them before. It shouldn’t come as a surprise since I used to watch a lot of them a few years back and for some reason Netflix was streaming a lot of the ones I’ve watched before. I’m not against rewatching k-dramas too, especially the good ones. But on days that I feel like watching something new? Netflix ain’t got what I’m looking for.

2. There’s a variety show streaming on Netflix called Men On A Mission and I love that show so much. But I can’t watch it on Netflix because all the songs used in the show will be dubbed over, I guess due to copyrights issues? Nevertheless, it kills the vibe man. I’d rather watch it online and click through all the ads just to get the unfiltered version.

3. I know there are some people out there who feel the same way but I don’t like watching the popular dramas. I guess those dramas are always overly-hyped to the point that it puts me off ever watching them? I know eventually I will come around but for now they’re not my cup of tea.

I’m not saying that watching k-dramas on Netflix is bad or anything, I’ve actually watched a few good dramas like Black and Two Cops. It’s just that Netflix can’t give me everything I need so I compensate by getting it fulfilled somewhere else ;-) HAHAHAHA.

Side note: is it weird that I’m a sucker for bromance more than romance???? Like I looooooove a good bromance but when a romantice scene comes on it’s like too cringy for me???? It’s not that I totally dislike romantice scenes; my heart still flutters whenever there’s a kiss scene. I guess I just prefer the comedic aspect of the bromance to the cringiness of romance??? I don’t know how to explain it any better but that’s just the way I feel.

[ahhhhwtv]

safety nets

Some days I feel like I screwed up my life majorly. Like, I didn’t get the course of study I wanted to pursue and instead I was stuck studying something I’ve never had any interest in. I didn’t even know the course existed until I was magically accepted despite not applying directly to that particular course. Nevertheless I accepted the offer because at that point in time, I thought it was truly my last chance at getting a diploma. For the first year, I had this mindset where the diploma was just a stepping stone to getting a degree. So I studied my ass off and achieved good results. I was aiming high so that I could qualify for a local university.

Next comes my second year and a lot of shit happened that caused my mental health to deteriorate. I wasn’t motivated at all and the company of friends I had around me were not the studious type. I had always been the “nerdy” one in that group so when I started to slack off, no one around me said anything about it. I spent more and more time at my part-time job instead of studying and of course, by the end of my second year, my grades plummeted. Not only was I devastated, I was also heart-broken and lost. I didn’t know what to do with my life and I had zero interest in doing anything. I felt completely and utterly hopeless.

Entering my third year, I made the mistake of choosing the wrong elective. I ended up being the only person from my diploma taking that elective and as a natural-born awkward human being, I found it hard to socialise and make friends. As a result, I skipped a lot of those lessons and I couldn’t catch up during the days I did attend class. The only thing that kept me going to school was my final year project. Luckily I had teamed up with people who I was comfortable with, and we had mutual respect for each other as we had known one another ever since our first year. I was excited to work with them and for the first time since my first year, I felt motivated. It was also during this time that I had met my boyfriend and he played a crucial role in encouraging me to try harder.

Honestly, I didn’t expect to graduate within 3 years. I had assumed that I would have to repeat my third year due to my grades and attendance. During my internship, I had a mental breakdown when I realised that the GPA I was graduating with, was considered low for admission to a local university. Again, through no one’s fault but my own, I felt completely and utterly hopeless. I couldn’t afford to take a second diploma and I wasn’t eligible to transfer to a different diploma; I felt like I was trapped.

I don’t know what came over me but several days after my mental breakdown, I decided that I wanted to be a diploma holder at least; I wanted to graduate. At the very least, if I couldn’t qualify for university, I could apply for a full-time job as a diploma holder instead of just having an O level certificate. With the help of my boyfriend, I managed to convince myself that I still have a future and I shouldn’t throw away the opportunity to have a diploma. So, towards the end of my final semester, I scrapped together every ounce of willpower I had and completed the necessary requirements to graduate.

Even though I missed the window of application for university this year, I’m determined to apply next year despite the odds stacked against me. I’ve decided that it’s better to try and fail, rather than to not try at all. And as my wonderful boyfriend has pointed out every single time I start to panic about the odds, I still have my diploma. I can still use it to get a full-time job and from there, I can slowly work my way up to getting a degree. Life is truly full of unexpected twists and turns, some people fuck up while others are smoothly sailing. Regardless of which category I fall under, one thing I should never do is stop trying.

[ahhhhwtv]

this isn’t a gaming review because i’m less than qualified to give one

Recently, I got my hands on Fire Emblem Three Houses on Nintendo Switch. And by recently I mean more than a month had passed since the game’s release and I’m only playing it now. Ever since then I have been playing it nonstop for days but I wouldn’t call myself a gamer though. The only “gaming system” I had before the Switch was the PSP and I didn’t play much games then either. I didn’t even play pokemon growing up; I’ve only started playing pokemon like a few months ago and I have yet to complete my pokedex in Fire Red. I still have a long, long, long, long way to go to catch up to the entire pokemon series.

Anyways, before I got FE3H, I watched tons of reviews and gameplay on Youtube. It’s basically a turn-based strategic RPG and as a professor, you get to choose which house out of 3 that you wanna teach. Every house has their own set of unique characters with different backgrounds which you get to know more about as the bond between you and the students deepen. I have never played a FE game in my life and I’m also horrible at strategy; I’ve never played chess in my life too. 

But I thought the game would be fun so I bought it and now I can’t stop playing it. Every time I felt like the game was a little bit draggy or I started to feel bored with all the fighting, the captivating cut scenes pulls me right back into the game. It’s like the perfect blend of gameplay and movie time. I fall in love with every character more and more as the story progresses and I get more confident with the battles as I learn from experience. 

That being said, I’m surprised that even a novice like me could grasp the concept of strategy in the game. And it’s not like the battles are easy; I’ve had to restart many times because (A) my students kept dying or (B) I kept dying. I just didn’t expect myself to enjoy it this much or be so invested in it. I’ve always wanted to be so absorbed in a game until it’s the only thing I’m thinking about. I wanted to know how it felt and thanks to this game, I have achieved it. Sometimes I think that I’m too emotionally invested in the game where when my students are sad, I actually feel sad and when they’re happy, I’m happy too. 

Another thing I love about the game is that it’s freakishly long. I think I’ve logged about 20-30 hours on the game before I completed part ONE. I only start part two yesterday and I think it’s been about a week since I started the game? More or less. Anyways it could be due to my incompetency and the relentless restarting of battles, but the average gamplay can be well over 100.  

AND something that’s been mentioned by several youtubers is that you can triple your average gameplay hours for this game by replaying with different houses!!! Like I mentioned before and in the game title, there are THREE houses. So, once you’ve completed your playthrough with one house, you can restart and play with one of the other two houses. Some might think and wonder, “Wouldn’t the game be roughly the same?” but no, it wouldn’t. 

Every character has their own unique backgrounds and how they’re related to the main plot differs. Therefore, your game could be drastically changed with a single decision. The game is truly a masterpiece and I can’t wait to complete my first playthrough and play it again. 

[ahhhhwtv]

i created this blog at 3am and its 1:30pm now

So the whole purpose of this blog is to give me a platform to talk about literally anything I want. All those random thoughts in my head that no one cares about? Yeah, those. It’s not like I don’t have anyone to talk to; it just feels irrelevant to bring up. Or just completely random, I don’t know. Also I thought it would be fun to keep track of the things I ramble about in my head and see if there’s anything of value.

I used to write, a lot. Like I would have notebooks and papers filled with my thoughts and occasionally, a few short stories. I don’t know what compelled me to switch from writing in journals to posting my thoughts online for anyone to see but...... I’m gonna do it anyways? I guess this is just another platform for me to express myself which is ironic considering I don’t even have a Twitter account (don’t judge me). And I don’t even know if I’m gonna keep this up like, this might be the first and the last post ever. I might wake up tomorrow and decide to never post anything here ever again. Or it might seem like I’m never gonna post anything ever again and a few months down the road, I post something.

But like I said, this blog is created by me for me. Which means that whatever and whenever I post is entirely dependent on whether or not I feel like sharing my thoughts and opinions that normal people don’t care about.