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The Normal Distortion.

The Distortion X The Normal Album 👀

art by me :)

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special defense

does this count as anything ???is this art

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youtube is pulling this bullshit again

praying for the firefox gods to save me once more...

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さいころスタッキング　　(∩´∀｀)∩ ﾖｲｼｮｯ A man who knows how to stack dice

（Reddit： r/nextfuckinglevel　u/Aryan_Anushiravan）

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stop letting miserable people on the internet convince you that you must have a concrete, well-constructed opinion on everything that has ever existed.

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Gendered parenting is so weird. As a little kid I was a total daddy's girl, I was told I would always try to sneak into the garage, I was always very interested in everything he was doing and would follow him around while he was working, but while my family was never the type to outright say "you can't do that because you're a girl", they simply didn't entertain the idea that I could possibly be interested in cars. Then when my little brother was born, it was just assumed he would become a mechanic like our dad because he was a boy. Even though he, unlike me, didn't like being in the garage much and wasn't all that interested in what dad was doing. Once he got to a certain age, dad started making him help and would drag him away from his actual interests for it, which lead to a lot of arguing and not much actual learning.

Gendered expectations sort of create doubles of children. There's the real child with their actual personality, interests and behaviors, and then there's the Gender Child.

My real brother hated soccer and team sports. The Gender Child that existed only the minds of the adults in his life needed to play soccer because that's what a Boy Child does.

Growing up, I always felt like adults didn't actually know me as a person and they weren't interested in getting to know me. Because they felt they'd already learned everything there was to know about me when they were told "it's a girl".

When I talk about how I never got gifts I actually liked from my relatives (to this day I still don't like getting gifts that aren't something I picked out myself), it isn't actually about the gifts themselves. I don't even remember them. What I do remember is the feeling of being given gifts that were seemingly not bought with the real me in mind. They were for the Girl Child™️ version of me. The me that adults wanted me to be, not who I actually was.

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Be still for there is strange music and such

Also tumblr wasnt letting me post for some reason so i had to delete it and reinstall it but im back!!

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Santa is on strike due to global warming.  All presents this year will be delivered by Sasha the Christmas Tiger.  Milk and cookies may not be sufficient.

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 i tried to be funny and it backfired miserably

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Standing in a checkout line, when an older man asks me about my Goncharov t-shirt. I say "It's a movie, " when the person behind me chimes in, "Oh, yes, Scorsese."

The original gentleman goes on to tell me about the author Goncharov, his favorite of his novels, and a famous character from one of the novels. The three of us discuss whether the main character in the movie is intentionally named after the author, referencing that character, or whether it just sounded good to the film maker. We discuss how steeped the movie is in symbology.

Two of us are having a very different conversation than the third.

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For the past 3 weeks or so I've been getting almost daily calls from ADT, a security alarm company, stating my business in NYC is sending a distress signal. Initially I thought it was a scam because I do not have a business in NYC but the calls kept coming and at all hours of the day.

So I looked up the business and called them yesterday.

Turns out their alarm has been malfunctioning for roughly 3 weeks and they couldn't figure out why they weren't getting calls about the constant distress signal it was (incorrectly) sending. Because ADT had a single digit off and was calling me instead of them.

However that means the phone call went like this:

Me: hi can I speak to a member of management

Them: speaking, what can I do for you

Me: OK this probably sounds crazy but I've been getting calls from your security system for about 3 weeks and figured you should probably know. And also I want them to stop calling me at 3am.

Them: ...OH MY GOD THAT'S WHY THIS HAS BEEN HAPPENING

Me: yeah I thought it wasn't real at first but then it didn't stop

Them: no no I'm looking at our caller ID and the number we're supposed to have on file is a digit off of yours, I know exactly what the problem is, thank you SO much

And then I got a text from the person I assume is the manager I spoke to thanking me profusely again for helping them sort out the problem. So all's well that ends well but I was a little concerned they'd be offended or accuse me of scamming them. I haven't gotten a call from their system since I told them yesterday so here's hoping they get the random late night/early morning wake up calls instead of me from here on out.

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yeah there is an issue with people hypermasculinizing black/brown people of all genders and it's not really cool.

I know I'm a trans guy and I have an androgynous voice and broad shoulders and whatever but, I like being fem and cute too, and idk. I've dealt with the hypermasculinization bs my whole life which made it harder for me to realize I was trans and express my gender.

and I hate hearing shit like, "black tboys pass so well" you are hypermasculinizing us and putting a progressive spin on it STOP 😭😭😭

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I get confused a lot. I think other people get confused too.

Talk about visible autism sometimes, talk about being visibly disabled. But when talk about it, always get low support needs people saying “yeah, I stim and people notice and stare at me. I’m visibly autistic sometimes”

And don’t think they understand when I say visibly autistic or developmentally disabled. Yes, know that sometimes “visibly autistic” isn’t black and white. Some people do get marked as visibly autistic just for stimming a bit.

But when I talk about visible autism, don’t talk about that. And it can be frustrating. Feels like people talking over me. Just want to scream “you don’t get it”.

Example: was in library yesterday. State Caregivers came with their clients, they sit in library, walk around, watch movies, look at books, eat lunch. They’re required to take their clients out into the community for a certain amount of hours a week, so why not the library? I was there. Was there with my caregiver. Looked over, saw the clients, and saw the caregivers looking at my caregiver with a knowing look. They knew. I knew. Their clients knew. I was like them, and they were like me. Just people sitting in the library who are disabled and require caregivers.

That’s what I’m talking about. That knowing look. That look of pity. That look to my caregiver that says it all. The looks of pity from the librarian. From everyone.

Visible autism for higher support needs autistic people, so much more different than visible autism for low support needs people. And that needs to be realized. Strangers know. And sometimes they don’t know what’s going on, but they all went to school probably, right? They know the special education kids. The “special” kids. Yeah. That’s us. That’s me. They know. I’m tired of people not understanding.

Yes, community. Find middle ground. You’re like me, I’m like you. We are all autistic (those who are autistic), but that doesn’t mean all experiences the same. That doesn’t mean we think, act, eat, sleep, the same. You’re different, and that’s ok.

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I get confused a lot. I think other people get confused too.

Talk about visible autism sometimes, talk about being visibly disabled. But when talk about it, always get low support needs people saying “yeah, I stim and people notice and stare at me. I’m visibly autistic sometimes”

And don’t think they understand when I say visibly autistic or developmentally disabled. Yes, know that sometimes “visibly autistic” isn’t black and white. Some people do get marked as visibly autistic just for stimming a bit.

But when I talk about visible autism, don’t talk about that. And it can be frustrating. Feels like people talking over me. Just want to scream “you don’t get it”.

Example: was in library yesterday. State Caregivers came with their clients, they sit in library, walk around, watch movies, look at books, eat lunch. They’re required to take their clients out into the community for a certain amount of hours a week, so why not the library? I was there. Was there with my caregiver. Looked over, saw the clients, and saw the caregivers looking at my caregiver with a knowing look. They knew. I knew. Their clients knew. I was like them, and they were like me. Just people sitting in the library who are disabled and require caregivers.

That’s what I’m talking about. That knowing look. That look of pity. That look to my caregiver that says it all. The looks of pity from the librarian. From everyone.

Visible autism for higher support needs autistic people, so much more different than visible autism for low support needs people. And that needs to be realized. Strangers know. And sometimes they don’t know what’s going on, but they all went to school probably, right? They know the special education kids. The “special” kids. Yeah. That’s us. That’s me. They know. I’m tired of people not understanding.

Yes, community. Find middle ground. You’re like me, I’m like you. We are all autistic (those who are autistic), but that doesn’t mean all experiences the same. That doesn’t mean we think, act, eat, sleep, the same. You’re different, and that’s ok.

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i used to have a running gag on twitter where i would tweet "i'm going to draw a horse" and then proceeded to draw a horse. here is a compilation