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it fucken WIMDY (via)

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Took me too long to realize this was about the show Glee. Try reading like I was, using just the regular, non-singing definition of the English word "glee". What a ride.

u know what’s wrong with tumblr now?? too many kids who weren’t here for glee. y'all have no idea. none of u understand the suffering we went through. the hell. the endless war. u come in here and u try to start The Discourse but u dont get that we already made these mistakes. we already had the discourse and its done now. its over. its all over and u should let it stay dead but u wont and that’s why we all hate u

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Bad news...and the joke is the card we got for Bladric

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mountain llama

country gnomes,

take my bones

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Y'all got some of that Wee Sing Silly Songs?

get in loser we’re listening to our comfort songs from kindergarten to second grade

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Explanation: It's just that… you have all these squishy parts, master. And all that water! How the constant sloshing doesn't drive you mad, I have no idea…

“X bodily fluid is just filtered blood!” buddy I hate to break it to you but ALL of the fluids in your body are filtered blood. Your circulatory system is how water gets around your body. It all comes out of the blood (or lymph, which is just filtered blood).

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blows up a random stranger with a rocket launcher for no reason then falls to the ground weeping histrionically & receives the tender attention & support of everyone present

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Witnessing starlight from our nearest (and dearest) sun slice through the gaps of the nearby mountain peaks to the east, having already witnessed the very same star disappear below the western horizon ten hours prior and managing to remain at least semi-conscious that whole stretch of time. When that morning light slaps me in the face, I squint my eyes as I turn away, thinking "Shoot, I've stayed up late a little bit".

I’m genuinely curious: what do you personally consider “staying up late”?

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omg ok put in the tags a food that makes u feel like life is worth living when you eat it. like u eat it and it’s soo good and everything’s fine actually

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on behalf of isoetes I’m offended, Mr. Senator. 

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You are a long forgotten god. A small girl leaves a piece of candy at your shrine, and you awaken. Now, you must do everything to protect your High Priestess, the girl, and her entire kindergarten class, your worshipers.

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Idle hands are the devil's palms

From a 1977 Christian dieting book titled "Help Lord - The Devil Wants Me Fat!"

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This person gets it

This isn't so much a question as it is a comment. As someone who primarily plays the eternal formats of Legacy, Modern, and Commander, I have mixed feelings about the new abilities that only trigger once per turn. On one hand, giving a card "Whenever" really increases its power level and allows players to abuse that creature. This leads to some cards not wanting to be played everywhere.

But that's okay! Like you said, it gives more variability to the game and let's you as WoTC better manage the power levels of the formats these get shoved into. (Primarily Pioneer and Standard) The company has not gotten rid of abilities that can be used "whenever", but instead allow you to put powerful effects on cards that normally wouldn't BECAUSE they are only once per turn.

Besides, at the end of the day, we still use creatures that have abilities that trigger during "the beginning of X Step" only, or "if it's your second spell of the turn" etc. It's really not so different; we just get the option to use it how we wish instead.

Well put.

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My favorite emails I get from students are when: it's not their student email (maybe through their parents email like jay&kristen75@juno.com), no subject line, no signature, no identifying information of any kind, and the only words are "i was there? why is it absent plz change it"

Immature and Angry

[Scene: Beth, age 13, is writing an email to a teacher to inquire why a recent assignment was graded so low...]

Beth: "Here, how does this sound?"

Me: [looks at screen] "This sentence here sounds kind of condescending."

Beth: "Oh. OK, I didn't mean to sound condescending." [edits email] "How's that?"

Me: "That's better. But I think you should treat teacher emails like business emails. Start with a salutation or greeting, for example, instead of just diving into the question."

Beth: "OK." [edits email] "How's this?"

Me: "Um. It's fine. Terse, but fine. It's not really friendly at all."

Beth: "I'm not really feeling friendly at all."

Me: "It seems a little angry, in fact."

Beth: "But what if I am a little angry?"

Me: "OK, but in this kind of communication, you have to be mature about it."

Beth: "But what if I /want/ to be immature?"

Me: "You can't be immature and angry in these situations if you want any respect."

Beth: "But what if I /want/ to be immature and angry?!"

Me: "Well, that's totally a choice you can make, but you're going to get further if you aren't."

Beth: [rolling eyes] "Fine. Here." [edits email] "How's that?"

Me: "You added 'Hello'?"

Beth: "It's as friendly as I'm feeling right now!" [hits send]

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Every now and then a new celeb pops up out of nowhere and I’m supposed to know who they are. Sorry bud but that’s just a guy.