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My parents have a “Festivus” party every year and this year I found this sign on their bedroom door

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HOW DID A BABY TURTLE THE SIZE OF A QUARTER GET INTO OUR LIVING ROOM

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colors

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This is the best idea in the history of film.

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Yesterday my little brother told me something very sweet and touching, that when he was a kid and had nightmares about monsters chasing him or whatever he would be able to end the nightmare by finding me in the dream and I would protect him by fighting off the zombies, or carrying him away. This is adorable, and makes me feel like the greatest older sibling in the world, but the hilarious thing is that when I was a kid I had nightmares of needing to save him from zombies and such. so many dreams where he was in trouble and I needed to save him. Like my nightmares began where his ended. Low key I think he mastered the ability to psychically transfer his nightmare to me as a child and I'm kind of annoyed with him.

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My wife's favorite sleep noise app is the kind that lets you mix different noises, one of which is a snoring shih tzu, and she loves to create soundscapes that imply the dog is in imminent danger

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“don🦍t believe anything your brain tells you after 9 pm” wrong. the prime time for decision making is when you🦍re sleep deprived

^example of what life would be like if we used gorillas instead of apostrophes

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The only thing worse than having a job is not having a job. And the only thing worse than not having a job is looking for a job. And the only thing worse than looking for a job is being 19 years old.

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I’ve been patiently waiting for a nice second-hand wood dresser to appear on fb marketplace or at Goodwill for months. Finally, I grabbed this one yesterday for $50.

My inspiration for this project are some dressers I saw at Anthropology that have gorgeous carved details. But I want my dresser to cost $200 or less rather than $2,000.

Of course I can’t add actual hand-carved wood, but I’ve got clay and some silicon molds + epoxy and a potential overconfidence in my DIY abilities.

First up, I removed the existing hardware and sanded this pretty lady down. She is now looking MUCH better without all those terrible stains (and the drawer pulls weren’t doing it for her, tbh).

Up next, I’ll give her a paint wash or three and start trying my hand at faking some carvings!

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broad daylight in horror is massively underused

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I'm at a :.|:; for words.

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Dungeons and Opossums

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Was looking for prom outfits at the Savers; this is my prom outfit from the Savers.

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It's not common, but every so often I run across a baby mouse that has crawled into a discarded peanut shell. It's usually body armor but sometimes it can be headgear also.

I call them Peanut Knights. This fuzzy has a quite stylish open-face helmet!

Here she is without her helmet:

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this is actually a perfect example of how people are raised to believe that being fat in and of itself is a bad thing.

because the way this person is describing their cat is in no way shaming or mean, it's just a silly endearing description of their cat's body. BUT because they subconsciously (or consciously, idk them) believe that being fat is inherently bad they perceive that as body shaming. and i hate that.

i'm mid size (like actually mid size not a size medium) and i work with kids and there's so many times when the kids i work with will point out that a part of me is big or fat or that i'm fat and i actually love that because it allows me to openly talk to the kids about that and get them to think about it. but their parents or other adults are so quick to step in and scold them for saying these things, further instilling the belief in these kids that fat=bad. i don't really have a point here i'm just tired of it.

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Tom Holland photographed by Michael Muller for Man About Town Magazine

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#dedicated to the gram