aggressive-swan-noises

[aggressive-swan-noises]

here have this grond meme that my partner made

[aggressive-swan-noises]

LOTR Fic Sneak Peak!!

I don't know if I'll ever get around to posting the whole thing... I'm about twelve chapters in and I want to make sure I know where it's going, but this part was just too funny not to share, so here's an out-of-context scene:

“You need to learn this,” Boromir said, swinging from above again, starting the pattern over, “I could have struck your side, you left it wide open— if you wish to survive—” another hit— “you at least need to know how to defend yourself!”

Josephine ducked out of the way of a blow aimed straight at her head.

“Hey, what’s the big idea?!”

“You keep letting me back you into a corner,” he said, “If you had been in a fight with a real enemy, they would have skewered you through your shoulder and pinned you between those bricks.”

That was certainly the most creative death Boromir had described for her during today’s training session. In the last twenty minutes, she’d been beheaded four times, disemboweled three times, impaled six or seven, had her throat slit, her heart pierced, and her lungs run through twice.

[aggressive-swan-noises]

I’m back, I made the blackberry cobbler, and now I present you with a poll:

Does anyone ever actually wait for butter to soften before they make a recipe? Or are we all just impulsive goblin bakers who don’t know we’re going to bake until the ingredients are on the table and the recipe is pulled up?

[aggressive-swan-noises]

Does anyone ever actually wait for butter to soften before they make a recipe? Or are we all just impulsive goblin bakers who don’t know we’re going to bake until the ingredients are on the table and the recipe is pulled up?

[aggressive-swan-noises]

"nothing is real atoms never touch each other youve never touched anything in your life" ok. well when i pet my dog he is soft and when he licks my hand it is wet and that is far more real to me than whatevers going on at an atomic level

[aggressive-swan-noises]

Happy 32nd birthday to my sibling @awesomepaste who requested Boromir and Faramir being happy for their birthday present. And why shouldn't they get to be happy?

[aggressive-swan-noises]

Ok I’m back!! I had to draw it!!

Here you go!!!

I asked my mom which member of the fellowship would be the best dancer and she said, without hesitation, "Boromir."

Looks like I just discovered my new favorite lotr headcannon.

[aggressive-swan-noises]

Ok I’ve actually had this as a headcannon for a while and I’m so happy other people think that too!!! I like to think he’s surprisingly light on his feet for being such a tall, strong man. And if you don’t know how to dance, no worries! Because that man will (if you’re comfortable, that is) pick you up and dance with you and you won’t have to move your feet at all.

I asked my mom which member of the fellowship would be the best dancer and she said, without hesitation, "Boromir."

Looks like I just discovered my new favorite lotr headcannon.

[aggressive-swan-noises]

thought it’d be fun to compile all of my drawings of this character over the years

[aggressive-swan-noises]

For all of the northerners that stood up for Texas during our freeze and said, "Don't make fun of them, they've never dealt with this before. Their infrastructure isn't made for snow and freezing."

This one is for you.

Where I live 108°F with 80% humidity with no wind is normal.

Pacific North West is dealing historic best waves 35-40°C or 95-105°F.

First of all. Don't make fun of them for bitching about the heat. Just like Texas isn't built for a freeze and our pipes burst, Pacific North West isn't built for heat and a lot of their homes don't have AC.

If you live somewhere with a high humidity like 80+ HUMIDITY IS NOT YOUR FRIEND. The "humidity makes it feel cooler" is a lie once it gets beyond a point.

If you live somewhere with a lower humidity, misters are nice to cool off outside.

Once you get over 90°F (32°C) a fan will not help you. It's just pushing around hot air. (I mean if you can't afford a small AC unit because they're expensive as hell, by all means a fan is better than nothing).

If you have pets, those portable AC units aren't safe. If your pets destroy the outtake thing, it'll leak CO2. Window units are safer.

Window AC units will let mosquitoes or other small bugs in. Sucks, but that's life.

Now is not the time to me modest. If you have to cover for religious reasons, by all means. If you don't, I've seen people wear short shorts and a swim top. It's not trashy if it keeps you from getting heat stroke.

If you do have to cover up for religious reasons, look for elephant pants or something similar. They're made with a breathable material.

Shade is better than no shade, but that shit it just diet sun after some point. Don't think shade will save you from heat stroke.

I know the "drink your water" is a fun meme now, but if you're sweating excessively you need electrolytes. Drink Gatorade, Powerade, or Pedialite PLEASE. I don't care if you're fucking sitting in one spot all day. That shit WILL save you from heat stroke.

Most importantly. RESEARCH THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN HEAT STROKE AND HEAT EXHAUSTION PLEASE!

If you're diabetic and can't drink Gatorade, mix water, fruit juice, and either lite salt or pink salt

If you can afford it, cover windows with thick curtains to insulate the house

If you have tile floors, lay on them with skin to tile contact. If you don't, laying your head on cool counters works too.

If the temperature where you're at is hotter than your body temperature, don't wear heat wicking clothing. Moisture wicking is safe though.

Check your medication labels. Many make you more susceptible to sun and heat

-Room temperature water will get into your body faster. This is something I learned doing marching band in high summer in Georgia, and it saved all of our asses. Sip it, don't gulp it, especially if you're getting into the red; same goes for whatever fluid you're drinking. And just in general drink during the day.

-If you are moving from an air conditioned space to an un-air conditioned space, if at all possible try to make the shift gradual. When my dad and I were working outside and in un-ac houses a few years ago, he'd turn the air down to low in the truck about ten-fifteen minutes before we got where we were going. This way your body doesn't go from low low temps to high temps. S'bad for you.

-If you can, keep your lights off during the day. Light bulbs may not generate a lot of heat, but the difference is noticeable when it gets hot enough. I literally only turn my bedroom light on in the evening when it gets too dark.

Don't be afraid to just like... pour water on yourself if you need to. The evaporation will cool you off.

Put your hand to the cement for 15 seconds. If you can't handle the heat, it'll burn your dog's paws. Don't let them walk on it.

Dogs with flat faces are more prone to heat stroke. Don't leave them out unsupervised.

Frozen fruit is delicious in water.

Wet/Cold hat/handkerchief on your head/neck will help you stay cool.

Pickle juice is great for electrolytes! You can even make pickle juice Popsicles!

Heat exhaustion is more, "drink water and get you cooled off." Heat stroke is more "Oh my god call 911."

Image Description provided by @loveize

[Image description: an infographic showing the difference between heat exhaustion and heat stroke. The graphic is labeled "Heat Dangers: First Warning." Signs of heat exhaustion: faint or dizzy, excessive sweating, cool, pale, clammy skin, rapid, weak pulse, muscle cramps. If you think you or someone else may be experiencing heat exhaustion, get to a cool, air-conditioned place, drink water if conscious, and take a cool shower or use cold compress. Signs of heat stroke: throbbing headache, no sweating, red, hot, dry skin, rapid, strong pulse, may lose consciousness. If you think you or someone else may be experiencing heat stroke, call 911. End description]

Be safe.

-fae

[aggressive-swan-noises]

Oh my gosh I’m obsessed with this

After the destruction of the ring, during his time in Cormallen, Eomer starts getting letters from nobility from all across the land, offering condolences for the death of his uncle, congratulations for his ascension to the throne, thanks for his country's support in the war, and offers of marriage for either himself, his sister, or both.

Eomer decides to enlist his knight, Meriadoc Brandybuck of Brandy Hall, to take over his correspondance for him, a task Merry takes to with zeal.

Unfortunately, no one bothered to tell Merry that all he needed to do was send some gracious lines back, acknowledging their congratulations and condolences on Eomer's behalf.

Merry knows how to write a letter properly, and if there's one thing hobbits are good for, it's getting chatty with strangers, even through writings.

He writes long, friendly letters, rambling on about the war, the House of Eorl, Rohan, horses, Bill the Pony, pipeweed, and everything else that pops into his head.

In response to the marriage proposals, well, he doesn't want anyone to waste their time, so while he writes back that "the Lady Eowyn is indeed most fair and valiant", he's actually pretty sure that she and Lord Faramir have a thing going on, or at least, Lord Faramir would like them to, and nothing has been announced but they did spend an awful lot of times holding hands and Ioreth; Ioreth one of the head healers at the Houses of Healing, very chatty but nice lady, her sister keeps a garden, said she saw Lord Faramir kissing her on the forehead on the battlements, and he gave her a mantle belonging to his mother, of course, it was rather cold, but when Merry's father courted his mother her gave her a brooch that had belonged to Merry's grandmother, who got it from her husband, who got it from an aunt, who got it in a card game (and on it goes), and as for Eomer King, well, he can't say for certain but he hasn't heard of anything going on there, so certainly, if they think Eomer and their daughters might take a fancy to each other, there could be no harm in them meeting.

And that's how Eomer ends up having daughters from every noble house thrown at him, and becomes the last man in the kingdom to find out about Eowyn and Faramir, and Merry ends up becoming pen pans with half the nobility in Middle Earth.

[aggressive-swan-noises]

I'm playing with a new style I'll be using on an illustration project (I've been dying to tell you all about it, but publishing takes 400 years and an act of Congress to move forward). The style is all grayscale and a little more pushed and cartoony than my usual, and to get a feel for it without having to do character design legwork I fell back into the arms of Our Guy

^Caradhras will always be one of my favorite canon Boromir moments

^Boromir: blah blah blah posture posture mask mask I don't have generational trauma

Faramir: *0*

^Also a hobbit lass. I'm not sure who. My heart tells me it's Primula Took.

[aggressive-swan-noises]

so on the subject of stolen property, i’ve seen various arguments on this point but it is in fact true that inheriting something from a relative, when you know full well that it was stolen, does not make it yours.

this clearly goes doubly so for powerful magical artifacts, and especially for artifacts which are strongly implied to contain part of their creator’s soul!

you can talk about consequences - maybe the artifact in question has benefits for you, maybe you’re not convinced its rightful owners would use it responsibly - but talking about the consequences doesn’t erase the fact that whatever benefits you think you’re getting are achieved through wrongful means.

which is why i, too, think Frodo should have given the One Ring back to Sauron. thief.

[aggressive-swan-noises]

This is so true, my first dnd character was this extremely serious mermaid druid and by the end of the campaign her most glorious victory was capturing a uniturkey (unicorn-Turkey) in a contest against the rest of the party members. And then my most ridiculous character, a sea elf who was a circle of stars Druid but thought she was just really good at astrology, ended up being the most traumatized of the bunch.

And on the other hand, the party made of “Zarath the Vengeful, Angar Bloodforge and The Dark Helm” are all rolling for who can best everyone at a pie eating contest. Naturally

[aggressive-swan-noises]

New URL!!

Hey friends, I felt like I needed a change, so I changed my URL! I was previously heranintomyknife23times, but I wanted something fresh (and I thought this new one was really funny).