afishwritesamusical

[afishwritesamusical]

Dave: hi y'all it’s turntechGodhead the only grubtuber with the ability to travel through and control time, here with another taste test

Dave: i’m here in 1976 and i’m gonna get some fries from mickey d’s before they changed the recipe and them i’m gonna take them back to 2022 and get fries from the same mcdonalds so i can compare

Dave: now i’ve got my Nixon, uh, Ford? Carter? era fries here so now i’m just gonna-

*everything appears stretched and distant, and then the camera flies through space, through the sun, over millions of different Earths, past the faces of individual people in a thousand different timelines, splintered day by day, the long-dead alive once more, their varied futures lying before them. They appear to be screaming*

Dave: aaaaaand here we are, gettin’ the new fries today

Dave: i have to say i like the old fries a bit better, bit more crisp, but mickey d’s fries are still mickey d’s fries y'know?

Dave: anyway i know some of you guys were freaked out at all the screaming faces last video but like i’m used to ‘em and they aren’t even audible to me

Dave: but y'know what is audible? That’s right today’s sponsor is Audible use code-

[afishwritesamusical]

What

[afishwritesamusical]

Hey. Hey. HEYHEYHEYHEY

What was your favYTP joke edit?

"Grandpa, you think I've got a chance to find one?"

"One?! I'm counting on you to find none!"

[afishwritesamusical]

I wish depression were an emergency. I wish someone could take one look at how sick I am and go “oh my god, we need to get you to a hospital!” and then when we get there I get rushed into surgery and the surgeons say “it’s a good thing you brought her here when you did, this is a seriously advanced case” and then they put me under and spend the next ten hours pulling metres of long, sticky black strands of gunk out of my body, throwing it immediately into an incinerator so that it can’t infect anyone else. And then they could stitch me back up and I could rest a few days, and when I leave the hospital everyone can see how much better I am and they congratulate me saying “well done, you’ve been so brave, I’m so glad you’re ok. I love you.”

[afishwritesamusical]

[afishwritesamusical]

I think "they don't even have X" is one of those memes that's actually funnier in its original context than in anything that's been done with it subsequently. Like, in its original context, this is a joke about a man who has lived his entire adult life alone in a swamp cold-reading the atmosphere of a corporate workplace and deciding that appealing to the receptionist's sense of working-class solidarity is going to get him in the door, and it fucking works.

[afishwritesamusical]

[afishwritesamusical]

Today's high schoolers romanticizing 2016 as if there weren't the clown incidents

[afishwritesamusical]

Thrilled to announce nothing

[afishwritesamusical]

I was staying at a friend's house and had a dream that Pitbull (the rapper) came out as trans and was BEAUTIFUL and I woke up briefly just as my friend was going to work but I was still too sleepy to get up so I called her while in the same house to say I dreamed that Pitbull was trans and then hung up

[afishwritesamusical]

This is so valid, but I’ve been flagging almost every ticket email I’ve received for a decade now, and I recently scrolled through the Flagged folder. Turned into a really nice trip down memory lane!

We have to bring back physical concert tickets I'm so serious

[afishwritesamusical]

That’s a Beatles chorus off the white album, isn’t it?

it's really embarrassing how much self control i have to exert when you put me in front of a tray of convenient and tender meat like if you put meatballs in front if me the fuckers are gone in milliseconds. same true of roadted brussels sprouts or basically anything that's a nice little dense and textured morsel. i am the hors that d'ouvres

[afishwritesamusical]

My favorite genre of self-portrait is cartoonists being bothered by their characters while trying to draw

Bill Watterson – Calvin and Hobbes (1986)

Hergé – Tintin (1947, Tintin Magazine)

Jeff Smith – Bone (1993, Bone Holiday Special)

Walt Kelly – Pogo (1950, Maclean's Magazine)

And a bonus:

Berkeley Breathed – Bloom County

[afishwritesamusical]

on one hand it’s often too much for my animal brain to know about so many people and events all over the world but on the other hand today on my socials I posted a video foraging mushrooms and one of my mutuals who liked it in California posted a video sewing a 17th century dress reproduction from an original piece and one of my other mutuals who liked it in Alaska posted a video celebrating his town bringing in an entire whale and another of my mutuals who liked it in Ireland posted about their efforts removing invasive plants from a pasture and I’m like wow we all lived such different days on the same day all around the world and i got to see all of their smiles today and we all got to share in all those things from so far away. and life is beautiful and the world is beautiful and its people are so beautiful

[afishwritesamusical]

If you're reading this...

go write three sentences on your current writing project.

[afishwritesamusical]

Puki what else is in your music that we don't know about

Spreading love is no longer working for me. I choose to spread fire.

[afishwritesamusical]

i’m having a stroke